Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say to dsis...they are not average? Or are they!?

132 replies

jazzyjeffs · 09/04/2022 12:53

Name change for this...

Dsis always claims that they are an "average" family...she says it so breezily. Like for example...the whole Rishi Sunsk fiasco at the moment. She'll say things like, all well and good for him but we couldn't do that as an average family!! But...they are NOT average! They have no mortgage,(her dh played the whole property ladder thing very well from a young age!) they have no loans or debts, they don't pay for childcare as they work around each other etc. they make A LOT work.

Now on the outside, yes, they are average as in they have two working parents, 3 bed detached, two working cars (not brand new obviously!) but they're not AVERAGE? Are they??...

OP posts:
NeedleNoodle3 · 09/04/2022 12:56

They sound like an average hardworking family to me.

ManateeFair · 09/04/2022 12:56

Owning a three-bed detached house and two cars, regardless of any of the other stuff, makes them considerably more well-off than the average family.

Sexnotgender · 09/04/2022 12:56

What benefit is there to saying it to her? What do you hope to gain.

bellac11 · 09/04/2022 12:58

Average does run across a spectrum though

Depending on her wages, they could be average.

I think the discourse over the last 5 or so years seems to have separated people out into either so poor you cant heat and eat or so rich that you have millions stashed away

The reality for the vast vast majority of us is we are in the middle of those extremes.

lljkk · 09/04/2022 12:58

don't think you can define 'average' as a precise thing
Also I suspect she means 'typical' not average.
Typical definitely has a broad definition.
I'd also say they are 'ordinary' from what you wrote.

They don't have £30k spare or need to spend £30k on tax reduction measures.

Original poster
jazzyjeffs · 09/04/2022 13:02

@lljkk yes I think she means to say typical! Maybe,

But even at that I just find it hard to listen to...yes they are hard working. They bring in good wages between them (somewhere between 80-100k)

@Sexnotgender there's little benefit I suppose but I do wonder is she stuck in a little bubble of "everything is awesome" whilst everyone else is struggling to keep up with mortgages, car payments etc.

OP posts:
LosingTheWill2022 · 09/04/2022 13:06

Whilst their financial situation is above "average", their standard of is much closer to "average" than to the Sunak's.

Pyri · 09/04/2022 13:07

They sound absolutely average to me!

BogRollBOGOF · 09/04/2022 13:08

She may be above the mean, but she's within the median, so yes "average" is a realistic description.

Svara · 09/04/2022 13:12

Depends how far from the median you still call average. You could say the middle 50% or the middle 90% are average. Like I don't call myself low income on 20k as there is a big section of society with children on FSM, but others would include our family as low income too.

nervousnelly8 · 09/04/2022 13:12

They sound considerably average when compared to Rishi's wife with a £700m stake in her father's business - everything is relative. Whilst there are many people feeling the squeeze, I wouldn't say it is "average" to be struggling to make your mortgage (yet).

Beercrispsandnuts · 09/04/2022 13:16

Yes she’s fairly average. Average covers a wide spectrum, but she’s defintely not some form of special case.

Seeline · 09/04/2022 13:17

Is she actually basing it on their income?

As a 2 parent, 2 DC family in a 3 bed property with a couple of older cars they sound pretty average.

Beercrispsandnuts · 09/04/2022 13:17

Op are you struggling financially? Is that what’s driving you are you envious of her?

BluntWithAC · 09/04/2022 13:19

I wouldn't say the average person their age has their house paid off, thats not average.

The childcare cars etc is fairly average as lots of couples work round each other/nightshifts and make it work.

They are just above average in my opinion.

HollowTalk · 09/04/2022 13:21

In terms of wealth she's nowhere near Rishi's level - I think that's all she means. Their income is from wages; Rishi's isn't.

bellac11 · 09/04/2022 13:22

[quote jazzyjeffs]@lljkk yes I think she means to say typical! Maybe,

But even at that I just find it hard to listen to...yes they are hard working. They bring in good wages between them (somewhere between 80-100k)

@Sexnotgender there's little benefit I suppose but I do wonder is she stuck in a little bubble of "everything is awesome" whilst everyone else is struggling to keep up with mortgages, car payments etc. [/quote]
Well they do have a much higher than average income thats true.

But its also not true to say that 'everyone else' is struggling to keep up with mortgages and car payments. The majority of people are JAMs so are getting on with it and not struggling although not particularly well off.
You can see that by listening to the news this weekend, the busiest weekend since before covid at airports, people have got money to burn going on holiday. People are buying new cars all over the shop. Housing prices continue to go through the roof.

FairyCakeWings · 09/04/2022 13:25

They sound pretty average to me. Lucky to have been in the position where they can play they game and own a house, but they’re not out of the ordinary.

If they weren’t working as much as they do and had to make no sacrifices, then it would be out of the ordinary.

2pinkginsplease · 09/04/2022 13:27

They sound pretty average to me!

Why does it bother you so much, are you jealous of your sister?

shinynewapple22 · 09/04/2022 13:27

I suppose 'average' would be a 3 bed semi and joint earnings closer
to £50-£60k, given average salary is around £30k. But they are not that far off are they? They are comfortable rather than rich. Yes there are an awful lot of families in rented accommodation, in cramped conditions, minimum wage or no job, but equally there are people living in mansions, owning more than one property and earning money that most people can't imagine.

thewhatsit · 09/04/2022 13:27

If your sister was renting and on a below average salary would you also insist they are not average?

I don’t know how we are defining average. If it’s basically within 1k either way of mean income you won’t get many people or families that are “average” will you?* Or maybe we mean within 1 standard deviation from the mean, which will include 2/3 of families? In which case, she probably is average.

  • in the same way that the average person possesses 1.99999 arms and 1.99999 legs etc
elliejjtiny · 09/04/2022 13:28

I would say they were rich. I think most people would think their experience is average or normal. For example I had nearly 9lb full term babies so when someone has a 6lb baby I think that's tiny. Also I had a baby at nearly 37 weeks who was really poorly so I always nervously ask if a baby is ok if born around that gestation. Before my son was born I would assume a baby born after 34ish weeks would be small but otherwise fine. We are low income enough to rely heavily on tax credits but not entitled to FSM. So I would say that getting FSM means you are poor and anyone earning more than about 20k but less than 60k is in the middle. More than £60k is rich to me although I'm sure people earning 60k think they are average.

fizzyfood · 09/04/2022 13:28

The average family are not mortgage free in my opinion.

bellac11 · 09/04/2022 13:28

@BluntWithAC

I wouldn't say the average person their age has their house paid off, thats not average.

The childcare cars etc is fairly average as lots of couples work round each other/nightshifts and make it work.

They are just above average in my opinion.

The OP didnt say how old they were?
TiddleyWink · 09/04/2022 13:29

You’re way overthinking this. She just means ‘typical’. Which they are far more so than Rishi and co. You sound very jealous.