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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate colleagues who drone on about pointless drivel

131 replies

Atnaforange · 04/04/2022 12:53

It could be the fact that I'm 8 weeks pregnant but recently my colleague is giving me rage.
We each work from home but do different roles, I rely on him giving me information to do my job.
Whenever I send him an email query about work he insists on calling me because "it's quicker" but then he just proceeds to shite on about a million things completely unrelated to the question I asked and tries to get into personal conversation about my weekend etc. I'm absolutely swamped in work, have a toddler and am so ill with morning sickness I do not have time for small talk. Like today I sent him an IM

Me: "Hi Dave
Just wondering if you have those numbers from corporate yet as I need them to move this project forward."

Him: "Best to call you. It's quicker"

Then he calls me and goes into a big long story about why he doesn't have the numbers and the big row he had with another colleague, then started going on about his weekend and his various illnesses then asked me multiple times what I did over the weekend (I kept saying "nothing" and changing the subject back to work) I barely said 5 words on the call thinking if I was silent he would get to the point quicker but he droned on for 6 minutes...... like wtf how is that "quicker"??

AIBU to think this is the way it should have gone via IM.

Me: "Hi Dave
Just wondering if you have those numbers from corporate yet as I need them to move this project forward."
Him "No I don't have the numbers yet ill keep you posted"

The end.

For context this guy is in his 50s.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 04/04/2022 12:55

Don't answer the call. Job done. In your IMs state 'please message me'.

TriTrey · 04/04/2022 12:57

If it was just now and then that he did this, I'd suck it up, but of he does this regularly, gawd I'd have the rage too! No advice, just handing you wine.

....or, repeat I'm absolutely swamped in work, have a toddler and am so ill with morning sickness I do not have time for small talk. before every chat!

Original poster
Atnaforange · 04/04/2022 12:57

@Sparklingbrook I have done this previously but he has just called me repeatedly until I answer and then says that because he's "old" he prefers to talk on the phone. I hate coming across as rude but I think I do need to be more assertive.

OP posts:
Antarcticant · 04/04/2022 12:58

YANBU. If he calls you, could you position at the outset that you 'only have five minutes'?

Sparklingbrook · 04/04/2022 13:00

[quote Atnaforange]@Sparklingbrook I have done this previously but he has just called me repeatedly until I answer and then says that because he's "old" he prefers to talk on the phone. I hate coming across as rude but I think I do need to be more assertive.[/quote]
Yes, I think you'll have to say something like you're not 'old' and you want a message. Although why he thinks 50 is old I'm not sure-he's just using it as an excuse for needing to call and chat. Annoying.

Original poster
Atnaforange · 04/04/2022 13:00

@TriTrey to be fair he doesn't know I'm pregnant yet as I'm waiting until 12 weeks to tell work but it is like this constantly.... I think I just have less tolerance at the moment as I'm hormonal sick and tired. Which I suppose isn't his fault.

OP posts:
Original poster
Atnaforange · 04/04/2022 13:02

@Antarcticant that's a good idea.... even 5 minutes is annoying when it could be answered via IM but at least there's an end point.
@Sparklingbrook I just think he's kind of lonely maybe doesn't have many people to talk to and I stupidly was polite the first few times so now he thinks we are mates

OP posts:
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 04/04/2022 13:03

[quote Atnaforange]@Sparklingbrook I have done this previously but he has just called me repeatedly until I answer and then says that because he's "old" he prefers to talk on the phone. I hate coming across as rude but I think I do need to be more assertive.[/quote]
This...

Sorry Dave I have 2 minutes for this call.

I've got to run, as I've got other tasks on... If he continually did this? I'd just cut him off...

But actually... Although you obvs don't value his chatty calls... It IS only a few mins... I used to have a colleague who would chat on (once for almost an hour) about which of her children had bought nice holiday gifts fir which friends.... (didn't know the kids or friends...)or careGrin.. And then would segue into her myriad illnesses.

RishiRich · 04/04/2022 13:03

'Sorry Quentin, I don't have time for a call at the moment. Do you have the numbers?'

