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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you date someone with missing teeth?

258 replies

Claddinghell · 16/04/2022 20:07

Went on a date with a really nice guy. Ticked boxes and was attracted to him. However he had teeth missing. His top front tooth and few teeth towards the front. Very noticeable, but the cresting his teeth were white a like after. His pictures online had no pictures showing his teeth.

I told him a story of a tooth abscess during lockdown 1 when everything was closed. Told him that I had to get massive repair when everything opened. Thought this might provoke a conversation on his teeth. Sort of I had an accident they are getting fixed. But nothing.

My teeth are not the best and I do have a back tooth missing due to injury with a cherry pip and failed root canal.

Wouid you continue to date. It’s really noticeable

OP posts:
80swerethebest · 16/04/2022 22:30

@SucculentChalice

80swerethebest Each to their own and all that but when a male mentions a negative aspect of a females appearance they are labelled shallow misogynists yet men are fair game apparently.

Thats because women get negative comments about their appearance all the time and are judged heavily upon it. Yet as soon as they dare present a physical preference themselves, they are hauled over the coals because they are supposed to be open to dating anyone.

I just hope these same vacuous souls don't complain when males make similar comments about weight etc

I get negative comments about my appearance all the time. FWIW I think its because people think I can handle it - I used to do sports modelling but overall I'm pretty unremarkable looking really - size 10, 5 feet 9, long hair. I get told I'm "too tall" (for what exactly is unclear), to get a haircut, told I'm too chunky yet the next day I'll be told I'm too thin, told that I must have long legs no actually I have a long body but short legs, etc etc. Its never ending. When I tried internet dating, I was told that I would cheat because I'd been a model and one guy told me I was "too good looking and too intelligent" for him as he dumped me after our fourth date.

Whereas in my career (not modelling, the one I had to spend years qualifying in and building up my practice), I became conscious of how my choice of boyfriend could impact upon my reputation when an ex cheated on me with both a colleague and a friend, and word got round before I knew anything about it. Its a small world.

So, not vacuous, just careful to protect what I've spent my life working for in the best way I know how. That is not to say that there might not be some gem of a man out there with missing frontal teeth whose charm, wit and confidence might not overcome his lack of incisors, but given the OP's description, it seems a tad unlikely in this scenario.

Women are allowed to have physical preferences for males providing males that do likewise aren't labelled as shallow which is a common theme I see when recriprocated particularly on forums etc.

Your comment of " there might not be some gem of a man out there with missing frontal teeth whose charm, wit and confidence might not overcome his lack of incisors" could apply to you in x number of years with a male describing your age/ weight delete whatever " negative flaw there is so be careful in your condemnation of others as you may be in a similar boat fairly soon yourself with what you deem to be an unattractive quality.

Weight gain for eg in the vast majority of people is down to eating too much and moving too little yet if a male poster started asking if it was wise to date an overweight female, the thread would be pulled quicker than a rat up a drain pipe so lets have fairness across the board. There are many people with missing teeth in their teenage years/ early 20s who aren't drug users/ alcoholics but just blessed with poor genetics. Let's hope as you age you don't get any unttractive qualities yourself incase a male believes it may be " bad for his professional career " to be seen with you

Longdistance · 16/04/2022 22:31

I have teeth 4 and 5 on the bottom right missing. Actually, I never had them in the first place. You can’t really see them, unless I’m laughing my head off and you happen to clap eyes on my big gob 😂
It’s hereditary, as my dm and db both have this missing.

FAQs · 16/04/2022 22:34

I’ve got 6 broken teeth, at the sides so only really noticeable if I laugh, so I try not to meet people and if I do I try not to laugh, I’ve also broken 3 bones recently. It’ll cost me £15k for treatment, if I’m suitable. I brush my teeth a min of two times a day, it just seems how I am. But I wouldn’t date because I know I’ll be judged.

SenoraMiasma · 16/04/2022 22:34

What about someone with dentures?

FeedMeSantiago · 16/04/2022 22:35

My mum lost her two front teeth in an accident as a child. She got crowns for free when pregnant with me but couldn't afford to replace them. They came out when I was in my late 20s - she had so many abscesses she had to have the crowns removed. You're supposed to replace them more regularly than 28 years but she couldn't afford to.

She can't afford new ones, she has some kind of denture things she wears out and about but she has to remove them to eat.

She was bullied horribly at school due to her teeth.

Not everyone can afford them and not everyone can have them - my dad has a missing tooth but can't have a new one due to a rare genetic disorder which affects his gums.

alittlefickle · 16/04/2022 22:36

My ex had full dentures!
Never bothered me.

He wouldn't have ever told me, but, he was going into have emergency surgery and they asked him in front of me if he had dentures and he couldn't lie .....

Didn't think any less of him. Still loved him... Plus his teeth looked amazing!

Hallyup83 · 16/04/2022 22:39

How utterly shallow of some of you. Unless you know the reason why they've not got a tooth, you have no right to judge. Poor dental hygiene might be a turn off, but people with good dental hygiene can still have teeth missing, and may not be able to afford, or may be uncomfortable with dentures or implants.

