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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this should be against the law

182 replies

Oysterbabe · 03/04/2022 09:59

I'm staying at my inlaws this weekend. They don't have a lock on the shower room. I have a lightning fast shower, terrified of FIL walking in the entire time. He wouldn't do this on purpose but my kids would fling the door open without a second's thought of anyone else being nearby.

I was at a BBQ last year with about 20 other people. No lock on the bathroom door. Had to wee as quickly as possible in fear.

I think a lock, or some other method of indicating the room is occupied, should be a legal requirement punished with a fixed penalty fine of £100 or unlimited fine and 3 months in prison if the lack of lock results in someone seeing your bum.

OP posts:
Mellowyellow222 · 03/04/2022 12:55

I agree😂. I remember hating going to my parents friends house as a child. No lock, one loo and people constantly opening the door while you were peeing.

Being a teenager I found it sooo embarrassing.

A lock is cheap wand easy to fix. Don’t have guests if you can’t offer them privacy when they pee Smile

Sparklingbrook · 03/04/2022 12:56

@Oysterbabe

I don't lock the door in my house when only my family are there. I have locks for the benefit of guests. I imagine there will come a time when my children are teens that they will want a lock.
I think locks for guests' comfort are essential and especially if you have pre-teens/teenagers who have their friends round a lot. Plus for the teenager's own privacy when bathing/showering etc
NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/04/2022 12:56

@Fimofriend

I think that no lock on bathroom doors is a red flag signalling an inability to respect boundaries. I would get someone to guard the door while I was using the bathroom.
After I had to break DP out of the bathroom one day because the lock failed, we never bothered to ask the landlord to replace it. Nobody has ever been walked in on precisely because boundaries are respected automatically - if the door is shut, it's occupied. No need for a physical lock when somebody has clearly indicated a wish for privacy.

The cat hasn't quite got the idea yet, as if we aren't quick enough, he'll run on ahead to get there first, but he does generally stick to flopping outside to guard the door if it's closed - but humans? Easy.

Sparklingbrook · 03/04/2022 12:57

Usually on threads like this (and about bathroom bins) there's the 'we don't ever have any visitors' people. Which always makes me think 'yes because you have no locks on your toilet door and no bin in your bathroom'. Grin

augustusglupe · 03/04/2022 12:59

We do the doorstop wedge too. It's been round the world with us Grin
It's a rubber one, cheap and brilliant. FIL won't stand a chance!!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 03/04/2022 13:04

@girlmom21

DP and I regularly have this argument. He doesn't want a lock on the bathroom doors because he thinks the children will lock themselves in.

I think we could have one above where they could reach.

We're moving to a new house soon and I didn't check whether there are locks on the bathrooms Grin

I'm going to put one on the downstairs toilet and the master bathroom for guests comfort after reading this!

Tell him about these things called bolts, which you can fit right at the top of the door.
RiverSkater · 03/04/2022 13:06

Bring your own door wedge. Problem solved.

Rowgtfc72 · 03/04/2022 13:06

Also don't have a lock and if the doors closed there's someone using it. Most visitors close the door and we never have that many visitors that we'd lose track of where they are.

JudgeJ · 03/04/2022 13:11

@mynameiscalypso

As someone with a toddler who has just learnt to open doors, I agree locks should be mandatory
Or maybe train your child to do as he/she is told! On the day we moved into this house our grandchild closed the loo door and couldn't open it, very stiff handle, she didn't do it twice though.
HedgehogToes · 03/04/2022 13:11

@Helenahandkart

The people who don’t have bathroom locks , why not? It takes 5 minutes to fit a bolt, high up if necessary to stop children getting stuck. Why would you not do this so your guests aren’t stressed about going to the toilet?
Because we so very rarely have guests.

Or if we do, it's close family or a friend. And our house is tiny, so you generally know where everyone is at any one time anyway.

