To not have bought eggs for DSCs?

[eggsbenedict82]

Long story short, DSD (10yo) and DSS (8yo) are being dropped off here later by DH's ex. The whole visit was arranged with short notice, and only briefly rushed past me, as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS.
This morning, after DS had opened his eggs, DH asked where the DSCs eggs are so they can be set up for later.
I told him I had not bought any, and when he got indignant I said it's as simple as they're not my DCs, they're his, it's not my fault he's waited until Easter day, when no shops are open. Not my responsibility, but as per usual, I've been cast as the wicked stepmother - happy Easter, hey? AIBU

Unbelievably mean. I think the DH was right in just assuming you would pick up chocolate for all of the children. I think that's a very normal assumption to make.

Also if you do have separate finances did he not preempt anything and offer money or contribution to all of his children?

I wouldn’t call Wednesday last minute.

All of this could have been easily avoided by you acknowledging DSC were coming and saying “I haven’t got them any eggs” at which point your DH should have assumed responsibility.

I think your DH has been lazy, but I would have mentioned it to be considerate to the DC.

I think the real question WYBU to have a child with someone you can barely hide your contempt for, and the answer from me is a resounding yes

What happened last Easter?

Op you sound horrible.

Two children are likely to feel left out and upset. Think about how being treated differently might impact your ds’s relationship with his siblings.
You have been mean about your husbands ex-wife who has bought your child an egg AND an outfit. If your ds had a stepmother how would you like her to treat him? Try treating your stepchildren in the way you would like your ds to be treated.

Wife work my arse - it’s just being nice to children, hardly difficult I’d have thought.

@icanonlydosomuch

DH's ex bought an egg and outfit for DS, as one of her usual attempts to keep in DH's good books while I am painted as the evil stepmother. This is typical of the both of them tbh

DH's ex sounds nice and caring. However you sound petty and vindictive. I wouldn't want you to be my children's stepmum!

I don’t think OP is exactly itching to be step-mother to your children

@Skelligsfeathers I couldn’t agree more. OP you are just mean and petty

@steff13

I would have bought them for all the kids in our family if I were the one buying them.

Yeh, I agree. I couldn't imagine sorting only one of the three children in my household out with an egg, regardless of whether I birthed them or not.

@eggsbenedict82

Long story short, DSD (10yo) and DSS (8yo) are being dropped off here later by DH's ex. The whole visit was arranged with short notice, and only briefly rushed past me, as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS. This morning, after DS had opened his eggs, DH asked where the DSCs eggs are so they can be set up for later. I told him I had not bought any, and when he got indignant I said it's as simple as they're not my DCs, they're his, it's not my fault he's waited until Easter day, when no shops are open. Not my responsibility, but as per usual, I've been cast as the wicked stepmother - happy Easter, hey? AIBU

OP I have to say your meanness shines out of you. How much preparation does Easter take for a three year old?

Your argument about budgets doesn't ring true op. You bought eggs for your sisters kids because she buys eggs for your ds. By that logic, you'd also get eggs for the dsc as the ex gave your ds an egg and an outfit - so surely you'd apply the same 'reciprocal' arrangement, and if the ex does this as the norm, as you seem to be implying, you'd surely budget and plan for it. And yes, you have a dh problem if he's unable to manage organising a few Easter eggs, but that's a separate conversation, and one that needs to happen independently of making your stepchildren very aware of their unwanted place in your home.

It shouldn't be put on me to prepare Easter for his children

If you are marrying a man who already has children, you really ought to try to think of them as your own. These children are your sons siblings, and if you and your DH have a successful marriage, they will be in your lives forever. Yes, your DH should have bought some eggs, but you're both at fault really. You've both known since Wednesday that the kids are coming over today, and for some reason, neither one of you has had the forethought to pop to a shop. Not only that, but they will see all of the eggs and gifts that your son has, and wonder why they not nothing. Poor kids. Poor show all round.

@AhNowTed

Sounds like they're made for each other.

Or maybe her DH is made for you.

I have stepkids and my own ds. When I bought my own ds and easter egg I just gave dh a call to check he was getting his kids one otherwise I'd have got them. He would have done the same for me. You've had since Wednesday for one of you to get them. This is awful.

I think you're both as bad as each other. You did an online shop for your son and nieces, you could have easily added a couple more for the step kids or was the plan not to give them any because they weren't due to be with you.

You found out Wednesday, not last minute, and neither of you discussed having some eggs in for the step kids.

And how much organising does it take for Easter for a 3 year old, a few hours even if you went the whole hog with decorations and egg hunts.

[quote Tillsforthrills]@ThisMustBeMyDream

DH may have wrongly assumed that as she was buying eggs, she’d include DSC. Its interesting your idealistic take on it seeing that you’re a step mum. Hopefully most step mums have a shred of decency.[/quote]
My step mother used to buy choc and treats for her and my dad’s ‘own’ son and nothing for me and my brother.

I thought it was cruel, even when I was a child but now I have children and step children myself, it seems all kinds of fucked up.

OP you are unkind, petty and a bit ridiculous. I feel sorry for your step children.

You have apparently been very busy for some time “organising Easter” but your answer when he asks about Easter eggs for the other children in the family is “they are not my kids”? And you wonder why you have been cast as the wicked stepmother?

Yes he could have thought of it and it is not your job, but you were there buying multiple Easter eggs for one child and didn’t even think to pick up two more? It is beyond my comprehension to be honest.

The wicked stepmother label seems well earned. You shouldn’t have got with a man with children if buying an extra chocolate egg is too much effort for you.

@froidIci

There is something OFF about this thread. It isn’t right. It’s a wind up. Reporting to MNHQ. The bit about the ex wife buying outfit and egg has over-egged (forgive the pun) pudding a bit.

Why should this be reported? Whether you think I'm lying is irrelevant, Mumsnet should be a space where we can air our grievances and issues. My post isn't causing any harm to anyone. Some people! There's always one

@eggsbenedict82 why do you keep making yourself sound worse with every update?

People give actual gifts at Easter now? Wow.

I do think you should have expected him not to and told him to. It's not the kids fault. But I think he's out of order expecting g you to. He's going to have to go out looking or give then his.

Well no, not your job but if I was standing in front of a display of eggs buying for one child in the family, I do think chucking two more on the trolley wouldn’t have required huge effort on my part.