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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this was totally inappropriate parenting?

490 replies

eggstremereaction · 03/04/2022 15:55

Couldn't resist the username opportunity whilst name changing but genuinely upset about what happened

2 year old had a kinder egg as a treat, had spent hours going on about it, was very excited, literally shaking and stamping his feet when the lady in the shop passed it to him at the tills (yes over reaction but he is little) anyway I don't let him open until we get gone and he's very good doesn't try and open it the car, keeps saying "I excited" and giggling, was very cute and dh and me were both laughing finding it cute

Got home, I went and got a bowl to put it in, gave it to toddler, he was happy and took it into the lounge and broke it up in the bowl. Came running in with the toy asking me to open it which I did but doing so left dog unattended around egg which he'd left on the sofa so he went running back in to eat it and it was gone and he was hysterical, so upset. I thought it was fair enough, he's two! He was excited. Yes it's only a chocolate egg but he's tiny and isn't going to react like an adult would. Dh said it was ridiculous, huge overeaction, started saying his excitement in the first place was too intense for chocolate, unhealthy reaction blah blah blah. I went to go back in the car and get him another one, shops only 5 mins and it was like 60p it doesn't matter and it'll make him happy and dh said if I dare go get him an egg I am completely undermining his parenting. So toddler just kept crying. He was saying he was sad and wanted an egg, in the end I said to dh I'm just going to get one and I jumped in the car.

Got back and could hear screaming from the driveway. Toddler was in his room (behind closed stair gate) dh saying you can come out when you stop crying. Pathetic it's an egg. I went and got toddler and took him downstairs and gave him his egg and said it is completely ok to be upset, he's not in any trouble and to just be very careful to not leave food around the dog so this doesn't happen again as I won't always be able to go get a replacement. Dh really annoyed that I undermined him and said I'm too soft and he's going to be a spoilt entitled boy. He just wanted a bloody kinder egg.

Was I unreasonable or was this really inappropriate on his part?

OP posts:

LesleyA · 03/04/2022 17:21

You should buy your DH an egg. They are for kids after all. Poor little one. He’s only two. It’s been a huge build up and what a good child to not just eat all the chocolate first. But reading your thread saddened me as I know I also at times have overreacted, expected my children to be adults and responsible I just lose my rag and seeing your thread made me feel guilty which isn’t a bad thing if it brings awareness of one’s own behaviour. But what a huge change for your little ones day and yours. Sorry

nldnmum02 · 03/04/2022 17:22

DH is a right twat.
Also worried about your dog as they shouldn’t have chocolate…

Londonderry34 · 03/04/2022 17:23

You've got a husband problem and your dog will be properly sick. Your husband's behaviour is bizarre. Is he unhappy? I think you are a lovely mum.

Teenylittlefella · 03/04/2022 17:23

Make dinner as usual this evening. Maybe something like chicken, potato and broccoli.

Plate DH's up, put it on the floor and let the dog eat it.

When he gets upset or angry, point out that it was just some chicken, potato and broccoli and he's being pathetic.

Maybe he will realise that it wasn't the egg, it was what it represented - anticipation, excitement, joy. It was never because the dog ate a small piece of chocolate. It's because the dog ate something that to DS, was very important. Has he no empathy at all?

sweetbellyhigh · 03/04/2022 17:23

😢

My heart sank for your wee one reading that.

And for you. You justified yourself at every step and you really don't have to.

Your child sounds so adorable and very well behaved. They'll remember this 😞

nadgersbadgers · 03/04/2022 17:24

Yo ur poor kid. I'd have done completely the same. Tell your DP to fuck off.

sweetbellyhigh · 03/04/2022 17:25

@godmum56

yabu for leaving the child with food around the dog and unsupervised, but your husband is a nasty bastard.

🙄

VelvetChairGirl · 03/04/2022 17:27

1: 2 years old is too young for a kinder toy, they are a choking hazard at that age.

2: the dog could be sick.

3: did you really drive to buy a 60p egg thats very environmentally unfriendly, if it only takes 5mins in car why not walk.

4: the man is a tosser and his behaviour towards a child is stupid, he's acting like the child is an adult, not good.

Amybelle88 · 03/04/2022 17:27

Btw - 'early exposure to chocolate' is quite possibly one of the funniest things I've ever read on here 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Jesus Christ.

Early exposure to chocolate though - is that a reportable thing??

girlmom21 · 03/04/2022 17:28

@VelvetChairGirl

1: 2 years old is too young for a kinder toy, they are a choking hazard at that age.

2: the dog could be sick.

3: did you really drive to buy a 60p egg thats very environmentally unfriendly, if it only takes 5mins in car why not walk.

4: the man is a tosser and his behaviour towards a child is stupid, he's acting like the child is an adult, not good.

