I hate dummies !!!

[EsmeDavina]

I have a real hatred for toddlers with dummies! It actually irks me so much.

I totally get there is a time and place for dummies to soothe and settle babies.

My own son had a dummy as a newborn but I took it off him/he gave it up at around 6 months.

I could not bear for him to be one of these children you see with a dummy you cannot part them from.

My friends children his age still have dummies and every photograph you see of them they have this unsightly thing plugged in their mouths.

Even when we are out, they are given the dummy for no reason. Not upset, not settling to sleep just automatically put in the mouth.

I never used to have such a thing about dummies until I became a mum and I don't know why they annoy me so much 😂 !!

I know it's stupid because they aren't my children however does it bother anyone else as much ?

Hey OP ever heard that saying that goes "opinions are like arseholes..."

ODFOD.

@Giraffesandbottoms: I particularly hate watching a newborn rooting for its mother’s breast and having a piece of plastic shoved in despite trying to push it out

You know, sometimes the newborn will be rooting for the breast because it needs to suck something. And just sometimes, it's better for a newborn not to take more milk in when it sucks (I really wish someone had told me about the need to suck 22 years and 3 months ago...)

Neither of mine used them, by the way. S1 was completely uninterested, and S2 treated them as Yet Another Type of Teether. (He would, however, suck on my finger, which quite possibly saved my sanity.) And I Exclusively BreastFed till 4 months (as was the guidance at the time) and as exclusive milk till gone 2.

I hate them in kids old enough to talk. A friends son still has one a lot at 2.5. it's almost never out of his mouth and he has a terrible dummy shaped gap in his teeth. Basically if he makes a fuss about anything or has a tantrum the dummy gets plugged straight into his mouth.

@Giraffesandbottoms

Bleurgh you aren’t alone they are pretty awful, but as PPs said there are some children with SEN who need them. Or premature babies. But these are in the minority. But then you had one until 6 months for your babies and I think that’s not very nice either so 😃🤷🏻‍♀️ I particularly hate watching a newborn rooting for its mother’s breast and having a piece of plastic shoved in despite trying to push it out.

But this is MN where no one breastfeeds and everyone uses a dummy so it’s a terrible opinion to have. I only know a couple of people IRL who don’t use dummies. But I think they look awful.

Really? Is this something you watch and stare at? You look at a newborn rooting for a breast? Really?

I find your grammar unsightly, EsmeDavina.

@EsmeDavina

😂 aw I do love the keyboard warriors.

Takes one to know one 🙄

I do get what you mean ( and this is coming from a mother who has a daily dummy battle with her DC). I don't think a two year old needs to be running around soft play or the park with one in mouth, however I also know how hard it is to argue with a toddler about it when you have places to be!

I will not be making the same mistakes with the dummy again with my second born!

You'd hate me then, both my DC had dummies.

@AHungryCaterpillar i have 2 ds 1st ds had a dummy , 2nd ds just didn't take one
No issues removing dummy we just took it and my eldest ds was sucking thumb otherwise , well i can remove a dummy but not a thumb
We just took it away when he was about 18 months or so but he only had it for sleeping
But some kids do need the comfort of ones and some don't , some mums also need the comfort and break it brings

you know, sometimes the newborn will be rooting for the breast because it needs to suck something. And just sometimes, it's better for a newborn not to take more milk in when it sucks isnt that the whole point of non nutritive sucking where they are at the breast but don't take more milk?

I don't feel as strongly about them as you do, but I am on the same wavelength as you. I hate seeing what dummies do to their poor teeth. You can immediately spot a regular dummy using toddler by their curved teeth, and it's such a shame for them. It's not their fault, that's their comfort, but the reality is that they cause dental issues.

I have friends/people on my Facebook whose children genuinely have a dummy shaped whole in their smile/between their teeth, because their teeth have had to grow around the dummy that's permanently in their mouth.

@OfstedOffred

you know, sometimes the newborn will be rooting for the breast because it needs to suck something. And just sometimes, it's better for a newborn not to take more milk in when it sucks isnt that the whole point of non nutritive sucking where they are at the breast but don't take more milk?

Absolutely. I think it's relatively easy to avoid using a dummy if you're not keen on them if you're breastfeeding as you can meet the need for both nutritive and non nutritive sucking without even having to think about it. I can see how if you are formula feeding a dummy would be very useful, and probably essential if you've got a baby with a strong need to suck.

he has a terrible dummy shaped gap in his teeth.

What the hec is a 'dummy shaped gap'? Never ever seen one of those!!! Blimey!!! 🤣🤣 My son who used a dummy til 4/5 has beautiful teeth!! And is very articulate! I'm the one with a massive gap in my front teeth due to my judgemental mother thinking dummies are awful and forcing me to suck my thumb instead - a habit it took a loooong time to drop (you can't just throw a thumb away...)

