Panorama( Young families Struggling)

[dottydodah]

Did anyone see this last evening? A lady with 2 small DC and a husband working as a Research Scientist was struggling with bills .Another young Mum in tears as her energy bill was so high.A third lady (working as a Nurse) not able to run a car. How will they manage to keep going? Surely Govt could do more?

@whenwillthemadnessend

These times come in cycles and we have been riding the wave of low interest rates, never never cheap loans and cheap food etc for longer than I ever expected.

Now we have to weather the latest rough cycle but it's been 25 years since the last bad one so some on MN will never have experienced it.

Hole in the shoe, let's the snow come through and chills you to the bone anyone remember that???

I agree . Energy costs are not the only thing that can rise . I remember 15% mortgage rates . And negative equity and unemployment and buying our food in markets and clothes at jumbles .,

But also then we did not have contracts for items that mean you can’t switch or change to lower cost items .

And no I am not saying we don’t need phones but some contracts for phones and sky or leasing cars are very very difficult to get out of .

And yes I totally agree about absent fathers paying for children . It does appear to be a big problem .

@Blossomtoes

Oh give over *@Organictangerine*. I’ve answered your question, just leave it now.

You haven’t though, Blossomtoes. I’m genuinely intrigued to see what you consider an appropriately healthy meal for a family.

You’re going to have to stay intrigued, it’s obviously not beans on toast! 😉

Nothing wrong with having beans on toast as a meal. It is much better than the rubbish I have seen on here, that some people feed their children.

@Blossomtoes

You’re going to have to stay intrigued, it’s obviously not beans on toast! 😉

I assume Maccy’s.

@emuloc

Nothing wrong with having beans on toast as a meal. It is much better than the rubbish I have seen on here, that some people feed their children.

Yep. Too many meals are too rich/flavoured.

You can assume whatever you like, darling. What’s Maccys?

Too many meals are too rich/flavoured.

I agree, its ridiculous people thinking that after working a job to give money to the hmrc you should then go home and expect flavour, I mean what next, feeling full, enjoyment, contentment, not on this governments watch they dont

There's nothing wrong with beans on toast for an occasional meal. There's something very nutritionally wrong with beans on toast being the majority of your diet.

@JustAnotherPoster00

Too many meals are too rich/flavoured.

I agree, its ridiculous people thinking that after working a job to give money to the hmrc you should then go home and expect flavour, I mean what next, feeling full, enjoyment, contentment, not on this governments watch they dont

You’re being silly. I’m financially comfortable, a lot of my meals are along the lines of meat/fish, potatoes, salad. My stepmum used to cover every meal in rich cheese sauce, very creamy curries, flavouring in everything. Hence being on cholesterol meds. I could feel the bloat after eating one of her meals; I felt about a stone heavier

I’m financially comfortable

Well thats even better then, the poors should obviously listen to you, youre clearly better than they are, so thank you for your wisdom and insight into how to deal with being poor, it will be invaluable to some here if they want to attain being financially comfortable like their betters

It's being 'financially comfortable' that allows us to indulge our taste for fresh meat, seafood, and vegetables, and the luxury of the power with which to cook them. Far too many people are increasingly unable, or worried about their ongoing ability to do so.

My mother was running a household of five when she was six. She can give you recipes for dandelion soup and nettle soup. She eats nose to tail, and sometimes manages to recycle the hooves. She would never say that this was a good way to live, that people should live like this, and that 'this will teach them what life is all about' - not when it comes to people, old and young, going cold and hungry.

I made a comment before that I think git misinterpreted- I think a phone and Internet are essential these days, try applying for a job or benefit without one.

I went from part time to full time. Once I'd paid more in tax, childcare, commuting, parking it really made hardly any difference at all. Plus the load at home was no less to bear.

Also I feel a bit sad that being poor or struggling to buy a house (seems to being out the same comments) should mean you can't ever expect the odd small treat in life.

A fifth of working age adults are economically inactive and we have the highest disability rates on the planet

This is extremely bad if true. I’m geniunely not sure how much people think the govt can do - they’ve just had to support everyone financially as best they can through a once in a lifetime crisis (COVID) and the coffers are pretty empty.

