To not have bought eggs for DSCs?

[eggsbenedict82]

Long story short, DSD (10yo) and DSS (8yo) are being dropped off here later by DH's ex. The whole visit was arranged with short notice, and only briefly rushed past me, as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS.
This morning, after DS had opened his eggs, DH asked where the DSCs eggs are so they can be set up for later.
I told him I had not bought any, and when he got indignant I said it's as simple as they're not my DCs, they're his, it's not my fault he's waited until Easter day, when no shops are open. Not my responsibility, but as per usual, I've been cast as the wicked stepmother - happy Easter, hey? AIBU

There are eggs in the local corner shops, but not any in all the supermarkets where I live. I would tell him to go and look. If I knew step children were coming over on easter Sunday then I would have picked up an egg each for them. If it was all last minute, then I wouldn't have bothered. I'm sure their mum/grandparents have bought them some?! Or did they get none at all.

What a load of man-panderers! Where are your spines, women?
He can buy his own kids eggs. It is not a job requiring a cervix.

You sound as bitter as the dark chocolate egg I'm currently eating

The visit was arranged last minute. She didn’t spitefully not get them any Easter eggs. Besides, HE should have made sure he had got them. They’re his children.

It wasn't last minute at all. There was plenty of time to have said "oh, I didn't add eggs to the Asda order as I didn't think they were coming". Although I can't understand why someone wouldn't buy for the extended family anyway given they were the ones doing the grocery order (well, I can but it isn't pleasant).

Of course YANBU, they have 2 bloody parents and if you 'just pick them up an egg while you get one for your own DC' before you know it you'll be doing everything for them. If he'd asked in advance fair enough but to assume and then go in a huff with you! I'd be furious with him x

If I went to get 1 kid an egg I would pick up another 2; id like to think my husband would do the same

His responsibility but come on they're just kids man. Have a heart. It's just petty crap.

@drspouse

What a load of man-panderers! Where are your spines, women? He can buy his own kids eggs. It is not a job requiring a cervix.

I would think exactly the same if it has been a man doing the grocery order that week. If you're buying eggs for the extended family, you buy them for all the extended family. One job.

@drspouse

What a load of man-panderers! Where are your spines, women? He can buy his own kids eggs. It is not a job requiring a cervix.

Not man-panderers, people who don’t prioritise making a point to their partner over the happiness and security of children. It’s hard to call people “child panderers” without sounding like a twat, though.

@ImInStealthMode I finally found the Regs (was annoying me not knowing) and shops over a certain size can’t open on Christmas Day, Boxing Day, Liberation Day and Good Friday. But Easter Sunday fine - so obviously Waitrose is following UK Head Office policy on closing and Co Op not. I can rest easy now.

Obviously none of this is relevant to the OP, not least because I imagine there are no eggs left in any of these shops now, if previous experience stands!

You knew on Wednesday so you could have easily bought them eggs but you chose not to

HE also knew on Wednesday and could’ve brought them Easter eggs and chose not to!

How dare OP make him look like a crap father!

So now the adults aren't speaking to one another, and the kids will have to spend Easter Sunday in a bad atmosphere. So unnecessary, for the sake of a bit of generosity and a few pounds.

I'm curious how long 'preparing Easter for our 3yo DS' could possibly take! Surely it's buy him an egg or a few little eggs, hide them in the garden. Job done?

I would have bought something for any children we were likely to see over the Easter weekend, and certainly for step-children. But having said that it does piss me off that my DP just expects that I will sort this kind of thing.

How does one go about preparing Easter for a 3 year old?

@drspouse

Having a cervix isn’t an excuse to be an arsehole. No ones denying the Dad is a deadbeat.

Ffs!

All these people bleating on about how op should have bought her step kids eggs…. Why didn’t there father (you know some one who actually parental responsibility for them) have bought them if we was so bothered.

So much internalised misogyny on this thread!!

I agree that DH needs to step up here and get his arse to Co-op (three eggs for a tenner) but I’m failing to understand if the holiday is a big deal to you, why you didn’t already have a discussion about the DSCs presents/eggs between you? Presumably if they don’t spend Xmas day with you they still get presents at a later date so why not Easter eggs?

And the fact you’ve sat on this since Wednesday is odd - why didn’t you change the party plans to include them? Even by saying to your DH something like ‘you’ll need to get some eggs’ if you felt it was down to him. It seems really mean you were happy to sit back and actively see them being excluded

Even if they’re far older and in their teens, I bet they’d still have enjoyed a EE hunt

Surely even if they weren’t coming on the actual day, they would have had eggs from their father?

Yes he should have done it but I think you are a bit petty not to get a couple of eggs when you bought the ones for your child. You are both being unreasonable.

I bought eggs for my own son and my stepson at the same time. Stepson isn’t here today but will have his when he comes over tomorrow.

I think yabu when you marry a man children then you should take on the kids. The fact that you bought your nieces eggs but not your stepchildren is sad. Surely they'd have expected eggs when they came on their scheduled visit anyway?

I would have bought theirs at the same time, or at least I would have reminded him.

[quote Constantcrayfish]@ImInStealthMode I finally found the Regs (was annoying me not knowing) and shops over a certain size can’t open on Christmas Day, Boxing Day, Liberation Day and Good Friday. But Easter Sunday fine - so obviously Waitrose is following UK Head Office policy on closing and Co Op not. I can rest easy now.

Obviously none of this is relevant to the OP, not least because I imagine there are no eggs left in any of these shops now, if previous experience stands![/quote]
Are you outside England? As far as I was aware shops here can open on Boxing Day and Good Friday but not on Easter Sunday. I’ve never heard of Liberation Day.

YANBU.

He's their Dad. It should have been on his radar to at least check you had bought one if that's his excuse.

He assumed you bought one, it sounds this isn't the first instance of this happening.

You’ve done lovely things for your DC. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t plan something to include the DSC too, they’re your DC’s siblings.

Last minute changes of plans are red herrings, surely you would plan to get them an Easter treat or egg or something, regardless of which day you would see them.

However this does not absolve DH’s responsibility, he should have ensured there was something for each of his children.

You are BOTH being extremely unreasonable, your poor DSC.

For the sake of those children, why are the parents getting an agreed care arrangement - through the court if necessary - so both parents know exactly when their caring days begin and end and all the last minute messing around is avoided altogether.

It sounds hellish disorganised and as previously stated it's always the children who are negatively impacted.

@LuckySantangelo35 both the OP and her husband have let the kids down, only one of them had to be half decent in this situation and neither were