@ParkheadParadise

I loved dummies. Especially when my dd's learned to put them back in their mouths by themselves.

I wish there was a like button

None of mine had a dummy - I did try DS with one as he was a thumb sucker & I thought at least the dummy could be removed cutting his thumb off would he frowned upon but he refused it. Thankfully he grew out of the thumb sucking by himself but he has a permanent scar across his nose as he would also scratch with his index finger while sucking which could have been avoided if he'd taken to the dummy.

So while I don't think all babies need them I do think some babies do & it's nothing to do with me of those babies aren't mine.

Very judgemental

@MrsAvocet i breastfed and still my ds bad a dummy as you know sometimes I needed a break also
People really need to parent to what suits them as ling as its safe etc, its hard being a mum and the judgement from others makes it al do much harder

@HardbackWriter

I never used to have such a thing about dummies until I became a mum and I don't know why they annoy me so much 😂 !!

I know, I know! It's because you're fundamentally insecure as a human being so find petty things that make you feel that you're better than others so that you can momentarily feel less inadequate! Hope that helps!

(no, neither of my children had dummies as toddlers before you ask)

This. My child was born very ill and spent time in NICU. They gave her a dummy- presumably because she had no other source of comfort and was alone in an incubator with no one to hold her and in pain. By the time she was passed into my care she was addicted to her dummy. She’s almost three and still asks for it all the time. I do my very best to limit it no to bed and nap times , but sometimes when she’s really upset , unwell, tired etc she begs for it. She uses it to soothe - it’s a huge source of comfort to her. Am I supposed to deny my toddler her source of comfort because you find it unsightly? I have felt so judged by my family, nursery, everyone , to the point where I ended up pushing her too hard to give it up , and made us both utterly miserable for weeks in the process. It only made things worse. I shall now be taking a much more gentle approach to phasing it out in the interests of my child’s emotional well-being. Sorry if that’s so annoying for you.

@TokenGinger

I don't feel as strongly about them as you do, but I am on the same wavelength as you. I hate seeing what dummies do to their poor teeth. You can immediately spot a regular dummy using toddler by their curved teeth, and it's such a shame for them. It's not their fault, that's their comfort, but the reality is that they cause dental issues.

I have friends/people on my Facebook whose children genuinely have a dummy shaped whole in their smile/between their teeth, because their teeth have had to grow around the dummy that's permanently in their mouth.

Pics or it didn't happen.

I think it depends on the child doesn’t it? I breast fed DD1 until 2.5, she didn’t have a dummy. I’m exclusively breast feeding DD2, and she has a dummy. She also has severe reflux and needs to comfort suck for about 15 minutes after each feed. With DD1 I could have sat with her on the boob all day. But with DD2, in order to be a decent mum to DD1 I can’t.

For example - I feed DD2 when she wakes, but on a school day she then has to have the dummy for the comfort sucking, or DD1 would be late for school. Sometimes you have to look at the wider family’s needs too.

[quote worriedatthistime]@MrsAvocet i breastfed and still my ds bad a dummy as you know sometimes I needed a break also
People really need to parent to what suits them as ling as its safe etc, its hard being a mum and the judgement from others makes it al do much harder[/quote]
Did I say you shouldn't? Your baby, your choice.
But it doesn't alter the biological fact that a baby can suckle at the breast without triggering a let down so they get minimal milk, and the same doesn't apply to bottles. So a breastfeeding mother who, for whatever reason, doesn't wish to use a dummy is likely to find it easier than a bottle feeding mother who doesn't want to use a dummy. If you don't mind using a dummy it's obviously not relevant to you.
My point was actually that a bottle feeding mother who has a baby with a strong need to suck probably has no alternative but to use a dummy so bf mums need to be careful about criticism because they do have an alternative, and can let their baby switch between nutritive and non nutritive sucking at will if they wish.

Yeah I don't think it's amazing on toddlers.

But people who don't even like them on babies are a bit ridiculous.

Re comforting sucking - it’s pretty difficult in the beginning tomorrow when a baby is comfort sucking vs needs milk. Which is why dummies can be attributed to poor weight gain - if you are just giving them the dummy when they are actually hungry they are not getting the milk they need but won’t be complaining. With breastmilk anyway, it’s also unhelpful for the supply and demand stimulation for milk in the early days. Not relevant for bottle feeders I suppose.

*to know, not tomorrow

Have you ever considered just minding your own fucking business?

@ManateeFair

Have you ever considered just minding your own fucking business?

Looool