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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My word should have been enough

341 replies

EthelsAuntie · 07/04/2022 09:37

A couple of weeks ago, I was admitted to hospital. I had severe abdominal pain, no appetite, being violently sick, couldnt even keep water down. I hadn't been to the toilet for a wee or a poo for at least 24hrs.
The dr wanted to send me for an x-ray of my tummy but wouldn't send me until I got a confirmed negative on a pregnancy test.
I repeatedly told them that I wasn't pregnant. I knew that I wasn't pregnant. However because I'm married they said they needed to do the test. This seriously held up proceedings. They had to put me on a drip. They probably would have done that anyway. But they had to wait for hours until I was able to go for a wee. Then they did a test on it and only then did they request the X-ray because lo behold I was not pregnant.
It turned out to be extremely serious and I needed emergency surgery that took 5 hours.
AIBU to have felt very strongly that they should have taken my word for it. Make me sign something to say that I wasn't pregnant. Fine. Don't just dismiss me because I'm of childbearing age.
I also wonder what would have happened had I been pregnant. Neither I nor a fetus would have survived what the actual problem was had it been left untreated.
It was an awful time and I have to say the constant asking and not taking my word for it did not help. I was feeling like shit. I am a strong, intelligent woman in my 40s but I felt I didn't have a voice to be listened to.

OP posts:
Mamamoo12 · 08/04/2022 18:47

I end up in A&E quite regularly with my ‘illness’. I’m always asked if I could be pregnant and when I say no, they take my word for it. I’d be quite annoyed if they didn’t believe me. If you thought you may have been pregnant you would have said and at that point they could ask for a test to confirm.

Socksey · 08/04/2022 18:50

I would have been seriously ticked off if they did this to me too...
Last time I had sex, I got pregnant... I had the baby 14 years ago... definitely not pregnant... and it's not a case of "you mightn't know" etc... and even for Christians, I'm not sure if anyone really fully believes in an immaculate conception as the term virgin was also used to refer to unmarried women 2000 years ago... (I did have a source for that and an interesting article some 30 years ago.. since lost or filed on paper somewhere)

OfstedOffred · 08/04/2022 18:54

Pregnancy changes your body. How you react to anaesthetic. How your blood clots. How you react to medication. What medication it is safe to give you.

If you had somehow got pregnant and didnt know, they run a huge risk if they haven't checked.

JonSnowIsALoser · 08/04/2022 18:54

@FleurDeLizz

^If you are christian abstinence is no guarantees either🤷🏼‍♀️

What do you mean by abstinence is no guarantee?

If you’re abstinent you aren’t having sex^

Because Christians believe that Virgin Mary gave birth to Jesus.

Drivingish · 08/04/2022 19:12

I can see the arguments why they'd want to test but all the posters saying "I didn't think I could be pregnant but guess what, I was!" should never have answered 'no, definitely not' in the first place - infertility/sterilisation/previous tests are not infallible! If you've had a hysterectomy or genuinely been abstinent/ only had lesbian sex for years that's pretty definite! Why should you then have to wait hours for a test? Fair enough if the doctors really question you, like asking when you last had PIV sex etc but they should, eventually, take your word for it.

Agree totally that it's appalling double standards - if there MUST be pregnancy tests before medical care in case of lies/mistakes then there should be mandatory upper endoscopies before all general anaesthetic in case you've had a crafty cheeseburger earlier, and mandatory metal scans before any MRI in case you're hiding metal on you etc etc. Would be ridiculous so why focus purely on possible pregnancy?

YouShouldGoAndLoveYourself · 08/04/2022 19:16

Yes you should have had a pregnancy test, this was correct and widely accepted practice
Obviously some women say they aren’t pregnant but ARE pregnant but didn’t know, how can they tell the difference without testing?

Drivingish · 08/04/2022 19:21

@YouShouldGoAndLoveYourself

Yes you should have had a pregnancy test, this was correct and widely accepted practice Obviously some women say they aren’t pregnant but ARE pregnant but didn’t know, how can they tell the difference without testing?
But that applies to so many things, why focus on pregnancy? What if you're allergic to penicillin and don't know, should they test everyone before treating?
godmum56 · 08/04/2022 19:39

@Just10moreminutesplease

I think it depends. Not pregnant because you’re not sexually active? They should absolutely take your word for it.

Not pregnant because you use contraception? Definitely check, no contraceptive is 100% accurate.

there are many reason why someone would say that they are not sexually active and yet might still be pregnant.
DearDoggos · 08/04/2022 19:48

The ridiculous thing being the risk from one xray is absolutely tiny. I'm not sure why people get so over excited about it, especially medical professionals that should be familiar with the volumes of radiation used. You're quite right to be annoyed, if you had been pregnant what would they have done? A CT is a much greater risk to a baby, and an MRI takes much longer to run. Hope you're feeling better now!

