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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery have increased fees by 10% and we can't afford it.

323 replies

Notveryxmasy · 01/04/2022 13:31

With full time hours that's £100 a month more and we can't afford it. We don't have that money each month. We live rurally, I work from home and DH is a contractor so no one set place of work so DD has to go to a local childcare setting and there just aren't many to choose from at all. Her current nursery by sheer dumb luck is less than a mile down the road; I'd have to drive 6 miles to get to another one by which time the fuel using 24 miles every day would eat up any savings we could possibly make moving her. She's also settled and loves it there, I don't want to disrupt her. No chance of a pay rise as I'm public sector and DH is SE and already doing everything he can to earn what he does.

She currently goes 8-6 as I work 8:30-5. I pick her up by quatre past 5 but the nursery don't do half hours so we have to pay for the full 10 hours. I have sent an email to ask if they will please consider allowing us to drop an hour a day and let her do 8:15 to 5:15 but I haven't heard anything back and I'm not holding out hope. All our bills have increased so much these past few months and we're expecting another baby, we don't have this extra money. What can we do if the nursery refuse to let her drop an hour?

We don't have sky, we don't eat out, we don't have luxuries, I don't even have a smart phone these days as I couldn't afford to replace it when it broke. There's nothing we can cut out to magically find that £100 every month.

OP posts:
Hutchy16 · 01/04/2022 18:21

So the money stresses must be causing a huge amount of anxiety…are they impacting your ability to sleep and get work done? I definitely think a visit to the doctors to explain the level of stress you are feeling. Maybe they may suggest you taking some time off work until the baby comes Grin

harveythehorse · 01/04/2022 18:24

@Atomiccat

That is crazy money. Where I live full time nursery with well educated teachers is £90 a month, lovely home cooked meals included.
Where do you live, 1987?
Nocutenamesleft · 01/04/2022 18:25

I am so sorry. But you can’t afford another child

It’s absolute madness. But on paper. It wasn’t going to be tight. It would be impossible

Cheaper mortgage could work. If your not on a fixed rate I would ring around

Cheaper house. That would work.

Otherwise you’re talking one of you to increase your working hours. So weekend job. Cleaning supermarket shift work. It’s shit. But I can’t see any other option.

Dramaticwithgoodreason · 01/04/2022 18:25

I haven't read everyone's responses, but do you get childcare vouchers through work? Don't even know if they are still a thing, but when mine were in childcare I got tax free vouchers, they take part of your earnings and give it to you through a third party that you can they pay nursery direct. When I was on maternity, I didn't realise that they still paid those vouchers?! Because it was a benefit of the company, they paid my maternity pay, PLUS childcare vouchers. I wasn't NHS, just a private company with benefits such as healthcare etc. If you do have these, you can save them up while dd1 is at home during maternity and use them when you have 2 in childcare. Doesn't help now I understand, but hopefully less of a worry when muddling through with 2 under school age.

twinsetandpearl · 01/04/2022 18:28

@Nocutenamesleft

I am so sorry. But you can’t afford another child

It’s absolute madness. But on paper. It wasn’t going to be tight. It would be impossible

Cheaper mortgage could work. If your not on a fixed rate I would ring around

Cheaper house. That would work.

Otherwise you’re talking one of you to increase your working hours. So weekend job. Cleaning supermarket shift work. It’s shit. But I can’t see any other option.

It's a bit late for that since the OP is due in October 🤷🏻‍♀️
Camomila · 01/04/2022 18:29

Dramaticwithgoodreason That's a good shout. Remember though to pay in at least £1 a month to keep them going during mat leave (that's what we did I was on mat leave with DS2 until he was old enough to start at nursery)

notanothertakeaway · 01/04/2022 18:31

I sympathise, but having a child, and especially more than one, is a luxury, in our current world

I wish you well, and what's done is done, but you may have to make some tough choices

It's not all doom and gloom though. Apparently there are lots of opportunities in coding, and pay quite good from early doors, so you could look into that, perhaps?

bbn81 · 01/04/2022 18:33

Those suggesting childcare vouchers through work - they don't exist any more. They have been replaced with tax free childcare which the OP already uses. I think you can still put money into you tax free childcare account when you are on mat leave especially if you are on full pay for a few months. It will help for when you have 2 in nursery.

Dramaticwithgoodreason · 01/04/2022 18:37

@bbn81

Those suggesting childcare vouchers through work - they don't exist any more. They have been replaced with tax free childcare which the OP already uses. I think you can still put money into you tax free childcare account when you are on mat leave especially if you are on full pay for a few months. It will help for when you have 2 in nursery.
Oh, then I'm all out of ideas! & clearly out of the loop too!
Autumn42 · 01/04/2022 18:39

@Atomiccat

That is crazy money. Where I live full time nursery with well educated teachers is £90 a month, lovely home cooked meals included.
What are income tax levels in your area? It’s around 33% here on any earnings over 12.5k (from July) I pay equivalent to 70% of my salary in childcare (after TFC) and ours have gone up significantly too but I expected when we had children that either one of us would need to be available to be caring for them or otherwise paying for substitute care. We do rely on the tax we do pay providing a safety net if our circumstances changed significantly
Doggirl · 01/04/2022 18:43

Is her 2 year old meant to just see her one day a week ?? Madness. What exactly is the point of having kids if you are never going to see them?

