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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was totally inappropriate parenting?

490 replies

eggstremereaction · 03/04/2022 15:55

Couldn't resist the username opportunity whilst name changing but genuinely upset about what happened

2 year old had a kinder egg as a treat, had spent hours going on about it, was very excited, literally shaking and stamping his feet when the lady in the shop passed it to him at the tills (yes over reaction but he is little) anyway I don't let him open until we get gone and he's very good doesn't try and open it the car, keeps saying "I excited" and giggling, was very cute and dh and me were both laughing finding it cute

Got home, I went and got a bowl to put it in, gave it to toddler, he was happy and took it into the lounge and broke it up in the bowl. Came running in with the toy asking me to open it which I did but doing so left dog unattended around egg which he'd left on the sofa so he went running back in to eat it and it was gone and he was hysterical, so upset. I thought it was fair enough, he's two! He was excited. Yes it's only a chocolate egg but he's tiny and isn't going to react like an adult would. Dh said it was ridiculous, huge overeaction, started saying his excitement in the first place was too intense for chocolate, unhealthy reaction blah blah blah. I went to go back in the car and get him another one, shops only 5 mins and it was like 60p it doesn't matter and it'll make him happy and dh said if I dare go get him an egg I am completely undermining his parenting. So toddler just kept crying. He was saying he was sad and wanted an egg, in the end I said to dh I'm just going to get one and I jumped in the car.

Got back and could hear screaming from the driveway. Toddler was in his room (behind closed stair gate) dh saying you can come out when you stop crying. Pathetic it's an egg. I went and got toddler and took him downstairs and gave him his egg and said it is completely ok to be upset, he's not in any trouble and to just be very careful to not leave food around the dog so this doesn't happen again as I won't always be able to go get a replacement. Dh really annoyed that I undermined him and said I'm too soft and he's going to be a spoilt entitled boy. He just wanted a bloody kinder egg.

Was I unreasonable or was this really inappropriate on his part?

OP posts:
Sunnytwobridges · 03/04/2022 17:55

@Orangutanteddy

You're all unreasonable. It was silly of you to let the child leave the chocolate where the dog could get it. DH could have been more sympathetic to the child but I don't understand why you ran off to get another one. A load of fuss over a child eating a kinder egg.
I agree.

Also DH didn’t give a thought about the dog possibly getting ill or dying after eating the chocolate. He sounds like a heartless prick.

BonesJones · 03/04/2022 17:55

Your DH was being a cunt! Imagine if he's ordered a takeaway and was just about to tuck in and the dog ate it, and he had no way to get another. I bet he'd feel cross and disappointed and swear a bit. Well a toddler crying is just that isn't it! He's cross and disappointed and crying is a completely normal toddler way of expressing those feelings. Hope you show the cunt this thread and he feels bad for effectively stabbing your toddler with the same sword twice. I hope he enjoyed his 2nd egg!

Chloemol · 03/04/2022 17:56

Your dh is a twat and nasty with it

safefacespace · 03/04/2022 17:58

train your dog better?

MarshmallowSwede · 03/04/2022 17:58

The poor little thing. He’s only 2 and of course he’s upset. It’s perfectly normal for a 2 yr old to be excited about chocolate.

Goodness.. children are new to this world. The small things make them happy. Your husband needs to ease up. There’s no reason to be so hard on a 2 year old. Your son haven’t even been on this earth very long so your husband trying to stifle his joy already makes me sad.

You’re not being unreasonable OP. Your son acted as any 2 yr old would.

Quartz2208 · 03/04/2022 17:59

@eggstremereaction

A kinder egg would not be enough chocolate to poison most dogs unless perhaps an absolutely tiny one (he's not) or they already had a lot of cocoa built up in their system.

But thanks for reassurance that I'm not the one in the wrong - I will stand by it. I can be a bit soft with him but he's a kid and they need a bit of softness sometimes while they are so tiny and learning how the world works.

It’s not that you are too soft OP you need to reframe this

The issue is your DH is way to hard and unrealistic about a 2 year old ability and emotional regulation. He weaponised crying and told him he was being pathetic that is actually quite damaging parenting

Saying I’m sorry you can have another egg, comforting him and distracting him is the flip side of your approach that would render you too soft

username9871028 · 03/04/2022 18:00

@Whiskeypowers £1?! They’re £1.69 by me Shock

Dancer47 · 03/04/2022 18:02

I can see your husband's thinking tbh.

IvorCutler · 03/04/2022 18:02

I would do the same as you but my dh would act like your husband 🙄

gettingolderandgrumpy · 03/04/2022 18:02

@safefacespace

train your dog better?
Or train the husband not to a twat !
AlternativePerspective · 03/04/2022 18:04

Jesus, this thread is pure mn bingo.

“Early exposure to chocolate,” “what about the dog,” “irresponsible for leaving the child anywhere near a dog” “won’t someone think of the environment.”

When a thread is this long I always skip to the end first to see in what ways it’s kicked off and what nuggets it has to offer.

Trinacham · 03/04/2022 18:05

@SnackSizeRaisin

There's hardly any actual chocolate in a kinder egg so don't worry about the dog
This is what I was thinking! Maybe I've had more experience with dogs than the majority but I'm surprised so many think a kinder egg would be dangerous. Maybe for a Chihuahua.. which I doubt is the breed. It takes a larger amount for the average dog to be poorly.
SadMum12345 · 03/04/2022 18:06

You absolutely did the right thing!

