To think this was totally inappropriate parenting?

[eggstremereaction]

Couldn't resist the username opportunity whilst name changing but genuinely upset about what happened

2 year old had a kinder egg as a treat, had spent hours going on about it, was very excited, literally shaking and stamping his feet when the lady in the shop passed it to him at the tills (yes over reaction but he is little) anyway I don't let him open until we get gone and he's very good doesn't try and open it the car, keeps saying "I excited" and giggling, was very cute and dh and me were both laughing finding it cute

Got home, I went and got a bowl to put it in, gave it to toddler, he was happy and took it into the lounge and broke it up in the bowl. Came running in with the toy asking me to open it which I did but doing so left dog unattended around egg which he'd left on the sofa so he went running back in to eat it and it was gone and he was hysterical, so upset. I thought it was fair enough, he's two! He was excited. Yes it's only a chocolate egg but he's tiny and isn't going to react like an adult would. Dh said it was ridiculous, huge overeaction, started saying his excitement in the first place was too intense for chocolate, unhealthy reaction blah blah blah. I went to go back in the car and get him another one, shops only 5 mins and it was like 60p it doesn't matter and it'll make him happy and dh said if I dare go get him an egg I am completely undermining his parenting. So toddler just kept crying. He was saying he was sad and wanted an egg, in the end I said to dh I'm just going to get one and I jumped in the car.

Got back and could hear screaming from the driveway. Toddler was in his room (behind closed stair gate) dh saying you can come out when you stop crying. Pathetic it's an egg. I went and got toddler and took him downstairs and gave him his egg and said it is completely ok to be upset, he's not in any trouble and to just be very careful to not leave food around the dog so this doesn't happen again as I won't always be able to go get a replacement. Dh really annoyed that I undermined him and said I'm too soft and he's going to be a spoilt entitled boy. He just wanted a bloody kinder egg.

Was I unreasonable or was this really inappropriate on his part?

It is cocoa content that matters regarding the dog, hardly any in a kinder egg, s/he'll be fine.
Your 'D' h sounds like my dad. We no longer speak for a reason. Doesn't sound as if he understands children or childhood and I'd be livid wit him in your shoes. Your poor DS :(

@VelvetChairGirl

1: 2 years old is too young for a kinder toy, they are a choking hazard at that age.

2: the dog could be sick.

3: did you really drive to buy a 60p egg thats very environmentally unfriendly, if it only takes 5mins in car why not walk.

4: the man is a tosser and his behaviour towards a child is stupid, he's acting like the child is an adult, not good.

Ffs please someone tell my how to get my blasted Sky router to block Mumsnet!! I can’t take much more.

She didn’t drive because toddler was very upset and if she’d walked he’d have been in his room screaming for over thirty minutes!

Didn’t walk!

@eggstremereaction. You DS sounds eggstremely adorable!!

It's lovely when they're young enough to get that excited about small things, it's a shame we can't hold onto that for much longer!

Ignore the bit about 'underage exposure to chocolate' 😂😂😂. It's a kinder egg, not slurping from the chocolate fountain!! & given the eggscitement level, clearly a treat! Ignore the bullshit about that being terrible too - chocolate occasionally as a treat is a healthy attitude to it.

As you have already said, a kinder egg for a medium/large dog isn't going to do any harm! It's not a king size bar! FFS.

As for your H, his initial reaction to your DS was terrible. It might 'just be a bit of chocolate' to him & not worth a fuss, but his complete inability to see this through his DS's eyes, is horrible. It's more akin to the dog pooping on the drivers seat of his much longed for brand new 'car of choice'. How would he react if you said 'you can move the poi, but you can't have the seat cleaned' then punished him for being upset about it?? & that's with a lot more years under his belt.

Then 'undermining his parenting'. What parenting exactly was he referring to? Telling a 2 year old to stop being pathetic/crying isn't parenting.

But to put him in his room, behind s gate, while crying & telling him he can't come out until he stops crying is just fucking nasty.

I'd struggle to get past that kind of behaviour. WTF else does he do when you're not there to oversee his 'parenting'??

Replacing a 2year olds kinder egg isn't going to produce a spoilt child FFS.

I'd have taken DS with me to go & get another egg, chatting on the way & reminding him not to leave his treats where the dog can get them, especially chocolate as it will hurt the dogs tummy. But in a reminding way, not telling off!

Have a serious think about how your DH normally behaves with DS & if he's normally good, ask him why he was so off the mark today (but leave it a couple of days). If he's often a shit head you need to deal with it, but I'm not sure how as leaving and him having DS on his own more often isn't a great option either.

You were 100% right though, DH's 'parenting' was inappropriate! As was his treatment of you!!

There’s more comments concerned about the dog then actually answering the question lol.

But DH is sooo unreasonable like is that a joke. He went the whole car journey being patient and excited to get home and eat the chocolate. Yet he gets home and the dog eats it🙃 I’d be upset too let alone a 2 year old lol. I think DH reacted in a really strange way tbh. Bizzare

@VelvetChairGirl

I can’t stop laughing at 0-3 sad onion

@eggstremereaction

Your DH needs to read a parenting book. Phillippa Perry’s ‘The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read’ is so good on empathising with little children, it staved off many a tantrum with my youngest.

