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Original poster

To suddenly be miserable that I’m no longer young

122 replies

Gotajobthrunepotism · 05/04/2022 18:53

I’m 40! It feels like just yesterday I was young and a bit more pretty. Now I just feel old and past it.

I’m beginning to regret not doing things when I was younger. Like travelling the world... and going to more gigs

DH and I were at a gig recently for the first time in years... and it was just amazing to be out at night and in the city.

I just have this horrible feeling that my best days are in the past.

I should be grateful: I have a lovely husband and child. A nice house and an ok career (nothing high flying but it pays ok)

Ainu to be a bit sad about this ?

OP posts:
manycups · 05/04/2022 18:56

If you consider the alternative, it might cheer you up!

Nsky · 05/04/2022 18:56

You are, get over it, I’m 60 in 7 weeks, single not through choice, feel ok, and glad life's kind

SevenWaystoLeave · 05/04/2022 18:57

If you went to a gig recently what's stopping you going to more? Or stopping you traveling or doing anything else you'd like to do with your life?

HeDidWhattt · 05/04/2022 18:58

Book more gigs, if it’s something you enjoy…do it more!

Vanderpump · 05/04/2022 18:59

Not a lot you can do about it other than make the next 40 years really count

DramaAlpaca · 05/04/2022 18:59

I don't feel like that. I'm late 50s and grateful to be here, happy and in good health. My children are grown now and I'm enjoying this new phase of my life.

Bluetowelsandflannels · 05/04/2022 18:59

God 40 is nothing, just start doing some more of that stuff

Original poster
Gotajobthrunepotism · 05/04/2022 18:59

@SevenWaystoLeave I suppose you’re right. I was thinking money and time and getting a babysitter, but there’s ways round all of that

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 05/04/2022 19:00

When you're 50, you'll look back at now and think how young you were. And you'll really wish you'd done everything you could, upon today's realisation, to spend the time since your 40th doing things that made you feel great.

Make it your 40th birthday present to yourself. If there's travelling to be done, do it. If there's gigs to attend, attend them. Do all the things you can, now, that you wish you did before.

mbosnz · 05/04/2022 19:00

No, it's perfectly normal (I recently turned 50). I remember singing Seasons in the Sun, and Those Were the Days My Friend at school singing assemblies, and boy howdy, were those teachers getting a farsighted revenge on the revolting students. . .

Haggisfish3 · 05/04/2022 19:01

I e started going to lads of gigs on my own! I love love love my forties. Fitter than ever and having more fun. So good when dc are old enough to leave without guilt!

Sallycinnamum · 05/04/2022 19:03

I'm 50 next week and my 40s have been brilliant. By far my best decade!

tulips27 · 05/04/2022 19:03

YANBU, but for me I wouldn't necessarily go back to my 20s, I'd probably go for early 30s given a choice.

HellToTheNope · 05/04/2022 19:03

I just have this horrible feeling that my best days are in the past.

FGS, stop moaning. Your life will be exactly what you make it out to be. You have another entire lifetime to live, it's absurd that you're thinking your "best days" are in the past.

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 05/04/2022 19:03

It’s easy to remember our youth with rose tinted glasses - try to remember the reality.

I was so self conscious of how I looked, I had some terrible boyfriends. I remember panicking that I’d never get married, have a baby. Was constantly comparing myself to others. Wasn’t taken seriously at work, lived in a series of shitty flats and houseshares.

I have a fabulous life now compared to then and I don’t give a fuck what other people think about me (must be a connection there!)

Original poster
Gotajobthrunepotism · 05/04/2022 19:05

@HellToTheNope, mum? Is that you? Giving me a kick up the arse lol

OP posts:
AbsentmindedWoman · 05/04/2022 19:08

I get massive waves of this too at 37. It's hard.

Like yeah I'm hugely appreciative I'm not dead, but that's a low bar - and I have a raft of autoimmune conditions that exhaust me and are slowly impacting more every year.

I see all my successful friends with lovely children, high flying careers and seemingly boundless energy and it makes me wistful, though glad for them as I don't want their lives - I wanted my own version, though.

At one point I thought my life would look a bit more like theirs and I expected the healthier feelings and ability of 'youth' to last much longer than they have done.

SevenWaystoLeave · 05/04/2022 19:08

@Haggisfish3

I e started going to lads of gigs on my own! I love love love my forties. Fitter than ever and having more fun. So good when dc are old enough to leave without guilt!
This! I couldn't afford to do anything when I was younger, now I have some financial security and a DC who's a bit older so easier to work around or to take with us, life's a lot more fun. Too many people usher themselves into old age by just deciding they're past it and then never seeking out anything new or interesting to do, just becoming stuck in routine. Life is - hopefully - long and there's lots to do.
HellToTheNope · 05/04/2022 19:09

[quote Gotajobthrunepotism]@HellToTheNope, mum? Is that you? Giving me a kick up the arse lol[/quote]
You need one, honestly.

AbsentmindedWoman · 05/04/2022 19:10

I have a fabulous life now compared to then and I don’t give a fuck what other people think about me (must be a connection there!)

This only works if you have actually got a fabulous life, though. It sounds like you are very content on many fronts.

I'm really lucky in many ways, but my life has not turned out like I hoped.

Sunnytwobridges · 05/04/2022 19:13

I'd do anything to be 40 again, I'm 50 and single, and overweight and unattractive with health issues. So I say be thankful for what you have, 40 is nothing, and you are married with DC. You have much more than many have. Just remember to enjoy it because time goes by so fast, I regret that I didnt make the most of my 40s while I was looking and feeling better than I am now. Smile

shinynewapple22 · 05/04/2022 19:15

I think 40 can be a difficult age actually, particularly when you have young children and you are working .

I have found that in my late 50s now, DC no longer at home, we have more money and time to do things like go to gigs and travel . I think as long as you are able to stay fit and healthy a lot of people experience a sort of second youth !

SevenWaystoLeave · 05/04/2022 19:15

@AbsentmindedWoman

I have a fabulous life now compared to then and I don’t give a fuck what other people think about me (must be a connection there!)

This only works if you have actually got a fabulous life, though. It sounds like you are very content on many fronts.

I'm really lucky in many ways, but my life has not turned out like I hoped.

Nobody has exactly the life they hope. Doesn't mean you have to wallow in regret and misery - that's a choice.
HorribleHerstory · 05/04/2022 19:22

I’m feeling a bit like that OP, I’m nearly 40 so it must be the time of life. For me though it’s linked to the ages my parents were when they died. My oldest DC is already older than I was when I lost my first parent, and next year I’ll be older than they were when they died. Then I’ll be living this weird kind of decade between their ages of death thinking that my days are numbered. I’ve lived most of my life expecting to have a life expectancy of somewhere halfway between their ages at death (41 and 53)I guess that made sense in my head when I was younger. But now it plays on my mind a lot more. I feel too young to die!

Original poster
Gotajobthrunepotism · 05/04/2022 19:23

@HellToTheNope well thank you

OP posts:
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