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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was totally inappropriate parenting?

490 replies

eggstremereaction · 03/04/2022 15:55

Couldn't resist the username opportunity whilst name changing but genuinely upset about what happened

2 year old had a kinder egg as a treat, had spent hours going on about it, was very excited, literally shaking and stamping his feet when the lady in the shop passed it to him at the tills (yes over reaction but he is little) anyway I don't let him open until we get gone and he's very good doesn't try and open it the car, keeps saying "I excited" and giggling, was very cute and dh and me were both laughing finding it cute

Got home, I went and got a bowl to put it in, gave it to toddler, he was happy and took it into the lounge and broke it up in the bowl. Came running in with the toy asking me to open it which I did but doing so left dog unattended around egg which he'd left on the sofa so he went running back in to eat it and it was gone and he was hysterical, so upset. I thought it was fair enough, he's two! He was excited. Yes it's only a chocolate egg but he's tiny and isn't going to react like an adult would. Dh said it was ridiculous, huge overeaction, started saying his excitement in the first place was too intense for chocolate, unhealthy reaction blah blah blah. I went to go back in the car and get him another one, shops only 5 mins and it was like 60p it doesn't matter and it'll make him happy and dh said if I dare go get him an egg I am completely undermining his parenting. So toddler just kept crying. He was saying he was sad and wanted an egg, in the end I said to dh I'm just going to get one and I jumped in the car.

Got back and could hear screaming from the driveway. Toddler was in his room (behind closed stair gate) dh saying you can come out when you stop crying. Pathetic it's an egg. I went and got toddler and took him downstairs and gave him his egg and said it is completely ok to be upset, he's not in any trouble and to just be very careful to not leave food around the dog so this doesn't happen again as I won't always be able to go get a replacement. Dh really annoyed that I undermined him and said I'm too soft and he's going to be a spoilt entitled boy. He just wanted a bloody kinder egg.

Was I unreasonable or was this really inappropriate on his part?

OP posts:
Genevie82 · 03/04/2022 17:04

Op your DH needs a talking to by you once DC is not about and your both feeling calm. That’s all about feeling in control by him and a punitive dismissive reaction to your DC feelings. Your Dc distress was a trigger to your DH attachment style as a parent and thank god you’re an assertive mum who has empathy for their child. Nip it in the bud now and tell him you find his behaviour unacceptable with your approach to parenting. He may reflect once you’ve talked xxx

mydogisthebest · 03/04/2022 17:04

I would be much more concerned about your dog. Chocolate can kill or make a dog very ill and, yes, even a small amount.

You should never be leaving a young child alone with a dog especially when they are eating

velvet24 · 03/04/2022 17:05

I thought that , doesnt seem to be any concern for the dog here, chocolate can make a dog v ill

Weekendtobegin · 03/04/2022 17:07

I have to completely disagree that a 2 year old will grow up to be a spoilt boy just because his mum replaced his egg.

Some people really do overthink things just like the ops husband.

Like the other poster said if you knocked your drink over in the pub you wouldn't deprive yourself of another to teach yourself a lesson.

HollowTalk · 03/04/2022 17:08

OP, your husband is really horrible and he risks losing both of you. If he was in a pub and accidentally knocked over a drink belonging to a great big bloke he wouldn't tell him to suck it up.

myyellowcar · 03/04/2022 17:08

You handled it fine, your DH was horrible to your toddler.

A kinder egg will not harm a dog FFS.

Justleaveitblankthen · 03/04/2022 17:09

@Grumpasaurusrex

As for the dog, mine has nicked plenty of chocolate in his time and never been a problem.

I grew up in the '70's when Dogs roamed in gangs and came home when hungry ( or heard the rustle of chocolate or crisp wrappers Grin)
Different times of course, but your dog will be fine. You are obviously there watching it and would know if it wasn't.
Meanwhile, i' m gutted for your poor little baby. Your husband is a controlling twat. Sorry Flowers

Kdubs1981 · 03/04/2022 17:10

@WTF475878237NC

He's definitely being unreasonable.

Separately, it sounds like your son has had early exposure to chocolate to get that excited about it already when it's not recommended under two.

Oh do bore off.

How very judgmental of you. It's not his second birthday. He can have been exposed to chocolate without having it under two (not that's it any of your business when he has it).

Also his reaction to it suggests he's not having it every day.

OrchardBlack · 03/04/2022 17:11

Has anyone mentioned about the dog having chocolate yet? Grin

Your DS sounds adorable and your DH behaved appallingly OP.

Does he have form for this?

