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AIBU?

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Original poster

When men say "I prefer women without make-up"...

711 replies

ThingThatIBring · 05/04/2022 18:10

AIBU to think that when men say "I prefer women without make-up" that they don't usually know what they're talking about (and don't usually have a clue that women ARE wearing it)?

The reality of this statement is usually:

  • I don't like it when women wear really obvious MAKE-UP make-up (loads of lippy and false eyelashes etc) or when it's badly applied (making it obvious);
  • I like really good-looking fresh-faced young women whose complexions, etc., look smooth without it;
  • I like to think of myself as very wholesome (and maybe a bit of a feminist).

What they DON'T mean (but don't realise they don't mean) is:

  • I prefer the look of the average woman of my own age without any make-up on.

I know so many men who say this, and it always mildly irritates me as it's said like it's a kind of virtue.

As a post-mating-phase human, it's not like it really affects my life. But it always makes me feel for all the women who are still in a position where they're affected by this nonsense...

OP posts:
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18
drpet49 · 05/04/2022 19:17

* I know plenty of women who look better without make up.*

^This. Most men I know prefer women with minimal make up

BOOTS52 · 05/04/2022 19:18

Agree MrOllivander well said. I am in peri meno now and only put make up on when going out as an effort. Am lucky have good skin but a little make up makes me feel better and lightens the face. But if a man is telling a woman what they should and shouldn't wear on their face or clothes would also tell them to feck off. He was no oil painting himself and to criticize me aaagghh then he would be gaslighting me and going around in circles saying he did not say that and a big load of tripe coming out of his mouth to try to say he did not say it. Did my head in so happy single and staying single ha!!!!

Horst · 05/04/2022 19:18

I met not dh wearing no make up at all and can count on one hand how many times I’ve worn any make up since we have been together.

I’ve never been interested in painting my face all the time. Seems like a lot of effort abs expense to look not like me. I also don’t go and get my nails or eyebrows done. I do shave and dye my hair though.

So I think really if a man like you he likes you. If he only likes you in your make up his a dick anyway who opinion and time in my life isn’t wanted nor needed.

HikingforScenery · 05/04/2022 19:19

I’ve never heard anyone say this of maybe I don’t listen enough.

I don’t wear makeup.

Fluffymule · 05/04/2022 19:19

Yes, that Amy Schumer video which is clearly a parody of boyband One Direction singing "You Don't Know You're Beautiful"

The cynical marketing that made them (and their label) £millions for singing "Don't need makeup to cover up, Being the way that you are is enough" was the same that saw them go on to sell 1D branded (shit) make-up to teens that made them even more £millions.

MurmuratingStarling · 05/04/2022 19:20

It annoys the shit out of me too @ThingThatIBring

For a start, I don't give shit if a man prefers me without make up. I will wear it when I want, and as MUCH as I want. Also, although many women look fine without make up, the VAST majority will look better with it on - even if only a little bit, like around the eyes, (and a bit of lippy.)

IMO, men are saying 'don't wear make-up wumman, coz I don't want other men looking at you/finding you attractive.'

I have seen women who have a controlling man, and they have no make up on, they wear skirts below the knee, and tops up to the neck, and they are very thin. Most of them don't choose that look - OR the outfit. It's what their man wants. (Them looking dull and drab.) And she must NOT be carrying any extra weight.

Random789 · 05/04/2022 19:20

I agree that it is a bit annoying when men say this. And in addition to the reasons the OP gives for finding it annoying, italso indicates a kind of self-absorbed assumption that women put on make up for men's benefit. It seems to say 'Hey! I give you permission not to wear make up: It will not make you less attractive to me!'

When I wear make up, it is usually to make myself feel less inferior/anxious around other women, or just to fit in better. Not to impress men with my beauty.

IcedPurple · 05/04/2022 19:21

Are we still listening to mens’ opinions on makeup!? Who cares what they like!? Men have alot of opinions on makeup for people who don’t wear it.

This.

And it always makes me laugh when men come onto a discussion about make up and say "Relax ladies! I'm a man and I'm here to tell you that we men don't like women who wear make up. So throw away the blusher and lip gloss!"

Why should we care what 'men' think?

Not to mention, of course, that as others have said men actually do prefer women with make up. It's just that they think 'make up' means bright red lipstick and heavy black eyeliner. In reality the 'natural' women that they fancy, whether on the telly or in 'real life', are probably wearing make up, albeit the sort of 'natural' make up that takes much more skill to apply than the Katie Price look.

Men haven't got a clue.