What a bastard your DH is. It really isn’t your DS’s fault that the dog ate his egg. More supervision was needed both of child and dog. Of course DS should get a second egg. Good for you standing up to this controlling man!

If your husband regularly treats your very small child like that, you probably need to start thinking how you're going to safeguard your son from his father's abuse.

Exactly @SnackSizeRaisin. I feel the same when people talk about withholding affection when kids are crying. Imagine if that was you! People are so weird about kids.

@WTF475878237NC
“ exposure to chocolate “

That’s a real MN gem

Well your parenting decision was to replace the egg, so your Dh tried to 'undermine' your parenting. If tow people disagree on a parenting issue either you have to find a compromise or someone is going to be 'undermined' (in inverted commas because it is so silly to call this episode undermining - your Dh is a knob).
He clearly has no idea about child development, this will not make your child spoilt and obnoxious, he's two - he was very excited about his treat and the dog ate it. I can't imagine any normal person not wanting to replace the egg for him when it was easy to do so. What kind of a mean control freak wants to deliberately stand and watch a child being upset over something that was not the child's fault(he's far to little to anticipate dog might eat the egg). Next time anything of your DH's get broken, or the dog eats his phone or something remind him that he expects a two year old not to be upset and so he shouldn't be - and the item shouldn't be replaced because your DH will turn into a great big spoilt grown up.
If 'once its gone its gone is the rule - then its the rule for everyone in the house. Or he could rethink and try to be a nicer person who doesn't expect 2 yr olds to behave way beyond their years.

You don't eat the toy.
You might if you're two, though the OP probably knows if her child is past the 'putting everything in mouth' stage.

@girlmom21

If someone bought you a coffee and then accidentally knocked it off the table, you'd get a replacement. Why should a 2yo just have to suck it up?

But if someone bought you a Starbucks and you took it home then knocked it over half an hour later, would you go back out and buy another?

I don't think that's comparable because you are talking about an adult. An adult can rationalise, a young child cannot.

A small child has very little control over their life, they are dependent on the grown ups around them to keep them safe - physically and emotionally. A 2yo cannot say, oh damn the dog ate my kinder egg, I am deeply disappointed but I'll pick one up later. All they know is in that moment the thing that is theirs and only theirs, that represents reward, has been ripped away.

I’m just wondering where in the UK you live for kinder eggs to be 60p 😂c

Have to say I am shocked! The child is a toddler! This egg to him is the most exciting thing of the day and something he’s been looking forward to. He’s a baby! How can someone be so miserable to dampen a child’s excitement! It would be like the him having saved up and bought a lively new shirt that he wanted for ages and hadn’t wait to wear and the dog ripping it up and you telling him to shut up and get over it.

*Ffs please someone tell my how to get my blasted Sky router to block Mumsnet!! I can’t take much more.

She didn’t drive because toddler was very upset and if she’d walked he’d have been in his room screaming for over thirty minutes!*

take the toddler too for a nice walk. maybe buy something else for the walk back. would you leave a toddler with that man?

@sweetbellyhigh how is it not comparable? I gave the exact same scenario as you aside from the coffee being taken home - which was the case here with the chocolate...

Just to add to this bonkers thread there has been a recall on kinder eggs due to salmonella outbreak. I didn't read the article just saw the headline. So to add to peoples worry that the dog is going to keel over with chocolate poisoning also look out for sign of salmonella in both dog and child.

Your DH needs to work on his patience, what a knob. Your poor DS, he won’t have understood that the dog might pinch his chocolate, you did the right thing. I can’t believe the dementors on here who don’t think he should have a ring treat/ that you are single handedly destroying the planet etc. 🙄

Just to add to the dog+chocolate drama, my cocker spaniel once stole and ate an entire chocolate orange - including the foil, cardboard and plastic dome thing and was absolutely fine. In fact the selfish floppy eared bastard went on to live a further 9 years post chocolategate.

I’m not advocating that we all feed our dogs chocolate oranges, but some of you are such sad onions, honestly.

Your husbands reaction makes me so sad. Your son is so little. I don't know how s add stone could treat a toddler like that let alone their own.

@username9871028

I’m just wondering where in the UK you live for kinder eggs to be 60p 😂c

As am I In our corner shop they’re a quid

I don't think that's comparable because you are talking about an adult. An adult can rationalise, a young child cannot.

This. I always find it baffling when people (e.g. the OP's dh) don't understand that the reason a 2 year-old doesn't just behave how you want them to is not because they are naughty or that they haven't been parented properly. It's that they are literally developmentally incapable of having the understanding and impulse control of an older child. 2 is practically a baby fgs.

Your husband is trying to get one over on a 2 yr old. Give him a “saddo” medal.

@Marynotsocontrary

You don't eat the toy. You might if you're two, though the OP probably knows if her child is past the 'putting everything in mouth' stage.

mines 11 and he's still not past it

I think you need to have a word with your dh he expects a toddler to have the same emotional reaction as a adult , parenting is going to one rocky road .Course he’s going to be upset he was all excited and it’s gone . What did he expect from your barely out of nappies toddler to say ‘oh dear never mind’ ?. Tbh I’d be upset if I was looking forward to a treat and the dog ate it I’d probably cry .