Deeply concerned about Child Safety in Bristol

[MatthewJTaylor]

From May 5th to May 8th 2022, the Tobacco Factory Theatres in Bristol is having performances of "The Family Sex Show".
This show is aimed at children 5 years old and up.
The performers involved get naked.
The discussion with the children is on sex, sexuality and sexual pleasure.

I cannot imagine brining a 5 year old child to a theatre where people will to to her/him about sex and show their naked bodies to her/him.

Am I the crazy one?

Sources:
The Family Sex Show website
Listing at The Tobacco Factory Theatres

@SpidersAreShitheads

According to the website and setting aside the issue of nudity for the moment, the show addresses: " ethical decision making; sexual consent; equity - the skills to spot gender norms, male gaze, racist tropes, ableism; understanding of safe sex (able to spot non-use of protection), etc." It also covers using "pleasure as a vehicle for consent".

The difficulty I'm having is how can this be addressed in an age appropriate way when there's such a diverse range of ages?

I accept that it's possible to introduce some of these topics to a 5 yr old - such as safety, for example. But I don't understand how you can choose language that makes it age appropriate to talk about sexual pleasure and safe sex/sexual protection to a 5 yr old. And even if it were appropriate to discuss those topics with a 5yr old (HINT - it's not) - how could you choose language which is simultaneously appropriate for a 5yr old AND a 12 yr old?? It's just not possible.

It's not a child's show, it's a "family" show suitable from the age of 5 and up. I'm really challenging myself here to see if there's a reasonable alternative view to my instinctive reaction (which is to say this is deeply wrong). But when you consider the fact that discussing things which aren't age-appropriate with a 5 yr old would normally be considered a safeguarding issues, and potentially a red flag for grooming/abuse, how does this sit alongside it? When 5 yr old Emma goes into school next week and starts talking about the importance of pleasure during sex and female satisfaction, and how condoms are important - there's going to be some very serious questions asked of the family.

I'm extremely relaxed about nudity, and I'm comfortable discussing sex with my DC. This stuff just doesn't embarrass me at all, and I think that sex education is important. But it MUST be age appropriate. And no matter how much I try and figure this out, I can't see how these subjects can be covered in a way which is safe and appropriate for a 5 yr old.

Also - some of the photos appear to show adults simulating sex - albeit in a comedic way. I don't think that's suitable for a 5 yr old either. Again, back to the school scenario - "Emma, what game are you playing with little Mikey right now? Why are you sitting on top of him and grinding your hips?" Jesus Christ. It doesn't bear thinking about.

Finally, they are being very disingenuous - they've added a link to the NSPCC site and saying that the NSPCC agree that children are sexual from the age of 5. That's absolutely NOT what the link says. And the information that the NSPCC suggests providing to a 5 yr old is definitely not about masturbation, sexual pleasure and safe sex.

I was completely prepared for this to be a load of pearl-clutching and people being uptight, but it's genuinely not. It's really shocking actually and I don't understand how ANYONE can be defending it.

I don't understand it either, it should be absolutely obvious to anyone that this is totally inappropriate. It's actually a long way beyond inappropriate, it's really dangerous.

Even without a detailed breakdown of exactly what's covered, the way the organisers talk about it tells you everything you need to know about their suitability to deliver sex education to children. One of the (many) things that jumped out at me from the guardian article was that they only want to cover the positive aspects of sex. Presenting it all as just a bit of fun, don't be so uptight, erodes boundaries that society has in place for very good reasons. Body confidence and lack of shame are important, but so are privacy and dignity. Sex isn't shameful, but young people (I'm NOT talking about children here) should have the right to develop their sexualities privately, at their own pace and without people with an agenda telling them how they ought to think and feel about it. And if society has got to a stage where a group can openly state that they want to broach the topics of sexual pleasure, masturbation and sex positivity with small children and it actually gets to the stage where they are selling tickets- we have a big fucking problem.

At best, this is a group of overenthusiastic people who haven't thought through, and don't have the knowledge to assess, the impact of this type of content on children. That doesn't make it any less harmful.

WHAT!!! I remember being 5 and this would have made me deeply uncomfortable.
I can just imagine abused children being taken to see this and told - see its normal.
I am astounded - anyone want to picket Bristol with me?

I cannot believe the number of people defending this...saying we all must be mistaken. Some appear to have had a quick glance at the website, swallowed a few soundbites and concluded everything's hunkydory. Open your eyes...look at the pop ups on the website, read all the sections - people, FAQs, glossary etc. Just because they've peppered the site with the letters NSPCC a few times does not mean its OK. They don't actually say the NSPCC supports the show just that they think they are following guidance. Even if the NSPCC support this they have shown a glaring lack of judgement in other areas (toilet incident, sex abuse definition changes). Read what they say about safeguarding (demonstrates a clear lack of understanding or is an attempt to obsfuscate) and read all it says the shoe contains. The detailed show content is still not available 2 weeks before the 1st show...so they don't know how the show will run but know its perfectly fine,...really?

