Panorama( Young families Struggling)

[dottydodah]

Did anyone see this last evening? A lady with 2 small DC and a husband working as a Research Scientist was struggling with bills .Another young Mum in tears as her energy bill was so high.A third lady (working as a Nurse) not able to run a car. How will they manage to keep going? Surely Govt could do more?

Re the phone/Internet thing. I think modern life is tailored to having an Internet connection. It is nigh on impossible to apply for a job, benefit, do research for homework or bank without the Internet. Yes there's libraries but so much more convenient to have a smart phone or tablet. I find it annoying when people think a smartphone is a luxury. Yes 20 years ago they were, yes top of the range ones every year are but not a low tariff or an old phone. I think you need it to carry out even simple tasks.

@Blossomtoes

He was always very keen to tell us how fortunate we were and how privileged our childhoods compared with his. He’d definitely have let us know if he hadn’t had enough to eat. Regardless of whether others went hungry, he didn’t.

Did his mother go hungry? There's enough mothers on this site who've done that.

[quote ChiselandBits]@OberthursGrizzledSkipper - many pps have outlined why the nurse is likely part time - mostly v good reasons about working hours and cost of childcare - but also, If she is a single parent to 3 kids, when do you think she should do the washing, help with their homework, god forbid, maybe PLAY with them or read them a story? My ex had a hissy fit about me working 4 instead of 5 days when the kids were pre school age because he would not acknowledge that you have to actually be there to be a parent sometimes and also that I can't run a house and be at work and parent at the same time. As you say - where is the dad? Ooh, let me guess, at best, seeing them for a MacDs twice a month. Yay. How about forensically examining that and the, what is it now, 9 billion owed in unpaid child maintenance?[/quote]
Well said.
I am a PT lone parent. ExH no input.
For many of us, we are worse off working FT. Some of us have health issues. Running the entire household is more than fulltime!!

Who is to say 40 hours is the magic number we should all do? That has changed over time. Lone parents for many years were able to work 16 hours around family commitments.

What a depressing thread. The biggest cost of living crisis in a generation and some posters are falling over themselves to blame these families for their shit circumstances.

This is why we'll never be rid of the Tories.

Things like internet and phones have become essentials

Yes they have. As we have seen, it's how people order groceries and go to school when a pandemic hits. Oh and many also work from home now, paying for their own internet.

Way back in the good old days plenty of men spent a good chunk of their wages on beer.

With choices come responsibilities...

Except if you're a man. If you're a man you can walk away from your responsibilities. Nobody will mind. Boys will be boys after all.

Everyone will tut tut the woman for having children though (virgin births apparently) and expect her to work as many 12 hour shifts as she can pick up to pay for them.

@MissyB1 I was that latch key kid aswell, it was fine. I came in to my tea cooked ready to microwave, got changed and went out with friends or to a sports club. My 8 year old wishes he could come home alone now vs go to a childminder. We need to stop babying older kids and let them show us what they are capable of.

@mathanxiety

With choices come responsibilities...

Except if you're a man. If you're a man you can walk away from your responsibilities. Nobody will mind. Boys will be boys after all.

Everyone will tut tut the woman for having children though (virgin births apparently) and expect her to work as many 12 hour shifts as she can pick up to pay for them.

Ain’t that the bloody truth!!

I felt for the young mum of 3 the most for some reason but I guess that’s because she was so emotional and it was hard to watch. I think there was more at play then just money there though, she looked deeply depressed and her husband refusing to take part made me wonder what else he leaves her to deal with alone.

When my lot were little I'd do anything for extra cash. Sit up all night packing cards into cellophane sleeves, other peoples ironing, online surveys, literally anything so I didn't have to choose between buying nappies & food. It was the lowest point of my life, I remember the feelings of desperation & exhaustion really vividly. The thought that 20 years later, mothers are still having the same struggle, makes my blood boil.

SandysMam I felt sorry for the young mum of 3 too .I think you are right She was dealing with a lot .The pressure of being hard up ,and not being able to eat/heat yourselves properly must be enormous .Young families will often break up due to the pressure ,children are suffering hugely with few trips out and feeling hungry as well sometimes .Just so miserable for poor people

A lorry driver called LBC, his fuel bill has doubled and him and his wife now skip meals so their children get more. He said he’s away for a week or so at a time and comes back to a dark house and no food- who the fuck wouldn’t be miserable. The idea people should continue to want to work and never enjoy life is Victorian, thank fully the Tories have wound up most helpful schemes and safety nets so now it’s you just don’t have a choice !
These aren’t benefit scrounges, these are working people- the idea they should work non stop is disgusting. They aren’t asking to buy Cartier and go to Dubai they are asking to be able to heat theI homes and eat from Aldi ffs- even the most basic of jobs should afford people that.

@mydogisthebest

I didn't see it but the nurse is in The Mail today.

