Page 12 | To think this was totally inappropriate parenting?

AlternativePerspective · 03/04/2022 19:03

train your dog better? there’s always one.

Dogs are opportunists, and when it comes to food they will take an opportunity if it’s presented to them. And that is all dogs, even the most well trained ones.

My dog is impeckibly trained - he’s a guide dog. That seemingly didn’t stop him taking about a quarter of a tub of butter off the side last week and eating it. I’d stepped out for 5 minutes to walk my other dog, he’s never done it before so complacently I left the kitchen door open.

The state of my carpet the next day was something else, and the only one who has learned from that is me. .

And I don’t know a single guide dog owner who hasn’t at some point had their dog eat something they shouldn’t have. From a whole turkey in one instance to chocolate to a chocolate cake to muffins and the list goes on, all of which were left within reach.

They’redogs animals. And they’re not perfect. Not even the best trained ones.

Squiff70 · 03/04/2022 19:03

Your husband reacted completely inappropriately in the context of the situation. Of course your toddler was excited about his eqgg, but he shouldn't have been left unsupervised - with a dog and potential small parts of a toy which are a choking hazard should he have been able to open it himself. You (or your husband) should have prepared the chocolate and the toy and stayed with your child until he'd eaten the chocolate and had had a chance to look at the toy. When he loses interest in either, you take them both away until he can be supervised with them again later.

I am not sure about driving to the shop to replace the egg but that's not really the main issue here. Your husband confined a tiny child, who is not old enough to be able to regulate his emotions, in his bedroom to punish him for a totally normal reaction for a two year old. That needs addressing, as does your husband's general attitude towards parenting.

Also, you're negating to mention your poor dog. Chocolate is toxic to dogs. You should both know this and be conscious of your dog's safety as well as your child's. I hope your dog doesn't suffer any ill effects.

Suzi888 · 03/04/2022 19:03

@Pyri

You husband sounds awful, no way to treat a toddler

Is your dog ok? Chocolate is toxic to dogs and might really harm him

^ This Your DH is a dick.

Hope DDog will be ok- our JRT could eat anything but our lab not so much.

Hope your DS enjoyed his choc.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 03/04/2022 19:03

Sorry but I hate men like this who think any indulgence is going to turn their son into a faggot (not my words).
My ex husband did this and had already planned a career in the military for DS.
I divorced him and DS is now a professional artist. Totally not suited for the military. Still get letters from him even though DS is now 40 saying looked what I turned DS into.

stuntbubbles · 03/04/2022 19:04

@VeganGod

Don’t care about the dog, can’t believe how much of the thread is about the bloody dog when the husband is this awful to a TWO YEAR OLD.

It possible to care about children and animals. Imagine that.

There are multiple posts that ONLY express concern about the dog and ignore the humans altogether!

DigsDilemma · 03/04/2022 19:05

Your husband is a nasty twat, who doesn't understand empathy. To a 2 year old, a kinder egg is the equivalent of a Michelin meal or a ferrari or a wordl cup final (or other extremely expensive treat). I bet he was so confused and sad after being so happy and excited. Glad you've got his back OP. It's fine to undermine parenting when the parenting is shit.

bellocchild · 03/04/2022 19:08

This is where you respond to DH by telling him he is cruel and unloving. Something rude anyway.

Thinkbiglittleone · 03/04/2022 19:09

You did absolutely the right thing.
Your son needs to know it's perfectly normal to cry when you are upset. Acknowledge that is a valid feeling, He needs to learn that showing your emotions is not a wrong or weak thing and he needs to learn how to manage them in a healthy way and not bottling them up resulting in them being expressed in anger or aggression.

Your DH needs to be educated on how to teach his boy about emotions and also that we don't lock people away for crying.
He sounds like he got this massively wrong, is he always this harsh ?

Friendofdennis · 03/04/2022 19:10

Your husband is a bully. Don’t let him undermine your parenting

KnowingMeKnowingYouAhaaaa · 03/04/2022 19:12

I think your husband needs shutting in a room behind a toddler gate until he's calmed down. Has he completely forgot this is a 2 year old you are dealing with? I'd have done the same as you and got another with a child so young, an older child 7+ who you've said don't leave it out not at all unreasonable to say it's gone, but so little no.

Mangogogogo · 03/04/2022 19:13

Our dog broke into my teenage sons room and ate his entire Easter egg. (Dog is a rescue don’t talk to me about training until you’ve adopted a starving dog off the streets. She will eat anything as she never knew when her next meal would be, and I don’t blame her) anyway said teenager threw the biggest strop, texted me about 50 times after stomping upstairs, slamming doors, just ranting and raving on and ended up in tears… so I mean it could be worse!

Your husband was nasty and that makes me sad :( poor little boy!

Autumn42 · 03/04/2022 19:14

@eggstremereaction

Couldn't resist the username opportunity whilst name changing but genuinely upset about what happened

2 year old had a kinder egg as a treat, had spent hours going on about it, was very excited, literally shaking and stamping his feet when the lady in the shop passed it to him at the tills (yes over reaction but he is little) anyway I don't let him open until we get gone and he's very good doesn't try and open it the car, keeps saying "I excited" and giggling, was very cute and dh and me were both laughing finding it cute

Got home, I went and got a bowl to put it in, gave it to toddler, he was happy and took it into the lounge and broke it up in the bowl. Came running in with the toy asking me to open it which I did but doing so left dog unattended around egg which he'd left on the sofa so he went running back in to eat it and it was gone and he was hysterical, so upset. I thought it was fair enough, he's two! He was excited. Yes it's only a chocolate egg but he's tiny and isn't going to react like an adult would. Dh said it was ridiculous, huge overeaction, started saying his excitement in the first place was too intense for chocolate, unhealthy reaction blah blah blah. I went to go back in the car and get him another one, shops only 5 mins and it was like 60p it doesn't matter and it'll make him happy and dh said if I dare go get him an egg I am completely undermining his parenting. So toddler just kept crying. He was saying he was sad and wanted an egg, in the end I said to dh I'm just going to get one and I jumped in the car.

