To think DP should have offered to help?

[Imaysnapandfart]

It’s my DS birthday and he wanted to go to soft play / Flip put type thing. He wanted his friend to come and DD wanted DP’s DS to come as they are really good friends. So 4 children under 11.
DP dropped his DS off this morning (we don’t live together) and then left me to it. I then had to fork out for a 6 seater cab to get us there (I don’t drive) and back again, whilst controlling 4 excited children in the chaos of soft play.

AIBU to think DP should have offered to help as he drives? He couldn’t have fit all of us in his car but he could have taken his DS and my DD so I could have taken the other 2 in a smaller (cheaper) taxi. Plus it’s very stressful being the only adult in charge of the 4 of them. Am I just being a princess or should he have stepped up?

I would have thought I'd cry once he left, and spiral into the bottle, but actually it didn't happen at all. Had a lovely afternoon with my DCs and felt more present with them than I had for ages, because I wasn't spending my head space wondering about him.

Well done OP. The relief just shows you've definitely done the right thing.

I'd say you're being a bit of a princess but I am a mum of 6 so used to that type of chaos on my own.

I'm glad you told him. It sounds like your life will be a lot easier without him.

His tears are for himself, not for you.

I quite often have his DS over for a sleepover at mine as he gets on so well with my DCs - but DP then gets to enjoy a night off at his place while I’m stuck with three kids.

Eh?

He's an arsehole. I hope you tell him you're dumping him for good.

BUT, can I ask why you don't drive? I can understand not driving pre-children, but when you have children, you have emersoogencies, ferrying about for sports, activities, parties etc. It must be hard going in cabs etc with 3 children. Take his son, and him himself, out of the equation. You'd still have to organise transport for 3 children, that can't be easy without a car. Maybe this is incentive to get your licence?

'emersoogencies' should be emergencies.

SHE'S DUMPED HIM ffs

@HangingRock25 I know, it's the bane of my life. I had a really bad experience when I was having driving lessons - pregnant with DS and was overtired, the instructor had to do an emergency stop and I went into early labour with DS.

I know I need to get over it and learn, but the thought of it terrifies me! Plus the expense of learning now is HUGE.

Plus public transport is really good where I am, so we generally get around on that.

He thought I was just being an EMOTIONAL WOMAN. He rang me crying last night

🤣 please say you asked him if he was on his period!

@Chely

I'd say you're being a bit of a princess but I am a mum of 6 so used to that type of chaos on my own.

But they are your own kids. Not someone dosser's who's dumped them on you

@Gizacluethen

He thought I was just being an EMOTIONAL WOMAN. He rang me crying last night

🤣 please say you asked him if he was on his period!

OMG I really wish I had!! Priceless! If he does it again (which he probably will, knowing him - he'll get drunk and then EMOTIONAL) I will definitely be like "Fucks sake, are you on your period?"

@SpinningTheSeedsOfLove

SHE'S DUMPED HIM ffs

@SpinningTheSeedsOfLove She didn't/hasn't actually said she has told him it's over.

Great to read a post where an OP actually values and stands up for herself!

@Gizacluethen

He thought I was just being an EMOTIONAL WOMAN. He rang me crying last night

🤣 please say you asked him if he was on his period!

Ha, I do like this. Well done op, for recognised what’s going on and having the self respect to do something about it.

I do love a happy ending 😊
Well done OP! 💐

To clarify, yes it is over. I'm still amazed that I haven't cried and I feel fairly ambivalent about it. I'm sure at some point I'll get emotional about it, but right now I actually feel strong.

I might even say no to something my kids ask later!

@Imaysnapandfart

When he came to pick up his DS I took him outside and said I didn't appreciate his lack of consideration and respect for me (there have been a few other incidences recently as well which I've posted about separately) and therefore I need to be with someone who DOES consider my feelings and respect me. His response - "Fucks sake, are you on your period?" My response - "Take your son and fuck off."

Nice one. Well done OP. It's not easy.

I hope he calls you again so you can ask if he's on period 🤣

OP,
Delighted to read you have finished things but take some time to reflect why you would allow yourself to be so thoroughly used and disrespected.

Maybe do the Freedomprogramme.co.uk to help with your boundaries.

You are very vulnerable to abuse to have accepted being so used.

You deserve better than such a waster.

Brilliant!
So glad you finished it, he sounds more like a weight on your back than a partner!

Well done OP, it's great to see a woman on here who realises she's with an arse and actually do something about it.

Luckily I get on well with his DS's mum so if there is any desperate pleading for playdates, I can organise it through her rather than him.

Brilliant. The one thing I thought was a shame would be about the friendship between the two kids, but that can continue without this slacker taking advantage of you. Nice one!