Page 5 | OH lied about extra day on away.

Beccylouuu · 2022-04-14T23:09:11+00:00

OH is going on a stag do to Benidorm in may, which is fine, he told me months ago but no exact dates. Told me the dates yesterday which were Friday to Monday but now today he said he’s going Friday to Tuesday (him and one other pal, the rest of the stag do are coming back Monday) because the flight back is cheaper Tuesday. I could tell he was lying so I checked the flights and they are the same price both days. I told him I’d checked and asked why he felt the need to lie, if he’d just said I’m staying an extra day I would’ve been ok with it but the lying really p****s me off!! He’s p****d off with me now because I checked the flights and didn’t just believe him. AIBU?

LampLighter414 · 15/04/2022 09:35

@Ponoka7

I'd think about who the mate is who he's staying on with and why he might want extra time alone. Are they both the type to go with prostitutes, pick up women, but the rest of the group might grass them up? What's the rest of your relationship/sex life like? I'd want a proper explanation for the lie and the not wanting to come home to you. He's out of the house more than he's in it and not just for work.

Yep agreed. This is why I asked OP if it was his best mate. Let's have an extra night of debauchery and we won't grass each other up

MrsLargeEmbodied · 15/04/2022 09:48

it seems odd that you would check up on him like this

MrsLargeEmbodied · 15/04/2022 09:49

if you think he is going to behave badly why are you with him?

Minoloso · 15/04/2022 09:56

There’s always one thread where everyone piles on the OP for no reason.

Baaaaaa

MrsLargeEmbodied · 15/04/2022 10:00

perhaps the monday flight was in the morning and they wanted to get ratarsed and sleep it off

Heythere13 · 15/04/2022 10:02

@PugInTheHouse

My husband did stuff like this, I don't think I have ever really trusted him because of that. Examples are first time he went skiing with his mates he told me he said he wanted to go for no more than 3 nights when they asked him, they ended up booking 4 nights, he then asked me to check some info on his email about skiing (flight times etc) and very clearly on the email he said he would prefer 4 nights. No idea why he lied, it would make sense to go for 4 nights if skiing. Other time he asked me to book flights for him as he was going to Alicante with his mates. They were actually going to Benidorm. I have no clue why he couldn't have just said that, his defence was that he didn't actually lie, he was flying to Alicante, he never said he was staying there.

Pisses me off really, there are quite a few examples. We have been together 17 years and it still bothers me.

@PugInTheHouse

How? How can you live like this? 17 years. What a waste

Beefcurtains79 · 15/04/2022 10:05

This thread is insane! Apparently it’s better to be an absolute mug than dare to question your husband!

Heythere13 · 15/04/2022 10:06

You’ve completely misunderstood

Anyone who “knows their husband is lying”

Is with someone who is either a liar OR they’re not lying but the person has such little trust in them they immediately think that
Either way - it’s a shit relationship with no legs

Heythere13 · 15/04/2022 10:06

@Hertsgirl10

Sorry in response to your post

Hertsgirl10 · 15/04/2022 10:10

@Heythere13

You’ve completely misunderstood

Anyone who “knows their husband is lying”

Is with someone who is either a liar OR they’re not lying but the person has such little trust in them they immediately think that
Either way - it’s a shit relationship with no legs

@Heythere13

Hmm yea true if they’re lying there’s normally a deeper reason.

Heythere13 · 15/04/2022 10:11

Yes so in either scenario

It’s not a happy healthy relationship

PugInTheHouse · 15/04/2022 10:18

@Heythere13 it does sound bad doesn't it, day to day things are good, this was when the kids were small. Maybe he still does, I really don't know. It is on my mind at times still though.

Heythere13 · 15/04/2022 10:21

@PugInTheHouse

I think you may have lost sight of actually how bad it is. It sounds bloody awful

Itsaslothslife · 15/04/2022 10:24

He lied, he admitted he lied. Okay, has he said why? Is he forthcoming? Was it "I screwed up, I'm sorry, I just wanted an extra day because..." Or was it "I don't know why you're getting at me I didn't do anything wrong"
Lying is dishonest but it doesn't have to be malicious, can be just plain common or garden "Don't want to have to explain to you, don't want the aggro I think I'm going to get, my brain just farted and words came out when put on the spot."

