Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have bought my team easter eggs..

324 replies

M00cow · 15/04/2022 08:00

Hello,

I have recently had a promotion at work and now line manage 6 others. The increase in pay only works out to be about £8 a day compared to a big increase in workload/responsibility (I say that because its hardly like im suddenly earning a fortune). I have also only been in this role for 2 weeks so haven't even received my first payslip yet.

However, i have had several comments from my team this week about Easter eggs...pointing out that other managers had bought their staff one and when was I going to do the same. Some of these comments came across really sarky and it has made me feel quite bad for not buying any! It hadn't even crossed my mind tbh and money is tight at the best of times.

I suppose my AIBU is am I being mean for not buying a team of adults (older than myself) an Easter egg when I'm very newly in this role? Or do they need to grow up? Half tempted to go to the shops now and try to pick something up for tuesday because I feel guilty!

Thoughts please

OP posts:
PupInAPram · 15/04/2022 08:51

@fairylightsandwaxmelts

I don't know.

If the workplace culture is that managers always buy an Easter Egg and all the other managers did so, I can kind of see their point.

I'm not saying it's a "thing" that makes sense but I can kind of see where they're coming from if they've always received something and everyone else got a token egg except them.

It's not about the egg as such - it's about what it means (thank you for your hard work).

Work is a contract not a family. You don't need thanking, you sell your time, you get paid. I had a manager who started off constantly thanking people, sometimes for no apparent reason. His real communication about work related stuff was shit and you are lucky if he returns a smile now.
GooglyEyeballs · 15/04/2022 08:52

Why don't you bake an Easter cake? (But also they need to grow up)

AlisonDonut · 15/04/2022 08:53

@ImanAccountant

We've always got Easter eggs from the management in the nhs, usually an out of date crème egg or a Tesco one but it's nice to feel appreciated
She's been in the role for 2 weeks.

I'm gonna suggest that eggs are not topmost on her mind right now.

oakleaffy · 15/04/2022 08:54

@TheLadyDIdGood

I'd have bought them the Easter eggs as part of my relationship building exercise with the new team. A little bit of thought and appreciation goes a long way particularly if there are changes to be made.

A former manager of mine made a big declaration at the lunch we organised for her on her first day. She declared that she wasn't there to make friends & although the lunch was nice, it wasn't necessary. She didn't last a year because the big bosses realised their mistake in hiring her. Her management style was combat mode, loud, thoughtless & argumentative. Plus she was a liar who covered her own mistakes.

She sounds awful! She should have thanked you all for the lovely lunch you had all organised for her. DS {Adult} gets given ''Sweets'' by a Supplier he buys materials off, and the sweets {a big tin of Celebrations for Easter and fudge} and it was much appreciated :)
Cocomarine · 15/04/2022 08:54

For me it comes down to whether all the managers around them and their previous manager did this, in which case - whatever people here think of that - it would be wise to do the same, as you’re only weeks into the role.

If the expectation is a £1 egg / pack of mini eggs / Creme Egg - just do that.

If the expectation is a Egg type that you can’t afford, then do something a bit different. Rather than an obviously cheaper egg, make bring in an Easter cake to share.

DontDoThatGeorge · 15/04/2022 08:54

I planned to buy my team eggs. I'm not big into easter, but it's nice to say a little thank you to them.
However half the team went off sick leaving us rushed off our feet, so I spent twice as much on pizzas for lunch and no eggs were bought.

Octopus37 · 15/04/2022 08:55

TBH, (it could be too late now), I would go for the middle ground and buy some packs of Easter cupcakes or similar from M&S (make sure there's enough to go round). I bought some from Sainsburys yesterday for my neighbours a pack of 9 cost £4.50. I wouldn't want people to think I am tight if other Mangers do this. Obviously from my reply, you can tell I've never been a Manager.

Bedsheets4knickers · 15/04/2022 08:55

Buy them on Monday £3 for the whole team .

OnlyTheTitosaurusOfTheIceberg · 15/04/2022 08:55

Work is a contract not a family. You don't need thanking, you sell your time, you get paid.

Newsflash: different things motivate different people. Some people thrive on praise and thanks, some don’t need it. Neither of those attitudes is wrong, they’re just different, and a good manager recognises that.

