Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery have increased fees by 10% and we can't afford it.

323 replies

Notveryxmasy · 01/04/2022 13:31

With full time hours that's £100 a month more and we can't afford it. We don't have that money each month. We live rurally, I work from home and DH is a contractor so no one set place of work so DD has to go to a local childcare setting and there just aren't many to choose from at all. Her current nursery by sheer dumb luck is less than a mile down the road; I'd have to drive 6 miles to get to another one by which time the fuel using 24 miles every day would eat up any savings we could possibly make moving her. She's also settled and loves it there, I don't want to disrupt her. No chance of a pay rise as I'm public sector and DH is SE and already doing everything he can to earn what he does.

She currently goes 8-6 as I work 8:30-5. I pick her up by quatre past 5 but the nursery don't do half hours so we have to pay for the full 10 hours. I have sent an email to ask if they will please consider allowing us to drop an hour a day and let her do 8:15 to 5:15 but I haven't heard anything back and I'm not holding out hope. All our bills have increased so much these past few months and we're expecting another baby, we don't have this extra money. What can we do if the nursery refuse to let her drop an hour?

We don't have sky, we don't eat out, we don't have luxuries, I don't even have a smart phone these days as I couldn't afford to replace it when it broke. There's nothing we can cut out to magically find that £100 every month.

OP posts:
SpiderinaWingMirror · 01/04/2022 16:44

Don't do a mortgage break. Look at extending the term, 2 different things.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/04/2022 16:45

as she'll have to come out of nursery when I'm on maternity leave anyway

Are you 100% sure that her place will be available if you take her out for your ML period .

I took a shorter ML with DC2 and my DC1 still attended Nursery . It gave him his continuity with friends and routine and gave me time with DD
Plus the waiting list to get in meant his place would've gone .

There was no Free Hours then, I got a 10% sibling discount and 25% off the last term (about 4.6yo ish)

It was bloody tough and things don't get easier even now Sad

fridaRose · 01/04/2022 16:48

@BoredZelda

OP explains this if you read her posts

I did. It still isn’t really explained.

Agree; it is explained and it just further reinforces that OP can't afford a second child.

If is 'explained' then that should be problem solved....?

Legoisaws8om · 01/04/2022 16:48

Could you opt out of your pension for a bit so your not paying that?

mogsrus · 01/04/2022 16:53

They won’t be the last to do it. A lot I think will close, running costs will just eat into everything, hold on to your hats, going to be a very long bumpy ride

Cheesechips · 01/04/2022 16:53

Does your other half have to drive a lot for work? £400 a month seems a lot.

cjpark · 01/04/2022 16:54

Could DH work one day of the weekend? Even working one day would bring in £300 plus a month which would help for the time being?

ButterfliesAndPancakes · 01/04/2022 16:54

I would speak to the loan company/bank about the loan. Tell them that there’s literally no way you can afford the full amount right now. I’ve just supported my mum with this and they actually wrote off all her credit card debt and her loan. I wouldn’t suggest you do this as you’ve got a mortgage whereas she lives with us so will never need to do another credit check again (she now has a CCJ). Anyway, speak to them and say you would like to make a token payment of a £1 a month for a year before restarting again. It might sound ridiculous but they have teams dedicated to this sort of thing and they will allow it, you just have to be very persistent.

VerveClique · 01/04/2022 16:55

You really need to increase your income. It's not nice, but it has to be done.

You both seem to have weekends off. Think what you can do with that.

Either of you - delivery driving? Lawnmowing / hedgecutting? Cleaning? Retail / hospitality work.

OR - seriously - you may be better increasing your work to full time - swallowing the extra nursery cost, and boosting your maternity pay at the same time. You will miss a day with DD in the week, but needs must. You both have weekends off at present - that's more than a lot of families do!

Sorry it's so difficult x

Xenia · 01/04/2022 16:57

Weekend job for one or both of you eg one work all day Saturday and one all day Sunday? we did this for a while when the children were little.

NoSquirrels · 01/04/2022 16:59

Can your DH start work later and finish later? Can you save the hour in the mornings not the afternoons?

Babyroobs · 01/04/2022 16:59

@Xenia

Weekend job for one or both of you eg one work all day Saturday and one all day Sunday? we did this for a while when the children were little.
Extremely hard when op already works full time, her child is in nursery 50 hours a week and she is pregnant ! Is her 2 year old meant to just see her one day a week ?? Madness. What exactly is the point of having kids if you are never going to see them?
fridaRose · 01/04/2022 17:00

yes, we knew it would be tight but we want another child
That's not how the world works. I want many things.

and we worked it out that we could afford it
You didn't work it out well.

