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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask regarding COVID - what does 'we just have to live with it' look like in real life?

427 replies

Fay2121 · 04/04/2022 17:26

I keep hearing the phrase.

What is the reality of 'we just have to live with it'.

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 05/04/2022 20:39

@MrOllivander Flowers

HoldingTheDoor · 05/04/2022 21:03

I'm sorry to hear about your Mum, MrOllivander. That's a terrible ordeal. I hope that they get there ASAP.

Unfortunately long waits like this occurred before Covid too. Obviously it makes things worse but it happened pre covid too.

www.edp24.co.uk/news/health/roy-brittain-ambulance-wait-1167006

www.independent.co.uk/news/health/ambulance-waiting-times-wales-demand-nhs-hospitals-a8504786.html

www.brightonandhovenews.org/2016/05/25/waiting-for-an-ambulance-it-may-be-in-a-queue-at-ae/

Bizawit · 05/04/2022 21:08

[quote toomuchlaundry]@Bizawit but I don't remember my son's school not having enough staff to stay safely open pre-COVID. He is currently at home with remote provision and his is not the only school in our area having to close certain year groups. And the teachers are sick not just isolating, so assume this will continue after Easter too. In fact DS is currently having to self study an A-level subject as his subject teacher is too sick to do remote lesson[/quote]
Yes well it’s a pandemic. Everyone will have had it in a few weeks and you can all go back to normal. 💁🏼‍♀️

Eyedropeyeflop · 05/04/2022 21:09

@MrOllivander

No that’s a woefully underfunded NHS.

MrOllivander · 05/04/2022 21:11

[quote Eyedropeyeflop]@MrOllivander

No that’s a woefully underfunded NHS.[/quote]
Bit of everything put together
Underfunded NHS
Government
Covid
Staff shortages
Handover wait times

Perfect storm isn't it?

Eyedropeyeflop · 05/04/2022 21:27

@MrOllivander

It sure is.

I hope your mother is okay, it’s so sad isn’t it being left for that long 😢.

MrOllivander · 05/04/2022 21:30

@Eyedropeyeflop thankfully it's what we needed
They have been debating a financial assessment for 15 mins care, and the incontinence team still haven't seen her
She has Alzheimer's, is incontinent (with no pad supply) and my dad can't cope
So now she's going to hospital and he is refusing to have her home which seems to unfortunately be the best way to do things

Eyedropeyeflop · 05/04/2022 21:37

@MrOllivander

Hopefully she is sorted soon 🤞 . I’ve worked all over the public sector but I can’t do old age/dementia. It makes me cry, and I am a tough bird I don’t cry at anything.

It really is desperate how older people are treated in this country.

dizzydizzydizzy · 05/04/2022 22:16

@Fay2121

Reading here, 'living with it' seems to mean without any empathy for those who are having an awful time.

So sorry for those that are having such a difficult time. Really concerning.

Again back to the news just watched, such huge waiting lists for gynaecological issues. Women in agony, women losing their fertility. How are services going to catch up, when staffing shortages are such an issue.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-60941950

For me, some of it is 'difficult' rather than horrendous and I'm thankful for that.
For instance, DC stuck in a city late at night with no train (cancelled due to staff shortages caused by COVID), another not able to travel to football, we were looking to go away next week but the channel tunnel has delays, DC's learning at home because school is part shut, worrying about exams.
It is all very unsettled.

Yes @Fay2121.

I feel quite upset at the PPs who've said it's just a cold - although I know it is for many. I have had absolutely debilitating fatigue. Needed 6 weeks off work and now in week 8 and still extremely fatigued. I am going to work but having to take many extras breaks. According to my GP, this is common.

dizzydizzydizzy · 05/04/2022 22:19

Oh and I am now earning much less because I have had to massively cut my working hours so I have time to rest.

Dishh · 06/04/2022 02:47

@MangyInseam

If someone told you, in your own home, that you were not allowed to leave or have guests, in case you might spread illness, that would be considered some kind of coercive control.

Older people still have all the normal rights of other adults. Being cared for in a facility does not mean that they are now sub-human people who can have others dictate their movements.

We have had seniors restricted in their facilities now for two years of covid. In some of these places, people's average stay is 18 months, pre-covid. Not because they get better and move out, but because they die. They have spent the last years of their lives locked in, and died relatively alone, in order to protect them from dying from covid.

I understand. It might seem unkind and cruel if you didn't recognise the public health reasoning behind it.