She only works part time so it's not that surprising that she is struggling. Plus why did she have 3 children? Why do people not stick with 1 or 2 when they have no idea what the future holds?

She can't afford Childcare is why she works part-time.

Maybe when she had the children she was in a relationship and they had joint income.
Don't be so mean.
Noone k own what is around the corner.
Life can be full of surprises. So learn not to be so opinionated to others mis fortune.
As one day circumstances can change for you too.

@Fluffyslippersohyes

Re the phone/Internet thing. I think modern life is tailored to having an Internet connection. It is nigh on impossible to apply for a job, benefit, do research for homework or bank without the Internet. Yes there's libraries but so much more convenient to have a smart phone or tablet. I find it annoying when people think a smartphone is a luxury. Yes 20 years ago they were, yes top of the range ones every year are but not a low tariff or an old phone. I think you need it to carry out even simple tasks.

No library where I live! Public transport not reliable Very few shops and only grocery store is a co op (expensive) Please don't assume everyone lives with was access to libraries, good transport links and choice of shops

This was so sad. I assumed that the two single mum’s weren’t getting maintenance either as it was never mentioned. If so, that’s shameful that ‘men’ are leaving their exes high and dry like that. I remember as a kid seeing my mum missing meals and the cupboards being bare and it’s bloody awful for kids. I felt so sad for the kids knowing how dire things were. The nurse mum looked so thin.

@Mumofsend

The tory government simply do not care. Only solution is to vote them out in 2024

Second post in and already Tory bashing. What did Labour do that was so amazing?

@Mumofsend

The tory government simply do not care. Only solution is to vote them out in 2024

Unfortunately it looks like Labour would do very little to help. Shadow chancellor Rachel Reeves was asked if she would increase pay for nurses etc, she said no.

@ExplodingElephants that's kind of the point (or at least a point) though. Why wasnt the lack of a paternal contribution mentioned? I mean, maybe the children's fathers are dead but more likely theyve left. Are they contributing to theirupkerp, and if do, how much?. Most maintenance payments are woefully low. We should be talking about this.

I absolutely agree about absent fathers needing to pay their fair contribution. A contribution that takes account of what it takes to properly take care of a child. However in the meantime there are children who are growing ip in less than ideal circumstances. The nurse and her family struck me as a situation where a little help (from government) would go a long way and make a big difference.

@mathanxiety

With choices come responsibilities...

Except if you're a man. If you're a man you can walk away from your responsibilities. Nobody will mind. Boys will be boys after all.

Everyone will tut tut the woman for having children though (virgin births apparently) and expect her to work as many 12 hour shifts as she can pick up to pay for them.

Fecking well said!

@ExplodingElephants

This was so sad. I assumed that the two single mum’s weren’t getting maintenance either as it was never mentioned. If so, that’s shameful that ‘men’ are leaving their exes high and dry like that. I remember as a kid seeing my mum missing meals and the cupboards being bare and it’s bloody awful for kids. I felt so sad for the kids knowing how dire things were. The nurse mum looked so thin.

It leaves scars that can never be healed. I grew up in poverty and have a fear of empty cupboards. My fridge has got to have food in it at all times. I horde toiletries as well, because we never had any and my hygiene as a child was terrible. I will probably never not be like this,

@Eviebeans maybe the government should tackle it first rather than jumping in to fill the gap with benefits, just so some man somewhere can dodge his responsibilities. Other countries take a far harder line on this and we should too.

I think the young mum did have a partner, he was a warehouse manager, I imagine he just didn’t want to appear on film.

@MsDataPotata

When my lot were little I'd do anything for extra cash. Sit up all night packing cards into cellophane sleeves, other peoples ironing, online surveys, literally anything so I didn't have to choose between buying nappies & food. It was the lowest point of my life, I remember the feelings of desperation & exhaustion really vividly. The thought that 20 years later, mothers are still having the same struggle, makes my blood boil.

Same here, I was a single mum for many years after my DH died and DD was very much a breadline child. I was lucky in that I had a degree in accounting which meant I was able to audit / tax refunds for local clubs / organisations books a few times a year in exchange for food vouchers. I would always leave the food voucher for a rainy day. I worked all day and the last thing I wanted to do in the evening was more work but my god it was a godsend when I had unexpected bills. This was 10-20 years ago too. I really feel for those families, it wasnt easy back then but it was survivable, no way would I have made ends meet today.

I did it tough financially but I was lucky enough in that my parents which relatively wealthy, I never relied on them for money but my parents bailed me out a couple of times when I was truly desperate and they spoilt my DD at birthdays / christmasses.

My best wishes are going out to everyone who is struggling.

The government should make tackling the situation regarding absent fathers a priority. I don't think that is the only situation where people are struggling though. Two people working full time should mean having a reasonable standard of living for themselves and their family.