I would be very upset about DH's reaction, it's gonna be hard work to help him 'get it'.

Kennykenkencat · 03/04/2022 18:07

@Quartz2208

Yes if your dog ate it he needs looking at

And you DH is an arse treating a 2 year old like that is awful - he is 2

My ddog was let out into the garden on Easter morning like she was every morning before breakfast.

I had completely forgot that I had left all the Easter Hunt eggs around the garden
Dc after breakfast took their baskets to go and hunt for eggs the Easter Bunny had scattered around in the garden only for them to find a bunch of chewed up coloured foil wrappings and a very pleased dog.

I think whilst you might need to be careful what chocolate dogs do have, I think a lot comes down to the size and weight of the dog and the quality of the chocolate.
I would be more worried about something that had 40% cocoa than a kinder chocolate egg.

eggstremereaction the only pathetic one In this scenario is your Dh who is trying to control a 2 year old.
He will end up doing more harm than good if he keeps this attitude up.

I would “accidentally” give the dog his dinner and tell him he can’t have anything else as he has to set an example of how not to be soft and entitled

arethereanyleftatall · 03/04/2022 18:07

Yes you undermined him. As you were right to. As he was wrong, nasty and a bully.

Otherwise where does 'you can't undermine me' end?

If he slaps your child and you disagree? Undermining?

SevenWaystoLeave · 03/04/2022 18:08

@safefacespace

train your dog better?
What's needed here is supervision, not training. It's pretty breathtakingly irresponsible of OP to leave an overexcited toddler with a bowl full of chocolate in a room unsupervised with a dog. Toddlers and dogs shouldn't be left alone together in any case, then you throw food in the mix, and food which is potentially lethal to dogs to boot, of course it's not going to end well.
curlymom · 03/04/2022 18:10

I kind of see both sides. I think it would be better to wait until the little one calmed down then go out later rather than teach him to scream until he gets what he wants. And the Dh can respectfully ask you to wait until things calm down. The big man act is old fashioned and boring.

Look on the packet for weight of chocolate and ask the vet if that amount is sofa for dogs. A small quantity can be lethal

pinkstripeycat · 03/04/2022 18:13

My dog ate a whole chocolate cake once. He was fine, no I’ll effects at all. A dog won’t drop dead after one tiny kinder egg. THAT is an over reaction

OP, I’d also have replaced the egg for baby and your husband’s reaction is way OTT for a baby

EthelTheAardvark · 03/04/2022 18:14

@MySausageRollsDownTheHill

I’d be annoyed to, couldn’t you have waiting until dc had calmed down then given him the egg a while later
Why? What would that achieve? He'd just be disappointed that it had been taken away from him, and he'd get excited all over again when he was given it later.
HeArInGhandsgirl11 · 03/04/2022 18:17

He's being the dick, I would have done the same as you.

I'm more concerned that I didn't know chocolate could kills dogs🙈

Hertsgirl10 · 03/04/2022 18:17

You’re both really OTT with this kid tbh.

There’s no middle ground at all, the kid is 2 but already knows you’re gonna run around doing what he wants, 2 is old enough to understand the situation and that he can’t just scream for chocolate.
Your partner is not coming off great here at all, doesn’t seem to get how to deal with kids but then doesn’t look like you do either in this situation, but I agree with him with the little ones reaction was a bit much .. like it was so hyped up to the point it was like Xmas for him, maybe that’s why he reacted so badly the situation when it all went wrong.

SevenWaystoLeave · 03/04/2022 18:17

My dog ate a whole chocolate cake once. He was fine, no I’ll effects at all. A dog won’t drop dead after one tiny kinder egg. THAT is an over reaction

A dog's tolerance to chocolate depends on a whole host of factors that you can't necessarily know/predict. Sometimes, dogs can eat a lot and be fine. Sometimes they are not fine at all. Sometimes even a small amount can have an adverse affect. It isn't a risk you should take, even if it's been "fine" before it might not be this time.

Whatthechicken · 03/04/2022 18:18

I’d be gutted if my dog ate something I was looking forward too!!

I have a Beagle - a notoriously greedy breed…my kids are now 6&7, but it was a bit of a nightmare when they were little, because my dog was always waiting to take advantage. Baby gates and eating at table or doors closed, we had to be strict to keep everyone safe. My dog is a gorgeous, kind sole - but could (accidentally) take a finger, if it meant getting more food. And for that reason, we never give her human food either. I remember watching an episode of ‘it’s me or the dog’. And a family were feeding a dog from the table. Dog eventually mugged the little girl for a bag of crisps, because it thought it was fair game - dog had to be pts. Very sad situation all round.

My kids have learnt to be careful with food now…but we did (and still do) have to be vigilant around food.

EthelTheAardvark · 03/04/2022 18:18

It's pretty breathtakingly irresponsible of OP to leave an overexcited toddler with a bowl full of chocolate in a room unsupervised with a dog

It might be, but that is not what OP did.

If you think a broken-up Kinder egg will leave you with a bowl-full of chocolate, don't ever buy one - you will be very, very disappointed.

Blossomtoes · 03/04/2022 18:19

@safefacespace

train your dog better?
😂 The words of someone who knows nothing about dogs, a bit like OP’s bloke who clearly knows nothing about two year olds.
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