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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have bought my team easter eggs..

324 replies

M00cow · 15/04/2022 08:00

Hello,

I have recently had a promotion at work and now line manage 6 others. The increase in pay only works out to be about £8 a day compared to a big increase in workload/responsibility (I say that because its hardly like im suddenly earning a fortune). I have also only been in this role for 2 weeks so haven't even received my first payslip yet.

However, i have had several comments from my team this week about Easter eggs...pointing out that other managers had bought their staff one and when was I going to do the same. Some of these comments came across really sarky and it has made me feel quite bad for not buying any! It hadn't even crossed my mind tbh and money is tight at the best of times.

I suppose my AIBU is am I being mean for not buying a team of adults (older than myself) an Easter egg when I'm very newly in this role? Or do they need to grow up? Half tempted to go to the shops now and try to pick something up for tuesday because I feel guilty!

Thoughts please

OP posts:
AnnesBrokenSlate · 15/04/2022 10:36

It's about the culture of where you work. I've been in places where we were given Easter eggs. I've also had managers who'd regularly host evening meals for the team at their house.
Your team helpfully told you the culture and you still didn't buy the eggs - that's an interesting approach to building team morale and cohesion.
Nine months in post and then getting promoted to manager is a steep learning curve. But you need to be ahead of that curve not rushing to catch up. Talk to a colleague or manager that you can trust about company expectations. And possibly talk to your own manager about opportunities for management training for yourself. You're young and female. Someone, somewhere will be waiting for you to slip up. Don't give them the satisfaction. Well done on getting promoted Flowers

Wnikat · 15/04/2022 10:36

Adults do not need to be bought Easter eggs. By anyone.

Firstruleofsoupover · 15/04/2022 10:38

If the company is privately owned, it may have a budget for staff treats/birthday flowers etc so in that case the company/shareholders is making the gesture. In the case of a manager taking the expenses herself I think it could be a mistake. Say the present is £1 of cheap chocolate - what does that mean, not a whole hill of beans - or it could be a good bottle of wine, £12 or so, which multiplied for a team of 8 is £100 odd for the manager to find. Is she also going to remember to do same for birthdays for each team member? And now Easter? What about Diwali? Some Buddhists and Jaines also celebrate Diwali, not just Hindu and one's religion is part of one's personal data so no one could assume a particular staff member wouldn't celebrate. It would need to be everyone in the team. where to stop??

Someone I knew for a while who was a manager for a while told me she would go out at lunchtimes every so often and buy chocolate for the secretaries in the office. Not even in her own team, all the secretaries in the office! I felt that if she bought for the whole office fine, but what was she doing singling the secretaries out for cheap treats? At least one of them probably wanted to kill her when this happened, I reckoned, having spent a lot of time as a secretary myself and not enjoying it. I said simply that if it were me I would not like it and recommended she stop it. She was shocked that I was not praising her for being so generous and thoughtful.

k1233 · 15/04/2022 10:41

I got my team eggs. It made them happy. It left me with some of my favourite little eggs. Really isn't a huge cost (I pay for them myself) and goes so far to building a bit of goodwill and morale. I don't think the other managers did eggs - I don't really care if they did or didn't. I also give them a card at Christmas thanking them for specific things during the year and a small gift. People like to feel appreciated.

Blossomtoes · 15/04/2022 10:44

It’s piss poor that they’ve asked but I used to buy my team chocolate for Easter/Christmas and the odd ice cream on a hot day.

NotTerfNorCis · 15/04/2022 10:46

I'm a team leader and can't imagine buying my team anything. It would be super-awkward. We mostly work remotely anyway.

ToCaden · 15/04/2022 10:48

At most I've been given a creme egg at Easter by line manager. It was a nice treat, but never thought anything of it the years I got nothing.

TicTac80 · 15/04/2022 10:50

It’s really down to you. I’m a ward sister and tend to buy in stuff for the staff at random times. There’s no expectation of it though. I’m not at work today, so didn’t buy anything, but over the past few weeks/months, I’ve bought in: an Aeropress and a load of ground coffee (saves everyone the cost of going to Costa!), herbal teabags, pens, some healthy snacks, nice mugs and cutlery, sanitary protection (I leave it in the staff room and anyone can help themselves to it - if they get caught short without any on a shift). It is just random basic stuff that might cheer my staff up. I can’t generate more staff for them (despite fighting for it every shift!), but it’s just a way that I can thank them, so they know I value and care for them.

Firstruleofsoupover · 15/04/2022 10:54

@TicTac80 that's interesting to read, thank you for explaining what you do for your team. I bet it is all appreciated.

I feel cheap chocolate is something we can all easily pick up from the supermarket if we want it, don't need some Manager to make it officially okay for us to have some. Mind you I can take offence at a door so it could be partly a me thing.

daisychain01 · 15/04/2022 10:56

I wonder what planet some people are on.

Easter eggs? Thank you cards? For doing paid work. Jeez

What type of workplaces are these?

Must be a kindergarten.

I've managed teams for years, never a problem with motivation, and no expectation for handouts. There might be a joint decision to bring in a box of biscuits or something to go with a cuppa, or whatever, but never the team expecting Easter Eggs or or handwritten thank you cards. That's utterly bonkers!

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/04/2022 11:00

That’s hilarious

Are you sure they are adults?!

