Page 29 | To not have bought eggs for DSCs?

eggsbenedict82 · 2022-04-17T11:16:22+00:00

Long story short, DSD (10yo) and DSS (8yo) are being dropped off here later by DH's ex. The whole visit was arranged with short notice, and only briefly rushed past me, as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS. This morning, after DS had opened his eggs, DH asked where the DSCs eggs are so they can be set up for later. I told him I had not bought any, and when he got indignant I said it's as simple as they're not my DCs, they're his, it's not my fault he's waited until Easter day, when no shops are open. Not my responsibility, but as per usual, I've been cast as the wicked stepmother - happy Easter, hey? [hmm]AIBU

SoupDragon · 17/04/2022 16:01

Yes I think you must just not mind doing "wife work"

It's not about "wife work" that's just a lazy argument. She was the one ordering eggs. Anyone with an ounce of decency would order them for all the family given they were doing that job. I would feel the same if it had been the husband ordering eggs and missing off his wife's children.

Ahgoonyegirlye · 17/04/2022 16:01

It’s a few quid on chocolate eggs, not clothing or housing or holidays. Fecking chocolate eggs for young kids.

ChiswickFlo · 17/04/2022 16:01

You've spent weeks preparing Easter for a 3yr old?

Did you lay and hatch his his eggs yourself??? 😮

CandyLeBonBon · 17/04/2022 16:01

@Chikapu

What the fucking hell does Easter preparation entail that it takes weeks?

A full theatrical production of the Easter story, performed as a mime, by Buddhist monks who have taken a vow of silence, from a hitherto undiscovered sacred village in Tibet, I believe.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 17/04/2022 16:01

I think the OP should stick to her guns. The DH has opted out of the facilitation of his children's lives and he is experiencing the natural consequences.

But the whole thing feels OTT. Easter does not require £££s or hours of planning and preparation. Chocolate egg for each kid, maybe a little Easter egg hunt. A nice roast dinner if you are entertaining. Church if you are religious. Anything else feels like you're living your life for Instagram.

Housetreecar · 17/04/2022 16:01

I think you’re being a bit of a cow to make a point. Yes he should have thought but really? You’re preparing Easter for your son and were in Easter buying mode and you didn’t chuck in a couple of eggs at a couple of quid each for your step children but you did for your sisters kids. Personally I think it’s pretty vindictive.

I don’t live with DP and he usually sees his DD without me but I still said to him “have you got DD an egg” and when I was in the supermarket the other day I rang him and said “I’m just picking up some Easter bits for the kids, do you want me to grab anything for DD while I’m here”.

On his birthday I made sure she didn’t forget to call him and on her birthday I suggested what he could buy her and sent him links, would happily have picked something up for her if I was ordering for my kids at the same time

No she’s not my responsibility but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about things

SoupDragon · 17/04/2022 16:02

Clearly this is not a blended family at all. It's very much "them and us."

nopuppiesallowed · 17/04/2022 16:02

I would have bought Easter eggs for any children visiting for Easter so would have bought them for my step children if I had any. I have never expected my husband to do it - but then he does lots of jobs I don't want to do. We don't keep a tally sheet of who does what in our house - we are a team.

Housetreecar · 17/04/2022 16:02

It's not about "wife work" that's just a lazy argument. She was the one ordering eggs. Anyone with an ounce of decency would order them for all the family given they were doing that job. I would feel the same if it had been the husband ordering eggs and missing off his wife's children.

100% this!

Moochio · 17/04/2022 16:02

@SoupDragon

Yes I think you must just not mind doing "wife work"

It's not about "wife work" that's just a lazy argument. She was the one ordering eggs. Anyone with an ounce of decency would order them for all the family given they were doing that job. I would feel the same if it had been the husband ordering eggs and missing off his wife's children.

Did he say hey, can you add some eggs for DSC? No he did not. He expected OP to do it for him. He should be the one ensuring the sacred chocolate eggs are there.

FatFucker · 17/04/2022 16:03

I normally fume on the step parent threads. As most of step parents are normally really really unreasonable and unkind.

BUT I really don't think you are in this case.

He's angry at you for not getting your step kids eggs! WTF! Would he be angry for you for not getting his kids birthday presents as well!!

