When men say "I prefer women without make-up"...

[ThingThatIBring]

AIBU to think that when men say "I prefer women without make-up" that they don't usually know what they're talking about (and don't usually have a clue that women ARE wearing it)?

The reality of this statement is usually:

• I don't like it when women wear really obvious MAKE-UP make-up (loads of lippy and false eyelashes etc) or when it's badly applied (making it obvious);
• I like really good-looking fresh-faced young women whose complexions, etc., look smooth without it;
• I like to think of myself as very wholesome (and maybe a bit of a feminist).

What they DON'T mean (but don't realise they don't mean) is:

• I prefer the look of the average woman of my own age without any make-up on.

I know so many men who say this, and it always mildly irritates me as it's said like it's a kind of virtue.

As a post-mating-phase human, it's not like it really affects my life. But it always makes me feel for all the women who are still in a position where they're affected by this nonsense...

It should just be a personal choice. I don't like it so don't wear it.

Other women like to do a lot of beauty things. Each to their own. If you want to do it if not don't.
I use soap on my face and twice a day a moisturiser. I clean my teeth with tooth paste and dental floss them once a day. One shower a day with soap. Don't shave my legs or under arms these days ever. I don't use deoderant. I comb my hair once a day when I get up. I dye it myself at home to ensure it is not grey when it needs doing. I don't currently cut it at all ever. I bite off a finger nail if it gets long. I use nail clippers on my toes. I use nivea lypsyl/lip balm which is by my desk here in my home office as needed.

I don't drink or smoke or have tea/coffee and drink a lot of water.

It should just be a personal choice. I don't like it so don't wear it

I agree. I don’t shave on a regular basis either, and if it were truly a choice I would never bother.

However I am also aware, as we see on this thread, that societally it’s not acceptable. So I keep the hairiness covered up, or if on holiday, swimming, heatwave, etc I will shave rather than have the looks and judgement when I’m in public. I’m even very conscious that I’m the exception when going for smears etc.

Same with make up. I choose not to, but again am aware that it’s expected, especially in certain social situations. Like pp have said, there’s the link with looking “better”, having “made an effort” so for things like job interviews not wearing make up may imply you aren’t bothered about presenting your best self, or not having prepared properly.

[quote Porcupineintherough]@Comedycook and do you have no feelings about make up on men? I prefer my men without make up.[/quote]
Cute that you think this is a "gotcha" moment, but no, women don't frequently and publicly say these kinds of things about men's makeup choices, and then treat it as a vain virtue-signal.

Jeez, the type of mental gymnastics some people will do to defend men from criticism here is fascinating.

Of course men know what women look like without makeup on - they'll have seen their mother and sisters, and if they've ever been in a serious relationship they'll have seen their partner without it. There are also women who never wake up - me for instance - who still go out in public and are seen by men, so there's plenty of opportunities for them to get a point of comparison.

I'm sure it's true for some men. Others might just be saying it to sound progressive.

That should be "never wear makeup", not " never wake up"

I'm 53 and really just beginning to learn about makeup and how to apply it. I don't want much; a bit of mascara, eyeliner, lipstick and I use a BB cream that just evens out the tone a little. And not every day. I have roseacea and found products that work for me.

I had an abusive ex who was always banging on about preferring the natural look. Even the merest hint of eyeliner and it was "Oooh, panda eyes" or "who are you trying to impress?", and so on. So I gave up trying to wear makeup and didn't for 30 years. I've never even curled my eyelashes until this year.

He was a control freak, and his reasoning was that by not wearing makeup, I was less likely to be attractive to other men, so I wouldn't get them even thinking about trying to get closer to me. I can see he was a hotbed of insecurities, and I certainly wouldn't put up with that shit now.

So I will continue to experiment with makeup and enjoy doing so.

"Sounds like you are very lucky to have the kind of skin where people think you are wearing make up. And to have had the experience of life whereby you can consider that the skin problems of people who wear make up tend to be caused by the make up itself. Lucky you."

I don't look like I wear makeup at all, my skin is very average. But many women honestly do not believe other women do not, genuinely, wear makeup or foundation or "at least something!". They honestly think I'm lying when I say I don't apply any moisturiser, or creams. They are THAT conditioned to think that no woman would dare to show their face unless it is somehow "improved".

@aurynne

"Sounds like you are very lucky to have the kind of skin where people think you are wearing make up. And to have had the experience of life whereby you can consider that the skin problems of people who wear make up tend to be caused by the make up itself. Lucky you."

I don't look like I wear makeup at all, my skin is very average. But many women honestly do not believe other women do not, genuinely, wear makeup or foundation or "at least something!". They honestly think I'm lying when I say I don't apply any moisturiser, or creams. They are THAT conditioned to think that no woman would dare to show their face unless it is somehow "improved".

I would say it's more likely they're just trying to compliment you with exaggerated disbelief. A bit like when someone proudly announces they're 55 or whatever, and people pretend not to believe them. Its a reasonably predictable, polite response to someone saying they don't use products. Social convention would mean most wouldn't say 'Yes, I can tell'. Given loads of women don't wear make up, I think its a reach to suggest they really can't conceive of one who doesn't.

@5128gap that could be, if I ever actually mentioned makeup or the fact I don't wear it. Thing is, I can't recall a single time that makeup enters my conversation because for me it is a non issue. It only gets mentioned when someone else does. In fact this thread is the only time I remember talking about makeup. The cases in which other women are in disbelief often starts because someone else starts asking about foundation/creams/etc and someone asks me, I say "I have no idea, I don't use any", and the shock and horror of it starts there. Not because my face is particularly beautiful or my skin perfect... their disbelief originates in the fact I don't use any product apart from water and soap and that apparently is as rare as to require some kind of proof.

"They honestly think I'm lying when I say I don't apply any moisturiser, or creams."

I would advise a minimal of moisturiser with spf protection for summer.

I’m amused at the man coming all the way to mumsnet to argue with women about makeup.

So many other activities, yet they always come!

They just can’t help themselves can they.

Again.. this is a situation where the only response is “who the fuck asked you?!”

No one is asking for men’s opinions on makeup, and women should wear it if they want pr don’t wear it if they don’t.

I’ve yet to see women going out of our way to campaign for all women to wear makeup. Do what you want.

Do men ever have a day where unsolicited opinions are off? I can’t imagine what it feels like to go around telling men my opinions on how they look.

Yet they always go out of their way.. take entire detours to make sure women know we somehow some way need to live up to their likes.

Who tf cares if they like it or not? Men still will come if you’re barefaced. The fact that we are all alive and makeup didn’t exist for our hominid ancestors shows makeup or no makeup some sexing is going to happen.

It would happen more if men shut the f-k up. But here we are. Not sure if it’s hormones or what.. but I’m sick of hearing about what men like.