@Tilltheend99

You seem to be overreacting. From the website link you shared, everyone seems to be wearing clothes. It is described as Sesame Street meets Flight of the Concords. Sounds more like Horrible Histories for sex education trying to make it engaging.

So, if it is at a theatre then the content will have been examined for safeguarding already.

If you are five you will have your parents with you so parent has already given consent to talk to their child learning about bodies etc and can discuss the themes more after the show.

Unless you can prove with better links that something bad is in the show, then you are scare mongering at best.

I don’t believe talking to children about things like sexuality and inclusion is wrong if anything, those seeking to ban children from hearing words like gay are causing the damage.

There's a middle ground between refusing to provide sex education at all and...this. Just because the show says its age appropriate doesn't mean that it is.

There are some things that parents can consent to on behalf of their child. This should not be one of them.

I am left-leaning and very much of the live and let live, let’s be tolerant frame of mind.

But the fact that this targets children really concerns me. Not because I think it’s grooming or run by pedophiles, but because I think children are being targeted for ideological reasons. Get them while they’re young. Teach them our truth so they will accept it as the norm and we will have changed the social landscape in a generation.

I’m really not sure it’s been created with children’s best interests in mind. It’s more about pushing an agenda.

Nobody thinks “what do children need to know about to have a happier, safer and carefree childhood” and comes up with BDSM and Child abuse (on the glossary list, among others).

@Tilltheend99

You seem to be overreacting. From the website link you shared, everyone seems to be wearing clothes. It is described as Sesame Street meets Flight of the Concords. Sounds more like Horrible Histories for sex education trying to make it engaging.

So, if it is at a theatre then the content will have been examined for safeguarding already.

If you are five you will have your parents with you so parent has already given consent to talk to their child learning about bodies etc and can discuss the themes more after the show.

Unless you can prove with better links that something bad is in the show, then you are scare mongering at best.

I don’t believe talking to children about things like sexuality and inclusion is wrong if anything, those seeking to ban children from hearing words like gay are causing the damage.

Pegging, Abortion, BDSM, Hand Job, Squirting, Dildo, Pornography - for 5 year olds? These and political terms like TERF, Revolution, Anti Capitalism.

If you have read their website and scrolled through their glossary and FAQs, and you still think this is OK, you need to take a very long look at yourself. I cannot believe posters are trying to minimise and justify this.

@DrBlackbird

This lost me when stipulating it’s for "5 years old and up". A 5 year old is not able to process information on sex anywhere close to how a pre-teen or teen or young adult will. Trying to pretend it’s for all ages is disconcerting and points to a lack of understanding of human sexual development. There’s a reason that schools teach different sex Ed curriculum to different ages.

Exactly. If it's genuinely informative, useful and illuminating to age 15 then it will be vastly inappropriate for age 5.

And if it was genuinely appropriate for age 5 - PANTS rule, etc - it will be an absolute waste of time for a 15 year old.

Even what sort of tv shows are appropriate for kids of different ages are split into entirely different channels - Cbeebies, CBBC etc - not because of safeguarding but because they have different aims and levels of understanding!

To mix it all together when it comes to sex just seems very stupid. And dangerous.

Sounds horrific.

What the absolute fuckery woke shit is this?!?

To be fair the glossary may or may not have anything to do with the Family Sex Show. Because the information is so sparse about what the show involves it's hard to gauge what will actually be in the show, other than adults undressing and being naked, talking about sexual pleasure and masturbation.

"With a team of eight performers, Dale-Jones is making a show about sex and relationships for ages five and above. Accompanied by workshops and panel talks, The Family Sex Show tackles topics including boundaries, gender, relationships and masturbation. Through a series of artistic responses and conversations, the group want to help make it easier for anyone, of any age, to talk about these sticky, tricky topics."

@finebutfedup

I am left-leaning and very much of the live and let live, let’s be tolerant frame of mind.

But the fact that this targets children really concerns me. Not because I think it’s grooming or run by pedophiles, but because I think children are being targeted for ideological reasons. Get them while they’re young. Teach them our truth so they will accept it as the norm and we will have changed the social landscape in a generation.

I’m really not sure it’s been created with children’s best interests in mind. It’s more about pushing an agenda.

Nobody thinks “what do children need to know about to have a happier, safer and carefree childhood” and comes up with BDSM and Child abuse (on the glossary list, among others).

The CCP in China brainwashed children to foment a revolution, here they have Revolution in the glossary. I’m not sure this is the kind of Revolution that most sane people have in mind, but it’s in keeping with the teachings of Kinsey, the sadistic predator who sexualised infants and presented this criminal activity as research and academia ate it up.

