Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheeky request to buy parents house - AIBU?

585 replies

SewingMum46 · 11/04/2022 07:03

My DPs still live in the same house they built when first married in the 60s. It’s in quite a nice area and because DF is an amazing gardener has a lovely garden which can be seen through the gate. It’s split level so although DM has some mobility problems and is quite frail, it still works for them. They’d only leave if something happened to one of them.
They got a card through the door last week with a message that basically said this couple who live in a very posh house up a very posh street nearby want to downsize because their kids have left home, so please would they consider selling their house to them? It included something along the lines of “Of course we’d pay full market value but it would be good to avoid those annoying estate agents fees”. It was handwritten with the name and address of the couple.
I feel it’s a bit cheeky and tbh on the verge of being entitled. DPs don’t know these people at all - they said in the card they’ve “always thought the house is lovely” and now they’ve decided it would suit them better as their “current property is on 4 floors”.
DF hasn’t shown the card to DM. I told him to ignore it but hold onto it. He’s adamant that if he sold to them it would be above market value, but he doesn’t want to sell - it would be up to DB and me to sell the house after they are gone.
What would you feel if this happened to your DPs? I find it really upsetting.

OP posts:
darklady64 · 11/04/2022 08:39

While it isn't an uncommon thing to do, I think it's a bit disconcerting when you haven't come across it before and are already worried about your parents. But the ball is in your parents' court and they can either just bin it, keep it for future reference, or reply and say no thanks.

The bit about "of course" they'd pay full market value and the "annoying estate agents fees" would annoy me though. I'm not sure why - feels a bit presumptuous, maybe?

Try not to worry about it and hope your mum feels better soon.

YouOKHun · 11/04/2022 08:41

@SewingMum46

Maybe I should have mentioned DM has been suffering from cancer and is very frail, DF is her carer and very independent. It almost feels like they’ve seen them and thought “they’ll be going into a home soon”. Of course it’s not unreasonable to think a house is lovely and wish it were yours, but wouldn’t you wait for a “For Sale” sign to go up?
Sorry your DM isn’t well firstly and most importantly. However “it almost feels like” is a construct in your own head. The chances are they’ve gone past your DP’s house and thought, ‘lovely house, lovely garden, it would be perfect for us. Let’s drop them a line in case they’re ever thinking of selling’. In putting a note through the door they have done what thousands of people have done. If it’s a 1960s house on a good plot in a good area your DPs may also get notes through the door from developers who will do what they did to my grandmother’s house (1960s house in lovely garden) which was demolish it and the garden, building some massive palace in its place. If ever they do sell far better to sell to serious people who love it, can afford it and want to cut out EA costs.
Octomore · 11/04/2022 08:41

I'm very surprised your parents' house isn't listed on Zoopla. They use postcodes and addresses - if a house is known by Royal Mail and the land registry, it should be on there, regardless of whether the road is secluded or it hasn't been sold recently. Brand new builds are sometimes an exception.

ExplodingElephants · 11/04/2022 08:41

People have the right to ask, just as your parents have the right to say no. I don’t see the problem here.

Goldbar · 11/04/2022 08:42

I'm sorry that your DM is unwell Flowers.

I wouldn't view this as cheeky. They want to buy your parents' house and they're making an enquiry as to whether your parents might be interested in selling. Your parents can totally ignore it - they don't have to take any action.

TeaAndStrumpets · 11/04/2022 08:42

OP I'll bet you a fiver the house has been investigated via Google Earth, rather than people peering over the hedge. We get notes quite often, because we have a massive garden which is very ripe for development. We do have planning permission for a couple of plots down the garden, in case we ever do want to sell.

godmum56 · 11/04/2022 08:43

The timing is unfortunate but that's life.I don't think they knew and I don't think its cheeky but I am sorry that it was upsetting.
I have had several of these and also an offer to buy my car. I just bin them. I think the market value thing is intended to reassure your parents that they aren't sharks. I am not sure why you would think the note writers are entitled?
Of course if they get pushy you might intervene but now as i said, bin and forget.

RustyShackleford3 · 11/04/2022 08:43

My house is quite shitty and I get people posting notes through the door asking if we want to sell. Totally normal and not a reason to get upset.

CoalTit · 11/04/2022 08:43

doesn't give them the right to post notes, though
Posting notes? How very dare they?
I love finding this kind of completely random indignation on mumsnet.

This is the best instance of it that I've seen since the OP who took umbrage because a potential employee let slip at interview that he had done the research on her company and knew it was solvent.

minniep · 11/04/2022 08:43

That's how my sister bought her house. Her seller also avoided estate agent fees. It's a perfectly normal thing to do. You are definitely over reacting. They obviously have a lovely house in a really nice area and it would probably be snapped up on the open market.

