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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have bought eggs for DSCs?

1002 replies

eggsbenedict82 · 17/04/2022 12:16

Long story short, DSD (10yo) and DSS (8yo) are being dropped off here later by DH's ex. The whole visit was arranged with short notice, and only briefly rushed past me, as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS.
This morning, after DS had opened his eggs, DH asked where the DSCs eggs are so they can be set up for later.
I told him I had not bought any, and when he got indignant I said it's as simple as they're not my DCs, they're his, it's not my fault he's waited until Easter day, when no shops are open. Not my responsibility, but as per usual, I've been cast as the wicked stepmother - happy Easter, hey? HmmAIBU

OP posts:
JackieWeaver101 · 17/04/2022 13:35

DH's ex bought an egg and outfit for DS, as one of her usual attempts to keep in DH's good books while I am painted as the evil stepmother. This is typical of the both of them tbh

Easter Shock
PortalooSunset · 17/04/2022 13:35

DH's ex bought an egg and outfit for DS, as one of her usual attempts to keep in DH's good books while I am painted as the evil stepmother. This is typical of the both of them tbh

I think you're doing a pretty good job of painting yourself as the wicked stepmother tbh. You managed to buy eggs for your nieces who I presume do not live with you but none for your husband's children who do?
And fwiw I'm much older than your husband but my dmum still buys me an Easter egg (and a chocolate advent calendar!). Don't understand why you're so sneery about that.

Threetulips · 17/04/2022 13:35

The fact that you bought your nieces eggs but not your stepchildren is sad

No it isn’t, the sisters exchange eggs for each other’s children.

DH and his EXW should communicate about eggs and gifts, they are the parents and OP quite rightly states not only is this expected of her it also falls down to the cost.
The ‘it’s only a few pounds’ brigade might leave OP short and if her DH thinks it’s Pennie’s he won’t be putting his hand in his pocket but will take all the glory! Men are allowed in shops you know!

icanonlydosomuch · 17/04/2022 13:36

'A few pounds' may be just that to some, but during the cost of living crisis, I have already gone beyond my budget for DS. To expect me to engage in extra preparation and spend more money on his DCs at such short notice is absolutely typical from DH and his ex.

But you could have got them some and asked your DH to refund you the money.

And what extra preparation? Putting two extra eggs in your basket?

You sound awful!

howtomoveforwards · 17/04/2022 13:36

I’m sure had op known before her delivery she would have got some but yet again let’s bash a stepmum….not her responsibility

See, from many people’s perspective here, why did she not just say ‘shall I get a couple of eggs for your kids?’ when sorting the delivery? I always say ‘anyone need anything?’ to my household as I finalise the order. Or even, just get a couple of eggs from her, as their step mum, someone in their lives who cares about them and sees them as family? It’s not about bashing the OP but it is suggesting she might want to have a look at the state of her relationship as she seems to be happy she did this. I’m not sure that’s healthy.

Quincythequince · 17/04/2022 13:36

I’ve read all your posts!

Disclaimer: he should have bought his own kids eggs, obviously, or at least asked you too,
and he hasn’t so that’s terrible. But a few points below:

-‘preparing for Easter’ with one DS. I mean, come one..:
-you did buy extra eggs for other people, your DNS, so you do buy for other people, but just for your DSC. Even if he should have asked or done it, you were doing it and have left them out. You come across as a spiteful woman! His behaviour is not worse because he hasn’t bought any so hasn’t left anyone out
-they’re your DSC. You wouldn’t think to pick one up for them and give them later to them from yourselves?
-you know that eggs from his child (and ex) are being bought for yours because you are moaning about it because it’s done to make you looks bad. She’s not just trying to give your DC chocolate from his siblings for Easter?

She doesn’t need to make you look bad - you are doing a spectacular job you spiteful piece of work.

Your Poor DSC and your poor DC If these are the manners and social graces your are teaching them.

Finally, your DH should
Give his eggs over to them and you both should stop being so pathetic.

Threetulips · 17/04/2022 13:36

OP - did DH buy you and egg?

