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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not have bought eggs for DSCs?

1002 replies

eggsbenedict82 · 17/04/2022 12:16

Long story short, DSD (10yo) and DSS (8yo) are being dropped off here later by DH's ex. The whole visit was arranged with short notice, and only briefly rushed past me, as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS.
This morning, after DS had opened his eggs, DH asked where the DSCs eggs are so they can be set up for later.
I told him I had not bought any, and when he got indignant I said it's as simple as they're not my DCs, they're his, it's not my fault he's waited until Easter day, when no shops are open. Not my responsibility, but as per usual, I've been cast as the wicked stepmother - happy Easter, hey? HmmAIBU

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 17/04/2022 13:39

Well, technically they're his kids so his responsibility, of course. He should have at least checked whether you had bought some. However, you have known since Wednesday, and I can't see that it would have done you any harm to buy a couple of eggs either. You sound quite mean. It's the kids who are going to miss out, regardless of who should have sorted it.

What's the usual division of labour in your house? I assume that you're both working full time and that the organisation of stuff like this doesn't particularly fall to you? If that's the case, then your DH definitely shouldn't have made assumptions. On the other hand, you say that he knew you were preparing for Easter, so it wasn't a wildly inappropriate assumption on his part that you would do that for the whole family.

Better communication is clearly needed all round.

Merryoldgoat · 17/04/2022 13:40

DH's ex bought an egg and outfit for DS, as one of her usual attempts to keep in DH's good books while I am painted as the evil stepmother. This is typical of the both of them tbh

You did well OP - you had be buying it for a while.

Seemssounfair · 17/04/2022 13:40

You and your dh need to grow up and have a talk about how you will work as a blended family so you both dont leave any children hurt, disappointed or in an awkward atmosphere at every holiday.

This situation was completely unnecessary and avoidable.

EarringsandLipstick · 17/04/2022 13:40

I had finished all my preparation on Wednesday. It shouldn't be put on me to prepare Easter for his children.

You are both UR, and in an unpleasant tit-for-tat relationship.

Of course you could have sorted some eggs since knowing they'd be coming on Wednesday.

Should you have to? No. But you ideally would want to.

Of course the DC own father should have planned this too.

This sounds much less about the DC & much more about you not liking your H much.

Thesearmsofmine · 17/04/2022 13:41

You sound nasty. Imagine buying eggs for your son and not buying any for his siblings. Awful. Yes DH should have bought eggs but there was nothing stopping you from doing something nice for dc you presumably care about given you married their father. His ex sounds really nice btw.

LarryUnderwood · 17/04/2022 13:41

What do you mean, your budget for DS? Doesn't your DH pay towards the care of all his kids?

Sounds like your DS is future DSS for some other poor woman, once you get fed up iof your DH.

Whitney168 · 17/04/2022 13:41

Even if we make the assumption that OP is in the right not to bother with the poor step-children, and that they don't deserve an Easter egg if they're not there on the right day to get it ... and that this oh so time-consuming 'preparing for Easter' couldn't possibly be extended/shared out between the three children ... why on Wednesday would you not have at least said 'oh I've not picked up any eggs for them as I didn't expect them to be here - can you do it please?'.

Total exercise designed to cause a fight between adults, while the children are the ones that will feel hurt.

StationaryMagpie · 17/04/2022 13:41

YABU.

I am a mum, and a stepmum, and it wouldn't occur to me NOT to buy eggs for my DSD, regardless of what her Dad was doing, because she's MY stepdaughter, and i treat her like my own two.. if her dad wanted to get one just from him, thats his business.

I can't fathom step parents who're like "Its your kid, you sort it, i'm busy doing my childrens" if you're married it should never EVER be "them and us" you're a family.

Oh, and it wouldn't matter if i were seeing them Easter either, i'd make sure they were dropped off to her mums.

Awful, awful parenting OP.

MarryMeTomHardy · 17/04/2022 13:41

You are both being unreasonable ; DSC should have been bought eggs whether visiting or not, but he should have spoken with you about whether you had included eggs for them.
Convenience stored are open & Uber Eats are delivering...

SmokeyToo · 17/04/2022 13:41

I've never felt the need to post on here before. I have no children or step children, but I do have nieces and nephews. And I certainly know a bitch when I see one!

You should grow up, OP. Why did you marry this man, knowing he has two children (and an overbearing mother, although that's beside the point)? Did you just want a child of your own and plan to 'vaporise' the two you inherited by marriage?

You know what's going to happen to you when your kids grow up? The steps will remember everything and your son will know everything you did to his siblings and hate you for it. Kids aren't stupid - they watch and learn.

Enjoy your lonely golden years, because it will just be you and your infantalised husband.

Quincythequince · 17/04/2022 13:41

I’m thinking this isn’t real.
It can’t be.
Eggs, gifts, egg hunt etc and the OP didn’t just pick up two eggs for her DSC just because.

Do you hate them OP?

