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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have bought eggs for DSCs?

1002 replies

eggsbenedict82 · 17/04/2022 12:16

Long story short, DSD (10yo) and DSS (8yo) are being dropped off here later by DH's ex. The whole visit was arranged with short notice, and only briefly rushed past me, as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS.
This morning, after DS had opened his eggs, DH asked where the DSCs eggs are so they can be set up for later.
I told him I had not bought any, and when he got indignant I said it's as simple as they're not my DCs, they're his, it's not my fault he's waited until Easter day, when no shops are open. Not my responsibility, but as per usual, I've been cast as the wicked stepmother - happy Easter, hey? HmmAIBU

OP posts:
Moochio · 17/04/2022 15:52

@Wizzbangfizz

Very mean spirited.
Of their dad not to share? Yes I agree.
Shortandsweet20 · 17/04/2022 15:52

It sounds like you don't really care about your step children, you might but you certainly aren't showing it. If you knew on Wednesday it's enough time for either of you to grab an egg each.

You sound quite bitter about this 'evil stepmother' portrayal but it doesn't seem far off to me at the moment.

My mom would never have let me and my brother have an Easter egg hunt and presents whilst my step siblings say with nothing.

Both you and your husband are BU

WindyKnickers · 17/04/2022 15:52

You've spent the "last few weeks" preparing Easter for a 3 year old? Isnt that a bit excessive? I mean you have no need to buy eggs for your step kids, their Dad should have done it. But it sounds like you have a lot of eggs and gifts lying around the house and your 3 year old will not notice if a couple of eggs get siphoned off for the step kids. I'm sure you can find something for them. Sounds like you just want to find a reason to moan about them/their mum/your DP.

SunshineAndFizz · 17/04/2022 15:53

Think both you and your DP are unreasonable. Yes of course he should have bought eggs, but I do find it a bit odd you wouldn't suggest to get them eggs yourself since your organising Easter for your household.

AskingforaBaskin · 17/04/2022 15:53

How would her guards ever learn to get his shit together if Op always picked up his slack because "won't somebody think of the children"

If they do not have eggs today it is solely because their father didn't hand over his own.

There is no train of thought that doesn't end with their father snapping his fingers and expecting the women to run around after him.

aSofaNearYou · 17/04/2022 15:54

@CandyLeBonBon

My radar is too busy looking after my own child to be worrying about someone else's.

These are the OP's stepchildren and half siblings to her D's, not done randomer's kid off the streets!

Yeah that doesn't really make any difference. They still have parents to have their needs at the forefront of their minds.
ArtVandalay · 17/04/2022 15:54

Of course, your husband should be as responsible for buying easter eggs as you are.

But your step-children should be as important as your own. I’d be more worried about them missing out rather than making a point at this late stage.

enjoyingscience · 17/04/2022 15:54

Well done both of you, the step kids will definitely feel like shit. Mission accomplished, I presume.

Amandasummers · 17/04/2022 15:55

I’m clearly in the minority but it wouldn’t occur to me to NOT buy my DSD Easter eggs when I’m buying them for my own plus our joint children 🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe I just don’t mind “wife work” or maybe I just treat them all as equals in our home?

Needhelp101 · 17/04/2022 15:55

@CandyLeBonBon

"I have spent the last few weeks preparing the Easter celebrations for DS"

What have you been preparing? An live-action allegory of the musical 'Jesus Christ superstar' using chocolate bunnies and fluffy ducks?

I mean I do a brilliant Easter egg hunt and when my 3 were younger we had amazing Easter egg hunts in the woods.

I was (am) a single parent and their dad did fuck all for them. Still didn't take me bloody weeks though! You're reaching a bit there!!

I know this is a Mumsnet cliche but that actually, genuinely made me spit out my drink Easter Grin
SoupDragon · 17/04/2022 15:55

My radar is too busy looking after my own child to be worrying about someone else's.

Well, the OP wasn't so busy worrying about her own child that she didn't manage to add extra eggs for her nieces. Not exactly hard work to click 5 instead of 3 or whatever.

barkingdogturfwar · 17/04/2022 15:55

Fucking hell. So the kids aren't with their mum, so she is absolved of responsibility for Easter eggs seemingly. Their dad is absolved of responsibility too because OP has a vagina and did an online shop at some point earlier this week. And the OP is getting roasted on here for not sorting out Easter for these kids who have a mum and a dad and all blame lands squarely on her shoulders. Right.