MargosKaftan · 11/04/2022 08:44

It is unlikely anything to do with your mum, but given that I can see why you have reacted so strongly to this.

Its more likely this couple do want to downsize to a property more suited to their needs and can't find anything in your parents area. If they are facing moving a long distance away, they might think they'd kick themselves if they bought a house in an area they didn't like as much, then 2/3 months later your parents or another house more suitable for them in your parents' area went on the market. I could definitely see in that situation youd put a flyer through the door of every house you'd rather have just in case they were debating selling.

GreenClock · 11/04/2022 08:45

Your dad has a lot on his plate and for the sake of his health I think you’d be wise to reassure him that it’s normal practice. Hopefully he’ll calm down a bit then. He’s in a tizzy about this for no reason.

I’m sorry about your mum. Tough times OP. Take care.

Iamkmackered1979 · 11/04/2022 08:45

They are looking to downsize in the area they live and there’s perhaps not much on the market so trying to see if anyone is interested in moving. I very much doubt they know who lives there or your parents circumstances. It’s a business deal for a house. If they aren’t interested they ignore it. My parents house sold recently via word of mouth it was all ready to be sold just not on the market so a mention to the right person who were looking for a bungalow in the area and it’s just about to complete. Bit different but you have to seize opportunities and put yourself out there which is what this couple are doing.
Difficult but don’t take it so personally, your parents have a nice house. It’s your parents choice if they move or not not yours until the house is yours via a will.

godmum56 · 11/04/2022 08:45

@TeaAndStrumpets

OP I'll bet you a fiver the house has been investigated via Google Earth, rather than people peering over the hedge. We get notes quite often, because we have a massive garden which is very ripe for development. We do have planning permission for a couple of plots down the garden, in case we ever do want to sell.
oh that's interesting...I have got a large very private garden too. Can't get PP on it because its surrounded by other gardens with no access but I wonder if that's why I get the notes. Its the biggest plot on the estate and one of the least overlooked but tucked away, you can't see it unless you know the estate.
BluKorner · 11/04/2022 08:46

I’m with you on this OP. My parents have had a note like this so I know it’s common, but there’s something off about targeting an elderly couple.

FleeceNavidadfromtheSheep · 11/04/2022 08:46

@Octomore

I'm very surprised your parents' house isn't listed on Zoopla. They use postcodes and addresses - if a house is known by Royal Mail and the land registry, it should be on there, regardless of whether the road is secluded or it hasn't been sold recently. Brand new builds are sometimes an exception.
Many are not listed. See my previous posts. I am curious about how Zoopla determine what is listed.
godmum56 · 11/04/2022 08:47

I'd actually love it if someone offered to buy my house at the right time. Its a bit of a fixer upper at the moment and getting it market ready is going to be a slog

godmum56 · 11/04/2022 08:49

@BluKorner

I’m with you on this OP. My parents have had a note like this so I know it’s common, but there’s something off about targeting an elderly couple.
define elderly? I am almost 70 and I'd be delighted if I wanted to sell.
Folklore9074 · 11/04/2022 08:49

Why upsetting? They can ask, your folks can say no. No harm, no foul. Bit of an overreaction to a reasonable enquiry. If they were indeed thinking of selling and did so without estate agents they'd save thousands. Just ignore if you/they aren't interested.

Original poster
SewingMum46 · 11/04/2022 08:49

@FleeceNavidadfromtheSheep

Have you checked Zoopla recently? Does a property appear if someone submits a valuation request?
Yes, I checked on ZOOPLA. The closest listing is at least half a mile away.
OP posts:
purplecorkheart · 11/04/2022 08:50

It happens regularly enough where I live. A couple of houses sold that way.

ancientgran · 11/04/2022 08:50

I can't see the problem. If your parents were thinking of selling they might love the idea of not paying estate agent fees as they would benefit from that not the buyer plus no photos, no viewings etc. They don't want to sell so just forget it.

Butfirstcoffees · 11/04/2022 08:50

@SewingMum46

Maybe I should have mentioned DM has been suffering from cancer and is very frail, DF is her carer and very independent. It almost feels like they’ve seen them and thought “they’ll be going into a home soon”. Of course it’s not unreasonable to think a house is lovely and wish it were yours, but wouldn’t you wait for a “For Sale” sign to go up?
But you have just made that bit up.

Its understandable as you are very worried about your parental health. But you have made up these assumptions.

Houses are bought like this all the time.

timestheyarechanging · 11/04/2022 08:50

It's normal! I'm buying a place without estate agents. My friend knew that the landlord was going to sell the flat once her tenant moved out (she'd given notice). My friend gave me her number, I called her and arranged a viewing and the sale is going through. It never even went on the market. Saves her EA fees.

Evoll671 · 11/04/2022 08:50

Very dramatic response from you. Lots of people do it, it's not entitled or cheeky at all.

Swipe left for the next trending thread