Nothappyatwork · 03/04/2022 17:11

Next time take the toddler with you buy the replacement egg

mydogisthebest · 03/04/2022 17:13

@HardbackWriter

It is such classic MN that people are more concerned about the dog than they are about a father bullying a two year old.
Dogs can die from eating chocolate. A bullied child is not right but the child is not going to die from it are they?

Posters saying not enough chocolate to kill the dog don't know that for sure.

For a start we don't know the size of the dog and secondly different dogs react differently. A friend's dog was very ill after eating just a couple of raisins while another friend's dog eat quite a few and had no ill effects

Whiskeypowers · 03/04/2022 17:13

@myyellowcar

You handled it fine, your DH was horrible to your toddler.

A kinder egg will not harm a dog FFS.

It’s not exactly 70% cocoa is it.
00100001 · 03/04/2022 17:13

I'll bet DH would be miffed if the dog ate his much wanted treat and would certainly replace it...

BellePeppa · 03/04/2022 17:14

Personally I wouldn’t leave your d*ckhead husband alone with your child for any length of time as his parenting skills are zero.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 03/04/2022 17:14

@FairyLightPups

Your DH is an arse. Also please get your dog checked out, even the smallest piece of chocolate can be incredibly dangerous.
No, it can't be.

A 20g kinder egg won't harm the vast, vast majority of dogs. The hysteria on this thread about dogs and chocolate is ridiculous.

Dogs can tolerate small amounts of chocolate just fine. That's not to say you should go around and give them chocolate, but it won't hurt them if they've snuck a bit of it.

Chocolate toxicity is dependent on how much chocolate is eaten, how much cocoa is in it (white chocolate is safer than milk, which is safer than dark) and the size of the dog.

The vast, vast majority of dogs can tolerate 20g of white/milk Kinder Egg chocolate with absolutely zero issue.

Whiskeypowers · 03/04/2022 17:16

It’s the theobromine that is the issue in chocolate . Dark chocolate and baking chocolate is much more serious
Aside from this your husband seems to be a mean rather bullying father and co parent in this context

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 03/04/2022 17:17

@mydogisthebest chocolate and raisins aren't comparable.

Chocolate toxicity (as above) is based on amount, cocoa percentage and weight of the dog. 20g of Kinder Egg isn't enough to cause poisoning unless the dog weighs less than a kilo.

Raisins and grapes are entirely different because some dogs can eat loads and be fine, whereas others can be killed with just one or two, so you should always take your dog to the vets to be safe.

No need with chocolate unless the dog has eaten a dangerous amount.

Here: www.vets-now.com/dog-chocolate-toxicity-calculator/

godmum56 · 03/04/2022 17:17

yabu for leaving the child with food around the dog and unsupervised, but your husband is a nasty bastard.

Amybelle88 · 03/04/2022 17:17

"I excited" 😍😍😭😭😍😍

Your husband is a tosser.

The baby is two and the dog ate his chocolate - that's rock bottom shit for a two year old. Internally, it's rock bottom shit for me, too 😂

You did the right thing, tell your husband he's been a nasty bastard and take no notice to his shit parenting.

Nonbio46 · 03/04/2022 17:17

Kinder chocolate won’t harm the dog but strong dark chocolate has whatever is poisonous in it so that would be a worry. You definitely did the right thing replacing the egg though. Hope you get things sorted with your husband. x

girlmom21 · 03/04/2022 17:20

When you say 2, is he just turned 2 or almost 3. They grow a lot at this age and when they learn to understand and communicate they need to know about leaving chocolate around dogs.

My 2yo (nearly 3) will ask if she can share her food with the dog or if it will make him poorly. She knows she can't leave chocolate around him. I think it's important moving forward to monitor him with chocolate or other toxic foods for dogs. It's a good lesson.

Aside from that, I wouldn't have replaced the egg. Especially if it meant going out again for it. But your husband sounds horrible. Locking a child behind a gate because he's crying is disgusting.

SymbollocksInteractionism · 03/04/2022 17:20

Your husband was a dick. You were right

Fairislefandango · 03/04/2022 17:20

There will be practically bugger all theobromine in a milky little thin Kinder egg.

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/04/2022 17:21

Your DH really was being a dick, is this usual?

Having said that, while I would have given a two year old another egg if it was in the cupboard, jumping in the car to get one is bonkers - it is important for kids to learn they can be sad and it will pass.

Assuming this level of dickishness is unusual and you don’t need to LTB, then a big conversation about how to find a compromise between your parenting styles, and perhaps some child development reading for him, or you and your children will have a rocky road.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 03/04/2022 17:21

Your husband is being a prick.

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