My daughter was born without one of her front teeth, and it's unlikely she has an adult tooth there. Fortunately, she's only four and is oblivious to what some ignorant adults think of her.

Aquamarine1029 · 16/04/2022 22:40

@SenoraMiasma

What about someone with dentures?
That wouldn't bother me at all. Prominent missing teeth or gross, rotting teeth are the deal breaker.
LetitiaLeghorn · 16/04/2022 22:45

@Mossstitch

You can't get implants on the NHS and each tooth is £2,500😬
And that's if you have good bone density. If you don't, you've got to have a bone graft which can cost up to another £2,500. If you have 4 teeth missing that's £20,000 minimum. Very expensive business teeth.
Owwlie · 16/04/2022 22:53

DH has a tooth missing (a canine one). He knocked it out years ago and had a false one. DD has since knocked the false one out twice. The first time it was covered by his works dental plan and the second he hasn’t bothered to get it done, it doesn’t bother me and I don’t notice it (although it isn’t at the front, only noticeable if he really laughs). But as DDs only 4 and she’s knocked it out twice already, and she’s the first of 3 DC, it seems a waste of time to keep redoing it.

Bagelsandbrie · 16/04/2022 22:54

Some really ignorant comments here.

Up until about 4 years ago I had perfect teeth. Like really perfect to the point people would comment on how nice they were etc. Then I developed lupus and sjorgens - one of the issues with sjorgens is a severe lack of saliva and mouth issues. All my gums are now seriously receding now and my two front teeth have chipped really badly along the bottom edge. Because of medication I take my teeth are badly stained (I’m under an oral specialist and they can remove the staining but it just returns and my teeth become weaker with every stain removal).

I have osteoporosis at 41 caused by the steroids I take for lupus. I take medication for this but my teeth are still awful and I can’t afford implants / veneers and even if I could my bone issues and lupus etc means they would barely last the amount of time they’re supposed to.

I hate my teeth now. And I feel people judge me for them when it really isn’t my fault. I have brilliant dental hygiene, just very little money and a load of health issues!!

Piglet89 · 16/04/2022 22:58

I am missing my UL6 tooth. All the folk saying you can get implants; yeah but they’re super expensive! I also didn’t want one because of risk of puncturing my sinus which is super near the top of my teeth roots.

So I have a gap and a little denture instead. A fair bit of ignorance on this thread about tooth loss.

WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia · 16/04/2022 22:58

Wonder why op hasn't come back 🤔

Piglet89 · 16/04/2022 22:59

@Bagelsandbrie I’m sorry to hear of your travails. Teeth issues are such a pain.

SucculentChalice · 16/04/2022 23:03

80swerethebest Women are allowed to have physical preferences for males providing males that do likewise aren't labelled as shallow which is a common theme I see when recriprocated particularly on forums etc.

Thats great to hear that women are allowed to have such preferences. I'd dread to think what would happen to them if they weren't. I have no idea why you personally are obsessed with forums. Perhaps you should come off them if you causes you so much distress.

Can I just establish that we are discussing human males and females here and not some other species, e.g. rabbits, deer?

Your comment of " there might not be some gem of a man out there with missing frontal teeth whose charm, wit and confidence might not overcome his lack of incisors" could apply to you in x number of years with a male describing your age/ weight delete whatever " negative flaw there is so be careful in your condemnation of others as you may be in a similar boat fairly soon yourself with what you deem to be an unattractive quality.

Indeed it almost certainly will, despite my generally genetically age defying inheritance, there will come a time when I don't a flying F what a man thinks about me. That moment is precisely 25 seconds from now. Believe it or not, there are many women who do not even live in fear of being single at some point in their lives possibly following widowhood!!

You've reminded me however that my other seemingly shallow hatred of a trait in males of any species (and I do not discriminate here against the non-mammalian) is their tendency to forego punctuation in paragraphs.

Weight gain for eg in the vast majority of people is down to eating too much and moving too little yet if a male poster started asking if it was wise to date an overweight female, the thread would be pulled quicker than a rat up a drain pipe so lets have fairness across the board. There are many people with missing teeth in their teenage years/ early 20s who aren't drug users/ alcoholics but just blessed with poor genetics. Let's hope as you age you don't get any unttractive qualities yourself incase a male believes it may be " bad for his professional career " to be seen with you

Well then, its lucky that I don't want to attract any more males, human or otherwise, isn't it? I mean goodness me, how can I have got through life thus far without such pearls of wisdom?

Thank goodness I've chosen well, not just a man with a reasonably full compliment of teeth but one who doesn't patronisingly attempt to lecture me and gets it all wrong, eh?

XenoBitch · 16/04/2022 23:06

Blimey, this site is utter trash sometime. Seems there are many boxes, that if ticked, renders you totally un-datable, and you are destined to be single until the day you die.
Said boxes are missing teeth (even though there are many reasons for this), a low paid job, being on benefits, and mental health issues.

My teeth are a decent shade and in good nick. But I have not much bone underneath them, and at some point I will need at least one prominent front one removed or face heart issues. To be honest, I would rather face heart issues than the shaming you see encouraged on this site.