Spaceshiphaslanded · 08/04/2022 19:49

It’s just procedure they have to follow. We couldn’t leave hospital with our new born until we sat through the safe sex lesson....I’m gay. Sometimes it’s just what they have to do. Hope you are feeling better now x

Harmonypuss · 08/04/2022 19:50

The hospital still insisted on a pregnancy test before even considering some treatment I needed a couple of years ago despite me being in my 50s, single and not had sex in over 4yrs! #Jobsworth

FrankLeeSpeaking · 08/04/2022 19:56

If it would've made no difference to the treatment, I don't understand why they waited so long anyway.
For routine things, fine. People are mistaken, unaware/uneducated on what effects contraception or, sometimes, they lie about being sexually active, especially younger people with parents with them.

Lj99 · 08/04/2022 20:01

So you’d rather they operated on you without doing all there proper checks. We’ll you’d have had something to really complain about if they’d have cut you open and found a baby inside you wouldn’t you so yes you are being VERY unreasonable.

tintin13 · 08/04/2022 20:03

@SolasAnla

You strong, intelligent woman in your 40s engaged in acts of sexual reproduction.

The doctors are aware that no form of birth control is 100% effective.

If you are christian abstinence is no guarantees either🤷🏼‍♀️

When I went to the hospital (many years ago) .. they made me take a pg test even though I told them i was a virgin.. I was having a bad migraine and the pain was so bad that i was vomiting. They didn't care that i was a virgin and still insisted i pee on a stick... 🤷‍♀️ just saying that abstinence doesn't work either.
yellowsuninthesky · 08/04/2022 20:07

@Spaceshiphaslanded

It’s just procedure they have to follow. We couldn’t leave hospital with our new born until we sat through the safe sex lesson....I’m gay. Sometimes it’s just what they have to do. Hope you are feeling better now x
That's wrong as well. If you've told them you're gay, why do you need a lecture about safe sex with a man? FGS. I know having had a baby you are generally feeling a bit vulnerable so you don't argue but I think I'd be sending them an email reminding them that lesbian women don't normally have sex with men?

Yes there are protocols but you still employ common sense. Would they give a 70 year old a pregnancy test? I sincerely hope not!

yellowsuninthesky · 08/04/2022 20:10

@Changeee1546789

YABU - they would be sued to kingdom come otherwise. Signing a piece of paper still doesn’t tell them if you are pregnant or not.
and sued if they waited too long to treat the OP and she died. Just because a mature woman (we're not talking about a 17 year old with her parents present) can't be trusted?
KentishMama · 08/04/2022 20:53

I had cancer. I can't get pregnant due to the treatment I had, and continued to have. Yet every time I have a scan, they ask me if I'm pregnant and act outraged when I tell them it's impossible. It would take ten seconds - a quick look at the medical records that they have access to - to spare me the humiliation and sadness of having to explain.
Flowers

FrankLeeSpeaking · 08/04/2022 21:29

When I went to the hospital (many years ago) .. they made me take a pg test even though I told them i was a virgin..
I was having a bad migraine and the pain was so bad that i was vomiting.
They didn't care that i was a virgin and still insisted i pee on a stick... 🤷‍♀️ just saying that abstinence doesn't work either.

My 17 year old best friend swore up and down she was a virgin, even when she was in hospital with the positive test. So, sadly, medical staff do have to have evidence and can't take somebodies word for it.

Borisisafecklesstoad · 08/04/2022 22:30

If you were that urgent surely they could have ordered a blood test?

WelshyMaud · 08/04/2022 22:38

Of course yabu.

Some people are stupid. Some people are liars. You could have been either, they're not to know.

If determining whether you were pregnant was necessary before moving forward, they did the right thing in insisting on a test.

Iseestupidpeople · 09/04/2022 00:36

Broke my foot in February they were happy with me saying I’m not pregnant and I’m married early forties.

However the fracture clinic consultant couldn’t tell the difference between my left and right foot X-ray despite them having large L and R on it.

JuneJuly · 09/04/2022 02:43

[quote MrsPetty]@SolasAnla Pregnant while Christian and sexually abstinent? How?[/quote]
Immaculate conception of course!

IwaswhoIam · 09/04/2022 02:50

I was checked once when I was a virgin 😂 it’s hospital procedure.

BadLad · 09/04/2022 03:14

@SolasAnla

You strong, intelligent woman in your 40s engaged in acts of sexual reproduction.

The doctors are aware that no form of birth control is 100% effective.

If you are christian abstinence is no guarantees either🤷🏼‍♀️

I take it you've learned your lesson now. A light-hearted comment like this is beyond many of the posters on AIBU.
ZealAndArdour · 09/04/2022 03:38

@Tomnooktoldmeto

It’s not about theatre. It’s about the risk of a dose of ionising radiation to a developing foetus, from an abdo X-ray.

Signing a waiver should have been enough I’d think. But maybe some hospitals have a policy of not offering that, after serious incidents or previous litigation in a similar scenario.

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