MurmuratingStarling · 05/04/2022 19:22

@Random789

It also indicates a kind of self-absorbed assumption that women put on make up for men's benefit. It seems to say 'Hey! I give you permission not to wear make up: It will not make you less attractive to me!'

This too. I was gonna say something similar.

Like we NEED a man's permission to do ANYthing. Hmm

OfstedOffred · 05/04/2022 19:22

If you look better without makeup, you're doing it wrong.
Or... you have a different idea of what it means to look good.

Also I think when you are a person who doesnt wear makeup often you make lifestyle choices that mean you look better without it anyway.

Ladyli · 05/04/2022 19:23

At the end of the day it’s about what we as women feel comfortable doing that is what’s attractive tbh!!! Confidence

MurmuratingStarling · 05/04/2022 19:23

Well said @IcedPurple

IcedPurple · 05/04/2022 19:23

@drpet49

* I know plenty of women who look better without make up.*

^This. Most men I know prefer women with minimal make up

Most men haven't got a clue what 'minimal make up' is though.

A woman could be wearing a ton of products, which took a lot of time and skill to apply, and still seem to be wearing 'minimal make up'.

What men really mean is that they don't want to 'see' make up, but they still appreciate the results, even if they don't know it.

TheNinny · 05/04/2022 19:24

I’ve only had two men say this to me in conversation but have never seen either of them with a woman who wasn’t wearing any 🤷‍♀️

Kurtanforpm · 05/04/2022 19:24

They haven’t seen me.

I don’t wear any make up, ever (can’t be arsed/can’t afford it/don’t know and don’t care enough to want to know how to apply if properly).

I look like i’ve just been dug up.

Painiscrap · 05/04/2022 19:24

Years ago I worked with a nurse who was married to a Consultant Radiologist. They had been married for over 20 years and she told me he had never seen her awake without makeup!

She said she used to have her bedroom lights out when she removed her makeup and went to bed, then she was always up early in the morning and showered and applied her makeup before he got up! Weird 🤷🏼‍♀️

OliveLover01 · 05/04/2022 19:24

I think if you have make up on, then it’s probably a neg.

Maybe men do like women without makeup on. But do we walk up to weedy looking men and say ‘actually I like my men ripped like Jean Claude Van Damm’ or vice versa? No. No normal person would.

It’s basically saying you may think you look pretty but I only like women who are so pretty they don’t need to conform to the standard of beauty that men have spent the last few thousand years dictating…on other words, not you. Angry

MurmuratingStarling · 05/04/2022 19:25

@IcedPurple

And it always makes me laugh when men come onto a discussion about make up and say "Relax ladies! I'm a man and I'm here to tell you that we men don't like women who wear make up. So throw away the blusher and lip gloss.

OMG it boils my blood when men come onto message forums or Twitter or whatever, and say this shit!

As you said, why the fuck do they think we care about their opinions? Hmm

DrSbaitso · 05/04/2022 19:25

Also I think when you are a person who doesnt wear makeup often you make lifestyle choices that mean you look better without it anyway.

🤣 🤣 🤣

TheMoreYouKnow · 05/04/2022 19:26

They don't actually mean it. What they mean is they prefer their wife without make up so no one else will fancy them. As soon as a woman walks by who has make up on as part of the package then most will look. My ex always said this then ended up with a girl from a make up counter who plasters it in every single day. I doubt he's seen her without it. Good luck to her keeping up that facade!Grin

Aretina · 05/04/2022 19:27

I don't wear makeup. I don't own any. And I look amazing.

But if a man commented on it, I would have an urge to put on a full face of slap. It's no one else's business what I do with my face, and I don't need anyone's approval.

Stravaig · 05/04/2022 19:28

Well it's pretty great if you're a woman who never wears makeup 🤣

Gelasia · 05/04/2022 19:28

I haven't worn makeup since I was eighteen except for spots that really needed it lol. So my husband says this to me but he'd better had, hadn't he, because I have no intention of changing it. I do believe him though. He fell in love with me and married me all without makeup so it can't be that bad.

IcedPurple · 05/04/2022 19:29

[quote MurmuratingStarling]@IcedPurple

And it always makes me laugh when men come onto a discussion about make up and say "Relax ladies! I'm a man and I'm here to tell you that we men don't like women who wear make up. So throw away the blusher and lip gloss.

OMG it boils my blood when men come onto message forums or Twitter or whatever, and say this shit!

As you said, why the fuck do they think we care about their opinions? Hmm[/quote]
Always reminds me of this.

When men say "I prefer women without make-up"...
Gelasia · 05/04/2022 19:30

Also, I think I look better without it on because I look more like me, and I like my face fine.

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