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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this should be against the law

182 replies

Oysterbabe · 03/04/2022 09:59

I'm staying at my inlaws this weekend. They don't have a lock on the shower room. I have a lightning fast shower, terrified of FIL walking in the entire time. He wouldn't do this on purpose but my kids would fling the door open without a second's thought of anyone else being nearby.

I was at a BBQ last year with about 20 other people. No lock on the bathroom door. Had to wee as quickly as possible in fear.

I think a lock, or some other method of indicating the room is occupied, should be a legal requirement punished with a fixed penalty fine of £100 or unlimited fine and 3 months in prison if the lack of lock results in someone seeing your bum.

OP posts:
SevenWaystoLeave · 03/04/2022 12:27

Our bathroom didn't have a lock for a long time, we were only inspired to fit one when the dog figured out how to open it and would bust in on you half way through the bath in order to try and drink the bath water.

Sparklingbrook · 03/04/2022 12:27

In the 'door open-free door closed-occupied' houses how are people supposed to know that's your system? I always close the bathroom/toilet door behind me. Especially the bathrooms-to keep the heat in when you want a bath/shower.

Easier to just have a lock. Everyone knows where they are then.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/04/2022 12:29

"When I go to other people's houses they always close the door, so I'm forever knocking on the door asking if anyone is in."

Because it's not very nice to have the pan in your line of sight when you're walking around. Bad Feng Shui as well. (I know Feng Shui is probably bllx).

Norgie · 03/04/2022 12:29

@Oysterbabe It was my choice too. I love my opaque glass doors .
You can hang a bath sheet over it if you visit to avoid the £100 fine. 🙂

placemats · 03/04/2022 12:30

Can I add that this means when I do go to other people's homes I rarely lock the door, so confident I am that no one walks or barges into a bathroom when the door is closed.

I think a lock is needed now on my bathroom. On my to do list. Although, just knock before entering is my view.

Original poster
Oysterbabe · 03/04/2022 12:30

@Sparklingbrook

In the 'door open-free door closed-occupied' houses how are people supposed to know that's your system? I always close the bathroom/toilet door behind me. Especially the bathrooms-to keep the heat in when you want a bath/shower.

Easier to just have a lock. Everyone knows where they are then.

I always shut the bathroom doors too. We have a downstairs loo just inside the front door that I don't particularly want to display to anyone who comes to the door.
OP posts:
placemats · 03/04/2022 12:31

@Gwenhwyfar

"When I go to other people's houses they always close the door, so I'm forever knocking on the door asking if anyone is in."

Because it's not very nice to have the pan in your line of sight when you're walking around. Bad Feng Shui as well. (I know Feng Shui is probably bllx).

Just leave the door ajar.

It's not rocket science.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/04/2022 12:31

"You can't post that and then not say what it is?"

And does it work for outward opening doors?

NerrSnerr · 03/04/2022 12:32

@sanityisamyth Are you saying bathroom doors in houses should never be locked? Even if you're at a friends house going for a wee?

Is it riskier going to the toilet in a house than in a public place?

Gwenhwyfar · 03/04/2022 12:34

"Just leave the door ajar.

It's not rocket science."

But there are reasons not to. Bathrooms should come with locks to protect our privacy.

placemats · 03/04/2022 12:35

I don't get the closed doors thing.

How do you know someone is in there?

Do you just push the handle down?

whynotwhatknot · 03/04/2022 12:37

Yes and no im a hypocrit i like locked doors round others but dont have one on mine

my rule is though if its closed someone is in ther eleave it o0pen when not

Beachsidesunset · 03/04/2022 12:37

Carry a rubber door wedge everywhere you go. Just in case!

placemats · 03/04/2022 12:37

@Gwenhwyfar

"Just leave the door ajar.

It's not rocket science."

But there are reasons not to. Bathrooms should come with locks to protect our privacy.

What if the lock is unstable?

Common courtesy is to knock before entering if the door is closed.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/04/2022 12:38

Nobody is preventing you from knocking if you want to, but there should be a lock too.

placemats · 03/04/2022 12:38

@Gwenhwyfar

"Just leave the door ajar.

It's not rocket science."

But there are reasons not to. Bathrooms should come with locks to protect our privacy.

And you're being obtuse.

I didn't mean to leave the door ajar when in use.

Common sense.

Usingit · 03/04/2022 12:38

We haven't on the bathroom but there is on the downstairs toilet which is the one that visitors generally use

Original poster
Oysterbabe · 03/04/2022 12:39

I don't lock the door in my house when only my family are there. I have locks for the benefit of guests. I imagine there will come a time when my children are teens that they will want a lock.

OP posts:
HomeHomeInTheRange · 03/04/2022 12:40

At your ILs what about a portable sniper tower mounted above the shower so that you could gun him down if FIL blunders in? He might see your bum before he hits the floor, but at least he won’t be around to tell everyone about it.

Otherwise, as you seem to live in the epicentre of free range bathrooms, what about carrying a small laminated ‘Engaged’ sign in your handbag, with a loop to hang from the door?

Thinking about it it might be best to do this at your ILs, before annihilating your kids’ grandad?

balalake · 03/04/2022 12:43

If it bothers you that much, don't go, and say you won't go until there is one. Your kids behaviour can be used as part of the reason.

balalake · 03/04/2022 12:44

HomeHomeInTheRange loved the phrase 'free range bathrooms'!

HavfrueDenizKisi · 03/04/2022 12:46

Pah! That's nothing OP.

My friend's house used to have a glass door on the toilet (very very very slightly opaque but not nearly opaque enough). It looked onto the landing. So anyone and everyone could (and did) walk past and see you pants down having a piddle. Bloody terrifying that was. Could never manage a no 2 at their place and would stay for a few days at a time. BlushConfused

SnowySnowSnow · 03/04/2022 12:48

The previous owners of our house put locks on the bathroom doors right at the top of the door so only teens/adults could lock them. I thought this was a great idea as I’m still upset from a time I locked myself aged 5 in the toilet and couldn’t unlock the door.

girlmom21 · 03/04/2022 12:50

@Zonder

I'm afraid this wouldn't work enough in my place with a faint light in the hallway. And for OP, she'd have to carry it wherever she goes.

Good points @Gwenhwyfar so I need to make one with a kind of night light glowing frame and a fold up one to pop in a wash bag.
I've adapted the model now.

Banksy? Is that you?
janj2301 · 03/04/2022 12:54

we have no lock, only the two of us, if the door is closed and I'm not sure if it's occupied I just call out.

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