These facilities exist for a reason: families are unable to care for the person at home. Not all residents are elderly. Most of their needs are complex. To introduce covid into the mix is additionally cruel, and it would be a horrific way for any of these people to die. Allowing free visitation without strict protocols - eg. masks, LFT right beforehand visit in front office and shown to staff - would be brutal for this extremely vulnerable population.

Again, I'm unsure what your solution is, but you can't send people like this back into their home environment - their complex needs won't be met there. Remaining in the hospital system is obviously off the table too.

Thehundredthnamechange · 06/04/2022 04:36

We don't stay inside for fear of catching it. We treat it as any other cold or flu. Think about flu. Pre-covid, if a colleague was absent at work, I might ask "Where's Jess?" If my boss said, "She won't be in today, she's got flu." I'd think, "Oh, poor Jess." And then I'd get on with my day without giving it another thought. I wouldn't panic. I wouldn't assume I'd caught it. I wouldn't rush for testing. I wouldn't ask to go home. I'd just get on with my day. That's what it will be like for COVID soon.

Thehundredthnamechange · 06/04/2022 04:38

This is assuming I wasn't in an "at risk' group for flu, which I'm not.

Cheesechips · 06/04/2022 04:45

Airlines don't usually cancel a 100 flights because staff have a cold.

I expect the airlines have policies where you aren't allowed to come in if you have Covid even if it's mild. Have you ever had Covid OP? I had it a couple of months ago and I've had much worse colds! Perhaps I was lucky but most people I know had such mild symptoms with the recent strains, and the majority of people I know have already had it. We need to move on and live life how we used to pre 2 years ago.

Cheesechips · 06/04/2022 04:46

@NdefH81

I’m baffled that everyone is testing tbh
I won't be, unless I'm asked for some reason.
BritWifeInUSA · 06/04/2022 05:14

What does it look like? South Dakota. Never shut down. Didn’t close schools. No mask mandates. No vaccine mandates. Just living with it like they do the flu etc.

carefullycourageous · 06/04/2022 06:03

@lovescats3

I think this talk of living with it what does that mean? Certainly atm it's very difficult people seem to be re infected after having it a couple of months ago and lots of disruption..it doesn't feel like normal life in 2019
I think this is right, we are not like 2019, and government denial that COVID exists is not helping us achieve that.
hellcatspangle · 06/04/2022 06:30

@Invasionofthegutsnatchers

Teachers with no access to LFTs unless they pay for them out of their own pockets, coming to work with a temperature and flu symptoms, battling through 10-12 hours of a highly stressful day because apparently it doesn't spread in schools, only hospitals and prisons
They shouldn't be going to work with fevers and flu symptoms, any more than they did pre covid.
Eyedropeyeflop · 06/04/2022 07:17

@Cheesechips

Exactly it is the policies that are causing the disruption.

HardyBuckette · 06/04/2022 08:01

@OfstedOffred

Airlines don't usually cancel a 100 flights because staff have a cold.

People don't usually stay off work with a cold either, but it's now culturally ingrained that you can and should be off work with even mild Covid... many of the staff shortages are people choosing to isolate who have mild symptoms.

Realistically I think we're seeing a lot of different factors at play wrt covid, isolation and work. People's existing attitudes to testing is one of them, then there's access to and need for sick pay and precarity of job. There are people who are positive with covid who have no choice but to go into work even if quite unwell, and there'll be others who are well enough to work but have either been told not to due to a positive test or have decided not to because they either get or don't need sick pay. It's preference, economics, access, cultural attitudes, lots of things.
Kreuzberg · 06/04/2022 09:00

Doubt that south dakota is like blackburn or oldham in terms of population density so a very different scenario ?
The death rate is more than 350 a day (368). 20,398 in hospital with it. More than deaths of cancer per day. So no it's not really gone away.
I worked in a covid clinc. Most of my patients were pretty ill, with symptoms lingering for weeks.

TheKeatingFive · 06/04/2022 09:08

The death rate is more than 350 a day (368). 20,398 in hospital with it. More than deaths of cancer per day.

I don't think that's true, cancer deaths are higher than that.

HoldingTheDoor · 06/04/2022 09:17

I worked in a covid clinc. Most of my patients were pretty ill, with symptoms lingering for weeks.

Well yes, they would be. That's why they're attending/there, surely? Just as staff in a renal clinic won't see many people with perfectly healthy kidneys.

MajorCarolDanvers · 06/04/2022 09:26

government denial that COVID exists

I'm not aware of the government denying that Covid exists

Kreuzberg · 06/04/2022 09:35

@HoldingTheDoor fact is they were healthy, didn't anticipate being so ill. Worked in ICU, plenty there too.