JudgeJ · 03/04/2022 13:13

@Sparklingbrook

Usually on threads like this (and about bathroom bins) there's the 'we don't ever have any visitors' people. Which always makes me think 'yes because you have no locks on your toilet door and no bin in your bathroom'. Grin
Don't forget the toilet brush dilemma too, have or not have.
JudgeJ · 03/04/2022 13:14

@theamericanbream

You would hate using my bathroom / loo then, the door is opaque glass. 🙂

This should be worthy of jail time.

I recall staying in a hotel in Berlin where the bathroom wall was opaque glass bricks, it was OK during the day but a night could be a revealation.
fiftyandfat · 03/04/2022 13:14

DD was on a scout trip in Africa and a man tried to get into their hotel room. Ditto school trip in Italy. The rubber wedge is essential on all trips.

AlternativePerspective · 03/04/2022 13:19

The people who don’t have bathroom locks , why not? when I was 11 my dad had a fit in the bath, and the bathroom door was locked, with a key, and my mum axed the door down to get to him. She pulled him out from under the water where he certainly would have drowned.

When we moved into our last house it had a door which locked with a key and I removed the key and put it away.

Nobody needs a lock on a bathroom door. It’s very simple. If the door’s shut then those wanting to enter should be expected to knock and ask if anyone is in there.

AlternativePerspective · 03/04/2022 13:20

So in essence, a lock could mean the difference between life and death. Not having a lock is just a bit of embarrassment.

And for the poster saying that not having a lock means not respecting guests’ boundaries, I disagree. Not expecting boundaries is not knocking the door before you enter the bathroom.

AlternativePerspective · 03/04/2022 13:21

*respecting

NerrSnerr · 03/04/2022 13:24

@AlternativePerspective

So in essence, a lock could mean the difference between life and death. Not having a lock is just a bit of embarrassment.

And for the poster saying that not having a lock means not respecting guests’ boundaries, I disagree. Not expecting boundaries is not knocking the door before you enter the bathroom.

Do you lock the door in a public toilet though?

Complete understand if having a bath/ shower, especially if you have an existing medical condition but I don't see the difference in locking the toilet at home or at work in that respect.

AlternativePerspective · 03/04/2022 13:25

A toilet is a public place. Added to which ost toilet cubicles only push shut whereas private bathrooms tend to have a proper door with a handle.

thecapitalsunited · 03/04/2022 13:30

In my house sometimes the bathroom door is shut to stop the stench of a post-curry shit from escaping into the rest of the house before it’s gone out of the window or to let the steam from a shower out but stop the heat from the rest of the house escaping out of the window. My downstairs bathroom door is always closed it opens outwards and it’s right next to the front door and can block it from opening if it’s open too far. There’s not enough room for it to open inwards.

We have locks on our bathroom doors but they can all be opened from the outside with a coin. You don’t have to have a lock with a key or a bolt which can only be opened from the inside. I have problems peeing anywhere unfamiliar and things like no locks make it even harder for me to be able to go. I’d be at the stage of almost wetting myself before my brain would let me go somewhere without a lock.

FairFuming · 03/04/2022 13:42

I took the lock off my bathroom door after my daughter locked herself in there...

Sparklingbrook · 03/04/2022 13:49

@FairFuming

I took the lock off my bathroom door after my daughter locked herself in there...
You can get locks that open from the outside. With a coin usually.
NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/04/2022 13:52

A lock that opened with a coin was the type that malfunctioned and trapped DP in it. Happened to the family in the house next door, too - they're not fit for purpose.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 03/04/2022 13:52

Do you mean the person seeing your bum gets locked up for three months, or is your arse so hideous that you'd deserve a three month stretch for displaying it publicly?

MrsLargeEmbodied · 03/04/2022 13:58

neither our bathroom or loo have windows
people have become locked in in the past

the bathroom has no lock now
actually the loo does but it terrifies me

Gwenhwyfar · 03/04/2022 14:17

"So in essence, a lock could mean the difference between life and death. Not having a lock is just a bit of embarrassment."

So you'd take the locks of public toilets as well then, in case someone dies in them?