I agree forcing fathers to pay maintenance is a start, as would looking at the NHS wastage. I don’t think that just giving out more money is the answer. Help with childcare costs would be great though.

@BoredZelda

I haven’t seen this documentary but I watched a news report about a woman struggling to provide for her child because of the rising costs. What struck me was, I could help her, but there are so few options available. I donate to food banks, but that’s not really enough for families like hers. I’d happily pay more tax, but the government won’t use it to help those families.

It shouldn’t be up to charities to support people who the government is failing, but given the current situation more needs to be done. I know people feel too proud to accept charity, but in some ways, it’s no different to me paying more tax to support people who are struggling, it just means the money doesn’t get wasted by government. Does anyone know of any charities which provide this kind of support. I’ve googled for my local area but all that comes up are food banks.

We need to write to our MPs. Like this letter from hundreds of food banks to the government…

www.foodaidnetwork.org.uk/letter-april22

coffers are pretty empty

I take it you dont understand economics

@JustAnotherPoster00

I’m very happy for you or anyone else to
Explain to me. I’m really interested in what,
Specifically, people want the govt to do. There’s no need to be rude.

That letter’s very powerful @DesidaCrick. Believe it or not, someone came up with this gem yesterday “Food banks get used because they are there to be used”.

A fifth of working age adults are economically inactive

Wrong. 20% of those between 16 and 65 are economically inactive. 27% of those are students. 22% of those are stay at home parents or full time unpaid caters. 13% have taken early retirement.

Only 12% said there was some other reason for their economic inactivity.

and we have the highest disability rates on the planet

No we don’t. Our levels of disability are around the world average of around 15%. And almost half of our disabled population are of pension age. Of the working age disabled people, half of them are in employment. Disabled people make up 26% of the 1/5th you cited.

I just watched the documentary. Unfortunately, they took a real life problem but used poor examples to make/back up their points. Instead of making it factual, they make it emotive and I think this is why people are raising questions.

You would need to see the full financial breakdowns for each family, not drip feed. It might have been better if they focused on two stories and really explored all the issues effecting each family. The family with the 75 mile commute and loss making shop could have been left out. The main issue there was poor business planning.

I would liked to have heard more about how the nurse ended up as a single parent. I totally understand why she was part time but was she pursuing a claim for child support? What were the other bills she was paying It was too vague. It could have led to a nice piece about the CMS and is it fit for purpose.

The other family with the lady who worked at the art gallery and the 3 young children could have led to a nice piece about the rising cost of childcare and unaffordable rents, which require both parents to be in employment.

I do think there is something fundamentally wrong with how the country is being run and people not being able to cope with the rising energy prices is a consequence of this. It has been building for years and lockdown/Brexit has accelerated the decrease in living standards. In my opinion, measures to reduce fuel poverty is just sticking a band aid on it. Focusing on fuel rises is detracting away from the real issues.

Still a lot of petty wrangling and condemning of vulnerable people. I have added a screenshot from the book Nickled and Dimed its from the 90s its based in America but the universal truths are the same today.
This book opened my eyes to the poverty traps people find themselves in despite hard work.
I think we have reached this point and its easy for people to dismiss them as they would a homeless beggar.

@Angelswithflirtyfaces

Still a lot of petty wrangling and condemning of vulnerable people. I have added a screenshot from the book Nickled and Dimed its from the 90s its based in America but the universal truths are the same today. This book opened my eyes to the poverty traps people find themselves in despite hard work. I think we have reached this point and its easy for people to dismiss them as they would a homeless beggar.

I've not read The Ragged Trouser Philanthropist but it sounds similar in thrust

I would liked to have heard more about how the nurse ended up as a single parent. I totally understand why she was part time but was she pursuing a claim for child support? What were the other bills she was paying It was too vague. It could have led to a nice piece about the CMS and is it fit for purpose

How someone ends up single is neither here nor there if the result of being single is that they are plunged into poverty. It's not OK to say 'tough, you can starve' just because you left a perfectly decent man you had grown apart from anymore than it is to say 'you married him, why didn't you ask him before you married whether or not he would support his children 15 years later?' We are a rich country, no one should be choosing between heating and eating.