It's inappropriate for a 5 year old, and it's inappropriate for a 14 year old! Would a film in this subject get a PG or U rating? I doubt it.

And again with the framing of discomfort around having explicitly sexual conversations with children with not wanting them to know about gay relationships. It's scary that this is being conflated with bigotry. Of course children can and should be taught about this, but in the context of families, because it's age-appropriate and that's what small children understand. Love and family relationships are an accessible starting point for talking about relationships with children because that's their frame of reference. Sexual feelings are not appropriate to discuss with five year olds because they're not ready to understand that, and rushing children into that is very concerning.

@finebutfedup

I am left-leaning and very much of the live and let live, let’s be tolerant frame of mind.

Yes, lots of people who are liberal/left are worried about calling this out. But safeguarding is not a political issue. Or at least it shouldn't be.

But the fact that this targets children really concerns me. Not because I think it’s grooming or run by pedophiles, but because I think children are being targeted for ideological reasons. Get them while they’re young. Teach them our truth so they will accept it as the norm and we will have changed the social landscape in a generation.

That is grooming though. Children are being targeted and groomed, this is all part of a societal move to override children's boundaries and blur the lines of consent.

And when I say ‘agenda’ I mean worldview rather than anything overtly sinister.

I sometimes wonder whether some people’s identities become subsumed by their sexuality / gender, especially when it’s an area where they feel marginalised. Yes it’s understandably a HUGE part of their life and experience, maybe even at a young age, but it isn’t that way for everyone. Bodies are about more than just sex. Identities and whether you feel male or female and who you fancy and in what way are just not all that high on many people’s list of things they care about (call it privilege or whatever you want, there’s no laws about what people have to think about) let alone the list of what under-10s need to be learning.

@Believerinbiology What is the toilet incident and sexual abuse, please?

@shreddednips

And again with the framing of discomfort around having explicitly sexual conversations with children with not wanting them to know about gay relationships. It's scary that this is being conflated with bigotry. Of course children can and should be taught about this, but in the context of families, because it's age-appropriate and that's what small children understand. Love and family relationships are an accessible starting point for talking about relationships with children because that's their frame of reference. Sexual feelings are not appropriate to discuss with five year olds because they're not ready to understand that, and rushing children into that is very concerning.

Yes, it is a common tactic to shame people raising safeguarding concerns and call them bigots/prudes/Mary whitehouse/pearl clutchers.

At age 5 all children need to know is that there are different types of families and all of those families are valid, be it same sex couples, looked after children in foster care, children with only one parent at home for any reason, children who are looked after by their grandparents.

A selection from their glossary of child-appropriate, supposedly NSPCC approved terms -

BDSM
Play parties
Horny
Hand job
Dildo
Kink
Squirting

I’d like to see this show broadcast on TV. Would it even be allowed before the watershed?

The glossary terms are worded in a simplistic way aimed at children. And the drama, theatre terms are mixed in with the sex terms.

Pegging
Performer
Period Poverty
PIV sex
Play Parties
Playwright

But there’s no Grooming in the G section .

I don’t really know how anyone can have a proper opinion until they’ve finished developing the show. I assume the glossary is aimed at parents not 5 year olds, who are mostly still working on CVC words. My oldest child did their first few years at school abroad, in a country where sex education begins at 4 and they did discuss consent at 5. But in an entirely age appropriate way eg. you don’t cuddle your friends unless they want to cuddle you, make sure everyone is enjoying the game etc. If it’s that sort of approach I’d be fine with it. But the website does make it sound like it may not be that carefully done, the tone certainly sounds like they want to be more explicit, which wouldn’t be age appropriate.

@DoorWasAJar

I’d like to see this show broadcast on TV. Would it even be allowed before the watershed?

It most certainly wouldn't be on CBBC.

@Throughabushbackwards You forgot pegging and abortion.

So many good posts about this - especially this one from shreddednips

Even without a detailed breakdown of exactly what's covered, the way the organisers talk about it tells you everything you need to know about their suitability to deliver sex education to children. One of the (many) things that jumped out at me from the guardian article was that they only want to cover the positive aspects of sex. Presenting it all as just a bit of fun, don't be so uptight, erodes boundaries that society has in place for very good reasons. Body confidence and lack of shame are important, but so are privacy and dignity. Sex isn't shameful, but young people (I'm NOT talking about children here) should have the right to develop their sexualities privately, at their own pace and without people with an agenda telling them how they ought to think and feel about it. And if society has got to a stage where a group can openly state that they want to broach the topics of sexual pleasure, masturbation and sex positivity with small children and it actually gets to the stage where they are selling tickets- we have a big fucking problem.

How have we got to such a stage that anyone can argue that safeguarding 5 year olds from material like this is pearl clutching?