Moochio · 17/04/2022 15:55

These are the OP's stepchildren and half siblings to her D's, not done randomer's kid off the streets! and? They have parents. Their parents can sort easter.

CakeAmbushAlert · 17/04/2022 15:56

@eggsbenedict82 DS has had a lovely day

It’s lovely you enjoyed making Raster nice for your son. What makes you sound heartless is that you don’t seem to give a shit what kind of day your step children will have. As someone else said your 3 year old won’t remember but your Step children will know that neither you or their father could be bothered to pick up an egg for £2 for them.

Who bought their eggs from your household in previous years?

Moochio · 17/04/2022 15:56

@SoupDragon

My radar is too busy looking after my own child to be worrying about someone else's.

Well, the OP wasn't so busy worrying about her own child that she didn't manage to add extra eggs for her nieces. Not exactly hard work to click 5 instead of 3 or whatever.

It is when it's your own money you're having to spend and DH has his own he can buy them himself.
Moochio · 17/04/2022 15:57

@Amandasummers

I’m clearly in the minority but it wouldn’t occur to me to NOT buy my DSD Easter eggs when I’m buying them for my own plus our joint children 🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe I just don’t mind “wife work” or maybe I just treat them all as equals in our home?
Yes I think you must just not mind doing "wife work"
SoupDragon · 17/04/2022 15:57

They still have parents to have their needs at the forefront of their minds.

It's not a matter of "needs" it's a matter of being a decent person and ordering eggs for all the children in the family since you're ordering them anyway.

CandyLeBonBon · 17/04/2022 15:57

@Moochio nowhere has the OP stated she has been expected to use her own money exclusively.

GetYourGoatYouHavePulled · 17/04/2022 15:57

I think that when you marry a man with children you accept them as being part of your family. The whole not my kids mentally is cruel and would make any step child feel uncomfortable and unwanted. I don’t think buying Easter eggs is the wife’s job, but if you took on the role of preparing Easter for your son, I think you should have included buying eggs for your step children at the same time. Whether they were supposed to be at yours for Easter or not is irrelevant, eggs should have been bought for them from you and your husband.

I think you have cast yourself in the role of wicked stepmother.

Moochio · 17/04/2022 15:58

@SoupDragon

They still have parents to have their needs at the forefront of their minds.

It's not a matter of "needs" it's a matter of being a decent person and ordering eggs for all the children in the family since you're ordering them anyway.

Why? I don't get the food shopping in when DSC are here, DH does it. He can sort it out. His kids. I don't go buying their clothes when my DC needs clothes. He has money he can buy clothes for them with that.
Ahgoonyegirlye · 17/04/2022 15:59

Those poor kids. When sorting your child out would it have killed you to buy and an extra egg or treats for your child’s SIBLINGS?? You may not consider them to be your children but they are your child’s brothers/sisters and part of the family.
If you’re generally this shitty towards them I can see why you might find yourself cast as the wicked step mother.
And as for those saying that the dad should have sorted it - ALL the kids should have been sorted together whichever parent was doing the Easter stuff.

Chikapu · 17/04/2022 15:59

What the fucking hell does Easter preparation entail that it takes weeks?

Bettyboopawoop · 17/04/2022 15:59

This will not just cause problems for the step child it will cause problems for your child as well as the step children will get resentful of your child and this will cause all sorts of issues, you have time to turn it around before any of the children end up damaged because you can't manage to blend a family.

Moochio · 17/04/2022 16:01

A few pounds' may be just that to some, but during the cost of living crisis, I have already gone beyond my budget for DS. To expect me to engage in extra preparation and spend more money on his DCs at such short notice is absolutely typical from DH and his ex. sounds like it isn't from a shared budget to me

AskingforaBaskin · 17/04/2022 16:01

@Bettyboopawoop

This will not just cause problems for the step child it will cause problems for your child as well as the step children will get resentful of your child and this will cause all sorts of issues, you have time to turn it around before any of the children end up damaged because you can't manage to blend a family.
If they become damaged it will solely be because of their father failing.
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