You don't eat the toy.

WonderfulYou · 03/04/2022 17:28

Imagine you were out in a pub having a drink with a friend (which you very rarely do and were really looking forward to) and accidentally knocked over your drink before you had drunk any.

This analogy doesn’t work because this isn’t simply buying something to replace what you’ve knocked over - you’ve already left the establishment, gone home, left your drink unattended, someone else has knocked it over and you’re going to drive all the way back to buy another one and bring it home to drink it.

It sounds like he was more interested in the toy anyway which is why he hasn’t eaten the chocolate so it’s not like he was left with nothing.

I absolutely think it should have been replaced but not that minute.
They could have said we’ll get you another next time.

Things like this are going to happen very regularly, I’ve lost count of how many times my DD (or myself) has dropped things or burnt something and you can’t get the car out every time just to replace one small thing.

It’s sounds like a very manic household.

sweetbellyhigh · 03/04/2022 17:28

@Chouetted

I'm more concerned about your dog!

Extraordinary lack of empathy on display there, amazing

SexyLittleNosferatu · 03/04/2022 17:30

Can't believe people are still wanging on about the dog.

sweetbellyhigh · 03/04/2022 17:30

@axolotlfloof

He is 2 and DH sounds mean and controlling. I think you need to sort this out when DS isn't around. The biggest issue is DH trying to control the child's emotions.

However I wouldn't have bought a new egg as it was sadly gone. You don't have to fix things like this and he still had the toy.
It was OK for toddler to feel sad and cry and be comforted though.

Also YABU for leaving a toddler unsupervised with a dog and food (especially chocolate).

Why would you not replace the egg?

If someone bought you a coffee and then accidentally knocked it off the table, you'd get a replacement. Why should a 2yo just have to suck it up?

girlmom21 · 03/04/2022 17:32

If someone bought you a coffee and then accidentally knocked it off the table, you'd get a replacement. Why should a 2yo just have to suck it up?

But if someone bought you a Starbucks and you took it home then knocked it over half an hour later, would you go back out and buy another?

Booboobibles · 03/04/2022 17:32

The dog is absolutely fine! They’re tiny, half the chocolate is white and the milk chocolate probably has twenty percent cocoa at the most.

Shabtipup · 03/04/2022 17:33

YANBU at all. Even I would be upset if I was looking forward to some choc and the dog ate it. Might even cry if it was that time of the month lol. It's perfectly normal your son was upset.

WonderfulYou · 03/04/2022 17:34

yabu for leaving the child with food around the dog and unsupervised, but your husband is a nasty bastard.

I agree!

I’m very much a dog lover and trust my dogs more than I trust most people but the thought of leaving such a small child unattended around a dog with food genuinely makes me shudder.

I hope it’s lesson learnt OP because next time your child may not be so lucky.

Booboobibles · 03/04/2022 17:34

Ah I see you realise already!

Your DH sounds like my ex. Just ignore the idiot or you’ll feel bad in the future for letting him have any influence over your decisions.

VelvetChairGirl · 03/04/2022 17:34

You don't eat the toy.

some kids do thats why they have 0-3 sad onion on the packaging

VeganGod · 03/04/2022 17:35

Your husband is a dick and a bully. I’d have gone and got my child another egg, as would my children’s dad.

As for your dog, it’s not always as easy as saying it’s not enough to cause poisoning symptoms because it was a small amount. A dog at our rescue had eaten a similar amount of chocolate before coming to us (not a kinder egg but similar size rip off) along with the toy inside. As well as having to have the toy removed, he had signs of poisoning and needed a few days with the vet. My friends dog almost died after eating a small amount of dairy milk found on a walk and he was a small to medium sized dog, not tiny.

Elsiebear90 · 03/04/2022 17:35

I personally wouldn’t have replaced the egg as it was a good lesson to him to not leave food around the dog, but your husbands reaction is concerning and I don’t agree with locking a two year old who is understandably very upset away until he stops crying and calling his reaction pathetic, that’s awful and says a lot about him.

lemongreentea · 03/04/2022 17:36

@VelvetChairGirl

1: 2 years old is too young for a kinder toy, they are a choking hazard at that age.

2: the dog could be sick.

3: did you really drive to buy a 60p egg thats very environmentally unfriendly, if it only takes 5mins in car why not walk.

4: the man is a tosser and his behaviour towards a child is stupid, he's acting like the child is an adult, not good.

This

huuskymam · 03/04/2022 17:36

Your husband was a dick. All kids get excited.

Kinder eggs have been recalled due to salmonella. Keep an eye on your dog.

Newuser82 · 03/04/2022 17:37

The dog will be fine. It's more the dark chocolate which is worse for them. A tiny kinder egg will be fine.

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