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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this should be against the law

182 replies

Oysterbabe · 03/04/2022 09:59

I'm staying at my inlaws this weekend. They don't have a lock on the shower room. I have a lightning fast shower, terrified of FIL walking in the entire time. He wouldn't do this on purpose but my kids would fling the door open without a second's thought of anyone else being nearby.

I was at a BBQ last year with about 20 other people. No lock on the bathroom door. Had to wee as quickly as possible in fear.

I think a lock, or some other method of indicating the room is occupied, should be a legal requirement punished with a fixed penalty fine of £100 or unlimited fine and 3 months in prison if the lack of lock results in someone seeing your bum.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 03/04/2022 11:36

@Helenahandkart

The people who don’t have bathroom locks , why not? It takes 5 minutes to fit a bolt, high up if necessary to stop children getting stuck. Why would you not do this so your guests aren’t stressed about going to the toilet?
Well generally my guests can communicate like adults and will say "I'm just popping to the toilet." We don't have overnight guests so don't need to worry about people roaming around generally.
spotcheck · 03/04/2022 11:36

@SniffMyQuiffyHair

I agree Grin I'd get bum freeze and not be able to have a poo knowing that someone could walk in It's just wrong on so many levels
But surely your bum freezes shut at other people's houses? As it should!!!!!
Concestor · 03/04/2022 11:37

We don't have locks. If the door is closed then someone is in there. If it's ajar then it's free. It's not hard

daimbarsatemydogsbone · 03/04/2022 11:39

Yeah we should definitely waste Parliamentary time on this sort of shit, and even more so the Police on enforcement - I mean the Police are always looking for more pointless shit to do aren't they?

Sparklingbrook · 03/04/2022 11:40

@zurala

We don't have locks. If the door is closed then someone is in there. If it's ajar then it's free. It's not hard
How do new visitors (especially new ones) know this rule? Do you announce it on their arrival?
Gwenhwyfar · 03/04/2022 11:40

@RealRaymondReddington

Just wedge something against the door like a towel or something if you are worried when showering.
My bathroom door opens outwards. I'd be really grateful for any ideas that don't involve asking the landlord's permission and drilling holes into the wall. It would be great if it opened inwards - I'd just have a weight by the door to keep it closed.
Original poster
Oysterbabe · 03/04/2022 11:41

@daimbarsatemydogsbone

Yeah we should definitely waste Parliamentary time on this sort of shit, and even more so the Police on enforcement - I mean the Police are always looking for more pointless shit to do aren't they?
I'm glad you agree Grin
OP posts:
amoobaa · 03/04/2022 11:41

This just brought back memories of living in a shared house, where the landlord (who lived in the property) was incredibly messy but very anal about us not touching anything (he’d hit the roof if any of us tried to tidy the kitchen) there was actually no door on the bathroom. At all. Nothing! And it was directly opposite the front door!

Yet despite this, he had weird things like a special eyewash station that he installed in the hallway and made us all stand in a line whilst he ‘inducted’ us to the eyewash station… preaching about health and safety (whilst there were several electric cables and wires trailed across the hall, where he was drilling and doing makeshift electrical adjustments…)

AND we later discovered the woman who actually owned the house had built a wall and some steps in the garden, out of… wait for it… papier-mâché.

One of the tenants tried to walk on the steps and went straight through them. the owner was an artist who would sometimes turn up unannounced. I once looked out my bedroom window late at night to see her sitting on the roof of the garden shed.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/04/2022 11:41

@zurala

We don't have locks. If the door is closed then someone is in there. If it's ajar then it's free. It's not hard
It's hard if you need to close the door sometimes when it's empty (I need to do that to warm it up a bit). And also if you have visitors and they won't remember or respect the system.
Waxonwaxoff0 · 03/04/2022 11:42

I don't have a lock on the bathroom door. Never have. It's just me and DS though and he's at an age where he'd be mortified to see me naked so he'd never open the door! If there are visitors it's just sensible to knock surely.

Zonder · 03/04/2022 11:42

I'm going to start an Etsy business selling handmade door hanger signs that you can flip to say vacant or occupied. I think this will make my fortune.

So I'm all for this law - it would really boost my business. Shall we start a petition OP?

To think this should be against the law
Original poster
Oysterbabe · 03/04/2022 11:42

@zurala

We don't have locks. If the door is closed then someone is in there. If it's ajar then it's free. It's not hard
If I visit you with my children then my 4 year old won't remember that and will definitely just walk in.
OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 03/04/2022 11:43

@amoobaa

This just brought back memories of living in a shared house, where the landlord (who lived in the property) was incredibly messy but very anal about us not touching anything (he’d hit the roof if any of us tried to tidy the kitchen) there was actually no door on the bathroom. At all. Nothing! And it was directly opposite the front door!

