To not have bought eggs for DSCs?

[eggsbenedict82]

Long story short, DSD (10yo) and DSS (8yo) are being dropped off here later by DH's ex. The whole visit was arranged with short notice, and only briefly rushed past me, as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS.
This morning, after DS had opened his eggs, DH asked where the DSCs eggs are so they can be set up for later.
I told him I had not bought any, and when he got indignant I said it's as simple as they're not my DCs, they're his, it's not my fault he's waited until Easter day, when no shops are open. Not my responsibility, but as per usual, I've been cast as the wicked stepmother - happy Easter, hey? AIBU

Just waiting for this to be deleted - outing or some utter pish like that.

Tell him to go to a motorway service station. I stopped at one a couple of hours ago and they had plenty of eggs.

The OP is soundly in the wrong and seems unwilling to admit to being petty and spiteful.

@Boxowine

I would have picked up some for them when I bought for my own child. Even if I weren't expecting to see them until next week. Not because it's woman's work but because I would want them to know that I care about them.

What about their dad who ‘didn’t care about them’ enough to get his children Easter eggs 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think YABU you are a family and when you picked up your DC eggs it would have been nice to consider DSC.

Yes they're his children, but surely when you picked up your own DCs egg you would've just got the others, even if they're not with you on the day

I would have bought eggs for all whether they were there or not - they are a couple of pounds but mean the world to the kids. Should he have done it? I think that's a a pathetic excuse - my H does lots of stuff for my children. It's give and take. It's not a big ask.

Either this is BS or the OP has an extreme lack of self awareness.

@Boxowine

I would have picked up some for them when I bought for my own child. Even if I weren't expecting to see them until next week. Not because it's woman's work but because I would want them to know that I care about them.

Perfectly said @Boxowine

@AlternativePerspective

Not buying eggs for all the children is incredibly petty, and “getting Easter ready for ds”? Wtf?

This with fucking bells on.

Regardless of whether they were visiting today or not, I would have bought them when I was buying for mine. They wouldn’t have gone off.

Seems a bit mean spirited and hardly wife work picking up a couple of extra eggs.

Lorw if OP was doing the Easter prep generally for the house, then this would fall to her. Makes no sense that her DH goes out to get just two for his DC. He should have asked her and checked yes, but she wilfully ledt them out!
They are her young DSC not just some random kids.
It brutal behaviour and really damn spiteful! Really, really petty and horrible.

I am actually flabbergasted tbh.

@eggsbenedict82 you have gone beyond YOUR budget ? Does your H not pay towards this too? Maybe keep within your budget - Easter gifts as well? It's all commercialism.

@SoupDragon

I did buy my three nieces eggs and a gift each, as my sister does the same for DS.

That makes it worse!

It really does 🙈

I agree that your DH asking you where your DSCs’ eggs are, as if it were your responsibility to do it on his behalf, is cheeky.

But blowing your budget buying eggs and gifts for every other child in your family and not getting even a couple of cheap eggs for your child’s half-siblings is just awful and I can’t imagine what kind of person would do that. While sneering at the egg and gift your husband’s ex got for her children’s half-sibling!

@eggsbenedict82 it is obvious from your post that you never intended to give them any whether they had been there or not so just hold your hands up.

I'm normally firmly of the opinion that men should sort out gifts for their own family. I don't get birthday presents for my DH's parents and siblings for instance - that's his responsibility. However, we're also a team. If I was getting something for myself that I knew he also needed then I would pick his up too, like when my Mum was alive if I was in the shop buying her a Mother's Day card I would get one for DH to give his Mum too, as the extra 30 seconds to buy another really wasn't any trouble. And I do remind him of stuff like this, not because it's my responsibility but because I have a good memory, he doesn't and we work together.
It does seem odd to me that you bought your own child eggs, and your nephews and nieces, but not your stepchildren. And that you didn't even remind your husband, even though you knew he was likely not to get any. I think that's harsh. I would have expect you (as a couple) to have bought them something, even if you weren't expecting to see them tocau, and come on, finding out on Weds for Sunday is hardly last minute. I thiught you were going to say the plans changed this morning, and even then, one of you could have nipped out to a petrol station or something. Wherever the fault lies in the situation, it certainly isn't with the children, and it's them that are going to be hurt. That looks like a deliberate slight to me, especially given that their Mum has bought something for your child. How are those kids supposed to feel about that? Neither their Dad nor their Stepmum bothered to buy them even a cheap egg, but their half sibling it seems has been showered with gifts? Not a great foundation for future relationships is it?
Who actually bought the eggs is neither here nor there to a degree, but one of you should have done it, and the fact that you haven't communicated about it at all suggests there's bigger problems really. It's not the fact that you didn't physically buy the eggs that I think is wrong, but it seems like you saw this situation coming but did nothing to prevent it. Now it's happened, I'd say that all the eggs in the house get shared between everyone. That's what we do anyway actually.

So you're not happy with
DH - didn't buy eggs
MIL - shouldn't buy DH an egg
his ex - shouldn't but your DC an egg and present

Your DS is of course fine!

You reciprocate for her but don't for your DSC, even though their mother dies for your child.

It's almost like DHs family can do nothing right...

@MissChanandlerBong80

I agree that your DH asking you where your DSCs’ eggs are, as if it were your responsibility to do it on his behalf, is cheeky.

But blowing your budget buying eggs and gifts for every other child in your family and not getting even a couple of cheap eggs for your child’s half-siblings is just awful and I can’t imagine what kind of person would do that. While sneering at the egg and gift your husband’s ex got for her children’s half-sibling!

Completely agree

YANBU it sounds like you're on strike. I'm assuming he's ripped the piss out of you and now he needs to learn to use his own brain and think ahead.

You covered your side he didn't even ask what they had if he did assume you got them. He gave zero interest until today?

Didn't check in and see what was left to do considering all the children are his.

Just mentally checked out.

Looks like he fucked about and found out.

Certainly not “wife work” - I buy 90% of birthday and Christmas presents for my kids, extended family and my DSC and partner’s extended family.

My DP’s (female) a bit shit at doing that, tbh, so it falls to me (male) and has done pretty much from a year in, once I knew my DSC.

Easter eggs fall into the same territory. My DP didn’t buy any at all, so if I’d not picked some up for her kids then they’d not have had one.

I think OP is out of order for not chucking a couple of eggs in the trolley for her stepkids. Her DH is ALSO out of order for not divvying up the eggs (plural! He’s in his forties!) he got from his parents once he knew his DC didn’t have any bought for them.

I wonder if the husband has seen all this 'preparing Easter' and a mountain of eggs and gifts coming in to the house, and it hasn't occurred to him that his wife was spiteful enough to have not allocated any of them to his children.

You're both unreasonable. It doesn't fucking matter who gets the eggs, as it's the kids who suffer in the end.
Why didn't you both discuss it? I honestly despair.
Some people on here are more concerned with proving a point, than the feelings involved on the other side.

Poor kids. I think it sounds like you have been deliberately mean.

I would have bought the kids an egg if I was already egg shopping for another child.

Doesn't mean he's not a tosser though.