HamCob · 17/04/2022 13:36

This can't be for real?! Reverse?
No one is that spiteful. I think you may have overegged the pudding so to speak OP Wink

SilverPeacock · 17/04/2022 13:36

Why are you with this feckless man? It doesn’t sound as if you like him.

I couldn’t let children suffer though just to prove a point. Poor kids.

Quincythequince · 17/04/2022 13:36

but just not for your DSC

PinkArt · 17/04/2022 13:37

So you did 100% of the buying for just your kid.
Your SCs mum did 100% of the buying for her kids AND your kid (assuming here as it would be incredibly odd if she's bought your kid and egg and outfit but nothing for her own).
Yous husband however did 0% of anything for any of his kids. Thats who all of the outrage on this thread should be aimed at. The parent who literally did nothing and then started blaming other people.
Yeah it might have been nice if you'd bought them something if you were in a shop, or added something to the Asda order, but christ on a bike he needs to step up and actually take some responsibility here. Several children and he literally did nothing. And as his mum bought for him it's not like he's unaware of the concept of parents buying eggs for their kids.
As others have said, how in earth has this prince managed to find two women willing to procreate with him?!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 17/04/2022 13:37

Basically, what matters more here - that the adults all get to righteously assert their boundaries and responsibilities, or that two kids don’t feel left out and unwanted?

ColdSeptember · 17/04/2022 13:37

Don't moan about having gone over budget. You decided to make a ridiculous fuss for a three year old who won't remember anything about it. Unlike your stepchildren, who will remember missing out.

amymel2016 · 17/04/2022 13:37

YANBU OP, absolutely 100% up to your husband and not you to make arrangements. If your 3yr old has lots of eggs could he give them one of those? A 3 yr old can only eat so many eggs and won’t fully understand what’s going on yet.

Cheesechips · 17/04/2022 13:37

I feel sorry for the children. All this bickering and point scoring among you is pathetic.

WonderfulYou · 17/04/2022 13:37

2 extra eggs that she didn't know MIGHT be required on the OFF CHANCE they'd be dropped off with no notice. Yep. Makes sense to me.

Surely people don’t buy eggs just for those that they know they’ll see on Easter Day.

When you pick up eggs you pick up for all of the children that you are close to and give them to them whenever you see them.

KatherineJaneway · 17/04/2022 13:37

YANBU

YetiTeri · 17/04/2022 13:37

"DH's ex bought an egg and outfit for DS, as one of her usual attempts to keep in DH's good books while I am painted as the evil stepmother. This is typical of the both of them tbh"

She's not evil OP 🙄. I've changed my mind - you and your DH are both twats. His ex seems to be the only one putting the kids first.

Quincythequince · 17/04/2022 13:38

And for the record, this year is the first year I’ve not bought an egg for my DSD. But she is 24 tbf and I’ve been buying them since she was 3 just so she gets an egg from us.

ginislife · 17/04/2022 13:38

@Quincythequince says all that I wanted to say. OP admit you just don't like the fact your husband has kids with another woman. You come out of this far worse than he does (and he doesn't sound great) Vile. Those poor kids.

LovePoppy · 17/04/2022 13:39

I’m so freaking happy both my step parents don’t engage in this level of petty

WonderfulYou · 17/04/2022 13:39

I don’t think this has anything to do with your SDC you sound like you don’t like your DH and are trying to be petty and did this to try and make him feel bad.

If you dislike your DH so much then why are you even with him?

user1506328491 · 17/04/2022 13:39

Not sure I buy that your budget (rather than you resenting your SC!) was the issue here. But even if it was, your household Easter budget (say a tenner?), shld have gone on all 3 kids, not spent solely on your own DC.

Bettyboopawoop · 17/04/2022 13:39

I think it's a bit mean that you have planned stuff for your child but done absolutely nothing for the step children, whever you like it or not they are part of your family now it's what called a blended family, I would if I was your husband assume that you were sorting Easter out for the kids since you were organising activities, playing his child your child is going to cause a lot of divide in your relationship, should you be one big family.

Quincythequince · 17/04/2022 13:39

Over budget 😂?
You can get a small egg for 99p if In fact you wanted to show them how much you hate them.

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