When men say "I prefer women without make-up"...

[ThingThatIBring]

AIBU to think that when men say "I prefer women without make-up" that they don't usually know what they're talking about (and don't usually have a clue that women ARE wearing it)?

The reality of this statement is usually:

• I don't like it when women wear really obvious MAKE-UP make-up (loads of lippy and false eyelashes etc) or when it's badly applied (making it obvious);
• I like really good-looking fresh-faced young women whose complexions, etc., look smooth without it;
• I like to think of myself as very wholesome (and maybe a bit of a feminist).

What they DON'T mean (but don't realise they don't mean) is:

• I prefer the look of the average woman of my own age without any make-up on.

I know so many men who say this, and it always mildly irritates me as it's said like it's a kind of virtue.

As a post-mating-phase human, it's not like it really affects my life. But it always makes me feel for all the women who are still in a position where they're affected by this nonsense...

@drpet49

* I know plenty of women who look better without make up.*

^This. Most men I know prefer women with minimal make up

@drpet49

No woman looks 'better' without any make up on. Different ... yes. And many look perfectly OK... Nut no woman looks 'better' without ANY make up on.

And who gives a shit what men think?

Also.... you're a man aren't you?

BUT no woman - not nut!

Isn't it a bit sad that you couldn't believe that men couldn't possibly like women unless they wear makeup everyday? Do most people really wear make up all the time? I haven't felt the need since I was an insecure 20 year old. Now I couldn't give a shit.

My husband says he thinks I look best without makeup and it’s been pretty great for my self-esteem, honestly. He also tells me I look nice on the (now rare) occasions I wear makeup, though, there’s no attempt to control my choices.

DH doesn't really give a shit what other people do with their faces and doesn't have the opportunity to have an opinion on me as I don't wear make up.

I am more concerned about the way women talk about make up. Even on this thread. Everybody looks better with it, we look tired without it, every woman needs at least mascara and lip gloss. What the FUCK are we doing?

I don't shave my armpits and actually, most men don't care (some really like it) but women? Oh God, the disgusted nose wrinkles and rude comments.

It's a version of 'You're not like other women' if they say it to you.

It's also a sign of insecurity.

Insecurity part 1 - they think women wear makeup to impress men. This is down to a massive sense of entitlement and an assumption that women's lives revolve around men in general, and then in particular. If women wear makeup to impress men, what other men are they impressing besides them?

Insecurity part 2 - they are afraid someone else will take 'their' woman if she's looking too attractive. Related to 1 ^.

Insecurity part 3 - it's a form of expecting women to dumb themselves down to be acceptable.

Isn't it a bit sad that you couldn't believe that men couldn't possibly like women unless they wear makeup everyday?

I don't think anyone has said this. Just that they're talking out of their arses when they say they would be happier and more turned on if we all never wore any.

@icedpurple

And it always makes me laugh when men come onto a discussion about make up and say "Relax ladies! I'm a man and I'm here to tell you that we men don't like women who wear make up.

@MurmuratingStarling

OMG it boils my blood when men come onto message forums or Twitter or whatever, and say this shit! As you said, why the fuck do they think we care about their opinions?

@IcedPurple

It always reminds me of this...

LOL brilliant!

All I can say is I've never worn make-up - makes me itch - and I've never had boyfriends (now husband) that minded. I'm by no means conventionally beautiful, either.

If today's men are that shallow/insecure that they demand make-up on us or on themselves then - sorry - I would not bother. The whole paradigm needs radically shifting. We are who we are, FFS, and should be proud of it. Just look at most blokes - not picture perfect .... but many very loveable all the same.

@DrSbaitso

Isn't it a bit sad that you couldn't believe that men couldn't possibly like women unless they wear makeup everyday?

I don't think anyone has said this. Just that they're talking out of their arses when they say they would be happier and more turned on if we all never wore any.

Exactly. I don't get why men say it tbh. For a start, it's got fuck-all to do with them what make up women wear, and it's bollocks. Most men wouldn't fancy women more anyway.

I definitely look less hideous better with make-up on. My tactful husband says I look nice with or without it!

I prefer my women with pale lashes, bags and shadows under their eyes, skin blotches and spots, shiny noses and red rimmed eyes.

Yeah course you do love 🙄

Sorry but “ every woman needs mascara and lipgloss” is complete bollocks!

As is “ you’ll look tired without it”.

I don’t wear it but I did have to wear some for a wedding and a magazine shoot. I looked terrible, aged me horribly. That’s from other people. ( I didn’t end up having to have it for the wedding because it just looked bad).

@HesterShaw1

I prefer my women with pale lashes, bags and shadows under their eyes, skin blotches and spots, shiny noses and red rimmed eyes.

Yeah course you do love 🙄

Not that I give a shiny fuck what they profess to "prefer".

@HesterShaw1

I prefer my women with pale lashes, bags and shadows under their eyes, skin blotches and spots, shiny noses and red rimmed eyes.

Yeah course you do love 🙄

I think the men who really can’t tell what no make up looks like must actually not know many women, or the women they see in their daily life all wear make up, it’s not so hard to tell (in real life, in daylight at talking distance)

When men say "I prefer women without make-up".

I wouldnt give a man who said that the time of day. If he isn't quietly and normally going for the natural type woman he wants, sans announcement to gain the gaze of made-up women he (supposedly) doesn't want, then he's off-key anyway.

I know a couple of guys in real life who spout all that but they always seem to be with very glammed up women, and just have flings with the naturals. They're in denial when that's mentioned tho.

Who cares what men think anyway?

I had no make up on when I met DP. Same with a few exs tbh.

He prefers the bare look compared to even natural make up. He's a bit of a hippy.

Men who want perfect women whether made-up or not are wankers.

"I prefer women without makeup"

"And I prefer men who keep their unwanted opinions to themselves"

In fairness DH says he prefers me without make up.

But I’ve found out the true reason for this when we were on holiday with 2 male friends: he just hates me taking ages fannying about to get ready!

They mean make-up like your face is caked in it, like you're wearing a mask. Plenty of women abuse make-up.

Hmmm maybe slightly unreasonable...
Men can have preferences just as women do. If you said you prefer a man who works out, is that offensive?

Hester All these things happen. It doesn't change the person inside, you know. And they happen to men, as well - perhaps even more than to women. But some people - mostly insecure men or women- like to tell us that we shouldn't complain.

I have heard plenty of men say it, and whilst I know they can't always tell when someone is wearing make up, I understand what they mean so it wouldn't make me rage. I have never heard man just randomly announce he likes women who don't wear make up, women with big tits, women with blond hair or any other attribute. It has always been part of a general conversation, even if that conversation is along the lines of someone saying x girl is pretty.

I agree that men trying to dictate what we look like is annoying at best, but all the comments here suggesting women are clearly very unattractive without makeup betray some internalised misogyny imo.

Nobody thinks that about men: that they only look presentable or attractive with their eye bags and blotchy skin covered up. Fwiw I don’t think even subtle makeup would make blokes look more attractive to me.