Cheeky request to buy parents house - AIBU?

[SewingMum46]

My DPs still live in the same house they built when first married in the 60s. It’s in quite a nice area and because DF is an amazing gardener has a lovely garden which can be seen through the gate. It’s split level so although DM has some mobility problems and is quite frail, it still works for them. They’d only leave if something happened to one of them.
They got a card through the door last week with a message that basically said this couple who live in a very posh house up a very posh street nearby want to downsize because their kids have left home, so please would they consider selling their house to them? It included something along the lines of “Of course we’d pay full market value but it would be good to avoid those annoying estate agents fees”. It was handwritten with the name and address of the couple.
I feel it’s a bit cheeky and tbh on the verge of being entitled. DPs don’t know these people at all - they said in the card they’ve “always thought the house is lovely” and now they’ve decided it would suit them better as their “current property is on 4 floors”.
DF hasn’t shown the card to DM. I told him to ignore it but hold onto it. He’s adamant that if he sold to them it would be above market value, but he doesn’t want to sell - it would be up to DB and me to sell the house after they are gone.
What would you feel if this happened to your DPs? I find it really upsetting.

Absolutely normal-that’s how my parents sold their house and downsized-saved a fortune in fees.

The only thing odd here is you finding it ‘really upsetting’-that such a strange response!

I think someone who's elderly and wanted to downsize would be glad of a note like that. The thought of approaching an estate agent and having hordes of people traipsing through their home would be very stressful. Basically that person is saying, "If you ever do want to move, I'll make it really easy for you." Put a positive spin on it!

@Zonder

We had one last week from a local estate agent that said they have had interest in our house from a customer so would we like to sell. That was a new one on me.

yes, I get those too....often they are not entirely true ie the EA hasn't really had interested from a specific person or for a specific house but someone has been asking about availabilty of houses on the estate I live on.

@Shinyandnew1

Absolutely normal-that’s how my parents sold their house and downsized-saved a fortune in fees.

The only thing odd here is you finding it ‘really upsetting’-that such a strange response!

no I get it could be upsetting in the OP's circs...but I am equally sure that wasn't the intention.

I was absolutely livid, wondered what the hell they thought about me - did they think I couldn't afford my mortgage!

Their offer was a bit odd, but this is a VERY weird thing to read into it!

I was absolutely livid, wondered what the hell they thought about me - did they think I couldn't afford my mortgage!

How on earth did you read that into it?

‘Very upsetting’
Really?

I'd be delighted to receive a note like this! In our street houses rarely come up for sale, and we are on the seafront, so it would not seem weird at all to me.

I don’t understand why u are upset, my mum gets this a few times a year. It means that you won’t have any problems selling it. I would send them a note back and keep it for future when u may sell it.

I agree OP. I know it is a 'normal' thing to do and quite often encouraged, but I find it really entitled too. And quite presumptuous. You wouldn't do it with anything else. You wouldn't put flyers on car windscreens saying "I really like your car, want to sell?" Or stop someone in the street and ask to buy something they're wearing/carrying.

Estate agent ones I don't find so bad, it's not personal then, just a tactic to get more houses on their books.

Lots of people do it. The housing market is mad, and they're right, if it saves fees for everyone concerned then why not?!

It’s neither entitled or presumptious, it’s a question, not a demand. And plenty of people have bought and sold like this, it can be very beneficial for all parties if the seller is actually considering selling. If they are not then a simple bin it is the answer.

We have had these hand written notes twice. Most likely because we live on end house in cul des sac and it faces outwards. We just throw in bin. Think of it as a compliment to your parents house and all work your Dad has done in his garden. No one can make your parents sell. They must know that.

We posted notes like this through the letterboxes of all the cottages on (what is now our!) road, because we were desperate to move here. It worked! The older lady who owned our house had been thinking about moving to something without stairs and she saw our note as a sign We spoke quite a bit on the phone, she did some research on the value of the house and so did we, and we went to the nearby pub for a glass of wine to agree on a price we were all happy with - including her son. She ended up moving out before her new place was ready so we stored a lot of her stuff until she was settled…including her chickens 😂 notes like this are not always nefarious.

I’d take it as a compliment

I have literally had a note left on my vehicle asking if I would sell it!

(Sorry that was in reply to poster who said it wouldn't happen with a car)

@LeastofLeicester

I agree OP. I know it is a 'normal' thing to do and quite often encouraged, but I find it really entitled too. And quite presumptuous. You wouldn't do it with anything else. You wouldn't put flyers on car windscreens saying "I really like your car, want to sell?" Or stop someone in the street and ask to buy something they're wearing/carrying.

Estate agent ones I don't find so bad, it's not personal then, just a tactic to get more houses on their books.

People with unusual cars, or unusual antiques on display etc. DO get approached with enquiries about sale.

It wouldn't happen with a Ford Modeo, but it does happen with unusual items.

@Lavenderlid

I have literally had a note left on my vehicle asking if I would sell it!

I've been stopped 3x by people and asked face to face if I wanted to sell my car. According to dh it's sought after,I thought it was an old banger

The entitlement of them! I would contact eh sender and ask them to leave your old folks alone and not contact them again. If the house were ever to be sale in the future, it will go on the open market.

@SewingMum46

It’s the wording really - “Of course we’d pay full market value but avoid estate agents fees”. DPs aren’t particularly aware of the value of the house, they were surprised when they asked me how much it might be worth. It also felt a bit like they were being watched.

I think that bit of the note is more trying to sell the idea of a private sale as mutually beneficial. As you say they know nothing about your parents and are just keen to find a lovely house. We aren't planning on selling currently but when we do there is a road I want to live on so I will probably leaflet drop all the houses. Estate agebts send out flyers saying we're looking for properties in your area all the time and this is the same thing. Although they've gone for a gushing personal story which I'd probably avoid.

We got one of these notes last week, just binned it. We're in our 50's with school age dc still at home, I'm sure they don't think I'm ready for a home yet.

@SewingMum46

Maybe I should have mentioned DM has been suffering from cancer and is very frail, DF is her carer and very independent. It almost feels like they’ve seen them and thought “they’ll be going into a home soon”. Of course it’s not unreasonable to think a house is lovely and wish it were yours, but wouldn’t you wait for a “For Sale” sign to go up?

Are you not reading the responses?

People do this all the time. They really do. It's not targeted at individuals; it's targeted at houses, streets, neighbourhoods, etc. It helps people find a house in an area they are desperate to live in/stay in AND avoid a bidding war AND avoid estate agency fees.

Even estate agents send out mass mailings of postcards to neighbourhoods streets actively searching out people thinking of selling up because they have loads of potential buyers desperately looking.

I think the people who take this personally all seem to be inferring far more from the enquiry than is actually there. Believe me - other people are not as interested in you or your circumstances as you think they are.

99% of the time, they are not secretly judging whether you can afford your mortgage, or speculating when you will go into a care home - they are simply interested in the house and are making you aware in case you did want to sell.

I have 2 friends who have bought houses this way.

The first one put a card through the letterbox of a house they loved in their village. The owners rang them the next day to say they were about to sell so that was done really quickly and smoothly.

The second one started off the other way round as somebody put a card through her door saying they wanted to downsize if my friend wanted to sell. However they ended up swapping houses as both loved each other’s houses, although obviously for proper value on each!