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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend asked me to do a lateral flow before I met her today ....cheeky?

131 replies

reeedleed · 16/04/2022 20:56

I have zero covid symptoms
I've had all 3 jabs she's had none
She doesn't believe in using anti bac /hand gel (fair enough )
Yet she had the audacity to ask me to do a lateral flow?
Aibu to think it's cheeky ?

OP posts:
Ohmygoshyoudontsay · 16/04/2022 22:19

If a friend of mine said I had to test in order to meet them I just wouldn't meet them.

Moser85 · 16/04/2022 22:26

Maybe she has some plans coming up that she can't/doesn't want to miss so she's just being careful at the moment

Hbh17 · 16/04/2022 22:28

Well, we all know hand sanitiser is just "hygiene theatre", & pointless.
But as your friend is clearly being ridiculous with her request, then maybe it's time to rethink the friendship......

ChristmasCurry · 16/04/2022 22:30

Tell her to eff off.

Ikeptgoing · 16/04/2022 22:34

If your friend has chosen not to have vaccines (not for health reasons/ can't have them) and is fit and healthy herself , then she has a damn cheek insisting you LFT test before seeing her, as they are not free tests now. Since She hasn't taken precautions to protect herself.

I Bet she isn't LFT testing before she sees other people and she presents a risk to others having not vaccinated .

So YANBU - your friend is BU

crackingreward · 16/04/2022 22:38

@Ikeptgoing

If your friend has chosen not to have vaccines (not for health reasons/ can't have them) and is fit and healthy herself , then she has a damn cheek insisting you LFT test before seeing her, as they are not free tests now. Since She hasn't taken precautions to protect herself.

I Bet she isn't LFT testing before she sees other people and she presents a risk to others having not vaccinated .

So YANBU - your friend is BU

Why has she got a damn cheek? People can be unvaccinated but still cautious.

As for the cost thing, OP hasn't said which country they are in, and if cost was the issue I'm quite sure OP would have mentioned it in the OP

wonkygorgeous · 16/04/2022 22:38

I gave covid to people last week. I'm triple jabbed and wear a mask inside public places.

I was completely asymptomatic for the two days before I tested (positive).

The only reason I know I was contagious earlier was I passed it on to a vulnerable elderly person who had only seen me as she doesn't go out.

So I think if your friend has any concerns, maybe she will be seeing vulnerable people n her week, I don't think she's unreasonable to ask.

I only tested because I had a bit of a tickley cough for about an hour one evening. That was the only clue on what would have been day three.

You really cannot tell if you have Omicron.

crackingreward · 16/04/2022 22:42

Also you could argue that she is taking steps to protect herself but asking you to do LFT.

Fozzleyplum · 16/04/2022 22:47

If she's stupid enough to be unvaccinated by choice, she should be the one doing the test out of consideration for you, given that she's more likely to have covid if she has been exposed to it.

I would be irritated by her request, but I would give an antivaxxer a wide berth anyway.

Cocomarine · 16/04/2022 22:52

I would do it.
A Covid denier, I’d tell to fuck off. Any mention of 5G and we wouldn’t be meeting in the first place.
But a genuine distrust of the vaccine? I don’t agree with her, but I’d see that as a reasonable stance. So I’d do the test.

loves2plan · 16/04/2022 22:53

YANBU

Mariposista · 16/04/2022 23:04

Drop her like a hot brick. Stupid girl.

cookiemonster2468 · 16/04/2022 23:26

Of course it's not unreasonable or cheeky to ask someone to check if they have an infectious disease that a huge number of people in the country are currently walking around with, before meeting up.

If you don't want to do it then just say no/ don't meet her.

Don't understand why this is such an issue.

Justkidding55 · 17/04/2022 00:56

I work in a private hospital and can’t afford time off. Maybe she’s the same? I don’t think it’s cheeky

Gooseberrypies · 17/04/2022 01:24

I think it is cheeky since they’re not free now.

HELLITHURT · 17/04/2022 03:57

@Justkidding55

I work in a private hospital and can’t afford time off. Maybe she’s the same? I don’t think it’s cheeky
Are you vaccinated?
TigerLilyTail · 17/04/2022 04:27

@BritWifeInUSA

What hood would anti-bac hand gel do against a virus? I don’t see the relevance of mentioning that she won’t/doesn’t use anti-bac.
She means hand sanitizer and it has been found to work against COVID.

I actually wouldn't go. My mum was supposed to have lunch with her brother this week and he came down with COVID and has been really unwell with it.The LFTs aren't so accurate.

Sswhinesthebest · 17/04/2022 04:36

@comealongponds

she can’t be that bothered if she refuses the most basic measures to protect herself, so YANBU

(If she was genuinely concerned and had done everything possible to protect herself it wouldn’t be unreasonable to ask you to do a LFT though(

Exactly!

I was going to say not cheeky, but it bloody is if she expects everyone else to protect her, but she won’t protect herself,

Veol · 17/04/2022 05:30

For every group meet-up that I have done in the past year or so, someone has requested that everyone does a lateral flow test. No one has ever objected but when we have got to the meet-up the majority have ‘forgotten’ to do one. I find it irritating to be asked, unless there is a very good reason, but I have always done one. So, from my limited experience, people do seem to find it a bit cheeky.

Hopingforabagofbuttons · 17/04/2022 05:44

She doesn’t trust the vax, and doesn’t use hand sanitizer but wants you to do a LFT before you meet her ?
Absolutely no way would I be pandering to this crap I’d not go to meet up and I’d tell her why. I can’t hack people like this.

Winkydink · 17/04/2022 06:11

Well I was all ready to say she’s not cheeky, it’s completely reasonable as it’s a nasty virus. If there was a way of checking if friends kids were incubating norovirus I’d insist on it before every play date.

But…if she’s chosen not to be vaccinated because she doesn’t “trust” them then yes, it’s cheeky and she’s not very bright. Working in the healthcare system, and with the scientists who developed the vaccines, I’ve run out of patience with people who don’t “trust” them (I know that’s not a politic or polite way of expressing my views but there you go).

UnsuitableHat · 17/04/2022 06:42

I’d do that if someone asked me to, and have done. I’d prefer it to them being all twitchy around me as if I might be a walking ball of infection. Then again I still have quite a few test kits and appreciate they’re not free now. Alternative is not to see the person I guess.

Tulipomania · 17/04/2022 07:02

I'm still doing LFTs regularly if I have to meet people who are vulnerable, and wouldn't mind being asked.

But someone who hasn't been jabbed can FRO.

LovePoppy · 17/04/2022 07:03

My oldest tested positive with zero indication she had it.

What’s your issue

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 17/04/2022 07:09

She should do the LFT before seeing you. Seriously. She’s more likely to be infected, and pass it on, than you are.