To end a friendship due to his use of sex workers?

[Cornishjam1162]

It has recently come to light that a friend of 15 years is a regular customer of sex workers. We have always wondered why he never wanted to date again after getting a divorce and now it makes sense. I would have never had him down as the type and I'm shocked to say the least. I don't know the circumstances behind why the women do that line of work but there's always the risk that they're not doing it out of their own free will isn't there? I feel like he could well be exploiting vulnerable women.

Would you end a friendship over this? Am I being too judgemental?

"pays to spend time with a woman' what a polite euphemism for 'pays to stick his dick in the orififices of humans he sees as lesser sex object and who he has no idea of their personal circumstances and whether they have suffered coercion, abuse, trauma or trafficking" aka rapist in my book.

And I'm as far from being a prude, a conservative or a housewife that you could possibly get, but I get that it makes men who use prostitutes (the correct word, not 'sex workers') (or the few women that are participating in it willingly and deluding themselves that what they are doing isnt damaging to women) feel better about their choices.

@Hawkins001 - does it give you some kind of comfort to nitpick instead of empathise, or do you genuinely believe that you are better informed than Streetlight?

You chose to jump on what you wrongly saw as a "gotcha" moment from the UK commentary, but didn't bother to comment on the shocking Amsterdam findings. Why is that?

I'm not a prude either. How could I be? I've had sex with literally thousands of men. That's thousands of penises in me, anything prudish or naive got hammered out of me sharpish.
They don't pay to spend time with you- the overwhelming majority are married or have girlfriends they could spend time with. They pay you to not say No. They pay because it means they can do what they want.
If they wanted, there are plenty of ways to meet women for sex that you don't have to pay for. But they don't. They pay the ones who can't say no and who can't complain and can't, very often, report abuse or injury to the police.

From a statistical analysis perspectives only , I clicked on the streetlight link and read the information, that's when I made the point that their was no other information to source the number of people for the 9/10 figure.

And when brooke magnanti did her Oxford university talk, she spoke about it's good to consider the facts, figures and information that's relevant,

m.youtube.com/watch?v=noJBWqua9Hk
m.youtube.com/watch?v=jZFDBkn9KB4

My friends husband used sex workers or whatever thr kind words to use are now .
He is disgusting and also has two teen daughters!!
She has no clue ! 🙄🙄

Might as she is an ex friend ! I can't look either of them in the eye !

As for the Amsterdam figures those need more analysis to explain the context rather than just going on the 80% without more context or understanding.

He uses prostitutes. He's a skank. I wouldn't be friends with him. It's that simple.

My personal perspectives are it's down to the individual of the legal choices they make.

When an activity is illegal then their needs to be effective enforcement of the laws, and protection for people when and where it's needed.

When it's illegal? It makes no odds to the women whether it's legal or not - coercion is coercion, 'legal' or not.
Legalising it in Amsterdam increased organised crime to the point where 80% of prostitutes were trafficked.

Maybe the implications of that fact might hit home if you were less concerned with flaunting your intellectual credentials with "statistical analysis perspectives only", & read up on a woman's actual experience, & her knowledge of how very many of her peers were similarly robbed of their agency & "choice", @Hawkins001 - www.amazon.co.uk/Slave-Girl-Sarah-Forsyth/dp/1844546853

Hawkins is so a man that uses prostitutes right?

Does it bother you that most women, including the ones whose bodies you rent, look down on you for it and think you're pathetic and/or scum?

Can you explain your logic please as to how you arrived at that conclusion ?

Even if they are doing it of their own volition, in the sense that they are not trafficked - unless he knows they would sleep with him without him paying them, it's not consent.

Why don't you answer my question first?

From a legal, personal and historical perspective, I would never use such a service, as in this day and age, the sex trade, should never need to exist to begin with.

I thought you were ok with it as long as it not illegal?

It's a trade that in this day and age, should never need to exist to begin with, but it's up to the individual of the legal choices that they choose to make. As I'm not a law maker, nor a politician so how would I be able to influence a person's legal choices that they may make ?

How is it that, despite the evidence, you are still glossing over the fact that most female prostitutes are NOT making a "choice", @Hawkins001 ?
Let alone a "legal" one?

No buyer, no market.

Teach yours sons well.

Because I've not studied the information in-depth to such a degree, that I could offer a qualified analysis on your perspectives.

As taught in part of the Oxford tutorials, you need to be able to backup all your perspectives with detailed sources for your information and points made, and I have not studied the sources that are available in depth enough that would make a detailed analysis.

@ErmIDontKnow
I cant speak for everyone but the group of woman I know dont do it to survive. Its extra money that we dont need to pay tax on. I spent 4 hours with a man the other day, we chatted for 3 1/2 hours of that and had sex for maybe 15 minutes. I got £500 for those 4 hours 🤷‍♀️ why would I want a career when I can make £1000 in a day from spending most of my day just talking?

Did ye aye? 🙄

People as things, that's where evil begins. Reducing a fellow human being to an object, a consumable. And if you believe these "clients" of yours see you as anything other than plumbing, you are seriously deluded.

Isn't it funny how so much that is promoted as empowering to women, somehow ends up serving men?

Because I've not studied the information in-depth to such a degree, that I could offer a qualified analysis on your perspectives.

They're not my "perspectives", @Hawkins001. They're facts.

If you could be so kind and provide a detailed list of your sources of information please, that confirms your assertion, that they are facts, I can then learn more and gain a better understanding and analysis.