As for 'was she pursing a claim for child support?', there are lots of reasons why people don't. Fear and retaliation is the main one. For me, I pursued a claim for around 7 years and the CSA did nothing whatsoever for me. By the time the CSA morphed into the CMS and I had to open a new claim I had frankly lost the will with it. Chasing the CSA is, frankly, a full time job. It is stressful and upsetting and you rarely get anything other than frustrated. It has been far better for my mental health to take the £0 assessment of a working father and get on with doing my absolute best for my children myself than to phone up on a regular basis to be told nothing further had happened and nor was it likely to. Oh, and that's before I mention the £thousands that were written off because they couldn't get it from him. That's an absolute scandal.

I agree, however, it would be good to highlight the failings of the CMS but frankly, no one with any power (read: men) give one about those caring for children (read: women) single-handedly.

It really shouldn't be the case that we question why a working single parent might be struggling. It's very obvious, maintenance or no maintenance. One salary vs. two salaries, one person dealing with childcare vs. two people dealing with childcare, one person dealing with illness/appointments vs. two people dealing with illness/appointments is enough for anyone with half a brain to see that bigger picture. Simply put, we can't make people responsibly parent unless we have a massive, enormous change in how we view single parents (women). And that's not going to happen, is it? Way too much invested in the patriarchy weighted down by a good dose of misogyny.

@howtomoveforwards

I would liked to have heard more about how the nurse ended up as a single parent. I totally understand why she was part time but was she pursuing a claim for child support? What were the other bills she was paying It was too vague. It could have led to a nice piece about the CMS and is it fit for purpose

How someone ends up single is neither here nor there if the result of being single is that they are plunged into poverty. It's not OK to say 'tough, you can starve' just because you left a perfectly decent man you had grown apart from anymore than it is to say 'you married him, why didn't you ask him before you married whether or not he would support his children 15 years later?' We are a rich country, no one should be choosing between heating and eating.

As for 'was she pursing a claim for child support?', there are lots of reasons why people don't. Fear and retaliation is the main one. For me, I pursued a claim for around 7 years and the CSA did nothing whatsoever for me. By the time the CSA morphed into the CMS and I had to open a new claim I had frankly lost the will with it. Chasing the CSA is, frankly, a full time job. It is stressful and upsetting and you rarely get anything other than frustrated. It has been far better for my mental health to take the £0 assessment of a working father and get on with doing my absolute best for my children myself than to phone up on a regular basis to be told nothing further had happened and nor was it likely to. Oh, and that's before I mention the £thousands that were written off because they couldn't get it from him. That's an absolute scandal.

I agree, however, it would be good to highlight the failings of the CMS but frankly, no one with any power (read: men) give one about those caring for children (read: women) single-handedly.

It really shouldn't be the case that we question why a working single parent might be struggling. It's very obvious, maintenance or no maintenance. One salary vs. two salaries, one person dealing with childcare vs. two people dealing with childcare, one person dealing with illness/appointments vs. two people dealing with illness/appointments is enough for anyone with half a brain to see that bigger picture. Simply put, we can't make people responsibly parent unless we have a massive, enormous change in how we view single parents (women). And that's not going to happen, is it? Way too much invested in the patriarchy weighted down by a good dose of misogyny.

Your last paragraph was perfect, the conclusion was illogical.

Actually, I think we should be questioning why a person is parenting as a singleton and why the other parent is not contributing. I wondered why this had happened in her case as you can not assume that she had a partner previously, some women use IVF, others for various reasons choose not to inform the father. There is a negative impact for the children concerned. In this case the oldest child was pretending not to be hungry, you could see it on her face. If the CMS service is not hunting down those responsible that is something should be dealt with immediately, considering the cost of living is increasing. Maintenance can be collected directly from salaries protecting those from violent partners and non payers. It should not be OK that someone can start a family and then walk away with little responsibility. A few posts suggested that she should increase her hours but with high childcare costs, this may not be viable. However, if she was getting the correct maintenance that could go some way to improve the living standards for the children. Maybe if more absent parents contributed to their children upkeep then additional funds could be redirected to those who have lost partners through bereavement or domestic violence. We need to change the mindset that is all on one person.

The more I think about it the more this programme irritates me. Far too many details were assumed. Playing on emotions instead of facts will not solve anything.