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AIBU?

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Original poster

When men say "I prefer women without make-up"...

711 replies

ThingThatIBring · 05/04/2022 18:10

AIBU to think that when men say "I prefer women without make-up" that they don't usually know what they're talking about (and don't usually have a clue that women ARE wearing it)?

The reality of this statement is usually:

  • I don't like it when women wear really obvious MAKE-UP make-up (loads of lippy and false eyelashes etc) or when it's badly applied (making it obvious);
  • I like really good-looking fresh-faced young women whose complexions, etc., look smooth without it;
  • I like to think of myself as very wholesome (and maybe a bit of a feminist).

What they DON'T mean (but don't realise they don't mean) is:

  • I prefer the look of the average woman of my own age without any make-up on.

I know so many men who say this, and it always mildly irritates me as it's said like it's a kind of virtue.

As a post-mating-phase human, it's not like it really affects my life. But it always makes me feel for all the women who are still in a position where they're affected by this nonsense...

OP posts:
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18
h1nch · 07/04/2022 18:53

I’m not a teenager, I’m a grown woman so why would I care about what a man (or woman) thinks about the way I look unless it was for a job interview?

Nomoreusernames1244 · 07/04/2022 19:06

I’m not a teenager, I’m a grown woman so why would I care about what a man (or woman) thinks about the way I look unless it was for a job interview?

Even in a job interview, unless you’re a model or actress etc it’s your abilities not looks they are assessing. As long as you’re clean and professionally attired that’s all you need.

LittleBearPad · 07/04/2022 19:12

@Nomoreusernames1244

I’m not a teenager, I’m a grown woman so why would I care about what a man (or woman) thinks about the way I look unless it was for a job interview?

Even in a job interview, unless you’re a model or actress etc it’s your abilities not looks they are assessing. As long as you’re clean and professionally attired that’s all you need.

I’m sorry but this isn’t true. Anything customer facing your image will be part of the consideration. Pretending it won’t is naive
LittleBearPad · 07/04/2022 19:14

Even non customer facing it will be a consideration. That doesn’t mean you have to wear make up or not but first impressions are important and made before most people open their mouths

Kolani · 07/04/2022 19:25

@Marathoninjury

My friends boyfriend said he preferred women without makeup, I asked like who for example? He said Reece Witherspoon, Halle berry and Sandra bullock always look great and don’t wear makeup. Then said every man fancies at least one of the women from friends and every woman wanted to be one of them and they didn’t wear makeup but then the kardashians shot to fame and ‘the main one’ wear makeup and ‘another one’ sells it and that’s why it’s so popular now.

That was an interesting conversation.

An interesting conversation that just keeps giving no doubt Wink.
lceni · 07/04/2022 19:48

@LittleBearPad

Even non customer facing it will be a consideration. That doesn’t mean you have to wear make up or not but first impressions are important and made before most people open their mouths
This is why I believe I interviews should be blind. People are unable to unpick looks from capability. This is why certain demographics fail at the interview stage. I believe in a review done by the Civil Service on this, the percentage of BAME people who didn't pass an interview stage was incredibly high.
MurmuratingStarling · 07/04/2022 20:13

@5128gap

Interesting. Its not the intended takeaway from the thread I realise, but I now can't stop wondering if I too could look loads better in make up! (if I had it done properly rather than slap on a bit of mascara and lipstick).

Not sure, as it depends on the individual. Smile

I used to know this young woman (early 20s,) who lived next door to me, who had a Venezuelan mother and a half Italian/half Irish father.

She was very pretty; lovely smile, long glossy dark-brown hair, deep brown eyes, and was 5 ft 8-ish and legs up to her armpits! I always thought 'aww, she's so pretty, she doesn't even need make up to look good' Grin She didn't look like she ever wore it. Not sure if she did, as it was 20 years ago now!

Then she popped around to our house late one afternoon to ask if we would feed her cat in the morning as she was going out, and wasn't coming back til tomorrow. She was off to someone's 30th birthday party, and was made up - and dressed up to the nines.

And OMG, she looked STUNNING! Shock Like Miss World or a supermodel or something. She was pretty before, but she looked spectacular.

So yeah, as I said, although I think most women look fine without make up, EVERY woman looks better with make up. JMHO.

The woman I knew looked a bit like the woman in pic 1, (without make up,) and like the woman in pic 2 with it.

When men say "I prefer women without make-up"...
When men say "I prefer women without make-up"...
Nomoreusernames1244 · 07/04/2022 20:32

he woman I knew looked a bit like the woman in pic 1, (without make up,) and like the woman in pic 2 with it

I think the woman in pic 1 looks way nicer. Not a fan of pic 2.

DrSbaitso · 07/04/2022 20:36

I'm not sure if both pics are the same woman, but they're both wearing makeup. Woman 2 has contouring on her nose; amazing the difference that can make.

