When men say "I prefer women without make-up"...

[ThingThatIBring]

AIBU to think that when men say "I prefer women without make-up" that they don't usually know what they're talking about (and don't usually have a clue that women ARE wearing it)?

The reality of this statement is usually:

• I don't like it when women wear really obvious MAKE-UP make-up (loads of lippy and false eyelashes etc) or when it's badly applied (making it obvious);
• I like really good-looking fresh-faced young women whose complexions, etc., look smooth without it;
• I like to think of myself as very wholesome (and maybe a bit of a feminist).

What they DON'T mean (but don't realise they don't mean) is:

• I prefer the look of the average woman of my own age without any make-up on.

I know so many men who say this, and it always mildly irritates me as it's said like it's a kind of virtue.

As a post-mating-phase human, it's not like it really affects my life. But it always makes me feel for all the women who are still in a position where they're affected by this nonsense...

It is just a personal choice. I would rather do other things and some people like doing make up. Just do what you want. It is not a big deal. I do think some people who wear make up think almost every one does however but that is not so.

Is it the programming you have received by society that makes you think the majority wear it?

I actually think that the fact so many do wear it means that we are immune to it and forget what women actually look like completely bare faced. I genuinely look ill without any make up

@DrSbaitso

Dolly Parton wears it in spades, plus wigs, and the world would be a much better place if we were all as virtue-less, shallow, vain and morally degenerate as she is.

I once saw Dolly Parton presenting a programme (I think it was the National Lottery) and she came on and said jokingly, "It takes a lot of money to look this cheap!".

I loved her for that comment.

She is awesome!

I genuinely look ill without any make up

I do too, even my mum used to say so. It’s also a reflection of my mental health. I didn’t do my face for five days after my mum died and it was indicative that I was at rock bottom.

@lceni

I also think the posters here claiming that NO-ONE in their social circle wears make-up, are deluded. Many of them will be wearing it, but just like the example in the photo on the bottom left, it's very subtle

I disagree. Many women don't wear it. They simply just can't be bothered or don't want to. No idea why that is hard to believe? Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with wearing makeup. Is it the programming you have received by society that makes you think the majority wear it?

Not programming, no, just a wide experience of different age groups and social settings. If you see other women mainly in a day time setting, particularly if home based, it may well lead you to conclude that many don't wear it. But if you see lots of different women of varying age groups in a variety of settings, including when going out in the evening, the conclusion would typically be that most women wear make up sometimes.

I once saw Dolly Parton presenting a programme (I think it was the National Lottery) and she came on and said jokingly, "It takes a lot of money to look this cheap!".

She was also asked if she was offended by "dumb blonde" jokes. Her response: "Why would I be? I know I ain't dumb and we all know I ain't blonde!"

Hmmmmm. I think you are being a bit unreasonable, depending on the tone/context. You are probably right that men often think a woman is not wearing any make-up, when in fact she is wearing some light and natural looking make-up. But I think plenty of men do genuinely think many women look better without a very made-up look (so do I!) and I think they are allowed to say so (at the right time and place, to the right person...). DH and I might have conversations from time to time about the horrors of heavy make-up and how women would look much better without (usually while watching tv).

I don't hear "so many men" say this though.

I never knew so many women wore makeup. Most of the women I know my age don't.

Are you sure? I'm 50. I'd say I know plenty of women who often don't wear make up (including myself). At least half. But I'd say very few never wear make-up to go out in evening etc.

@DrSbaitso

I once saw Dolly Parton presenting a programme (I think it was the National Lottery) and she came on and said jokingly, "It takes a lot of money to look this cheap!".

She was also asked if she was offended by "dumb blonde" jokes. Her response: "Why would I be? I know I ain't dumb and we all know I ain't blonde!"

She’s great with the one liners. Like when she was asked how long it takes to have her hair done and her response was “I don’t know, I’m not there”. Bloody wonderful woman.

Like when she was asked how long it takes to have her hair done and her response was “I don’t know, I’m not there”.

🤣

@Momijin

I know plenty of women who look better without make up.

I don't! Not one.

@irregularegular

I never knew so many women wore makeup. Most of the women I know my age don't.

Are you sure? I'm 50. I'd say I know plenty of women who often don't wear make up (including myself). At least half. But I'd say very few never wear make-up to go out in evening etc.

Well, it has been a while since I have gone 'out out.' More a quick drink after doing an activity. But I think people are talking about wearing it as the norm, not on occasions. I'll change my previous statement to many women I know, obviously in my social circle, do not wear make up day to day. No idea if people still believe that to be a delusional statement. I guess like attracts like so maybe it would be surprising to others.

@DrSbaitso

When I found out my (then) new GF wasn't actually pink and gold I felt so hard done by

Like this?

