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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say to dsis...they are not average? Or are they!?

132 replies

jazzyjeffs · 09/04/2022 12:53

Name change for this...

Dsis always claims that they are an "average" family...she says it so breezily. Like for example...the whole Rishi Sunsk fiasco at the moment. She'll say things like, all well and good for him but we couldn't do that as an average family!! But...they are NOT average! They have no mortgage,(her dh played the whole property ladder thing very well from a young age!) they have no loans or debts, they don't pay for childcare as they work around each other etc. they make A LOT work.

Now on the outside, yes, they are average as in they have two working parents, 3 bed detached, two working cars (not brand new obviously!) but they're not AVERAGE? Are they??...

OP posts:
Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 09/04/2022 14:11

Assuming that their children are under 13 and that there are 2 of them, an income of 80K puts them at more income than 89% of people in the UK (from IFS calculator). Not average IMHO but not an Elon Musk though which is what she might have meant.

Madrenetterhere · 09/04/2022 14:13

Can I also add she would really annoy me too with her average family comments lol....

Gizacluethen · 09/04/2022 14:14

I think they probably are. They're not rich with pals in high places. That's what she means. If she was caught not paying tax she'd get in trouble for it like the rest of us average folk.

bellac11 · 09/04/2022 14:16

@NOTANUM

It depends where you live I guess. In London having a detached house with no mortgage and two cars puts you in millionaire territory. Not so much in Wigan I guess.
Interesting how people view things

That would be the description of my parents. But they're not millionaires, and no the house is not worth a million, no where near it

NeedleNoodle3 · 09/04/2022 14:17

My family is the only one I know who only has one car. All my friends, family, neighbours have two or if they are a single person household they have one.

LittleBearPad · 09/04/2022 14:19

@NeedleNoodle3

My family is the only one I know who only has one car. All my friends, family, neighbours have two or if they are a single person household they have one.
We have one because we rarely use it as we use trains to commute. Owning 1 or 2 cars doesn’t denote wealth.
dottydodah · 09/04/2022 14:20

We are similar to your DSIS.I would say with a 3 bed detached and a couple of older vehicles . Im a SAHM .Not rich but comfortable .Its all relative though .For example DDs friends parents own a business worth in the millions ,have a Maserati and educate DC privately . Other friends rent from HA ,wife works as a Carer ,long hours and DC are at State Schools. Fairly standard

NeedleNoodle3 · 09/04/2022 14:25

My family is the only one I know who only has one car. All my friends, family, neighbours have two or if they are a single person household they have one.
We have one because we rarely use it as we use trains to commute. Owning 1 or 2 cars doesn’t denote wealth
I agree and was surprised when a number of posters commented on the car thing.

Ladywinesalot · 09/04/2022 14:29

Sounds like a good standard of average.

Do you have a worse lifestyle OP? You found bitter.

LegMeChicken · 09/04/2022 14:32

'Average' here isn't a statistical meaning, so YABU.
In the context of Rishi Sunak yes, your sis family is average. Wage earners can never escape from handing over their money to the state, even if they earned 200K between them.

The bigger question is why does this make you so angry? If you're jealous of her, and money is an issue, just avoid the topic of discussion!

Itsbackagain · 09/04/2022 14:32

Sounds like they're well organised more than anything.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 09/04/2022 14:33

They sound quite 'average' imo.

You sound a bit jealous, tbh.

Duracellbunnywannabe · 09/04/2022 14:33

Average wage in the UK is 26k.

WonderfulYou · 09/04/2022 14:36

Owning a three-bed detached house and two cars, regardless of any of the other stuff, makes them considerably more well-off than the average family.

I agree!

Living in a mortgage free detached house is in no way average!

I guess for MN it could be but not in the real world.

vitahelp · 09/04/2022 14:37

She may just be trying to be more relatable and sort of play down her wealth. I’m by no means loaded, but have a bit more than most of my friends due to family circumstance. I quite often play this down around colleagues / friends etc as I’ve always found it awkward and embarrassing having more (especially when I didn’t personally work for it).

bellac11 · 09/04/2022 14:38

@Duracellbunnywannabe

Average wage in the UK is 26k.
I think that if London wages are taken out its a lot lower than that.
chesirecat99 · 09/04/2022 14:39

I think you are overthinking it. I doubt she thinks she is average in terms of being the exact mean... I'm sure she realises that she is relatively privileged financially, if not rich. It's clear what she means by average - typical, the man on the street, the "hoi polloi". I guess if you want to put it in statistical terms, she probably means anyone who isn't an outlier, so + or - 2.5 standard deviations, but she would sound like a pretentious idiot if she said that... Grin

nervydote · 09/04/2022 14:40

Well it's not the norm to be mortgage free at a young age but everything else sounds fairly average.

Beercrispsandnuts · 09/04/2022 14:43

@Duracellbunnywannabe

Average wage in the UK is 26k.
The average full time wage is just over 31 k. The 26k includes part timers. Hence lower. Two full time adults on an average full time wage would pull in 63k. 80 isn’t hugely above it and it sounds like the op doesn’t actually know what they earn she’s just guessing.
Onionpatch · 09/04/2022 14:44

@lljkk - thats a really interesting list of different variables.

I think a lot of people think of average for their age and stage rather than average overall.

godmum56 · 09/04/2022 14:46

[quote jazzyjeffs]@lljkk yes I think she means to say typical! Maybe,

But even at that I just find it hard to listen to...yes they are hard working. They bring in good wages between them (somewhere between 80-100k)

@Sexnotgender there's little benefit I suppose but I do wonder is she stuck in a little bubble of "everything is awesome" whilst everyone else is struggling to keep up with mortgages, car payments etc. [/quote]
I guess its annoying but what would be the benefit of an argument? Smile and nod, nod and smile.

Movemyshed · 09/04/2022 14:46

Average wage in the UK is 26k

Average full-time salary is over £30,000.

nervydote · 09/04/2022 14:47

I’m really puzzled that people are saying this is average. The IFS actually has a calculator based on household income: https://ifs.org.uk/toolsandresources/wheredoyoufitinn*

It's after tax so they won't be 89%

Movemyshed · 09/04/2022 14:47

Missed Beercrispsandnuts post saying the same.

nervydote · 09/04/2022 14:49

Also the income thing is skewed because so many people historically have made lots of money from property.