Page 3 | Pregnant - Really do bot want to go to office

Ponoka7 · 06/04/2022 08:19

It's worth contacting HR as suggested. There is still a risk from Covid in your third trimester and unless it's essential to go into an office, employers don't have a reason to insist on it.

HaresHoping · 06/04/2022 08:21

Sorry people are being so harsh to you here OP.

What I would say is everyone has different needs and actually when businesses try to be more accommodating and flexible to this, it boosts their profits. Look up Flex Appeal and Mother Pukka on Instagram.

The working world was designed for men with wives who did all of the childcare and home management, and sadly while there has been lots of progress in that area and lots of men want to do more and definitely do more these days, it is often still the case that this work (unpaid and often unappreciated might I add) falls on women.

We have no idea wha OP's personal situation is and how she can afford childcare which always seems extortionate too me frankly, particularly with the cost of living rise factored in too.

Let's try to build one another up instead of tearing each other down?

OP, have a look at Flex Appeal to give yourself the confidence boost you deserve. Good luck xx

LemonDrizzles · 06/04/2022 08:22

It's ok to feel anxious, regardless of what everyone else pregnancy or going into the office experience was like.

Three things

focus on that you just have 2 more months. You've done this before and you can do it again.
find out if you can cut your lunch by 30 minutes and leave 30 minutes early to pick up your son. Listen to meditation or peaceful music on the drive
breathe, deeply, calmly. You want to feel peaceful in pregnancy.

Sorry you feel embarrassed about going to the loo. I try to remind myself drinking a lot of water leads to lots of loo breaks but also drinking water helps with birth allegedly. So keep up the loo breaks- it might be a great sign for birth!

All the best

FlyingPandas · 06/04/2022 08:22

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross

Just go to work, do your job, and arrange childcare that’s appropriate for your needs. That’s what adults do! Your workplace should have risk assessments in place for pregnant women and be able to accommodate such things as more frequent toilet breaks, etc.

I think the WFH culture during the pandemic has created some very bizarre outcomes in terms of how people now seem to view being expected to go into the office as some kind of outrageously unfair imposition.

Sorry you are struggling OP. But I have to agree with the above. Pandemic wfh arrangements do seem to have created a quite bonkers sense of entitlement in some people (not all, but quite a few on here, certainly!) along with a kind of outrage that they should ever be asked to leave their house to do their job.

Had it not been for the pandemic, you’d presumably have been in the office full time and either finding a way to cope and make it work, or taking maternity leave early.

Which is what everyone used to have to do prior to this wfh malarkey.

So, you either need to find a way to cope and make it work for this one day a week, or take maternity leave early.

There is no harm in asking if you can continue to wfh but as others have said, don’t refer to your childcare issues-that is your problem not theirs.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

HaresHoping · 06/04/2022 08:22

Apologies for typos!

OfstedOffred · 06/04/2022 08:22

The childcare point isn't relevant to your employer.

Needing the loo a lot - doesnt your office have loos? If you are worrying about pelvic issues it's reasonable to ask if you can be seated near the loos and perhaps ask if occupational health can review your seating/desk set up, but no going in at all is a bit too far. I think if you refused to go at all your employer might have no choice but to ask that you start your maternity leave earlier.

Nothappyatwork · 06/04/2022 08:23

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross not every working human being has a 6 pound babysat in their uterus pressing against the bladder …. are you five years old do we need to explain the biology of this to you ?

LemonDrizzles · 06/04/2022 08:24

Source regarding drinking water

www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/drink-enough-water/

HaresHoping · 06/04/2022 08:25

Also another point - health issues should also be taken into account and if we had more sympathy and flexibility in this area, and took a sensible approach to WFH, my disabled parents and disabled brother in law might have been able to work and contribute to society. Yes one of them is disabled with toilet issues which can be debilitating. I wish people weren't so narrow bloody minded 🙄

ShaneTwane · 06/04/2022 08:27

Sorry but you are massively but. You are pregnant not disabled needing the loo is not an excuse to stay at home. It's one day a week so assuming you are going off on mat leave soon is less than 8 days in the office. Using your child's pick up time and saying you have to drive fast is dangerous and not on. Other people have kids to sort out childcare for as well.

AnIconOfImperfections · 06/04/2022 08:28

@Nothappyatwork

Gosh there’s some mean spirited bitches on here and one of them is appallingly a nurse, that’s disconcerting.

Worrying isn’t it. I’m just coming up the end of my first tri and have never felt worse. The bone crushing exhaustion and nausea have floored me. Fortunately, my employer has been very kind and sympathetic and have actually said I don’t need to go into the office at all unless there are big meetings. And this is finance in the City! You would think a nurse would have some empathy

mycatisannoying · 06/04/2022 08:30

YABU, sorry.

MiddleParking · 06/04/2022 08:31

If you mean you’ve got diarrhoea a lot of the time then you might not even have two months left before baby comes!

ifyouturnonthelight · 06/04/2022 08:31

@creol you're not special just because you're pregnant. Suck it up

Beamur · 06/04/2022 08:31

Not everyone has easy pregnancies. Let's cut the OP some slack here!
The other thing that the pandemic has shown us is how many jobs can easily be done remotely and the benefits that brings to the environment (less commuting driving is great for air quality) and home/like balance.

ifyouturnonthelight · 06/04/2022 08:32

The sense of entitlement from pregnant women is insane. You're pregnant not sick

JudgeRindersMinder · 06/04/2022 08:33

@OutingHobby

You could always start maternity leave early?

This. It used to be from 29 weeks, not sure if this is still the case

AnIconOfImperfections · 06/04/2022 08:33

@HaresHoping

Sorry people are being so harsh to you here OP.

What I would say is everyone has different needs and actually when businesses try to be more accommodating and flexible to this, it boosts their profits. Look up Flex Appeal and Mother Pukka on Instagram.

The working world was designed for men with wives who did all of the childcare and home management, and sadly while there has been lots of progress in that area and lots of men want to do more and definitely do more these days, it is often still the case that this work (unpaid and often unappreciated might I add) falls on women.

We have no idea wha OP's personal situation is and how she can afford childcare which always seems extortionate too me frankly, particularly with the cost of living rise factored in too.

Let's try to build one another up instead of tearing each other down?

OP, have a look at Flex Appeal to give yourself the confidence boost you deserve. Good luck xx

Agree with this. Sometimes on MN it’s a race to see whose reply can be the most heartless

Nothappyatwork · 06/04/2022 08:34

@AnIconOfImperfections you have to be very wary when you’re receiving medical treatment from healthcare professionals there’s been a report recently and it is on Mumsnet with the Shrewsberry hospital where nasty unkind healthcare professionals caused all sorts of preventable implications for both mother and child, make sure your birth partner is extremely well versed on what should be happening and that they’re advocating on your behalf at all times .

ArtVandalay · 06/04/2022 08:37

I don’t think your excuses are reasonable.

Could you start your maternity leave early?

Hesma · 06/04/2022 08:37

It’s only one day a week so my initial reaction is that you’re being ridiculous. However if it really is that big a deal than where’s the harm in asking?

Shgytfgtf111 · 06/04/2022 08:41

Could you arrange to sit at a desk that is near to the loo? That way you can nip there as often as needed without having to worry as much about people noticing and judging for 'not working'.

garlictwist · 06/04/2022 08:41

@creol

I know i probably am BU here, but recently work want us to go into the office 1 day a week. I was expecting to be on mat leave by the time this happened.

Im 7 months pregnant, quite large with it as well, i keep getting told i look 9 months by lots of lovely people.

Although it is only 1 day a week i get myself in such a tizz the night before, the anxiety of needing the loo so much, i am also having a few issues in that area so i dread being out the house let alone in an office full of people. Plus i cannot extend childcare past a certain time on that day due to capacity so i am late to pick ds up which is horrible for us both, im driving fast and stressing trying to get to him.

What reasons can i give to back up the request to wfh until i go on mat leave? Other than the truth.

Apologies if i am bring insensitive and potentially using real problems that other pregnant women have but i just know telling them the real reasons wont go down well. At ALL!

I get it the toilet thing. I am not pregnant but I have an incredibly weak bladder and I need to wee about every half an hour during the day, or I get so desperate it's painful. I'm interviewing today at work and I am already panicking about how I am going to manage.

HeyBlaby · 06/04/2022 08:41

@nothappyatwork clearly I missed the part of our code of conduct that says we must be sympathetic to every given situation, no matter how ridiculous.

HeyBlaby · 06/04/2022 08:42

And going by the majority of replies this is the general consensus