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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

iPads!! Too much??

113 replies

TayceOnToast · 09/04/2022 13:29

My 5 year old stepson has had his own iPad since he was 3, possibly younger. He is on it every day, sometimes for several hours and it feels kind of outrageous to me. I feel like it’s way too much for a child this young, and that he should be spending much more time playing with real toys, developing fine motor skills and flexing his imagination.

I want to get a feel for what is “normal” in other people’s houses. Maybe I need to just chill out and get with the times since we’ll all probably be playing out our lives in a simulated universe soon anyway. I’m totally addicted to my phone so maybe it’s hypocritical of me to criticise his screen time.

So, my questions are:

Do you have a child aged 5 or under in your house?

Do they have their own iPad?

How much time are they allowed on it?

AIBU?!?!

Thanks

OP posts:

HeDidWhattt · 09/04/2022 13:32

Yes I have a 6 year old who has an iPad.
During winter they can go on it as much as they like providing homework is done and the bedroom is tidy.
I’m spring and summer it’s limited to any time after 7pm.

Tech is the way we are moving towards so don’t feel it a disadvantage that they know their way around devices from a young age.

Elpheba · 09/04/2022 13:37

Grandparents bought an iPad each for my DC (they did check first!) they are 4 and 6. They genuinely seem to self regulate- they use it in the morning over breakfast. Usually a bit after tea. It turns off at 6pm. I never say they can’t use it (unless we have a friend over) but their average screen time per day according to the app is 90 mins. That’s an average over a week so usually it’s less on a week day and more on a weekend.
They’re a godsend on long journeys. Our house rule is no YouTube on iPads- that seems to be too hard for them to turn off and they get sucked in. So watching a YouTube vid would only be done on tv with a parent so it doesn’t happen often. On the iPads they have Netflix/prime/iPlayer/Disney and various kids games.

Vsirbdo · 09/04/2022 13:37

My 5 year old has an tablet which really we only bought due to lockdown. On a school day I’d say she spends barely any time on it; if she gets ready quickly enough in the morning she might be allowed 10 minutes.
On weekends it might be an hour or so but not normally all at once; bit of time while I’m getting ready for example, bit of time after lunch and a bit before bed. We don’t limit it but if she’s been on it a while I’ll start a different activity with her so she chooses to come off

makesomeart · 09/04/2022 13:56

At 3 my DD wasn't on technology like that but she would watch some tv but most of the time she was playing or we were out and about. She's 9 now and has a phone (an old one of mine - just to connect to wifi and play games and watch YouTube etc, she can't make calls etc) and she would sit on it all day if I'd let her. I don't mind it so much in winter but now the sun is shining I've been sending her out with her friends/ doing more activities. I don't even know if my DD or my niece would have sat that long at 3 on an iPad.

Imsittinginthekitchensink · 09/04/2022 13:59

I'm quite hardcore in terms of tech and refused to give mine any such thing until she was at secondary school. Kids are in front of screens all bloody day in school, she didn't need it at home too.

Mariposista · 09/04/2022 14:14

@Imsittinginthekitchensink

I'm quite hardcore in terms of tech and refused to give mine any such thing until she was at secondary school. Kids are in front of screens all bloody day in school, she didn't need it at home too.

I totally agree with you. No screens until at least 12, and only then if they need them for homework. Not allowed to touch mine either.

ThisUserIsNamed · 09/04/2022 14:23

@Imsittinginthekitchensink

I'm quite hardcore in terms of tech and refused to give mine any such thing until she was at secondary school. Kids are in front of screens all bloody day in school, she didn't need it at home too.

This ^

What does his father think about it? How about no screens at your house?

Goldenbunny · 09/04/2022 14:24

My DS 5 don't have an iPad he would just break it.
We did buy him an Android tablet when he was 4 but that got broken within a few days.
Dd 15 had an Android tablet when she was 4 to play games on when we was out she didn't use it everyday.

ThisUserIsNamed · 09/04/2022 14:26

P.s.
My 5 year old does not have a tablet, she uses dinolingo on mine for Spanish for up to 10 -15 ish minutes in the morning most days. She watches a film or something about once a week.

OutingHobby · 09/04/2022 14:30

I'm a stepmum, my DSC have a tablet and it's awful.to have watched their enthusiasm for reading and arts and crafts be almost destroyed overnight by it. I don't get involved though, their parents aren't bothered by it.

OutingHobby · 09/04/2022 14:31

My own DC isn't getting one until late primary school unless there's an educational need for it

FloodTheBathroom · 09/04/2022 14:34

My DC is 4 and uses my iPad for watching YouTube. I absolutely hate YouTube but it's ended up being the best way for everyone to be happy. He does get a bit addicted to it so I just leave th battery flat for a few days. He's watched a bit today and is keenly crafting now not thinking about it. I do agree it's modern life but that children should be encouraged towards a range of activities as well.