WTF475878237NC · 17/04/2022 13:42

why on Wednesday would you not have at least said 'oh I've not picked up any eggs for them as I didn't expect them to be here - can you do it please?'.

^ good point

Pop175 · 17/04/2022 13:42

I can see both sides. No they are not your kids but surely you and your partner are a partnership so you would have thought about buying eggs at some point since they've been in the shops, since January? Or when you bought your sons? But then your Dp should have double checked they had some eggs. Both as bad as each other.

Even if they weren't actually visiting today you'd get them an egg anyway surely? Ds won't be seeing his dad much over the weekend but he is still dropping an egg off after he finishes this afternoon.

You sound like you are not keen on your step kids. Your partner sounds useless.

Hope their mum gave them a good Easter morning. Poor kids 😪

To add, some spar or other small stores are open and might have eggs.

Persephonegoddess · 17/04/2022 13:43

With a blended family myself, raised and current, getting double Easter eggs was one of the only benefits of living across two houses, there were lots of drawbacks.
I would never buy for my son and not my step daughter no matter what the ex's are doing. You are not a nice stepmum and whilst I agree his kids he should have bought, it's fair if him to admire if you have gone over budget and done sooo much prep. You would have spent £2 on your step kids.....

Quincythequince · 17/04/2022 13:43

@SmokeyToo

I've never felt the need to post on here before. I have no children or step children, but I do have nieces and nephews. And I certainly know a bitch when I see one!

You should grow up, OP. Why did you marry this man, knowing he has two children (and an overbearing mother, although that's beside the point)? Did you just want a child of your own and plan to 'vaporise' the two you inherited by marriage?

You know what's going to happen to you when your kids grow up? The steps will remember everything and your son will know everything you did to his siblings and hate you for it. Kids aren't stupid - they watch and learn.

Enjoy your lonely golden years, because it will just be you and your infantalised husband.

If this egg biting behaviour is more broadly applied, as I bet it is, then yes, I agree with your post.

So you get them a selection box at Christmas or an advent calendar too, or do you just not bother? Even though you presumably buy for other children.

Quincythequince · 17/04/2022 13:43

Egg buying

AhNowTed · 17/04/2022 13:43

So much spite, pettiness and pure mean-spirit.

I wouldn't be sending my kids anywhere near "your" house OP.

AlexaShutUp · 17/04/2022 13:43

You sound quite ungrateful for the existence gesture with regard to buying an egg for your ds. That was a nice thing for her to do, surely, and she wouldn't have known that you/DH had failed to organise anything for her dc.

It sounds like you have plenty of chocolate in the house anyway - you went over budget on your ds's eggs, your dsis bought him one and so did DH's ex. Then your DH has some from MIL. I'm sure that there are plenty of eggs for the sdc from that stash.

Brett239 · 17/04/2022 13:43

Ya maybe it's his job but I wouldn't ruin the children's Easter to prove a point. You are being mean.

Persephonegoddess · 17/04/2022 13:44

Assume not admire

Hallyup89 · 17/04/2022 13:44

@drspouse

What a load of man-panderers! Where are your spines, women? He can buy his own kids eggs. It is not a job requiring a cervix.
But, equally, you don't need a penis to be able to do it.

It's not unreasonable that, 50% of the time, the woman should be shopping. What the op did was plain cruel.

VyeBrator · 17/04/2022 13:44

I had finished all my preparation on Wednesday. It shouldn't be put on me to prepare Easter for his children.

Whilst this is true, the more you post the more you look like you're dragging his children into your obvious dislike of your husband and using them to make a point.

That's a poor show OP. If you have problems with him (and it's crystal clear that you do), sort them without bringing the kids into it.

Cookiecrumble22 · 17/04/2022 13:45

I think the smaller shops are open tesco express ect. So could probably pick up a couple of eggs there each .

I would not see this as its not my job. I would have automatically bought the other children eggs as well because they are kids. I would feel guilty if my kids had eggs and the other children did not.

Greensleeves · 17/04/2022 13:45

@AhNowTed

So much spite, pettiness and pure mean-spirit.

I wouldn't be sending my kids anywhere near "your" house OP.

I suspect OP would be over the moon with that outcome.

Buying eggs for her nieces and not the stepchildren is very telling. Some people are very tribal and shouldn't be stepparents at all.

YayitisfinallySpring · 17/04/2022 13:46

[quote Constantcrayfish]@ImInStealthMode I finally found the Regs (was annoying me not knowing) and shops over a certain size can’t open on Christmas Day, Boxing Day, Liberation Day and Good Friday. But Easter Sunday fine - so obviously Waitrose is following UK Head Office policy on closing and Co Op not. I can rest easy now.

Obviously none of this is relevant to the OP, not least because I imagine there are no eggs left in any of these shops now, if previous experience stands![/quote]
What is Liberation day? All large shops, including supermarkets are not allowed to open on Easter Sunday in England.

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