PancakePenelope · 01/04/2022 17:02

OP, sorry you're faced with this tough situation. Our CM has increased hourly rate as of April too and I am feeling very lucky that this has coincided with DC turning three and some free hours kicking in.

Please can you clarify, if you are working 4 days a week why do you have to pay for 5 days a week nursery? I assume it's because the 4 days change from week to week and so nursery has to have a space in reserve for your child Monday-Friday? If there was some way around this and you only had to pay for the 4 days a week that would be the key. Or if that isn't possible maybe you could work 5 days up until maternity leave? If there's more time available you might as well take it in now, earn more, use all the childcare that you are already paying for and bolster your maternity pay to boot?

Dixiechickonhols · 01/04/2022 17:02

You’ve not said what DH earns. He can drop off but not pick up. Could you start earlier to finish earlier to save a few hours childcare.
So eg he drops her at 9 and works 9.30-6.30. You do 7-3. Obviously only possible if part of your role is admin.
You could see how much you could reduce pension contribution by for 6 months. Obviously far from ideal but if you are desperate. Do check you won’t lose your death in service benefits etc - on another thread a nurse has stopped hers for childcare cost reasons and then found out knock on effect. Plus you lose employer contributions too and affect on final pension. Not to be done lightly.
Could he get a second job you need £25 a week. What are his skills could he do additional odd job type work, bar work etc.

MisguidedSheep · 01/04/2022 17:05

There are lots of good suggestions on here. As you are public sector have you looked into whether your Dept/LA offers a salary sacrifice scheme for childcare vouchers.....that would help.

Also can you request flexible working....either reduce your hours, see if you can make the hours up in the evening when your DH is home or look at condensed hours(5 days over 4 or a 9 day fortnight)....that way you have a day a week/fortnight at hone that you don't need childcare for but without losing any salary.

PancakePenelope · 01/04/2022 17:05

Everyone seems to have completely ignored OP saying that she cannot change her working hours. Not everyone has a job that accommodates flexible hours - if you are having back to back meetings with people it generally helps if you work at the same time as them 🙄

RJnomore1 · 01/04/2022 17:10

I’m not seeing op saying she has actually requested flexible working? Just saying she is in meetings all day… I work in the public sector, there’s loads of different flexible working patterns and lo and behold the meetings work around peoples availability if they don’t work a Monday/every second Wednesday/Friday afternoon. Until she formally asks she wont know.

HorribleHerstory · 01/04/2022 17:12

I had a cleaning job in the office across the road from my full time job, so I’d have done two hours of work by the time I got to my full time work, then after I finished, I worked Thursday and Saturday nights behind a bar and Sunday lunchtimes in the restaurant section of the bar. Because we needed money.

Useranon1 · 01/04/2022 17:13

£400 a month for groceries for 2 adults and a toddler is exorbitant! Surely that's where you cut?!

monsterpup · 01/04/2022 17:13

@fridaRose

we had hoped that we could just make it work and make it to the other side of childcare and then actually have some disposable income again.

You 'hoped' , didn't create enough of a buffer in case some unexpected costs come up - and they did.
Sorry but you shouldn't have planned another child when you can't afford it. It's just how it is and we have to deal with our circumstances, not just have another baby hoping for the best.
Speaking as a mum of one kid.

What do you expect her to do about it now she's pregnant though? Telling OP not to do something she's already done isn't particularly helpful or constructive
RedskyThisNight · 01/04/2022 17:25

Extremely hard when op already works full time, her child is in nursery 50 hours a week and she is pregnant ! Is her 2 year old meant to just see her one day a week ?? Madness. What exactly is the point of having kids if you are never going to see them?

Her 2 year old presumably also sees her mornings and evenings. Plenty of children see their parents less frequently, and this is only a temporary stop gap for 6 months. Yes, it will be hard, but OP has already done all the "easy" things. They are left with doing something radical.

RedskyThisNight · 01/04/2022 17:26

@Useranon1

£400 a month for groceries for 2 adults and a toddler is exorbitant! Surely that's where you cut?!
OP said £300. Not that much to cut, I wouldn't have thought.
ancientgran · 01/04/2022 17:27

@Useranon1

£400 a month for groceries for 2 adults and a toddler is exorbitant! Surely that's where you cut?!
She says £300 for groceries, the £400 was fuel and running costs for car.
TwoBlueFish · 01/04/2022 17:29

Have you checked to see if you qualify for Universal Credit. This is a good site to do a calculation www.uceplus.co.uk/step1