Yet despite this, he had weird things like a special eyewash station that he installed in the hallway and made us all stand in a line whilst he ‘inducted’ us to the eyewash station… preaching about health and safety (whilst there were several electric cables and wires trailed across the hall, where he was drilling and doing makeshift electrical adjustments…)

AND we later discovered the woman who actually owned the house had built a wall and some steps in the garden, out of… wait for it… papier-mâché.

One of the tenants tried to walk on the steps and went straight through them. the owner was an artist who would sometimes turn up unannounced. I once looked out my bedroom window late at night to see her sitting on the roof of the garden shed.

Please tell me you made this up.
HomeprideSaucy · 03/04/2022 11:43

If you stay regularly with your in-laws, buy a small rubber door wedge and leave it in your wash bag ready for your visit, then you could wedge the door shut from the inside (and they would be none the wiser).

Gwenhwyfar · 03/04/2022 11:44

@Zonder

I'm going to start an Etsy business selling handmade door hanger signs that you can flip to say vacant or occupied. I think this will make my fortune.

So I'm all for this law - it would really boost my business. Shall we start a petition OP?

I'm afraid this wouldn't work enough in my place with a faint light in the hallway. And for OP, she'd have to carry it wherever she goes. If I'm visiting somewhere like this, I just take my handbag with me to put against the door - obviously doesn't work with my outward opening door.
Longdistance · 03/04/2022 11:44

Take a door wedge with you. Close the door and wedge it. That it write on a piece of paper ‘fuck off!’

DisforDarkChocolate · 03/04/2022 11:45

It's certainly bloody annoying. You need to carry a door wedge in your handbag.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/04/2022 11:46

"Well generally my guests can communicate like adults and will say "I'm just popping to the toilet.""

Fine if you only have a couple of people over, but if you have more people than that it won't work. They may not be standing next to you when the need arises, for example and there may be too many people for everyone to hear them say they're going to the toilet.

lapasion · 03/04/2022 11:46

Sing. Loudly.

I sympathise though. We sometimes stay at ILs in countryside and their bathroom window has no blinds or tinted glass because it’s ‘not overlooked’. Except it bloody is if anyone goes for a walk along the public path! I have to drape towels over the window in strategic places to go to the loo and showering is a complete nightmare. I have to basically close the shower curtain while clothed and then strip in the shower. Please add ‘walkers seeing my tits’ to list of things that are illegal, thanks.

LindaEllen · 03/04/2022 11:48

We always had a locked door growing up, and when I moved in with DP he didn't have a lock.. they just work it so if the door's closed you need to knock, if it's open you can just go in.. but I always pulled the washing basket in front of the door if I was using the loo/shower/bath.

Luckily we've just had the bathroom done and either tomorrow or Tuesday we will finally get a door with a lock!

It works for some (and you can't really complain when it's not your house) but I absolutely, 100% need and want a lock!

Gwenhwyfar · 03/04/2022 11:50

@SpeedofaSloth

Once visited a house where the loo door was GLAZED. FFS.
I had one actually. There was a bit of a pattern to it, but it was still see through. I put a poster over the window part.
NerrSnerr · 03/04/2022 11:51

When my step dad moved in with my mum when I was about 19 he huffed and puffed about having locks on the bathroom door. He felt it wasn't needed in a family home.

Bloody creepy. Why not give people choice if they want privacy or not? There's no need for any kind of 'system' with ajar doors etc if there's a lock.

Original poster
Oysterbabe · 03/04/2022 11:51

@Gwenhwyfar

"Well generally my guests can communicate like adults and will say "I'm just popping to the toilet.""

Fine if you only have a couple of people over, but if you have more people than that it won't work. They may not be standing next to you when the need arises, for example and there may be too many people for everyone to hear them say they're going to the toilet.

You need to hunt everyone down and tell them. FIL is in the garden atm, I'm going to go and tell him I need a poo in case he comes back in before I'm done.
OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 03/04/2022 11:51

I think as a teenage girl it was daunting enough going to a new boyfriend's house to meet his parents without having to announce 'I'm just going to the toilet' because they didn't have a lock on the toilet door.Confused

amoobaa · 03/04/2022 11:53

Nope! Its 100% true. I met some lovely people there but one by one we all ended up leaving. One guy left because he got into a massive fight with the landlord over when the washing machine was emptied! He moved out with two other girls and they all went and lived in a new house share. I moved after we got broken into and my laptop was stolen (and the landlord tried to blame the tenants!!) I moved out and went to live with my partner at the time.

I was studying for a masters at the time. The property was very close to new cross gate station.

I often think of it.

But I feel like my entire life has been one unbelievable story. Honestly, I could write a book about it.

I don’t want to jinx anything but it always seems to work out well in the end. The weird things that happen somehow get me to a better place.

I might start a thread about it actually…