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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this was totally inappropriate parenting?

490 replies

eggstremereaction · 03/04/2022 15:55

Couldn't resist the username opportunity whilst name changing but genuinely upset about what happened

2 year old had a kinder egg as a treat, had spent hours going on about it, was very excited, literally shaking and stamping his feet when the lady in the shop passed it to him at the tills (yes over reaction but he is little) anyway I don't let him open until we get gone and he's very good doesn't try and open it the car, keeps saying "I excited" and giggling, was very cute and dh and me were both laughing finding it cute

Got home, I went and got a bowl to put it in, gave it to toddler, he was happy and took it into the lounge and broke it up in the bowl. Came running in with the toy asking me to open it which I did but doing so left dog unattended around egg which he'd left on the sofa so he went running back in to eat it and it was gone and he was hysterical, so upset. I thought it was fair enough, he's two! He was excited. Yes it's only a chocolate egg but he's tiny and isn't going to react like an adult would. Dh said it was ridiculous, huge overeaction, started saying his excitement in the first place was too intense for chocolate, unhealthy reaction blah blah blah. I went to go back in the car and get him another one, shops only 5 mins and it was like 60p it doesn't matter and it'll make him happy and dh said if I dare go get him an egg I am completely undermining his parenting. So toddler just kept crying. He was saying he was sad and wanted an egg, in the end I said to dh I'm just going to get one and I jumped in the car.

Got back and could hear screaming from the driveway. Toddler was in his room (behind closed stair gate) dh saying you can come out when you stop crying. Pathetic it's an egg. I went and got toddler and took him downstairs and gave him his egg and said it is completely ok to be upset, he's not in any trouble and to just be very careful to not leave food around the dog so this doesn't happen again as I won't always be able to go get a replacement. Dh really annoyed that I undermined him and said I'm too soft and he's going to be a spoilt entitled boy. He just wanted a bloody kinder egg.

Was I unreasonable or was this really inappropriate on his part?

OP posts:
Whatthechicken · 03/04/2022 18:19

*soul, she’s is definitely a dog!

Wetblanket78 · 03/04/2022 18:19

I would be more concerned about the dog. You need to get your dog to a vet chocolate can make them really poorly. As for the kinder egg I wouldn't have given in to him or get him another. He will learn by behaving like that he will get his own way. I would have told him he'll have plenty of chocolate over Easter. Best to nip in the bud while there a toddler.

HeArInGhandsgirl11 · 03/04/2022 18:19

@pinkstripeycat

My dog ate a whole chocolate cake once. He was fine, no I’ll effects at all. A dog won’t drop dead after one tiny kinder egg. THAT is an over reaction

OP, I’d also have replaced the egg for baby and your husband’s reaction is way OTT for a baby

Phew, I was starting to panic about my dog stealing the kids chocolate
SevenWaystoLeave · 03/04/2022 18:20

@EthelTheAardvark

It's pretty breathtakingly irresponsible of OP to leave an overexcited toddler with a bowl full of chocolate in a room unsupervised with a dog

It might be, but that is not what OP did.

If you think a broken-up Kinder egg will leave you with a bowl-full of chocolate, don't ever buy one - you will be very, very disappointed.

Now you're just being nitpicky. The kid had chocolate in a bowl, my point doesn't hinge on whether the bowl was technically full or not.
Whiskeypowers · 03/04/2022 18:21

[quote username9871028]@Whiskeypowers £1?! They’re £1.69 by me Shock[/quote]
Bloody hell I though I was being fleeced
They are the bane of my food or quick dash to the corner shopping life.

Just utter shite

GrandRapids · 03/04/2022 18:21

He was undermining YOUR parenting.

As for people saying, well that'll teach him to leave his chocolate lying around Hmm he's 2 not 12!!!

sweetbellyhigh · 03/04/2022 18:22

[quote girlmom21]@sweetbellyhigh how is it not comparable? I gave the exact same scenario as you aside from the coffee being taken home - which was the case here with the chocolate... [/quote]
I explained why, I'm sorry of you were not able to understand it, not sure how to dumb it down any further.

And no, an adult and a 2yo does not maketh the "exact same scenario"

MrsKeats · 03/04/2022 18:23

Your dh is horrible.
No need to add extra drama if a child is upset.

Bignanny30 · 03/04/2022 18:23

I’m disgusted by the amount of people who seem concerned about the dog, when this poor child was traumatised by your selfish husband.

SevenWaystoLeave · 03/04/2022 18:23

Phew, I was starting to panic about my dog stealing the kids chocolate

You don't need to panic but nor should you be complacent - I've worked in a vets and the people here sharing stories about their dogs eating loads of chocolate and being fine are not realising they got very lucky and it could very easily gone the other way. If your dog is regularly stealing chocolate from your kids, your job as a parent and a dog owner is to stop this happening.

And quite apart from the risk of poisoning the dog, mixing kids, dogs and high value food is a good recipe for a dog bite.

EthelTheAardvark · 03/04/2022 18:23

Shutting a distressed child in his room and telling him he can't come out till he stops crying is utterly ridiculous. At that age communication is very limited, even more so if the child is upset, so crying is really the only way they can communicate that they are distressed is by crying. Telling them they will be ignored unless they pretend not to be distressed doesn't teach them "I must show strength and self-control", it teaches them that their parents don't care.