5128gap · 07/04/2022 20:38

Goodness. Well Starling, I think I shall be booking an appointment! (Just for experimental purposes, to test this theory, obviously. Am very high minded person really, who despises make up and wouldn't wish to look better if i could. In fact, i consider it my feminist duty to look WORSE. But a theory must be tested!) Will report back!!😂

Kolani · 07/04/2022 20:41

I think the woman in pic 1 is Alyssa Milano, very pretty.

DrSbaitso · 07/04/2022 20:42

You can easily use makeup to make yourself look worse. Loads of the catfish/glow up people on TikTok do just that. Dark lines around the eyes and from the nose to the mouth, redden the nose, foundation on the lips to remove natural colour. Takes almost as much skill as doing it the usual way. I'm pretty sure some of them even use prosthetic noses.

TempName01 · 07/04/2022 21:37

The woman in pic one is gorgeous- but she is wearing makeup! Lovely natural makeup.

31flavours · 08/04/2022 00:13

@MurmuratingStarling

Nothing to say *@31flavours* ??? Gone a bit quiet there hmm? Wink
It’s called work my dear. I can only spend 25% of my time pissing about.
31flavours · 08/04/2022 00:46

@DrSbaitso

Yes, Mr Flavours, we know the only shaming language you complain about is the stuff that offends you. We know your whinging about plus size women doesn't count. Did you think we needed further explanation of your whining hypocrisy?
I’m not offended at all. I’m not married to a ‘plus sized woman’ as you call it.

I’m perfectly content with my lot in life. I just see the reality of the world for what it is. Women can have a requirement list longer than war and peace but men expressing a preference for make up or no make up… “that’s controlling”, “why should women have to acquiesce to mens wants”… blah blah blah.

It’s been entertaining to rile up women on this platform who seem totally oblivious to the double standards held in society that benefit them of which I have pointed out many. Instead it’s all victimhood and patriarchy.

It’s been fun but I am going to sign off with this. If your man expresses a preference about your appearance, take it for what it is… his preference. And it’s ok for him to have a view on how you look. If you’re so mistrusting off dismissive of your mans wants, then ask yourself why?

AlmostAJillSandwich · 08/04/2022 03:43

Been with my partner a year and a half, he's seen a few social media profile pics of me with makeup, but in person i've never worn so much as a tinted moisturiser around him, even on shitty skin days. He has never once commented about my lack of it. I actually feel self conscious in public with makeup on, i'd rather be bare faced and spotty than have foundation etc on!

Midlifemusings · 08/04/2022 04:42

Based on this thread it is mostly women who look at other women who don't wear make-up and think they are hideously disgusting, ugly, ill looking beasts who would look so much better with make-up.

I really don't care that women think I look awful or ill for showing my face. I don't even own make-up. My face is what it is. Just like a man's face is what it is.

lightisnotwhite · 08/04/2022 05:06

I think its odd that “looking better with make up” somehow invalidates men saying they don’t like it.
As if a better looking version of face is the important thing rather than your confidence and attitude.

DrSbaitso · 08/04/2022 07:12

Good God, the alpha male's still going. Hasn't your mum switched the WiFi off yet?

DrSbaitso · 08/04/2022 07:23

Based on this thread it is mostly women who look at other women who don't wear make-up and think they are hideously disgusting, ugly, ill looking beasts who would look so much better with make-up.

Well it's mostly women on this thread, so almost all the views on here will be from them. I assure you men don't shy away from expressing their displeasure when they don't consider women attractive enough. The man who's given us the most comments on this thread is a clear basement dweller who's only here to whine about women in the way that most befits the way of the incel. On the plus side, maybe he's picked up some tips; it's clear he hasn't seen sunlight for years so he's going to be peaky.

31flavours · 08/04/2022 07:30

This reply has been deleted

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Fizbosshoes · 08/04/2022 07:34

Those that are so adamant that people do not look better with makeup, where do you draw the line? Do you moisturise, pluck eye brows, brush or style hair, paint nails, wear perfume, there are so many things we do as part of grooming to improve our appearance.

I don't moisturise, pluck my eye brows (maybe a couple of times a year) paint my nails or wear perfume (probably once a month - perfume doesn't alter my appearance though? Confused)
I do brush my hair!! (And I wax my legs)

I think I do look better with make up but I am pretty lazy and also not confident about applying it correctly as its never been part of my daily routine. I put make up on for going out (that is obvious I am wearing it) but I don't know how to do the "make up that doesn't look like you're wearing it" look.
I've never really considered what other people thought of me not wearing it (DH doesn't seem to mind) My friends were quite shocked when I told them I never use moisturiser, so I'm not convinced that would be noticeable.

DrSbaitso · 08/04/2022 07:44

🤣

Come on, Flava, you can't stop there. Keep going!

DrSbaitso · 08/04/2022 08:02

I've just realised that's the first time Flava will ever have heard those words from a woman.

5128gap · 08/04/2022 08:17

@DrSbaitso

I've just realised that's the first time Flava will ever have heard those words from a woman.
😂