Back in the 1940s, DGF got injured at work, and with no money coming in (no sick pay or HB in those days) my DGPs, young DF and DAunt were being faced with eviction.

DGM got a PT job in a Lyon's cafe. DGF went ballistic, and started shouting about "a woman's place being in the home".

DGMever the pragmatistpointed out, "But Danny, we're about to not have a home".

Seeing your child a few hours less a week temporarily to keep your head above water has to be a better plan than 'being there' but worrying while your life goes down the pan.

RedWingBoots · 01/04/2022 18:45

@Nocutenamesleft

I am so sorry. But you can’t afford another child

It’s absolute madness. But on paper. It wasn’t going to be tight. It would be impossible

Cheaper mortgage could work. If your not on a fixed rate I would ring around

Cheaper house. That would work.

Otherwise you’re talking one of you to increase your working hours. So weekend job. Cleaning supermarket shift work. It’s shit. But I can’t see any other option.

Too late for not having another child.
HyggeTygge · 01/04/2022 18:45

My local nursery was £900/month for 3 days/week!
Can you talk to your nursery and see if you can work something out?
I'd also get them to tell you what you'll be paying when the 30 hours kicks in. It's probably not as little as you think - I know I was "surprised". It's only a discount really, as loads of other costs find their way into the invoice.

Tippexy · 01/04/2022 18:46

@Legoisaws8om

Could you opt out of your pension for a bit so your not paying that?
Terrible advice - it would mean opting out of death benefits.
groeggmeg · 01/04/2022 18:46

OP I’m not sure of your vocation, but could you do bank work at the weekend in your field is say nursing? Trusts are crying out for extra staff on all of the wards, I’m signed with NHS professionals and they pay is good. It may mean working every Saturday or Sunday but you accrue holiday with them also, so it all adds up. Sunday pay is very lucrative, so if your husband is around at the weekend could you consider that?

Tippexy · 01/04/2022 18:47

If your DD is at nursery five days a week anyway and you’re so tight for money as a family, why don’t you go up to five days a week? It would also improve your maternity pay.

RedWingBoots · 01/04/2022 18:48

OP go to moneysavingexpert.com and join the forums. Work out with the posters there how you can make it work.

The only thing I can suggest is to see if you can extend your mortgage term until both children are in school so your repayments are less. Then once they are in school change your term back so it is finished before you retire.

MimosaFields · 01/04/2022 18:49

Why is your fuel bill so high? Can you switch off the heating, only do quick showers, limit the use of the oven, stop ironing anything? Lower the washing temperature in your washing machine?

MarshaBradyo · 01/04/2022 18:49

@Tippexy

If your DD is at nursery five days a week anyway and you’re so tight for money as a family, why don’t you go up to five days a week? It would also improve your maternity pay.
Op do you mean you pay for five days and work four?

This seems the best place to start

winterchills · 01/04/2022 18:50

This is so awful. I can imagine when you have baby it will be important that she carries on going so she doesn't loose confidence etc so maybe drop her 2 to afternoons or mornings just to keep her used to it. I really feel for you

HyggeTygge · 01/04/2022 18:50

@Tippexy

If your DD is at nursery five days a week anyway and you’re so tight for money as a family, why don’t you go up to five days a week? It would also improve your maternity pay.
Yes I wasn't sure about this - you're paying for flexibility if she's down for 5 days but only using 4. Can you use this to get a bit of additional income?
LakieLady · 01/04/2022 18:50

Would it be worth putting your name down for a place at a childminder? That's usually cheaper.

Porkbuttsandtaters · 01/04/2022 18:51

Things are going to be even tighter OP when you’re paying for two sets of child care. Even when your oldest starts school you’ll still need wraparound which isn’t cheap. This doesn’t seem sustainable. Can DH compress his hours into a 4 day week?

Wonderfulstuff · 01/04/2022 18:51

Honestly unless we start protesting for proper quality subsidised childcare nothing is going to change. The whole 'wait til they're three' thing is absolute bullshit. Most parents have to work and it's only a
minority who get the luxury of escaping the need for paid childcare.

Why the government think that some how children miraculously care for themselves between mat leave(if you're fortunate enough to have paid mat leave as who the fuck can survive on £140 a week?!) and until they turn 3 is a mystery to me. And even if you do get free hours it's only 21 hours a week if you don't have the liberty of only working term time. It's pretty much just a way to force women out of the work place and back into the home.

And yes my nursery fees have just gone up too. I support the raise as the staff need to be paid and operational costs have no doubt increased too. But the government need to stop sitting on their hands and do something to help working parents (and let's be honest, it's Mums who mainly feel this pain).

Irritatedmum · 01/04/2022 18:53

Your childcare costs won’t magically disappear once the oldest is at school - unless you’re planning to go part time?

I also wonder about the working 4 days but paying for full time nursery.

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