Its almost annoying, if it was a clear or major screw up like cheating or kicking the dog the path would be pretty clear. But small grating shit means you question yourself "am I really going to throw X away because he fibbed" or whatever.

PugInTheHouse · 15/04/2022 10:26

@Heythere13 you may well be right. I think we have ended up one of those couples who have a nice life together and don't really look at how things should be.

Heythere13 · 15/04/2022 10:30

[quote PugInTheHouse]@Heythere13 you may well be right. I think we have ended up one of those couples who have a nice life together and don't really look at how things should be.[/quote]
I feel for you
Both actually
No way to live. Feeling you have to lie to your partner for whatever reason. And being the partner lied to. For 17 years

GirlOfTudor · 15/04/2022 10:37

@PugInTheHouse

My husband did stuff like this, I don't think I have ever really trusted him because of that. Examples are first time he went skiing with his mates he told me he said he wanted to go for no more than 3 nights when they asked him, they ended up booking 4 nights, he then asked me to check some info on his email about skiing (flight times etc) and very clearly on the email he said he would prefer 4 nights. No idea why he lied, it would make sense to go for 4 nights if skiing. Other time he asked me to book flights for him as he was going to Alicante with his mates. They were actually going to Benidorm. I have no clue why he couldn't have just said that, his defence was that he didn't actually lie, he was flying to Alicante, he never said he was staying there.

Pisses me off really, there are quite a few examples. We have been together 17 years and it still bothers me.

You totally overreacted about the Alicante/Benidorm thing. He told you he was going to Alicante because that's where he asked you to book flights from 🤦🏻‍♀️ I don't know why you'd be upset over that.

Heythere13 · 15/04/2022 10:39

Yes I noted that

Hence me saying it sounds a very unhappy situation for both the poster and her husband

MrsLargeEmbodied · 15/04/2022 10:40

how do you know @GirlOfTudor

Heythere13 · 15/04/2022 10:42

@MrsLargeEmbodied

how do you know *@GirlOfTudor*

Alicante is the airport for Benidorm

MrsLargeEmbodied · 15/04/2022 10:47

@GirlOfTudor

how do you know @PugInTheHouse over reacted?

Hariboqueen1 · 15/04/2022 10:48

Ah my bad I read it wrong. I thought she wrote she checked his flights and they were for monday.

Blossomtoes · 15/04/2022 10:49

@Beccylouuu

I do trust him and I’m not the type to tell him he can’t do this and that etc which is why I’m annoyed he lied, he’s no need to lie.

But you don’t. You wouldn’t have checked up on him if you did.

NewandNotImproved · 15/04/2022 10:52

He’s just a boyfriend and he’s away more often that’s he’s home, and is wanting even more time away, and lying?
Yeah, sounds dead in the water.

5128gap · 15/04/2022 10:58

@Hertsgirl10

Sorry WTF am I reading here 😂

Sooo if you think you’re fella might be lying and you check, then end the relationship as no trust?

Are you all ok?
Do you all just believe things even if you can see he’s talking bollox? So even a simple thing you think it should be over and that’s that?

I see why so many of you get cheated on and are so gullible cos you just think you can’t check.
I trust my husband but if I thought he was lying I would definitely check cos I trust my instinct more.

No, if you have enough reason to think they're lying that you check up on them, it's often an indicator that they are not trustworthy, as either they have form, or you're picking up other signals. Contrary to the belief of a lot of people on these threads, I don't believe most women to be innately insecure, lacking trust for, and seeking to control a bunch of blameless men. Most of us do trust until we have reason not to. When a man has given us reason not to, some of us think its better to end the relationship than to spend our time going forward watching their every move. No problem whatsoever with the OP checking, but now she knows, if I were her I'd be thinking of moving on.