Got back and could hear screaming from the driveway. Toddler was in his room (behind closed stair gate) dh saying you can come out when you stop crying. Pathetic it's an egg. I went and got toddler and took him downstairs and gave him his egg and said it is completely ok to be upset, he's not in any trouble and to just be very careful to not leave food around the dog so this doesn't happen again as I won't always be able to go get a replacement. Dh really annoyed that I undermined him and said I'm too soft and he's going to be a spoilt entitled boy. He just wanted a bloody kinder egg.

Was I unreasonable or was this really inappropriate on his part?

I would say I’m a firm parent but your Dh being a complete twat, did he always have such a complete lack of empathy? I really feel sorry for both you and your DS :(

mydogisthebest · 03/04/2022 19:17

@stuntbubbles

Don’t care about the dog, can’t believe how much of the thread is about the bloody dog when the husband is this awful to a TWO YEAR OLD.

OP, my DD would have the same levels of hand-clapping excitement and joy at such a treat, and the same devastation at it being eaten. Totally normal. And FWIW I’m 40 and get excited by treats and gutted if they’re ruined. I can control the extreme reaction of it, obviously, but as Mary Oliver says, joy is not meant to be a crumb: your kid sounds happy and normal and is gaining pleasure at all the tiny pleasures of the world, like a little bit of chocolate. Don’t let your penis of a husband take that joy away.

Dogs can DIE eating chocolate, even a small amount or be seriously ill.

Of course the dad was awful to the son but the son was not at risk of dying was he?

stuntbubbles · 03/04/2022 19:20

@mydogisthebest The dad literally shut the toddler in his room for crying. Crying is what toddlers do. It’s outrageous behaviour and the dog ate a Kinder egg which is barely chocolate and is going to be fine: I’m horrified by the posters who’ve only posted about the dog, and not about the borderline abusive parenting. The post isn’t even about the dog, the dog is irrelevant other than as the cause of the post – but it’s not the point of the post.

Mouldyfeet · 03/04/2022 19:21

Your husband is an absolute dick! Your poor son.

This would really change my view of my partner. Horrible way to behave.

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 03/04/2022 19:23

Wow he sounds a bit unhinged, punishing a crying 2 yr old because the dog ate his suprise.
The dog ate my jammie Dodgers off the couch last yr.
Bloody 🐕.🤣

Faevern · 03/04/2022 19:24

Yes your DH is a twat, your 2 year old does not know how to deal with extreme disappointment he hasn’t got the emotional skills yet. What’s your twat of a husbands excuse?

OddSocksSparklyDocsandDungaree · 03/04/2022 19:25

@pinkstripeycat

My dog ate a whole chocolate cake once. He was fine, no I’ll effects at all. A dog won’t drop dead after one tiny kinder egg. THAT is an over reaction

OP, I’d also have replaced the egg for baby and your husband’s reaction is way OTT for a baby

@pinkstripeycat Our lab ate an 80g chocolate santa a few weeks back. He was fine - a little hyper - but he lived to tell the tale

OliveLover01 · 03/04/2022 19:27

Your DH was being totally unreasonable but you also did kind of undermine him. Although your child is 2 and won’t see it like that, your DH will and has. It’s hard because honestly, I probably would have just cuddled my DS and just told him I was so sorry the doggy ate it but it’s sooooo tasty and if you leave yummy food out the dog will eat it, next time we’ll have to remember and put it up high’ and offered him something from the cupboard instead. It’s just an egg as you said and of course the excitement is intense but disappointment isn’t going to kill him either.

That said…. You getting him another egg isn’t going to make him spoilt and entitled.

Both of you were a bit U.

Lemonlady22 · 03/04/2022 19:28

Yes innappropriate parenting to give a kinder egg to a 2 year old, they have a small parts choking hazard recommendation to only give to 3 years and above

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/04/2022 19:29

I hope you’ve rescued your little one. Your husband has been incredibly cruel.

I cannot believe he stopped you going out again to get a replacement. Who forces their wife to agree to shutting a baby in their room for crying over losing their prized possession?!

I still remember something like this happening to me when I was very little. Except it was my mother. I was blamed for losing something I really wanted despite being only 2/3 years old. The prized possession was not replaced.

LizzieSiddal · 03/04/2022 19:29

It’s dark chocolate which is dangerous to dogs and they have to eat a certain amount of it. There’s a calculator somewhere online where you can work the amount out.

Thatsplentyjack · 03/04/2022 19:30

Next time just give the kid the chocolate when you buy it.

mam0918 · 03/04/2022 19:31

Your DH sounds abusive.

I have issues with food to this day because my father would act like this any time I was hungry or cried for food.

As for the dog its fine... growing up in the 80s our dogs ate chocolate ALL the time (far larger amounts than a kinder egg) and they all lived very long perfectly happy lives albeit slightly chubby ones.

BarryFromEastenders · 03/04/2022 19:31

Worryingly cruel behaviour from your partner here. Punishing a child with isolation is potentially psychologically damaging, particularly at a young age.