To think I just wouldn’t fit in at NCT classes?

[Tulipsanddaffs06]

First time mum, 24 weeks pregnant. I feel a little lonely tbh as none of my friends are pregnant and I’d like to meet some other pregnant women due around the same time as me is poss.

Thing is, I don’t want to breastfeed (please can we not make that the main focus of this post!) due to the shape of my uterus it’s also looking like I might have to have a c-section too.

So I’m not really sure what DH and I would really get out of NCT classes other than meeting parents to be at a similar stage?

I’m worried I’ll be judged massively for not breastfeeding, I’ve heard they can be a bit cult like in how they push breast feeding.

Has anyone been to NCT classes and knew they weren’t going to breast feed? Did you get an okay reception or no?

I did NCT and know at least 3 of the Mum's didn't breastfeed. I mainly went to make new friends as I'd just moved to the area. I became good friends with 2 Mums and am still friends with them 11 years later and our girls are more like cousins now, they're very close. It was lovely to have someone going through it all at the same stages too.
I'd say give it a go you might enjoy it. Good luck with it all

In my personal experience, nct is extremely pro bfeeding and its like there is no other option! When we had all had our babies and had the 8week reunion, i was the only one not bfeeding and felt like a failure honestly. I dont talk to any of them anymore and it was really a waste of 200 quid.

I didn't breastfeed or plan to abs did nct. My facilitator wasn't hardcore breastfeeding at all. She covered a wide range of things feeding pain relief methods of delivery post partum.

However I don't see anyone from nct now.

I think it's luck of the draw unfortunately. You may just get lucky and have a group that you get along with and don't judge you for not BF.

@Yerroblemom1923

Tbf you're probably right. From what I hear it's all hardcore breastfeeders and natural birthers. Those thay don't adhere to those rules are generally shunned.

That was not my experience. Neither were mentioned and we made some long term friends from it.

You could always do a non-NCT run antenatal class. I did 'bump and baby club' as I'd had bad reviews from friends about NCT.
It was great. Didn't push or make you feel bad about anything (I had a planned c-section) and gave great advice on all things labour. Met lots of nice people to socialise with on mat leave too

Total waste of money if you don't want to breast feed and you're having a c section. Only worthwhile as a way of meeting people.

I did the course online due to covid. I'm the only one to exclusively breastfeed. I'm still in touch with 2 of my group. I did it to meet people and to support my husband as he wanted to know more about what to do with babies 😂

I didn't bother as they're expensive and I didn't want a load of natural birth stuff shoved down my throat. I have some friends who really hit it off with their NCT group and others who rapidly lost touch, so it seems rather hit or miss whether it works out for you. After all, the only thing you have in common is having a due date on the same month!

I didn't know anyone else who was pregnant at the time but that didn't really bother me. After the birth I went to some local toddler groups (baby slept - this was totally for my benefit!) and made friends that way, which worked a lot better as their babies/toddlers were a range of ages and we could find areas of mutual interest.

I did go to an NCT breastfeeding group after myriad problems at the beginning but they weren't very helpful, were very anti-formula (I was combi-feeding) and I was bullied there.

@Tulipsanddaffs06 I did NCT and knew I was having a c section and not breastfeeding and it was totally fine. In fact half of the group (3/6) knew they were having c sections - the other 2 for medical reasons but mine was tokophobia/choice. The group leader was good at talking through c section procedure and what to expect.

She was a bit surprised I didn't want to try breast feeding but I was adamant and she accepted it. It sounds like you've got another good option, but I would say NCT was useful even in those circumstances (and it's more about meeting mum friends to hang out with when you're on mat leave).

Our NCT babies will be 20 this year. We still meet up at least once a month for dinner and drinks. Some of us BF some didn’t, some had sections some didn’t. Ultimately the best part of it was our wonderful friendship

I had an elective c section for no medical reason, but just because I wanted to. I also didn't really breastfeed and actually ended up missing the breastfeeding class as I was unwell.

I still went along and was honest about it and no one said a word at all. Not the teacher, no one.

I would still go if I was you. It's an amazing way to meet people in your situation and I never felt judged at all.

I didn't do NCT when I had my first because I was 23 and didn't want to pay to be rejected.

Then I didn't do it with my 2nd or 3rd because you don't need to do you. I kinda feel like I missed out though. Lots of my friends did nct and are still really good friends 20years on

Two years ago I started my foundation degree to become an NCT teacher (antenatal and yoga) and I found the lectures we had surrounding birth quite frightening.

Yes they covered interventions but it was in a very negative manner. The general message was if you put some candles out, use massage oils and play soft music whilst fighting back against medical advice then you’ll have a wonderful and natural labour.