I guess if it’s normal at your gaff and if it would make them happy then do. You’ll get a discount on Monday.

Making your team feel appreciated is important.

Applesonthelawn · 15/04/2022 11:01

In my 40 years of full time working I have never heard of a manager buying Easter eggs for the team. I suppose it depends on what is normal where you are, but you wouldn't be unreasonable to establish a new normal if you want.

Fraaahnces · 15/04/2022 11:02

You're managing them, right? I'm guessing you have to also have regular chats with them about things like work ethics and attitudes? Grabby, entitled, whiny gits don't exactly boost morale.

ImInStealthMode · 15/04/2022 11:03

I bought my team a £1 egg each, I do something similar every 2 or 3 months, either chocolate or maybe a bunch of daffodils when they're in season. It's just a little way of expressing my gratitude to them.

My former boss did the same, so when she left and I was promoted I carried it on.

Wintersgirl · 15/04/2022 11:05

@Bettyboop3

I bought my team chocolate, £1 each in Tesco. Everyone likes to feel appreciated.
Depends how many in the team, 5? Fine 30? That's when it gets ridiculous and expensive..
Luredbyapomegranate · 15/04/2022 11:05

@Firstruleofsoupover

It just depends on the company culture and staff in question though. I’m guessing the OPs team don’t earn a lot and maybe don’t get a lot of respect so this means a lot to them. We know they want Easter Eggs because they said so, so your chocolate for typists example isn’t relevant to this case.

I agree it would appear childlike to many, but you have to deal with people as they are. Part of being a good manager is making sure people feel heard, as well as appreciated.

Moon22 · 15/04/2022 11:06

It's upto you what you buy.
I'm not a manager but I always bring things in at easter/christmas. I just think it's a nice gesture- not expensive, just bits from tesco or the pound shop! Gives people are nice lift. I would be the same if I was a manager. Most of the managers in my work aren't generous at all- it's more likely to be just the normal staff doing nice things, buying nice coffee for everyone etc- usually the same people all the time.
In my opinion, as a manager, it would be worth making these small gestures- but you are not required to at all and if you can't afford it, definitely don't! Small price for a happier team at work!

ZoyaTheDestroyer · 15/04/2022 11:07

There is no point asking MN a question that is totally dependent on your workplace culture.

Speaking as someone who was promoted to a leadership role with a lot of responsibility at a similar age to you, the fact that you even mention your age suggests that you do think it is a bit of an excuse. You have to let go of this and focus on the gaps in your knowledge and skills. Ask your employer for training if you need it.

IggysPop · 15/04/2022 11:10

I am with you @daisychain01

I think it is indicative of a weak company culture and leadership. People are generally motivated and engaged through good terms and conditions of employment (including a reasonable workload), CPD, and opportunities for progression should they wish to do so. These ‘treats’ are often a ‘plaster’ for failure in these areas. I have noticed that women tend to get more invested in all of this too - not sure why. Probably for the same reason they still often feel less able then their male counterparts to express what they want at work and their professional worth (e.g. ask for increased pay and go for promotions).

malificent7 · 15/04/2022 11:12

How old are they...5?!

Hawkins001 · 15/04/2022 11:14

@M00cow

Hello,

I have recently had a promotion at work and now line manage 6 others. The increase in pay only works out to be about £8 a day compared to a big increase in workload/responsibility (I say that because its hardly like im suddenly earning a fortune). I have also only been in this role for 2 weeks so haven't even received my first payslip yet.

However, i have had several comments from my team this week about Easter eggs...pointing out that other managers had bought their staff one and when was I going to do the same. Some of these comments came across really sarky and it has made me feel quite bad for not buying any! It hadn't even crossed my mind tbh and money is tight at the best of times.

I suppose my AIBU is am I being mean for not buying a team of adults (older than myself) an Easter egg when I'm very newly in this role? Or do they need to grow up? Half tempted to go to the shops now and try to pick something up for tuesday because I feel guilty!

Thoughts please

Could you buy decent eggs, to put on a good show, but charge the company account ?
Beautiful3 · 15/04/2022 11:14

I would buy a box of mini egg chocolate bars and hand them out. They're only a pound each.

sashh · 15/04/2022 11:19

Wow, are they average age 8?

I think it is weird for adults to get Easter eggs (unless it's a Faberge than yes I would be happy to receive one).

I'm someone who takes work colleagues occasional treats but Easter eggs are not something on my agender

AskingforaBaskin · 15/04/2022 11:19

[quote Luredbyapomegranate]@Firstruleofsoupover

It just depends on the company culture and staff in question though. I’m guessing the OPs team don’t earn a lot and maybe don’t get a lot of respect so this means a lot to them. We know they want Easter Eggs because they said so, so your chocolate for typists example isn’t relevant to this case.

I agree it would appear childlike to many, but you have to deal with people as they are. Part of being a good manager is making sure people feel heard, as well as appreciated.[/quote]
It doesn't matter about the culture at all. Nobody can enforce an employee to spend their money on staff. If the company wish to create an expenses pot fine. But other wise they'll have to get their own.

StellaMag · 15/04/2022 11:20

Your team shouldn’t ask for/expect an egg. That’s pretty rude! And I don’t think you need to buy/spend a fortune - should you decide to do something. A card, or baking a cake is just as good. And you can do that anytime, or when credit is due after a project etc. I’d say that’s more meaningful then just because it’s Easter.