I have a step son who I treat as a son. My ex would NOT have expected me to automatically buy him an egg. He would check and say if you're getting eggs who you get one for DSS.

He's a cheeky twat getting angry, he's the one not organised not you!

Did DSS's mum get your kids eggs??

aSofaNearYou · 17/04/2022 16:03

Well, the OP wasn't so busy worrying about her own child that she didn't manage to add extra eggs for her nieces. Not exactly hard work to click 5 instead of 3 or whatever.

She'd already done that online shop by the time she realised she'd be seeing her SC.

Also her nieces are her side of the family, it's fairly standard for both partner's to sort their side of the family. I take the lead on my parents and DP does his, for example.

funinthesun19 · 17/04/2022 16:03

What the fucking hell does Easter preparation entail that it takes weeks?

Week 1- budget will only allow the Easter eggs.
Week 2- budget will only allow the egg hunt stuff.
Week 3- budget will only allow the food.

Really not that hard to imagine the reason why it takes a few weeks to accomplish. Some people can afford it all in one go but not everyone can.

Moochio · 17/04/2022 16:03

@SoupDragon

Clearly this is not a blended family at all. It's very much "them and us."

You can be partly blended it doesn't have to be a full on blended into a fine paste indistinguishable from each other.

Finallylostit · 17/04/2022 16:04

So petty.

I bought eggs for my 2, the 2 DSC and the half siblings on either side. My 2s half sibling and the DSCs half sibling who will both be around at some point in the next week.

This bloody division of everything I do not understand.

ChiswickFlo · 17/04/2022 16:04

These are your child's half siblings, yes?

Might have been a nice gesture for "him" to give them a small egg each?

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 17/04/2022 16:04

A full theatrical production of the Easter story, performed as a mime, by Buddhist monks who have taken a vow of silence, from a hitherto undiscovered sacred village in Tibet, I believe.

@Chikapu don't forget a full orchestral rendition of Handel's Messiah.

CandyLeBonBon · 17/04/2022 16:05

Moochio, she finished her preparations and shopping on Tuesday. Kids were organised weds - he may or may not have known that the op had finished her preparations and she may or may not have told him so that arrangements could be made. You're making assumptions now as the op has not said whether she let him know or not.

ChiswickFlo · 17/04/2022 16:05

@SoupDragon

Clearly this is not a blended family at all. It's very much "them and us."

Yes. It would seem so.

cantbecoping · 17/04/2022 16:05

If I was buying for my own child, I most certainly would have bought for their siblings too when I was at it. Mortified for your scabbiness.

Moochio · 17/04/2022 16:05

@ChiswickFlo

These are your child's half siblings, yes?

Might have been a nice gesture for "him" to give them a small egg each?

How many eggs do they need? I never bought my siblings eggs. Dad gets them an egg each. Sorted.

AskingforaBaskin · 17/04/2022 16:06

Why does it matter if she does make a big deal of Easter. It's for her and her son.

Who is it hurting? We have to spend ages planning Easter because of allergies.

OP is the good parent for planning ahead and making her child happy.

Moochio · 17/04/2022 16:06

@CandyLeBonBon

Moochio, she finished her preparations and shopping on Tuesday. Kids were organised weds - he may or may not have known that the op had finished her preparations and she may or may not have told him so that arrangements could be made. You're making assumptions now as the op has not said whether she let him know or not.

She shouldn't have to. He could ask her. Not wait until Easter day.

ChiswickFlo · 17/04/2022 16:07

@cantbecoping

If I was buying for my own child, I most certainly would have bought for their siblings too when I was at it. Mortified for your scabbiness.

Yeah. All feels a bit tawdry

PrincessPaws · 17/04/2022 16:07

@Willyoujustbequiet

Actually just read you knew on Wednesday...

Yes he should have but not getting them anything deliberately when you've had all that time is downright mean. This is exactly why some people take a dim view of stepmothers. Do better.

Or perhaps one of their parents 'should just do better' and sort it out.

Fair enough if the OP went shopping for eggs on Thursday. and knew the DSC we're going to be there on Wednesday it would be a bit off, but she had finished everything before they were coming. In this instance, the ONLY person who should do better is their father