Interventions during labour probably save so many babies lives and I found it very uneasy that the NCT was demonising it and basically telling the women not to trust the midwives and doctors.

I also had to observe reunions (meetings that are held after the babies are born) and any mother who’d had a section or wasn’t breastfeeding looked so sad because they probably felt they were being judged.

It felt like a competition of which woman had had the ‘best’ birth and which women were the better mothers because they were breastfeeding.

Morally it wasn’t something I wanted to be involved in and after my first year of study I decided not to go back.

Some people love the NCT but the opinion I got was that they’re living in fairy tale land.

If you can afford out, do it.

It's great having a group of people all going through the same thing.

All the best

NCT are not the only anti natal group. There’s anti natal in every area connected to the GP surgery or hospital. I actually didn’t do a single anti natal class cos I found being pregnant to be really embarrassing and didn’t want to discuss my private medical stuff in a room full of strangers. I met friends afterwards in baby groups and didn’t regret my decision once.

7 in ours. 3 c-sections and 4 who never breast fed.

I had a anti c section teacher in ours but that was a few years ago and I think NCT has changed quite a bit!

I found the group useful for massage techniques although our group never really clicked the WhatsApp group was a life saver at 2am. By the time they were all 1 year though it had died a death.
Would say just don't go to the bf session of not interested.

I did quite a bit of NCT stuff post birth as they have free walk and talk groups, early baby group support and baby play groups which are very cheap. You don't have to be a member for them either and they are fab.

I found my NCT classes to be wonderful. I already knew a lot of thr practical stuff (big family) but the facilitator was non-judgemental, balanced and so kind. 7/8 of us BF but in no way was the formula feeding mum shunned. In fact she has gone on to be a very good friend. If you are shunned for formula feeding it will be the people on the course, not the course itself. There is focus on BF but this is because BF support is so lacking in the UK unless you have the money pay for support, and a lot of women stop before they want to.

The thing that I remember most vividly was the discussion and activity around caesarean - I thought it was fascinating and it served me well when, 3 years later, I had one after a straightforward vaginal birth with my first. It was helpful to know what to expect and I remembered a lot of it. In fact, a lot of my group had planned and unplanned CS, but none of them felt like a failure or traumatised by them.

Both of my births were positive and I made the decisions that were right for me at that time with the information I had.

@Lookatmelookatme

I found my NCT classes to be wonderful. I already knew a lot of thr practical stuff (big family) but the facilitator was non-judgemental, balanced and so kind. 7/8 of us BF but in no way was the formula feeding mum shunned. In fact she has gone on to be a very good friend. If you are shunned for formula feeding it will be the people on the course, not the course itself. There is focus on BF but this is because BF support is so lacking in the UK unless you have the money pay for support, and a lot of women stop before they want to.

The thing that I remember most vividly was the discussion and activity around caesarean - I thought it was fascinating and it served me well when, 3 years later, I had one after a straightforward vaginal birth with my first. It was helpful to know what to expect and I remembered a lot of it. In fact, a lot of my group had planned and unplanned CS, but none of them felt like a failure or traumatised by them.

Both of my births were positive and I made the decisions that were right for me at that time with the information I had.

I should add, FF is covered so I'd tell the facilitator that you are FF and ask lots of questions.

@Tulipsanddaffs06

I did an NCT course with my first and it was (7 years ago) about £180!for 6 sessions in a church room no refreshments, cold and uncomfortable

The woman was crazy they're volunteers not trained midwives with bizarre ideas and very outdated materials and props. She had some dolls for us to dress they were filthy as were the Dolly baby clothes.

The people were awful and entitled we did the course then we had a "reunion" this "volunteer"
Booked a venue and we had to pay for our own food and drink we had a drink then made our excuses

Never again nor would I recommend it

As a side note they did push breastfeeding but so do the hospital but it's entirely personal choice it's not for everyone.

I'd look at local antenatal classes in your area - not Nct ones but ones run by a midwife not some "volunteer" or ask at your children's centre.

I did NCT to make friends. I had an elective section and didn’t breastfeed. They’re some of my closest friends now.

We did all bond over an insane leader though. None of us learnt anything but we were mainly there to make friends. It was Covid so all online. We had to work on our friendships after and we did.

I made some wonderful friends through NCT and we're still close years later.

I didn't think twice about what choices anyone else made. It doesn't make any difference to my baby what you decide to do about birth or feeding.

Funniest moment in our group was when one lady thought her waters had broken during our first class... nope, she'd just peed herself. She's totally batty and now one of my good friends 😂