When men say "I prefer women without make-up"...

[ThingThatIBring]

AIBU to think that when men say "I prefer women without make-up" that they don't usually know what they're talking about (and don't usually have a clue that women ARE wearing it)?

The reality of this statement is usually:

• I don't like it when women wear really obvious MAKE-UP make-up (loads of lippy and false eyelashes etc) or when it's badly applied (making it obvious);
• I like really good-looking fresh-faced young women whose complexions, etc., look smooth without it;
• I like to think of myself as very wholesome (and maybe a bit of a feminist).

What they DON'T mean (but don't realise they don't mean) is:

• I prefer the look of the average woman of my own age without any make-up on.

I know so many men who say this, and it always mildly irritates me as it's said like it's a kind of virtue.

As a post-mating-phase human, it's not like it really affects my life. But it always makes me feel for all the women who are still in a position where they're affected by this nonsense...

It's about a natural look not no make up. I think men get this confused. I hate the full face, slapped on over the top make up that some women young and old think is a good look. To me it just shows they are hiding something!

Who cares what men prefer

A ‘friend’ told me that he thought I’d look ‘better’ without make up on and compared me unfavourably to another girl - we were teenagers and I think I was going through a glittery eye make up phase so it was obvious I wore make up.

I wish I had said something at the time but I didn't - even now I still remember his comment.

What makes me laugh is he’s now married to a lovely woman - who wears quite a lot of obvious make up (red lips etc). She looks great but I wonder if his views have changed

She looks great but I wonder if his views have changed

You were teenagers so it would be surprising if they hadn't!

@Homerlovesdonuts

It's about a natural look not no make up. I think men get this confused. I hate the full face, slapped on over the top make up that some women young and old think is a good look. To me it just shows they are hiding something!

Most likely it's just an aesthetic that they like, rather than an act of calculated dishonesty.

@DrSbaitso

She looks great but I wonder if his views have changed

You were teenagers so it would be surprising if they hadn't!

Ha true but they married at about 21!

If you think there haven't been any moralistic posts about trickery, fakery and so on, as if blusher were akin to a Ponzi scheme, you haven't been reading.

If you are reading it as moralistic, that’s your own internalism at play.

It's makeup, not an investment scam. It's got no moral value.

Something being fake doesn’t have to rise to the level of Ponzi. I’m not sure why people are so worked up about it, if it isn’t important.

a person is too thick to realise purple eyelids and winged liner don't exist in nature

Presumably you know about ‘natural’ makeup?

Nothing but it’s never going to happen because I don’t want it to any more than I want them to see my naked body.

You are equating people seeing your naked face to people seeing your naked body? That’s quite the statement and shows how far society has gone in leading women to think this way about how their naked face might present to the world.

Ifyou are reading it as moralistic, that’s your own internalism at play.

This alone is so risible that I'm not wasting my time with the rest of it. It's laughable without actually being entertaining.

I wear make up every day but have spent years attempting to perfect the natural look. I worked with a guy who frequently told me ‘well you don’t wear make up’. I told him many times that I actually WAS wearing make up. One Sunday I had been home all day and made a late evening dash to the local supermarket sans make up and bumped into him 😂 he asked me repeatedly if I was okay … I told him I was fine but he looked so confused. And then the penny dropped. I don’t think he ever commented on my face after that …

@31flavours

I’m not an incel. I’m happily married with a kid. Live in a £1.2m house. And I think fall in the top 1-2% of earners in the UK (and in my mid 30s).

And I am 23, I am 6 ft tall, blonde, green eyes, £2 million pounds in my handbag, 100 million pounds in the bank, and I am having a secret romance with Leonardo DiCaprio (who bought me a shiny new red corvette last week.) Oh, and I own a £10 million pound home in Sandbanks, Bournemouth, and a £30 million home in London.

[quote MurmuratingStarling]@31flavours

I’m not an incel. I’m happily married with a kid. Live in a £1.2m house. And I think fall in the top 1-2% of earners in the UK (and in my mid 30s).

And I am 23, I am 6 ft tall, blonde, green eyes, £2 million pounds in my handbag, 100 million pounds in the bank, and I am having a secret romance with Leonardo DiCaprio (who bought me a shiny new red corvette last week.) Oh, and I own a £10 million pound home in Sandbanks, Bournemouth, and a £30 million home in London.[/quote]
Yeah but you wear makeup, don't you? Don't you? Heathen!

@HRTQueen

I find this an odd thing to say. I’ve often had men tell me I prefer brunettes or I like little women

Did they think my knickers would suddenly drop to the floor in gratitude that I could be their perfect woman

Men as so self indulgent to think we need their approval and praise

This is the thing I’m driving at. Do you ever express your preferences for tall, strong or successful men? Because plenty of women do and it’s just normal conversation. In fact there are daytime TV shows constantly spouting about female preferences.

Men say anything about their preferences and it’s eye rolls and shaming language.

Why the big deal

@navydear

They don't prefer a woman without makeup..believe me, it's just the Natural makeup look that all men like..the makeup u wear that just hides blemishes and gives a nice smooth finish..it's in their Makeup as men to look for a youthful smooth glow.

100% this. Most men will like the look of the young woman in the pic top right -or even bottom left.

I also think the posters here claiming that NO-ONE in their social circle wears make-up, are deluded. Many of them will be wearing it, but just like the example in the photo on the bottom left, it's very subtle.

@DrSbaitso

For a fabulously rich man with a beautiful wife, massive home and amazing child, 50shades, you aren't half...insecure.

31flavours no I do not tell men my preferences unless it’s come up in conversation

These comments have been made as statements to me not as part of a conversation I find it patronising. Why do I care that their preference is xyz I’m sure if I was 5’10 and blonde they wouldn’t have said that

Funny now I’m older I’m still small and still brunette I don’t get these comments

@DrSbaitso

For a fabulously rich man with a beautiful wife, massive home and amazing child, 50shades, you aren't half...insecure.

Oh is 50shades a hugely successful man with a massive home and a gorgeous wife too, as well as @31flavours?? Wow!

Sorry, 50shades is my nickname for 31flavours.

I don't wear it and have never had a problem with men. Very occasionally I have worn it but not often at all. I didn't even wear it in my 20s either by the way and it never held me back. I just cannot be bothered.

I also think the posters here claiming that NO-ONE in their social circle wears make-up, are deluded. Many of them will be wearing it, but just like the example in the photo on the bottom left, it's very subtle.

100% this. Even my own mother could not tell whether I was wearing makeup or not. I went barefaced once and my own mother thought i was wearing makeup! But I wasn't.

So there's really no need to wear makeup, because everyone will assume we're wearing it, even when we're not?

@Stravaig

So there's really no need to wear makeup, because everyone will assume we're wearing it, even when we're not?

Of course there's no "need". You wear it if you want to. And a lot of people want to.

I also think the posters here claiming that NO-ONE in their social circle wears make-up, are deluded. Many of them will be wearing it, but just like the example in the photo on the bottom left, it's very subtle

I disagree. Many women don't wear it. They simply just can't be bothered or don't want to. No idea why that is hard to believe? Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with wearing makeup. Is it the programming you have received by society that makes you think the majority wear it?

@lceni majority of women wear it at my workplace. Many (like me) bring their giant makeup bags to work so that they can redo their makeup for a night out. I actually come from a country where the vast majority of women don't wear makeup on a day to day basis, but will wear for weddings/special events. But I moved to London at 19 where so many women wore makeup and where it was makeup paradise with so many affordable good quality brands. So I guess I became influenced as well and I now wear makeup everyday.

@DrSbaitso

Sorry, 50shades is my nickname for 31flavours.

Oooop sorry