Woman took pic of my DD on the bus today😂

[babyhaha]

So I had a miserable start to the day today.
I’m 38 weeks pregnant and will be having my C section on Tuesday. I booked a restaurant for DD, DP and I so we can have one last meal just the three of us before our newborn arrives. Whilst we were on the bus, the driver announced that the bus had to terminate as Westminster Bridge was closed because of protests. So here I was with the worst PGP known to man having to walk from Lambeth North all the way to the other side of the bridge.

Anyways! We were finally able to get on a bus and when I got on, I parked the pushchair in the wheelchair space and sat next to an older lady who was already sitting down. I noticed she was on her phone and then suddenly she put her phone up as if to take a picture. I looked at her phone to make sure it was facing her and not my DD but my surprise, she had put it facing DD and had actually taken a picture of her! (DP was also in it)

I said to her, ‘excuse me, why did you just take a picture of my child, delete that.’ She said ‘oh she’s just so cute,’ I said, ‘you can’t just take pictures of kids you don’t know without asking, you need to delete that.’ She deleted it with no hesitation and then I asked her to go into her recently deleted and delete it from there too. She didn’t know how to do that so she let me show her. She then replied ‘thank you, I respect your decision’ ???

It was such a bizzare but funny situation to be in. When I think back, I keep laughing because it just felt like a surreal moment! The last time I caught someone taking a picture of my DD, he was so embarrassed I caught him and was stuttering trying to give an explanation as to why. This woman’s reaction is so different to that and it’s making me chuckle. It’s also making me think how normal this could be? Do you ever see a cute baby and just take a picture of them without asking their parents? Has anything like this happened to you before?

And before anyone starts, this isn’t a case of PFB. I would have said the same if someone took a pic of my 14 year old sister, another family member or even a friend. You can’t just go taking pictures of people you don’t know because you want too!

You obviously can in physical terms, which rather implied that you were stating that you can't do it in legal terms. No it didn’t imply that. That’s what you incorrectly interpreted from what I said. I never suggested you can’t take pictures of people in legal terms. I merely meant that you can’t go whipping your phone out and putting it in people’s faces as if that’s okay. Obviously there’s no law against it but I never mentioned anything about the law so you created that narrative yourself. Bizzare

You really are tying yourself in knots trying to justify your own behaviour, OP. Probably better to stop digging that hole.

Have experienced tourists taking photos of my dog before - both with and without asking for permission! Not really sure what that was about but didn’t really seem like a big deal at the time. Bizarre but not problematic though I guess it’s a bit different with a child.

Obvious answer is that your DD is just so uncommonly gorgeous and cute that she is therefore worthy of a photo!

Was DD doing anything or posing in a way that could have been used as a meme? Maybe she saw the potential to go viral?

Odd thing to happen but probably harmless as it sounds like you dealt with it really well. Hoping that someone will come on here and say “oh yes, I photograph random children for so and so reason” and shed some light!

Yet another one of these threads:

OP: long rambling post about nothing at all, saying something perfectly normal is bizarre
A few early posters: yes, you are right
More sane posters: no, it's not bizarre, it's something which has been done since cameras were invented
OP (who knows nothing about photography): no, no, you are all wrong and I am right

@MurmuratingStarling

I don't get the LOLing with 'tears rolling down my cheeks' emoji.

There is nothing remotely funny about what she did. Why the light-hearted tone to this thread? I'd have gone fucking loco if anyone had done that when mine were little.

Don’t ever take dc to China, then. My 3 ds must be on a thousand camera rolls, but they’re all now adults, and fine!

I’m interested to know what harm is likely to be done by a random person taking an anonymous photo of a stranger? It’s almost as primitive as thinking that a camera can capture your spirit.

@ZerotwoZero

Honestly OP your starting to sound a bit unhinged now, you cannot stop people taking photos on public even if they are of you or your family. I actually feel sorry for the older woman having to come across some one like yourself, you appear to have to come on here to gloat about how you treated her for a seemingly innocent photo, even if you did not appreciate it.

@ZerotwoZero I’m gloating about how I treated her? And how did I treat her, by asking her to delete the photo she took of my child? Someone was on here saying they would have gone ‘fucking loco’ but you feel sorry for her having to come across someone like me? You would have thought I took her phone and threw it out the window but ok then

@EliyanahM a ‘neurotic control freak mum,’ wow really? MN is a crazy place where people feel comfortable insulting other people simply because they’re behind a screen!

If I’m a neurotic control freak mum for speaking up about something that made me uncomfortable and had to do with my daughter then so be it. This thread went from ‘what’s funny, something sinister could have been behind it’ to ‘you’re a control freak mum for asking a stranger to delete a picture of your baby.’

No one was suggesting she was a female paedophile but seeing as you know so much about her, why don’t you tell me whether she was or not? Sorry I forgot, you don’t actually know anything about her to do. As I said before, I never thought anything sinister was going on and genuinely believe she took the picture because she thought my DD was cute. Even if I did suspect something sinister behind it, how are you going to tell me there wasn’t when you wasn’t even there?

@OhGingleBells

Have experienced tourists taking photos of my dog before - both with and without asking for permission! Not really sure what that was about but didn’t really seem like a big deal at the time. Bizarre but not problematic though I guess it’s a bit different with a child.

Obvious answer is that your DD is just so uncommonly gorgeous and cute that she is therefore worthy of a photo!

Was DD doing anything or posing in a way that could have been used as a meme? Maybe she saw the potential to go viral?

Odd thing to happen but probably harmless as it sounds like you dealt with it really well. Hoping that someone will come on here and say “oh yes, I photograph random children for so and so reason” and shed some light!

@OhGingleBells haha nope DD wasn’t doing anything special at all. I had just done her hair before we went outside so maybe that’s what was getting people’s attention as she got quite a few compliments recently!

@SquirrelG

Yet another one of these threads:

OP: long rambling post about nothing at all, saying something perfectly normal is bizarre
A few early posters: yes, you are right
More sane posters: no, it's not bizarre, it's something which has been done since cameras were invented
OP (who knows nothing about photography): no, no, you are all wrong and I am right

@SquirrelG if it’s normal to get your phone out and take a picture of a baby that you do not know without asking (just because it’s not illegal) then I wouldn’t want to live in your world. You seem to struggle to understand that just because a group of people are okay with something that has to do with MY baby, that doesn’t mean I will be. But hey I know nothing about photography so what do I know

After being called unhinged and a neurotic control freak mum, I think I’ll leave it there.

Thank you for all the comments giving similar stories like what the OP actually asked for! First a man took a picture of my baby and now someone else. At this point, I’m sure it’ll happen again and I should probably expect the same when my second comes along haha

I was once stopped when out with my boyfriend by a Japanese tourist...she asked my bf to take a photo of her with me like I was some sort of celebrity

Have had a few tourists take photos of my boys before too, always been asked mind.

You can confront anyone and ask them to do something like delete a photo but it’s important on a thread like this to make people aware that it’s not illegal to take (non indecent) photos of babies, adults, children in public spaces AND they can post those photos to the internet / broadcast them / share them in emails etc as long as not for commercial gain - and then sometimes in some circa that’s alright too.

On a bus if you ask someone to delete a photo on their phone you have no legal standing of they turn around and say no, you have no legal recourse and will be in trouble if you try to force the issue.

This story has just reminded me of the day my best friend and I took our (then) three year old tow-haired toddlers to a theme park with an age-appropriate themed area and a mini farm. A bus-load Korean tourists all asked if they could take photos of the three little white-haired kiddos in front of the animals. The kids were perfectly happy with it and the tourist were lovely and polite, so we didn’t mind at all. Later that day, we were followed around by a middle-aged bloke with a long-range camera who gave us distinctly creepy vibes and we spoke to security who had him delete everything from his memory card and removed him from the site. (Hate to think!!!) *We are in Aus and I think it might be illegal to take photos of kids without permission.