ImanAccountant · 15/04/2022 08:55

@AlisonDonut but she's worked there for long enough to get a promotion and know the culture of the place.. Hmm

PlainJaneEyre · 15/04/2022 08:56

It always pays to invest in the people who do things for you whether that is your team or your hairdresser. It's all about the thought.

BubblesThaDragoon · 15/04/2022 08:56

I’ve had them at previous jobs - but it was for the whole department and came out of the reward and recognition budget. Id never expect a manager to buy them out of their own money - it’s cheeky.

EarlyStarters · 15/04/2022 08:56

Can you just be open next week and say you're new to the manager thing and apologise.

Get them a little chocolate bar each if it'll smooth things over. Pop it on their desk with a note.

SirChenjins · 15/04/2022 08:57

Agree with the others who rightly point out that it sounds like they’re testing their (young) new managers boundaries. Don’t feel as if you have to tiptoe around them and keep everything as it was in your predecessor’s day - you’re in your role because you’re good at what you do and your employer believes you’re the best person for the job. Don’t be scared to make any necessary changes and improvements Smile

DailyMailHater · 15/04/2022 08:58

My manger buys us all a small Easter each every year and a bag of chocolate coins each at Christmas….not big, but is a nice little treat….although I file his expense claims and know he claims them back on the company card as “team building”…but all the managers in our place do the same,

Other jobs prior to this I haven’t received anything….I guess it just depends on the culture in your office. I can see how if other teams around them got them and they didn’t it might look a bit odd.

Original poster
M00cow · 15/04/2022 08:59

It would help if I was here last Easter I suppose. I started 9 months ago and was a member of the team I now manage until recently. I dont think all the managers have bought eggs just a few that I've noticed. I'm definitely planning on doing birthday/Christmas treats...maybe I'll speak to some of the more experienced managers and see what the done thing is here

OP posts:
Benjispruce4 · 15/04/2022 09:01

In the interest of keeping everyone happy and this your life being easier, could you stretch to a few packets of hot cross buns and some mini eggs to share?

SeedyBloomer · 15/04/2022 09:01

I don’t think someone should be expected to buy Easter eggs for an entire team of adults, not should they be pointing this out in a ‘hint hint’ kind of way. Perhaps spell it out that you can see that the other managers are very kind but you simply can’t afford to and it’s in no way a reflection on your appreciation of them.

Underfrighter · 15/04/2022 09:01

You shouldn't have to. But if all the other teams have got them then I probably would as they will note they are the only ones without them. Just go cheap. It's a bit shit though as if its expected company culture rather than voluntary then you should really be able to expense it

Your team are cheeky fuckers for asking though

EarlyStarters · 15/04/2022 09:01

And it's true what a difference something so small makes for morale.

My DH is a manager and got bits for his team - but the business owner left a Lindt bunny on his desk yesterday and he was so chuffed with it that he told me about it both on the phone at lunch time and when he got home. Smile

Same with his advent calendar in December. Again only cost £1 but makes him smile at work.

So for December definitely remember the Advent Calendar as that's a little chocolate every day at work for the month.

Musicalmaestro · 15/04/2022 09:02

In a very long career, I have never been bought an individual gift by a manager.

AngelinaFibres · 15/04/2022 09:02

@TheKeatingFive

The goodwill you will get for spending £6-10 on some eggs might well be worth it.

I agree with this

Goodwill goes a very long way . If you had thought ahead you could probably have bought Easter treats for the cost of one of your new £8.00 days. What about taking a Simnel cake in on Tuesday for teabreak time. Saying thank you and showing appreciation are crucial things. I have worked for people who felt saying thank you was unnecessary and that people should just realise that their work was appreciated. I have worked for people who put a box of chocs on the staffroom table after a rough week where people did extra. It is nice to be appreciated and to be told you are appreciated.
MajorCarolDanvers · 15/04/2022 09:02

I have never been given an Easter egg at work nor given one.

They are being very childish.

Bostonbullsmumma · 15/04/2022 09:02

I've only worked for one company that bought all the staff an Easter egg. However, I do know it wasn't paid for by the manager but on the company credit card. One year I had to go buy them all!! I don't think anyone would have expected the manager to personally buy them. 15 years later and never been bought an egg again by work!!

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 15/04/2022 09:03

My manager bought us all a bunch of daffodils which was very much appreciated but in no way expected.
Def not you OP!