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 09/04/2022 14:34

People give their 5-year-olds tablets???

I have a 4.5-yo, and she keeps herself amply busy with colouring, Lego, dolls, and running around outside. I can’t think of when or why she would need a tablet, other than for Virtual Kindergarten during lockdown, but then she used my DH’s old laptop and did just fine. (Well, “fine”… online kindergarten is inherently ridiculous, but that’s another thread!)

Mrsdoubtfireswig · 09/04/2022 14:35

4 year old, uses my iPad to either watch Netflix on (cocomelon, fireman Sam etc) or play pre school games. Only use it at weekends, maybe half an hour at a time or so whilst making lunch / tea or doing house work. Some weekends used a lot say if we’re at home a lot and the weathers bad, other weekends when we’re out hardly at all

Ponoka7 · 09/04/2022 14:36

My GC had kindles from 2, iPads from 4. They've always had lots of toys, go to dance and today and tomorrow will be out all day, which is the norm. It's about getting the balance.
Has his Dad always had toys at his house? Does he take him out a lot when he has him? Ultimately it's upto the child's parents.

MrsT84 · 09/04/2022 14:40

My son is 7 and does not have a tablet. He is allowed on my laptop when I say (although never asks) and he plays on the ps4 a couple of nights a week with me or my husband. He is one of the best readers in his class and has a vivid imagination- his teacher thinks he will be an author one day! I am so glad we have encouraged a love of books in him - he will happily take a one anywhere (fiction/ non fiction/ puzzle books) as his entertainment.

kiwi17 · 09/04/2022 14:41

Our 4 year old doesn't have an iPad or tablet and won't have until it's completely necessary ( having got to the age of 32 without one myself I'm not sure when that will be!) She doesn't have access to our phones either. She does regular car journeys of 5/6 hours to grandparents with books, colouring and songs to listen to and has never known any different. As a teacher I can see the damage that too much screen time has done to some kids and I personally want to avoid that but each to their own!

BendingSpoons · 09/04/2022 14:46

My DC are 6yo and 3yo. They don't have tablets. DD6 is allowed 30-40 mins on the desktop at weekends and sometimes in the holidays. They are pretty good at entertaining themselves with toys, paper, books etc.

Oysterbabe · 09/04/2022 14:49

I have a 4 and a 6 year old. They've both had their own Ipads since they were about 2. They mostly play educational games on there. Maybe an hour a day.

Fishfingersfortea43 · 09/04/2022 14:49

My ds has had an iPad since about 3 or 4. He uses it for watching videos and playing games mostly. He's 9 now and also plays his PS a lot, sometimes for hours at a time over the weekend.

Some people may turn their noses up at this but he has a very active lifestyle too. He plays several sports, we walk for miles, he does swimming lessons, reads, draws and does a variety of after school clubs. So for me it's about balance. If he were only ever on a screen in his free time then it wouldn't be great but if this is interspersed with other activities then what's the problem?

Tech is part of life now. I'd wager that half of the parents complaining about kids screen time probably spend ages on their phones. I remember spending hours playing on my game boy and Sega growing up. It hasn't stunted my development in any way (I don't think!) and it's just another hobby. Why people are so judgemental about it I don't know, especially when there's a lot of educational stuff available online. My ds taught himself a song on the keyboard the other day using an iPad app.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 09/04/2022 14:52

Personally, I don't know any primary age child who doesn't at least have access to their own tablet.

Oysterbabe · 09/04/2022 14:58

Just to add, my 6 year old's school encourages them to use sites such as numbergym etc and has provided log ons. Technology is part of life in a way it wasn't when I was 6, so I'm not going to bleat on about how different it was in my day like an old gimmer.

balalake · 09/04/2022 14:58

Not someone with children or grandchildren of that age. However, I have seen 3 and 4 year olds use them. I recall going to a football match where a young child of probably 3 was taken to see daddy play (far too well for my liking!!) and was bored, so his mum got out an iPad, and the child knew the passcode and how to access his favourite game.

shivbo2014 · 09/04/2022 15:00

Mine are 7 and 2. 2 year old doesn't use the ipad at all. 7 year old will use it for a few hours each day over the weekend and after school for less than an hour. She also spends loads of time, crafting, playing with her brother, doing lots of extra curricular activities (gymnastics, swimming, keyboard, football) reading and playing outside. We are a very active out and about family. So I'm not concerned with how long she uses it for as it balances out.

FixItUpChappie · 09/04/2022 15:09

My 9 and 11yr old don't have tablets or use mine but they seem outside the norm. Most parents seem all in on the devices and video games as far as I can tell.

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