PersephonePomegranate · 03/04/2022 18:24

Bloody hell, your boy is only two. I can well imagine both the excitement and heartbreak were very real to him. Your husband is horrible.

CrossyRoad · 03/04/2022 18:25

DH sounds like a nasty and unreasonable dick. Are you under-miming DH or is he under-miming you?

Sounds like DH created a lot of pointless drama over an egg. It was probably down to you both to ensure the dog didn’t get the chocolate, so it’s on you as a pair to watch your child and dog, rather than your toddlers over reaction. I would absolutely have got him another egg.

Sure your naughty dog will be okay, our hound was a pain in the arse for eating things she shouldn’t but she was always fine. Hope your little one is too, ‘I excited’ just made me melt, please give him a big cuddle for a random Mum on MN Grin

If it was me I’d be chatting to DH later about appropriate behaviour towards his toddler son.

Wouldntitbenicetobeinyourshoes · 03/04/2022 18:25

@HeArInGhandsgirl11 how much did your dog eat?
For milk chocolate, eating more than half an ounce per pound of body weight may put your dog at risk for chocolate poisoning. For dark or semi-sweet chocolate, eating more than 0.13 ounces per pound of body weight may cause chocolate poisoning in dogs
www.whitecrossvets.co.uk/advice/my-dog-has-eaten-chocolate/

I’ve just seen kinder have been recalled btw.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4520922-Kinder-Surprise-Recall

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 03/04/2022 18:25

@SevenWaystoLeave

My dog ate a whole chocolate cake once. He was fine, no I’ll effects at all. A dog won’t drop dead after one tiny kinder egg. THAT is an over reaction

A dog's tolerance to chocolate depends on a whole host of factors that you can't necessarily know/predict. Sometimes, dogs can eat a lot and be fine. Sometimes they are not fine at all. Sometimes even a small amount can have an adverse affect. It isn't a risk you should take, even if it's been "fine" before it might not be this time.

Are you thinking of raisins/grapes? With chocolate there's a straightforward formula you can use to work out how much is dangerous for different weights.

Anyway, yes, your H is a twat.

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 03/04/2022 18:25

Her ds wasn't 'crying to get his own way'! He was crying because he was so disappointed Hmm

HeArInGhandsgirl11 · 03/04/2022 18:27

[quote Wouldntitbenicetobeinyourshoes]@HeArInGhandsgirl11 how much did your dog eat?
For milk chocolate, eating more than half an ounce per pound of body weight may put your dog at risk for chocolate poisoning. For dark or semi-sweet chocolate, eating more than 0.13 ounces per pound of body weight may cause chocolate poisoning in dogs
www.whitecrossvets.co.uk/advice/my-dog-has-eaten-chocolate/

I’ve just seen kinder have been recalled btw.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4520922-Kinder-Surprise-Recall[/quote]
She stole a couple of chocolates buttons 🙈

PineappleRingo · 03/04/2022 18:28

I’d struggle to stay with someone that thought that was ok tbh

Moodycow78 · 03/04/2022 18:29

Your DH is a dick, as you know your DS is just too little to understand poor love. PS I always buy 2 eggs for this very reason, they always manage to do something to it!

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 03/04/2022 18:29

[quote Wouldntitbenicetobeinyourshoes]@HeArInGhandsgirl11 how much did your dog eat?
For milk chocolate, eating more than half an ounce per pound of body weight may put your dog at risk for chocolate poisoning. For dark or semi-sweet chocolate, eating more than 0.13 ounces per pound of body weight may cause chocolate poisoning in dogs
www.whitecrossvets.co.uk/advice/my-dog-has-eaten-chocolate/

I’ve just seen kinder have been recalled btw.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4520922-Kinder-Surprise-Recall[/quote]
Kinder Eggs weigh 20g. So unless the dog weighed about 1.5lb Grin he will be fine.

Bethany7 · 03/04/2022 18:31

I'm so glad you ignored your husband and did the right thing. This post really reminded me of exactly how my husband can be at times. He would also say that I was undermining him and being too soft. I don't believe I am and even if I'm wrong and I am a bit soft at times, well so be it.
Don't let your husband let you doubt yourself. God your poor little 2 year old with such great excitement and holding it carefully in the car etc. You absolutely did the right thing in quickly going back to the shop.
Glad your dog is ok too, yes not a crazy amount of chocolate in a kinder egg.

Atomiccat · 03/04/2022 18:31

Next time your dh pours himself a glass of wine/beer/water tip it down the sink and tell him to get a grip if he wants to go and get another glass.

AuntMargo · 03/04/2022 18:34

tell your husband from me he's a nob head, christ the little one is a baby !!!

Annoy · 03/04/2022 18:35

You are BOTH being unreasonable… I’d have let him have it in the car

stuntbubbles · 03/04/2022 18:35

Don’t care about the dog, can’t believe how much of the thread is about the bloody dog when the husband is this awful to a TWO YEAR OLD.

OP, my DD would have the same levels of hand-clapping excitement and joy at such a treat, and the same devastation at it being eaten. Totally normal. And FWIW I’m 40 and get excited by treats and gutted if they’re ruined. I can control the extreme reaction of it, obviously, but as Mary Oliver says, joy is not meant to be a crumb: your kid sounds happy and normal and is gaining pleasure at all the tiny pleasures of the world, like a little bit of chocolate. Don’t let your penis of a husband take that joy away.