When men say "I prefer women without make-up"...

[ThingThatIBring]

AIBU to think that when men say "I prefer women without make-up" that they don't usually know what they're talking about (and don't usually have a clue that women ARE wearing it)?

The reality of this statement is usually:

• I don't like it when women wear really obvious MAKE-UP make-up (loads of lippy and false eyelashes etc) or when it's badly applied (making it obvious);
• I like really good-looking fresh-faced young women whose complexions, etc., look smooth without it;
• I like to think of myself as very wholesome (and maybe a bit of a feminist).

What they DON'T mean (but don't realise they don't mean) is:

• I prefer the look of the average woman of my own age without any make-up on.

I know so many men who say this, and it always mildly irritates me as it's said like it's a kind of virtue.

As a post-mating-phase human, it's not like it really affects my life. But it always makes me feel for all the women who are still in a position where they're affected by this nonsense...

post-mating-phase human

YABU for using this phrase. You might not be interested in having a sex life anymore, doesn't mean women in general have an expiration date, and honestly this is a damaging and misogynistic attitude.

Well quite. But the OP was all about the opinion itself.

That was badly quoted. This was a reply to the person saying it was rude to march up to someone to tell them.

Ha yes they actually mean I prefer to date a woman who needs no make up to look perfect and I’d like a gold star for being so kind as to not insist she cake herself in slap before seeing my mates. Because. Me a good man. You woman. With more time free to cook for me without all that makeup malarkey. I’m such a good man.

TBH men don't care about a lot of the grooming stuff women waste time and money on. The beauty industry stands to lose billions if we all cotton on to this.

I like men who are more interested in what’s between my ears than what’s on my face.

[quote Porcupineintherough]@Comedycook and do you have no feelings about make up on men? I prefer my men without make up.[/quote]
How is that relevant? Don’t pretend you think there’s the same cultural expectation for men to wear make up.

Many women feel uncomfortable without make up, so it’s not a choice really, is it?

@SevenWaystoLeave

post-mating-phase human

YABU for using this phrase. You might not be interested in having a sex life anymore, doesn't mean women in general have an expiration date, and honestly this is a damaging and misogynistic attitude.

Nah. For me, it's accurate. I'm far from feeling I've passed any kind of expiration date. I just have no interest in attracting a mate any more. It's great.

YANBU. they want to benefit from the grooming but they don’t want to approve of it.

Also - those that don’t wear make up don’t understand what ‘natural’ make up is. Men (in particular) will say they love a woman with a bare face and point to a photo of a woman on the red carpet wearing a natural face that probably took the best part of an hour to apply

@ChiefWiggumsBoy
There have been periods of history when wearing make up was down to class rather than sex, so yes it's relevant. Nothing innately feminine about make up, it's just fashion.

DH says this. He means that he doesn't think that women need to spent time putting on makeup when it's who they are and not what they look like that's most important.

I do find it interesting that you associate this sentiment with left leaning men. I usually find it's the opposite - it's more of a conservative men thing with the misogynistic madonna/whore type undertones, as well as the fact that there is a bit of an elitist/privilege element to looking good with "no makeup".

@Ladyli

My husband always tells me he prefers me without makeup, I used to have lovely skin but now suffer from rosacea so I wear make up which makes me feel better. However he still prefers me with no make up !

There’s a difference between a husband saying to his wife she looks lovely without makeup and a man telling random women he prefers women with no makeup. My husband prefers me with no makeup but he’s never passed comment on other women either as a group or as individuals, and especially not directly to them, like celebrities have to put up with on social media/women have to put up with on online saying and in real life, because it’s none of his business and he isn’t rude.

When men say "I prefer women without make up" they are really announcing "I am a misogynistic that you thinks any woman cares what I think about their appearance. I probably also have a toxic idea about purity of my sexual partners and think I can dress it up as being a Nice Guy."

*misogynistic twat

[quote Porcupineintherough]@ChiefWiggumsBoy
There have been periods of history when wearing make up was down to class rather than sex, so yes it's relevant. Nothing innately feminine about make up, it's just fashion.[/quote]
It's not relevant in the same way at all though, because as well as what a PP pointed out, there are also many more societal connotations about women who wear makeup or don't wear makeup.

So men wearing makeup is actually really nothing to do with a discussion about men's apparent preferences (or not) to specifically women who wear makeup.

Not that I usually make a habit of defending men, but as a lesbian, I definitely prefer no makeup, and also definitely know what that looks like. So maybe they're not all spouting nonsense!

@univmum

TBH men don't care about a lot of the grooming stuff women waste time and money on. The beauty industry stands to lose billions if we all cotton on to this.

Only if we were doing it for men in the first place....

it always mildly irritates me as it's said like it's a kind of virtue.

I was in a long term relationship with somebody who used to spend about an hour every day putting her face on and about half an hour taking it off again. She wouldn’t leave the house without it and it could be quite inhibiting at times.

I am now married to somebody who doesn’t wear make up. She looks stunning without it… and we can go out on a whim.

I prefer it and, yes, I do regard it as something of a virtue. Sorry.

If you look better without makeup, you're doing it wrong.

Although some of the "catfish" videos I mentioned earlier have makeup in the "before" shots to make the wearer look worse.

I had an ex say this to me once. I always wear make up but more for a natural look but it does make such a difference. Makes me feel better about myself and definitely look better and healthier. I told him to feck off and next time saw him had a stronger lipstick on to just annoy him. I think some men think we put on make-up to attract other men and they do not like if we get attention, which in fact most of us women put make up on for nobody but ourselves. Anyway he was an arsehole who started putting me down slowly hence why an ex.

Although that said, I'm referring to my partner - not to women in general, about whose makeup choices I have no feeling either way!

@univmum

TBH men don't care about a lot of the grooming stuff women waste time and money on. The beauty industry stands to lose billions if we all cotton on to this.

Maybe I don't care what men think and just like colouring in my face sometimes.

@AntoinetteCosway

Not that I usually make a habit of defending men, but as a lesbian, I definitely prefer no makeup, and also definitely know what that looks like. So maybe they're not all spouting nonsense!

Whenever men have said that to me and I ask for an example they never say eg Jane from finance, they always name celebrities who wear lots of makeup. I’d love to know if a man who prefers ‘women’ without makeup (not saying to his wife he prefers her without makeup, just generalising all women) has actually named a woman who doesn’t wear makeup after saying this.

As so many posters have said men at work/men on dates have said to them they don’t wear makeup or used them as the comparison person who doesn’t wear makeup but they’re wearing a full face/the man has never seen them without makeup.