Sparklingbrook · 04/04/2022 13:04

I think you might be right @Atnaforange. Hopefully you can get the message over that you don't want to chat without offending him. But don't worry too much if you do.
At least you aren't in the office together with him at the next desk!

AllOfUsAreDead · 04/04/2022 13:05

Oh god yes used to have one of those at work, so glad he left. A simple yes/no answer would spread into 30-45 mins of monologue on how brilliant he is. I stopped answering the random calls too as he'd call without asking if I was free which I find quite rude, as it was often while I was in the middle of another call which he can tell!

Alliswells · 04/04/2022 13:05

That is THEE single best thing about working from home, not having to endure mundane small talk

Invisimamma · 04/04/2022 13:08

Is he trying to avoid putting it in writing that he doesn't have the numbers?

I hate phone calls would much rather email or message.

Original poster
Atnaforange · 04/04/2022 13:10

@Invisimamma no I don't think so. He's very good at his job and if he doesn't have the numbers it wouldn't be his fault. I just need to know if they are available or not. I think he is more just looking for an excuse to chat because he's lonely or something

OP posts:
TigerLilyTail · 04/04/2022 13:13

Of course he can message you the answer. He just wants to chat because he's bored/lonely.

Don't answer his calls, just keep being polite but firm.

Me: "Hi Dave
Just wondering if you have those numbers from corporate yet as I need them to move this project forward."

Him: "Best to call you. It's quicker"

Me: "Sorry, i don't have time to talk at the moment. Please send them to me by 1pm".

BigSandyBalls2015 · 04/04/2022 13:16

I've got a colleague exactly the same, drives me mad. She was on the phone for an hour last week ..... about 3 minutes of that related to our work .... the rest was just talking at me about her life. No interest in mine. I'm avoiding her calls in future.

Original poster
Atnaforange · 04/04/2022 13:17

@TigerLilyTail yes!! This is exactly what I need to do. I hate being assertive but I cannot deal with these phone calls anymore

OP posts:
Original poster
Atnaforange · 04/04/2022 13:18

@BigSandyBalls2015 you have my sympathies it's so annoying especially with you're busy and could be cracking on about other things rather than them droning on about their IBS

OP posts:
CaptainThe95thRifles · 04/04/2022 13:20

People who think calling is faster than just responding to a fucking email / IM drive me absolutely batshit. It's not faster, it's obnoxious.

ilovesooty · 04/04/2022 13:24

Just tell him you need updates in writing not via phone calls. And repeat.

Notjustanymum · 04/04/2022 13:25

Reply with an IM “I can’t take a call right now, please send the figures by IM or eMail when you are able. Thanks”
No apology or explanation, just a professional request. And repeat until he gets the message.

Juniper68 · 04/04/2022 13:29

Does he live alone? Probably lonely. At least he actually asks about you. A lot just talk about themselves.

He needs a friend.

thepeopleversuswork · 04/04/2022 13:29

I have a colleague like this and it drives me nuts. Will call about the most trivial things that could have been done in two words in an email or IM. It's got to the point where I have started front-running excuses not to have to talk to him in my communication and he still does it.

Eg me: "Have you sent that email to x? I'm just about to jump on an hour-long call -- can you let me know if its been done?"
He will then call even though he can see my line is busy. I'll message back saying: "Sorry, on a call, can you IM me?"

An hour later he will call back, catch me unawares and say: "Sorry, thought it was easier to chat. I sent that email but then I thought bla and bla and bla".

No its not easier to chat -- send a fucking message. I'm not your therapist. If you crave human company find it elsewhere but I don't have time to spend ten minutes discussing something which you could have typed in ten seconds.

Original poster
Atnaforange · 04/04/2022 13:31

@Juniper68 yeah i think you are right he does need a friend but that's not me. I have no interest in being his friend. He's (unhappily) married.

OP posts:
Original poster
Atnaforange · 04/04/2022 13:32

@thepeopleversuswork 100% agree!

OP posts: