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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery have increased fees by 10% and we can't afford it.

323 replies

Notveryxmasy · 01/04/2022 13:31

With full time hours that's £100 a month more and we can't afford it. We don't have that money each month. We live rurally, I work from home and DH is a contractor so no one set place of work so DD has to go to a local childcare setting and there just aren't many to choose from at all. Her current nursery by sheer dumb luck is less than a mile down the road; I'd have to drive 6 miles to get to another one by which time the fuel using 24 miles every day would eat up any savings we could possibly make moving her. She's also settled and loves it there, I don't want to disrupt her. No chance of a pay rise as I'm public sector and DH is SE and already doing everything he can to earn what he does.

She currently goes 8-6 as I work 8:30-5. I pick her up by quatre past 5 but the nursery don't do half hours so we have to pay for the full 10 hours. I have sent an email to ask if they will please consider allowing us to drop an hour a day and let her do 8:15 to 5:15 but I haven't heard anything back and I'm not holding out hope. All our bills have increased so much these past few months and we're expecting another baby, we don't have this extra money. What can we do if the nursery refuse to let her drop an hour?

We don't have sky, we don't eat out, we don't have luxuries, I don't even have a smart phone these days as I couldn't afford to replace it when it broke. There's nothing we can cut out to magically find that £100 every month.

OP posts:
moita · 01/04/2022 13:40

Sorry OP. It's crazy how expensive things are getting.

How long until the baby arrives as surely you'll be taking some maternity leave? So your oldest can be at home.

Could you change your hours to working in the evening or is it not possible?

UnbeatenMum · 01/04/2022 13:40

Do you have any flexibility in your hours? Can you drop a half day or a day instead and work in the evening or early morning, or work around DD or take turns with DH to watch her? How old is she? We had a short childcare gap when DD2 was 4 because her childminder went on maternity leave but she managed to entertain herself for an afternoon a week while DH worked until we were able to find another childminder with space. Lots of people had to do this in the pandemic. Obviously you can't if you've got lots of calls or a very young child but might be an option for an older preschooler.

TokyoSushi · 01/04/2022 13:43

When will you go on maternity? I know it's not ideal but could you take her out some of the time then?

InDubiousBattle · 01/04/2022 13:46

How old is your DD? Will he be 3 when your mat leave is up?

Scottishskifun · 01/04/2022 13:47

Are you using government 20% already?
Definitely recommend seeing if you can work flexibly so start early and finish earlier 1 day a week so you can cut half a day?

We cut down on hours by flexible working

EmmaGrundyForPM · 01/04/2022 13:47

If you WFH and are public sector, can you ask for flexible hours?

I'm public sector. One of my colleague works 7 - 3 every day with her husband doing the mornings with the kids before dropping them at school.

Another colleague works 8-4, her husband drops their dd at nursery and she picks her up. She then goes back to work 8 -10pm on 3 days per week, but picks her dd up at lunchtime one day a week. That seems to work well.

NoSquirrels · 01/04/2022 13:47

Would your DH earn more - realistically- if he was employed not self-employed?

Sometimes self-employed people are actually working at below minimum wage once thinks things like petrol and costs are taken into account. Let alone lack of pension, sick pay etc.

Do you claim everything you’re entitled to?

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 01/04/2022 13:48

Can either of you swap to working on a Saturday or Sunday instead of a weekday?

Are you using tax free childcare?

Ikeptgoing · 01/04/2022 13:48

I have no helpful suggestions as I'm sure you've thought of them all, but sending thoughts as that is so difficult. A 10% hike in fees is massive

I can imagine their running costs and uplift in NMW for over 23 year olds from 8.91 to 9.50 ph is not helping with costs that will be passed into service users - particularly for a small independent nursery - nor the heating costs that have risen dramatically

usually service type costs uplift each year are 2-3% if that , not 10% but it is an unusual year

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 01/04/2022 13:48

Any childminders nearby?

Original poster
Notveryxmasy · 01/04/2022 13:48

She's 2. The baby's not due till October so she can be off with me then but I can't have her home with me whilst I work. I'm in meetings virtually non stop all day and she's not old enough to just sit there. DH work generally is about an hour away (it varies but give or take) and he does sometimes drop her off in the morning but he can never be home to get her earlier than I can so it doesn't really matter which of us does the drop off as it doesn't affect the hours we need.
I will have to ask work if they would allow me to run out and get her for 5 then work an extra half hour the other end. She could probably tolerate me doing a half hour of admin whilst she watches cartoons after nursery but I already know work will say that's fine as long as there's not a meeting I should me in and I do relatively often have meeting between 4 and 5 so couldn't guarantee it consistently enough to make a permanent change with the nursery.

OP posts:
Ozanj · 01/04/2022 13:50

How heavy is your workload Fridays? If it’s light then just skip them. When I wfh with 2 yo DS I just switch my camera off during meetings and use a noise cancelling headset so people can’t hear him in the background

newkillerstar · 01/04/2022 13:51

Are you able to pick her up before 5 and make up the time in the evening or once your home if shes able to entertain herself? or if you get an hour for lunch cut that down to 30mins? would only need to he 30mins or so per day and would save you an hour of nursery fees per day

Crunchymum · 01/04/2022 13:51

How old is eldest and when will her her free hours kick in?

How long until you are on maternity leave?

Any scope for having DD at home 1 day a week (I work from home and have 3 DC who have wraparound care so I realise this is morally a big no-no but if it was just a temporary measure you could wangle it?)

Long shot but what about overtime? You could in theory work until 5.30 (so an extra 10 hours a month?)

I'm so sad at how the "average" family who don't receive any help or support are being hit with all these price increases.

Not to be the voice of doom but how are the finances stacking up for 2DC? Sad

Porcupineintherough · 01/04/2022 13:51

How much maternity leave will you be taking and how soon. If not long then can you keep going until then, then pull her out and save? But if you cant afford the extra now, how will you manage paying childcare for 2?

Ikeptgoing · 01/04/2022 13:52

@Notveryxmasy
That sounds so tough

I know it seems cheeky as many female workers aren't usually good at asking for this, but take a lead from "the man book", can you talk to your manager about a potential pay rise? If you've been working well and are valued , without a pay rise for some time- can you make a case you are worth more yourself for the work you do?

tealandteal · 01/04/2022 13:53

Are you using the tax free childcare? How long until her “free” hours kick in?

SafelySoftly · 01/04/2022 13:54

You’re fortunate that an hour less at nursery means you can save money. Round here there’s just a daily rate and that’s it.

Presuming with baby number 2 you have some contingency for that? So you may need to dip into that and go back to work earlier.

Can your partner pick up more hours/work at weekend?

TokenGinger · 01/04/2022 13:55

If DH can drop her off, can you not ask work if you can change your hours from 8.30-5, to 8-4.30?

I've worked public sector all of my life and am yet to come across one that doesn't offer flexi time, so I'd be surprised if they declined that.

Or compressed hours? I do my 37 hours over 4.5 days.

Ikeptgoing · 01/04/2022 13:56

Also if you are WFH are you claiming the tax free wfh allowance - it will only be extra £60-100 a year as it's 20% tax of low income rate of £6 per week...
you can claim for 2020-2022 and 2021-2022 if you are quick too so that could be an extra £60-100 overpaid tax for both those years and so quick and simple to claim (like 6 minutes if PAYE and you haven't already claimed or claim by self assessment)

See

www.gov.uk/tax-relief-for-employees/working-at-home

lanthanum · 01/04/2022 13:57

Assuming you'll take her out/reduce hours when maternity leave starts, perhaps you can ask them about some sort of payment plan to allow you to defer some of the increased cost.

On the one hand, it's in their interest to keep you as customers, with another on the way; on the other, it sounds as if there's not a lot of alternative, and they probably know that.

Try your company on flexing your hours? Take one day off a week as maternity leave approaches? Are you planning on going back after maternity leave, or will childcare costs for two be be prohibitive? If you can explain to someone the problem with the nursery's charging policy, they might see that they're more likely to get you back after maternity if they can flex enough to reduce the childcare costs for you.

Porcupineintherough · 01/04/2022 13:57

Ok so based on your last post:

  • do you have any control about when meetings are booked for? Could you say "no meetings bw 4 and 5" for example?
Do you have a friend or relative who could help w collections on the rare occasions a meeting was unavoidable? Could you dh take her so you could start work earlier in the day? Or swap to working Saturday so he could have her 1 day in the week?

Sorry, I realise these are all clutching at straws solutions.

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 01/04/2022 14:00

What was going to happen in a year? You would have to pay 2 sets of nursery fees. The 30 free hours wouldnt cover the oldest fully, so you'd have one full time to pay and the other one would be more than £100. If you cant afford the extra £100 now, what were you going to do when you had to pay more than that for both of them to be in nursery?

Atomiccat · 01/04/2022 14:02

That is crazy money. Where I live full time nursery with well educated teachers is £90 a month, lovely home cooked meals included.

Original poster
Notveryxmasy · 01/04/2022 14:03

We use tax free childcare already but we go over the cap as it is which means all of this increase will have to be paid for without the tax free hours. DD has only just turned 2 so it's a year until her 30 free hours kick in. Baby is due in October and she will have to stay with me then. I'm NHS and am mid band 6, I will reach top band 6 whilst I'm on maternity leave and between that and an old loan that will finish in October also, we can afford childcare for 2 children with DDs 30 free hours after 1 year of maternity leave. We always knew it would be tight but in theory it's only one year of paying for double childcare before DD will start school and we had hoped that we could just make it work and make it to the other side of childcare and then actually have some disposable income again.
I can only be so flexible in my job as it's about being available for other people who work the same hours I do so whilst they are flexible it is limited.

OP posts: