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Original poster

Woman took pic of my DD on the bus today😂

241 replies

babyhaha · 15/04/2022 19:38

So I had a miserable start to the day today.
I’m 38 weeks pregnant and will be having my C section on Tuesday. I booked a restaurant for DD, DP and I so we can have one last meal just the three of us before our newborn arrives. Whilst we were on the bus, the driver announced that the bus had to terminate as Westminster Bridge was closed because of protests. So here I was with the worst PGP known to man having to walk from Lambeth North all the way to the other side of the bridge.

Anyways! We were finally able to get on a bus and when I got on, I parked the pushchair in the wheelchair space and sat next to an older lady who was already sitting down. I noticed she was on her phone and then suddenly she put her phone up as if to take a picture. I looked at her phone to make sure it was facing her and not my DD but my surprise, she had put it facing DD and had actually taken a picture of her! (DP was also in it)

I said to her, ‘excuse me, why did you just take a picture of my child, delete that.’ She said ‘oh she’s just so cute,’ I said, ‘you can’t just take pictures of kids you don’t know without asking, you need to delete that.’ She deleted it with no hesitation and then I asked her to go into her recently deleted and delete it from there too. She didn’t know how to do that so she let me show her. She then replied ‘thank you, I respect your decision’ ???

It was such a bizzare but funny situation to be in. When I think back, I keep laughing because it just felt like a surreal moment! The last time I caught someone taking a picture of my DD, he was so embarrassed I caught him and was stuttering trying to give an explanation as to why. This woman’s reaction is so different to that and it’s making me chuckle. It’s also making me think how normal this could be? Do you ever see a cute baby and just take a picture of them without asking their parents? Has anything like this happened to you before?

And before anyone starts, this isn’t a case of PFB. I would have said the same if someone took a pic of my 14 year old sister, another family member or even a friend. You can’t just go taking pictures of people you don’t know because you want too!

OP posts:
DoggoInMyTesla · 15/04/2022 20:15

It is very odd and I can’t imagine why anyone would want to do it.

If that’s genuine then it must be lovely in a way to be you. But also quite dangerous if you have children. There’s some extremely sick people out there.

KokusnussFlips · 15/04/2022 20:15

I was in a shopping centre the other day and my son was playing on a small play area they have there. A woman came and stood next to me and was holding a camera up and it looked like my son was in her frame. I asked her not to take any photos of my son and she got offended by it. I originally thought she was another parent but it turns out she worked for the shopping centre and was taking photos to use in the promotional material. She was mightly offended that I didnt want my sons photo plastered all over their social media accounts. I think some people just dont get it.

cansu · 15/04/2022 20:15

You may not like it but it is perfectly legal.

pigalow · 15/04/2022 20:17

Isn't it legal to take photos of people if they are in public places? Thus us why CCTV is legal and (for celebrities) paparazzo photos of them walking to the shops. It's just not legal to take photos in a private house without their permission.

Original poster
babyhaha · 15/04/2022 20:18

@WingingItSince1973

I wish I had done that when my dd was little. We were at Warwick Castle with her cousin the same age, both dressed as princesses and some random woman started taking their pics. This was nearly 10 years ago and both myself and my sil didn't have the confidence to approach her and our husbands (brothers) thought we were being over the top! Chances was just a tourist seeing cute little girls dressed up in a castle but I wouldn't accept that now. Well done xx
@WingingItSince1973 you and your SIL definitely weren’t overreacting! I can get why some may struggle to say something as you may not want to come across as confrontational or be awkward. Luckily I’ve always been one to speak up so I don’t even think twice to say anything. It’s good to hear you wouldn’t stand for this now tho!
OP posts:
winterchills · 15/04/2022 20:18

Yeh that's odd behaviour! But I don't know how you have managed to catch two people taking pics of your child. Your kid must be extra cute 😄makes me wonder if people have taken pics of mine without me ever noticing!!

ageismintheuk · 15/04/2022 20:19

When my dc were about 4 they were on a roundabout ride in a city park with 2 friends from different families. It had taken some organising getting the 3 mums together and they looked really cute sitting there together so I started videoing them.

This woman with a pushchair ran up to me and began loudly remonstrating. Her son was on the ride also, his dad was behind him. I had barely even registered that there was another child there; only had eyes for mine. Also never put children pics on social media but I suppose she didn’t know that. I apologised immediately and deleted.

I understand why you were shocked and upset but I think if you haven’t grown up with something (the digital age) it’s likely to be harder to pick up the etiquette surrounding it.

Whadda · 15/04/2022 20:19

Utterly bizarre.

I have quite an unusual dog and people are constantly taking picture of her- I find that really odd, let alone a child.

Original poster
babyhaha · 15/04/2022 20:21

@5128gap

I agree with you OP, it's more amusing than sinister. For every person who would take a photograph or otherwise engage with a child for nefarious purposes, there will be several harmless, thoughtless, slightly eccentric people who just really like kids, and don't know that the world's changed. From her reaction giving you her phone, it seems she was clearly one of them. I think you handled it perfectly OP, and are plenty wise enough, given you can obviously tell the difference between something a bit odd and a genuine threat.
@5128gap thank you! I’d understand some of the comments if I came on here and said, ‘a stranger took a picture of my baby and I didn’t say anything because I found it funny.’ That’d be a completely different story but I’m more than capable of assessing risk and doing something about it. Nothing wrong with me looking back and finding her reaction bizzare but funny
OP posts:
ChristinaBlang · 15/04/2022 20:22

It is really weird to approach someone in public taking photos. I think you were lucky she was obviously intimidated by you. It is perfectly legal to take pictures in public.

ZerotwoZero · 15/04/2022 20:23

As others have said, its good to be cautious but perfectly legal. In fact once she took the initial picture the image became her intellectual property on her phone and you had no right to demand she deleted it, but that's a whole new thread I supposed.

This could be looked at two ways, she could have simply been an old woman, who was very lonely with no immediate family and may well still be upset right now or she could simply be a suspicious character. Who knows but still laughing about her and plastering it on social media does puzzle me.

I just hope it not the former and you are not the lonely old woman with no family one day.

Original poster
babyhaha · 15/04/2022 20:24

@KokusnussFlips

I was in a shopping centre the other day and my son was playing on a small play area they have there. A woman came and stood next to me and was holding a camera up and it looked like my son was in her frame. I asked her not to take any photos of my son and she got offended by it. I originally thought she was another parent but it turns out she worked for the shopping centre and was taking photos to use in the promotional material. She was mightly offended that I didnt want my sons photo plastered all over their social media accounts. I think some people just dont get it.
@KokusnussFlips that’s so strange! I thought when it’s in a professional space that they have to get consent from parents when taking pictures of parents and/or kids. Every baby group I’ve been too, we’ve been asked if pictures can be taken and we have to sign a form to confirm our consent if we’re happy for them to take pictures. You’d think she’d at least ask you🤷‍♀️
OP posts:
Latenightreader · 15/04/2022 20:27

@1Micem0use

When I taught in Asia I was on a school trip in a sort of heritage museum place. The kids were having a tea ceremony lesson in a ground floor building and other visitors were wandering around. A bunch of white American tourists walked past and started taking photos of the children. I was furious. The kids weren't part of the museum! Their parents hadnt given permission and I doubt these tourists would dream of taking photos of random American kids on a school trip.
You would be surprised! I run the education programme in a UK museum and the number of times I have had to stop members of the public taking pictures, particularly when the children have all come in costume….
Fridafever · 15/04/2022 20:29

I’ve had a few people photograph DS when he was little, all tourists I think. It didn’t really bother me!

AnotherNC22 · 15/04/2022 20:29

I'm a rainbow and brownie leader in London - when we take our girls out for daytrips, we have huge problems with tourists taking photos of the group without asking. Its such a safeguarding nightmare for the risk assesment 🤯

Original poster
babyhaha · 15/04/2022 20:29

@winterchills

Yeh that's odd behaviour! But I don't know how you have managed to catch two people taking pics of your child. Your kid must be extra cute 😄makes me wonder if people have taken pics of mine without me ever noticing!!
@winterchills haha she is extra cute but of course I’m biased! I do wonder if there’s other people that have taken pictures of her and I just haven’t realised
OP posts:
Dillydollydingdong · 15/04/2022 20:30

It happened to me once, but the other way round. I told some teenage louts to stop vandalizing the kiddies playground. They refused. I held my camera up as though to say I was taking a photo of one of the girls. One of the lads got really arsey, called me a paedo and demanded to see the photo. I did, but here wasn't one. They slunk off, still grumbling.

VyeBrator · 15/04/2022 20:31

I would love for someone to take a picture of my baby and tell me they’re not deleting it. Okay maybe there’s no law about it but how can you take a picture of a baby, get caught and then say you won’t delete it. That’s insane

Why would you 'love for someone' to do that? It wouldn't make any difference. You couldn't force them to delete it.

ChristinaBlang · 15/04/2022 20:31

@babyhaha a toddler group is not a public space though, so they would need your permission. If you are just out in public then photos can be taken.

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 15/04/2022 20:32

@DoggoInMyTesla, leave it out, save some concern for yourself.

Original poster
babyhaha · 15/04/2022 20:33

@ZerotwoZero

As others have said, its good to be cautious but perfectly legal. In fact once she took the initial picture the image became her intellectual property on her phone and you had no right to demand she deleted it, but that's a whole new thread I supposed.

This could be looked at two ways, she could have simply been an old woman, who was very lonely with no immediate family and may well still be upset right now or she could simply be a suspicious character. Who knows but still laughing about her and plastering it on social media does puzzle me.

I just hope it not the former and you are not the lonely old woman with no family one day.

@ZerotwoZero

In fact once she took the initial picture the image became her intellectual property on her phone and you had no right to demand she deleted it, but that's a whole new thread I supposed.

Sorry but I genuinely couldn’t care less. Even now that I know that, I’d still ask the next person to delete the picture of my child.

*This could be looked at two ways, she could have simply been an old woman, who was very lonely with no immediate family and may well still be upset right now or she could simply be a suspicious character. Who knows but still laughing about her and plastering it on social media does puzzle me.

I just hope it not the former and you are not the lonely old woman with no family one day.*

Again, that’s not my business. She could be an old woman with no family and sorry to her but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to take a picture of my child and keep it in her phone🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Benjispruce4 · 15/04/2022 20:33

I couldn’t be that bothered about that OP.

oakleaffy · 15/04/2022 20:33

@SnackSizeRaisin

Because I don't think people used to worry so much years ago, before the internet.

But years ago you wouldn't have a camera with you on a bus ride. You would have a camera only on holidays and days out and a 24 photo film would last a month.

This is a very valid point. Cameras , rolls of film and processing took time and money, very different to today's instantaneous images. It is odd for a stranger to be taking pics of a child without asking.. Why would they even want that image? In Paris, there were two little children playing with sugar cane in a doorway. I'd have loved to have had an image of them, but wouldn't have photographed them as would have been invasive and cheeky.
Antarcticant · 15/04/2022 20:35

I thought when it’s in a professional space that they have to get consent from parents when taking pictures of parents and/or kids.

A baby club, school etc. has to make its own rules about photography on its premises - there's no law that will do that for them. A bus company would similarly have to make its own rule - a condition of carriage - to ban photography on its buses.

BertieBotts · 15/04/2022 20:35

She deleted it with no hesitation and then I asked her to go into her recently deleted and delete it from there too. She didn’t know how to do that so she let me show her. She then replied ‘thank you, I respect your decision’ ???

This is EXACTLY what my mum would do/say if you confronted her over something like this. I have no idea if she would take a photo in the first place (I would hope not...) but I also notice other people in her generation e.g. friend's mothers/MILs repost pictures of their grandchildren constantly all over FB or post pictures that they often have already or share their (child/child-in-law's) post about the grandchildren, in a way that people in my generation don't do any more with their own kids.

I don't think it feels the same to them as it feels to us - they haven't had camera phones for as long (most of us got them as soon as they were available whereas my mum had a brick phone + separate digital camera until smartphones became the absolute default) and I think they see it as a private thing and don't necessarily realise the way that younger people see image sharing as being public.

And before somebody jumps on me I'm sure there are members of that generation who are internet savvy and completely understand privacy concerns and have had smartphones since 2010 but there are also a lot who are later adopters, and it doesn't hurt to come to something from a point of understanding rather than judgement.

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