If someone took a photo of me, I would certainly be questioning why
Don't go to Asia! I'm in hundreds or thousands of family snaps across different countries, though I can tell you why - blonde hair and white skin is interesting when you're off the beaten track a bit. I did learn not to let the teenage boys take photos in Indonesia after hearing some very dodgy comments (learning a language does not always bring joy), but really enjoyed having toddlers stuffed in my arms for the big family group shots in India.

Yeah - I went to Vietnam in the late 90’s, before it was the huge tourist destination it is now. I had people crossing the road to touch my blonde hair for luck. They were trying to separate me and my now ex bf as he had red hair, which was considered to be proof that he was a devil. (Turns out they were right - he’s long gone!)

Personally I think it should be illegal to make someone the subject of a photograph and retain the image without their permission. Its a gross infringement of privacy and your image is personal data, so with the very strict DP laws in place, I don't understand how this falls through the net. But accept that it does. I fully understand why the OP objected.
However I do think some perspective is needed in terms of how images are likely to be used. Those implying it irresponsible or remiss that the OP took a light hearted approach should bare in mind that the chances of a woman in her early 50s wanting the picture for sexual reasons (because that's what we mean by nefarious isn't it?) are vanishingly small. In fact the chances of anyone who is open about it wanting a picture of a child for that reason are very low, given the number of non paedophiles vastly outnumbers those that are. And sadly there are millions of images far more titillating for those who seek them.
I'm not saying it can't happen, but nor does it happen with such frequency that every eccentric stranger should be seen as an object of fear.
The threat to children is far higher when they are alone with known adult males, not on a bus with both parents present and a strange woman openly taking their photograph.

This is really odd. I've never taken a photo of a strangers child or pet or someone I didnt know

Slightly different but we were in Malaysia a few years ago. Looked round to speak with husband and he wasn’t there, he was having his photo taken by locals I assume as some oddity as he was taller than them (only six foot) and has quite a string nose. Also had a lovely group of Thai ladies taking a photo of my daughter on holiday with them in a group I assume again as she just looked different to them, blonde and pale. I assumed no nefarious intent, but on a bus in the uk and covertly err no.

Strong nose, he’s not that special!

It was the bit where OP insisted that the woman remove the picture from her “recently deleted” folder and, when she said she had no idea how to do that, taking her phone and showing her, that tipped the whole story over into bonkers neuroticism for me.

I think you do sound rude. because I don’t want a complete stranger taking a picture of my child… especially as they haven’t even asked. My response wasn’t OTT and there was nothing rude about it. Just ordering her to , "Delete that" is rude. You could have asked her to remove it and said something like, "Sorry I don't like people taking her photo, could you delete it for me."

She sounds polite but you don't.

ancientgran

If woman on bus was polite, she’d have asked before taking a photo of another persons child.

Weird!!

You see a cute baby and you tell the parents aww your baby is so cute but never ever take a bloody photo!!

But I bet you post pictures of them on Facebook for the whole world to see. Not saying she was right.

@HaveringWavering

It was the bit where OP insisted that the woman remove the picture from her “recently deleted” folder and, when she said she had no idea how to do that, taking her phone and showing her, that tipped the whole story over into bonkers neuroticism for me.

@HaveringWavering you’ve literally made up your own story to fit your strange agenda. I said, ‘She deleted it with no hesitation and then I ASKED her to go into her recently deleted and delete it from there too. She didn’t know how to do that so she LET ME SHOW HER.’

When I politely ASKED her to delete it from her recently she deleted she said, ‘oh wow I didn’t even know you could do that’ and then let me show her how. I didn’t take her phone from her at all. It was a very polite conversation, I don’t know why people are trying to turn it into something it’s not

@ancientgran

I think you do sound rude. because I don’t want a complete stranger taking a picture of my child… especially as they haven’t even asked. My response wasn’t OTT and there was nothing rude about it. Just ordering her to , "Delete that" is rude. You could have asked her to remove it and said something like, "Sorry I don't like people taking her photo, could you delete it for me."

She sounds polite but you don't.

@ancientgran I don’t have to say anything to fit your narrative that makes me sound polite. As I said, it was a very chilled conversation but I’m the one that sounds rude. Not the person who’s just opened their camera and taken a picture of my child. ok