MurmuratingStarling · 16/04/2022 23:07

No. Someone who doesn't look after their teeth is really off-putting to me. Suggests to me they are sloppy and lacklustre in other parts of their life (like a man who has never been arsed to learn to drive. Total dealbreaker.) Decent teeth are essential and a dealbreaker for me. Awful/missing teeth would definitely put me off. It's physically very unappealing too to see missing teeth (on anyone under 60-65 anyway!)

Chely · 16/04/2022 23:09

Having perfect teeth is not essential but missing ones at the front would put me off a bit.
I had a lot of work done to fix my teeth which was not cheap and most was done via an NHS dentist, would have struggled to afford some of my crowns if I'd had to pay privately.

Chely · 16/04/2022 23:11

Oh and my teeth were bad due to having rubella as a baby, weakened the enamel.

Bagelsandbrie · 16/04/2022 23:13

[quote Piglet89]@Bagelsandbrie I’m sorry to hear of your travails. Teeth issues are such a pain.[/quote]
Thank you Flowers

MrsMangelsPortrait · 16/04/2022 23:23

No I just couldn't. I mean, if I otherwise really fancied him and he'd just happened to have had one knocked out in an accident and was awaiting an implant I probably could, but I'm shallow and i imagine that it would be quite an ick at such an early stage.

If it was due to personal neglect, whether diet, hygiene or both, certainly not.

Flopsy145 · 16/04/2022 23:24

If it was a back tooth or a side tooth I would but probably not front ones. My OH will probably have a canine out in a few years as it's nerves are dead and it's greying from years of professional fighting, but I obviously won't care about this. But I think it's different when you don't know someone, it depends if you still find him attractive really with the teeth situation?

80swerethebest · 16/04/2022 23:26

@SucculentChalice

80swerethebest Women are allowed to have physical preferences for males providing males that do likewise aren't labelled as shallow which is a common theme I see when recriprocated particularly on forums etc.

Thats great to hear that women are allowed to have such preferences. I'd dread to think what would happen to them if they weren't. I have no idea why you personally are obsessed with forums. Perhaps you should come off them if you causes you so much distress.

Can I just establish that we are discussing human males and females here and not some other species, e.g. rabbits, deer?

Your comment of " there might not be some gem of a man out there with missing frontal teeth whose charm, wit and confidence might not overcome his lack of incisors" could apply to you in x number of years with a male describing your age/ weight delete whatever " negative flaw there is so be careful in your condemnation of others as you may be in a similar boat fairly soon yourself with what you deem to be an unattractive quality.

Indeed it almost certainly will, despite my generally genetically age defying inheritance, there will come a time when I don't a flying F what a man thinks about me. That moment is precisely 25 seconds from now. Believe it or not, there are many women who do not even live in fear of being single at some point in their lives possibly following widowhood!!

You've reminded me however that my other seemingly shallow hatred of a trait in males of any species (and I do not discriminate here against the non-mammalian) is their tendency to forego punctuation in paragraphs.

Weight gain for eg in the vast majority of people is down to eating too much and moving too little yet if a male poster started asking if it was wise to date an overweight female, the thread would be pulled quicker than a rat up a drain pipe so lets have fairness across the board. There are many people with missing teeth in their teenage years/ early 20s who aren't drug users/ alcoholics but just blessed with poor genetics. Let's hope as you age you don't get any unttractive qualities yourself incase a male believes it may be " bad for his professional career " to be seen with you

Well then, its lucky that I don't want to attract any more males, human or otherwise, isn't it? I mean goodness me, how can I have got through life thus far without such pearls of wisdom?

Thank goodness I've chosen well, not just a man with a reasonably full compliment of teeth but one who doesn't patronisingly attempt to lecture me and gets it all wrong, eh?

Calling out the superficial rubbish you write doesn't mean I'm " distressed" now does it?

As for your comment of not wishing to attract any other males, barring the obvious, I can't imagine any man wishing to spend the rest of their days with such a pompous, judgemental waste of space that has utter delusions of grandeur like your goodself. I'm still laughing at your " it may reflect poorly on your profession" line implying if your partner had no teeth/ poor teeth what would the community say.... not all of us are peering through net curtains all day. You sound so far ensconced up your own backside with self importance, you would struggle to find your way out without a flashlight tbh.

UniEntry2019 · 16/04/2022 23:27

@GivenchyDahhling

Absolutely not. Total dealbreaker. You can get implants everywhere now for a few grand so no excuses.
Few grand ! Shock
80swerethebest · 16/04/2022 23:27

@XenoBitch

Blimey, this site is utter trash sometime. Seems there are many boxes, that if ticked, renders you totally un-datable, and you are destined to be single until the day you die. Said boxes are missing teeth (even though there are many reasons for this), a low paid job, being on benefits, and mental health issues.

My teeth are a decent shade and in good nick. But I have not much bone underneath them, and at some point I will need at least one prominent front one removed or face heart issues. To be honest, I would rather face heart issues than the shaming you see encouraged on this site.

Indeed, some of the requirements sound more like a job interview than normal dating from people here.
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