I can get that not everyone will like this look, but it's interesting to look at and a form of art. Do people really think she's trying to fool anyone into thinking it's natural? Is the point even to make her look objectively beautiful?

When it's something like in the attached picture, I don't think that there's any suggestion that she is saying "this is my face". More "my face is the canvas on which the art has been created". Which has merit, even if it's not to everyone's taste. I don't think that even the most obtuse troglodyte of a man will claim that she's trying to trick anyone (remember that Moroccan man who sued his new wife when he saw what she really looked like on the morning after their wedding).

When I see the caterpillar-esque false eyelashes which seem to be in vogue (a poster upthread insinuated that it was a Merseyside thing, but it's definitely more widespread than that), I do wonder what the motivation was and what they thought they'd achieve. Neither beautiful, nor interesting. I often think (to myself, I'd never say it out loud) that they'd look better if they hadn't bothered. But then that's hardly the only fashion in my lifetime that has bewildered me (I don't get the idea behind sky-high stilettos, they look painful and most people struggle to walk in them).

Each to their own, I guess. Rather you than me!

Momijin
"I know plenty of women who look better without make up."

No makeup that you know of. Please ty of people say they are makeup free when actually theyre wearing tinted moisturiser, concealer/even light foundation, light mascara and tinted lipbalm etc

Plenty of*

To the people who think its impossible to think someone looks better with no makeup....

Remember beauty is subjective.

I genuinely think natural skin, including lines and dark circles and blemishes, looks nicer than a more "flawless" face with even a little makeup on.

A lot of it is what you are used to. Because I am used to my own face without any makeup, a face with light concealer, bit of mascara etc looks oddly fake to me, a bit like a doll.

You lose/change a lot when you cover up your face. If someone is tired, seeing it in the dark circles around their eyes changes our emotional response to them and thats important.

Blackmagicqueen
I'm sitting here at my office right now genuinely wearing no makeup. No mascara, no concealer, nothing. Why is it assumed I must have something on my skin? I'm ok with how I look with nothing.

When I see the caterpillar-esque false eyelashes which seem to be in vogue (a poster upthread insinuated that it was a Merseyside thing, but it's definitely more widespread than that), I do wonder what the motivation was and what they thought they'd achieve.

I don't think they gave it much thought beyond the fact that they liked it and wanted to wear it. I wear false lashes sometimes for special events because they create a dramatic look that I like.

Neither beautiful, nor interesting.

Well, that's your opinion and that's fine, you don't need to wear them. But can you get that some people do find them beautiful and interesting, and really don't have a "motivation", or wish to "achieve" anything, beyond that?

[quote MurmuratingStarling]@31flavours

I’m not an incel. I’m happily married with a kid. Live in a £1.2m house. And I think fall in the top 1-2% of earners in the UK (and in my mid 30s).

And I am 23, I am 6 ft tall, blonde, green eyes, £2 million pounds in my handbag, 100 million pounds in the bank, and I am having a secret romance with Leonardo DiCaprio (who bought me a shiny new red corvette last week.) Oh, and I own a £10 million pound home in Sandbanks, Bournemouth, and a £30 million home in London.[/quote]
Good for you.

My point was not every man that holds a masculine frame and calls out the female double standards (plenty of male double standards are fair game) is an incel. You resort to shaming language to try and diminish me as some weirdo loser. Doesn’t work, I’m doing more than Ok.

I'll change my previous statement to many women I know, obviously in my social circle, do not wear make up day to day. No idea if people still believe that to be a delusional statement. I guess like attracts like so maybe it would be surprising to others.

No, that would be true for me too. I sometimes do wear make-up, but I often don't, and I know many others who are similar, or who wear make-up even less than me.

My point was not every man that holds a masculine frame and calls out the female double standards (plenty of male double standards are fair game) is an incel.

Any man who goes to Mumsnet to whinge about men having to settle for unattractive whales and women existing on TV ain't getting any.

@31flavours

Bless.

@DrSbaitso

My point was not every man that holds a masculine frame and calls out the female double standards (plenty of male double standards are fair game) is an incel.

Any man who goes to Mumsnet to whinge about men having to settle for unattractive whales and women existing on TV ain't getting any.

This. ^

And any man who speaks about women like this is very likely an INCEL.

99% mean OTT... though tbh it's an odd thing to say to a potential partner... but fair if talking to a friend. Men with / without make-up... if its good one way its good the other.

The one thing that puzzles me is fake eyebrows... never in the history of the earth will you ever here a man say....
Yes she's funny and gorgeous, but you know what, if she shaved her eyebrows off and coloured in new ones (maybe an inch higher) she'd be perfect.... but she won't so I've had to break it off. 🙄🙄🙄😁
Sorry to any eyebrow people.

@31flavours

You resort to shaming language to try and diminish me as some weirdo loser.

Can you point out where I did that? (Before this post of yours at 14.25 today.)